Eight Years Ago
Cam
It’s been almost six months since Rafe and I last hung out one-on-one, and his texts are getting even fewer.
It bugs me more than I can say. Like, the pit growing in my chest hurts whenever I think of him, and I’m starting to suspect that maybe this isn’t normal friendship.
Maybe friends don’t start feeling needy and jealous whenever their friend hangs out with someone else.
Maybe most friends don’t want to kick something whenever the other one gets tagged in photos and videos online that don’t involve them.
In my sulking, I’ve been trying to message him less, thinking if we don’t hang out as often these overwhelming impulses will start to ease.
It’s so damn hard though.
When I came out to him, I thought something would change, but every time we hung out together after that, he was totally normal.
Luckily, when I finally cave and invite Rafe out over the weekend, he’s free. We agree to meet at the cinema in Port Welling, so I get there early and buy the biggest tub of popcorn they have, along with a bag bulging full of all the candy I can fit in it.
We’re going to be so sick by the end of the movie, but I’m still confident I’ll be able to drag him to the arcade next door.
Even though we haven’t played there in years, I’m willing to bet I’ll kick his ass at any game we try.
I’m smiling like an idiot when his mom’s car pulls up to the curb and he climbs out. The weird flip my stomach does is triggered when he grins and throws me a wave, and I try to ignore it, but I can’t. I know what this is.
Fuck.
I’m crushing on him.
Sure, I’ve noticed guys were hot before, and I’ve gotten myself off to more than enough gay porn to know I’m not straight, but this doesn’t feel like the same thing.
This is consuming and head spinny, and even though I wish it would stop, I also never want to not feel this way.
Until Rafe turns back to the car and holds his hand out.
My gut drops as Laura Fallows climbs out of the back seat and wraps her little hand around his. I know of her from middle school, and I’ve seen her on the cheer team when we’ve played Sunbury High, but I know nothing else about her.
Except she’s here.
With Rafe.
My Rafe.
“Hey, Cam.” Rafe pulls me into this awkward side hug that he drops way too quickly. “Laura, this is Cam. Cam, Laura.”
I swallow and nod at her, even as she smiles sweetly at me.
“I didn’t know we’d be a threesome,” I say, laughing awkwardly at that choice of words. “Would have got a bigger popcorn.”
She eyes it, clearly amused. “I don’t think that’s possible.”
Uh-huh, yeah, cool. Cool, cool. This isn’t awkward at all. Them still holding hands isn’t making me all murderous either.
“So … you two …” Urg, I can’t say the word.
She steps closer to him, and I swear her smile gets bigger—like how? Must be some creepy cheerleader mutation. “We’ve been dating for a few months already.”
A few months.
And I—with all my internet stalking—didn’t know that.
“Well, congratulations on your few monthiversary. What an achievement.” I’m being weird. So weird.
Laura thanks me, but Rafe glances away and starts chewing on his thumbnail. Great. I’m making him regret coming to hang out with me. Perfect, really.
I shove the popcorn and candy at Laura, then step back. “Just have to take a piss before we go in. I bought two tickets, so you might want to grab one more.” Because like hell am I buying Laura’s.
Then I scramble for the bathroom so I can get my brain working properly.
I don’t know what I was expecting. We’re sixteen. Of course Rafe is going to start dating at some point. Fuck, Laura might not even be his first girlfriend. But seeing them together makes me squirmy, especially when this was supposed to be our time. I want to be friends again. I want him back.
The door swings open, and Rafe ducks in behind two other guys. He walks over to me, looking a little lost.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, totally.” I turn on the tap to wash my hands. “You didn’t mention you were bringing your girlfriend.”
Rafe leans in and flicks his hand under the water, spraying it my way. “Shut up.”
“Come on, you had to know I was going to tease you. Could have given me the heads-up you were inviting her though.”
He sighs. “Yeah, ah … I mean, she called this morning, and when I said I was heading to the movies, it was sort of awkward? So I invited her, because that’s what you’re meant to do, right?”
“You’re the one with the girlfriend.”
He snorts. “Like you’ve never had one.”
I haven’t. Considering all my friends have gone girl mad, it should probably be something I look into, I guess. But do I even like girls? I dunno. Definitely not a thought I can deal with right now anyway. “Totally. Heaps. They’re needy and annoying, so good luck with that.”
He tugs his sleeve down over his hand. “Laura’s not like that.”
“All girls are.” I push past him before he can reply, and thankfully the theater is already open. We find our seats, Rafe sandwiched between me and Laura like some kind of fucked-up double date.
Except they’re the ones holding hands on the armrest. And sharing the candy I bought between them.
And when the light goes dark and the movie hits halfway, they’re the ones who start kissing.
I fold my arms over my chest and sink down in my chair, wishing the movie was over already.
And when it’s done, instead of heading to the arcade, Laura wants to get ice cream.
I grudgingly go with them, counting the minutes until Mom can pick me up and put an end to this gut-wrenching torture.