Chapter 16
Cam
Ihead straight for my room before the illusion can break. That was … Fuck me.
My dick is about to explode. If given the chance, I would have stayed with Rafe all night, but I was one kiss away from dry humping his leg, and I’m pretty sure that would have gone well past his boundaries.
Hopefully there’s a next time. A next time where I can contain myself and spend the night holding him and being close. For now though, my dick badly needs attention. And I swear if my needy cock has interrupted the one chance I get to be close with Rafe, I’ll chop the fucker off.
Well, I won’t. Because ouch. But dear God, man, that was incredible.
It was so far past what I’d ever actually thought would happen. Sure, I’ve imagined all the sweet and kinky scenarios possible where Rafe is concerned, but nothing matches the reality of having him beneath me.
I reach my room and yank my jeans and briefs down under my ass. I’m so turned on my cock is sticky with precum, so when I wrap my hand around the top and smear it down my shaft, I have to bite my lip to stop a feral groan leaving me.
I’m still not convinced that actually happened.
That we kissed and I got to hold him. That he pressed his hardness up against mine, the warmth of his body seeping through both our shirts.
It’s more likely that I’m passed out drunk in a ditch somewhere, hallucinating a world where I get to call Rafe mine.
When it comes to him, my imagination has always been ridiculously vivid.
I stroke myself to the memory of his needy breaths, his hands on my waist, my back, skimming down my arms.
I’m lost in memories when the sudden harsh trill of my ringtone cuts through the moment.
“Shit …” I fish it out of my pocket and go to switch it to silent when I see Rafe’s name on the screen.
It gives me pause, and my hand reluctantly stops stroking. He knew what I was coming home to do, so the only reason I can think of for him to call me is … he’s freaking out.
Shit.
I quickly swipe to answer as I wipe my other hand off on my jeans.
“Yeah?”
“Hold on.”
A notification comes up to switch to video, and I accept. His face fills the screen, lips red, cheeks flushed, and eyes heavy-lidded. His teeth catch his full bottom lip as he takes me in.
“Everything okay?” I try not to sound distracted, but my dick is making it so damn hard, especially now I’m looking at him. He’s that sexy, I’m going to lose my mind.
“Are you touching yourself?”
My mouth drops. That’s miles from what I was expecting him to say, I’m lost on how to respond for a moment. “Ah … I was.”
“Good.” The image on the screen dips lower to his chin. Then his neck, chest, abs … My dick throbs as that sexy-as-fuck V hits my screen, and my hand immediately flies back to grasp my cock. “Me too,” he says a beat before the phone dips lower, and the image that fills my screen is droolworthy.
Of course he has a perfect cock. He’s got a strong hand wrapped around it, veins and tendons standing out along the shaft as he slowly, antagonizingly, drags his hand down and back up again.
The tip is fat and purple and disappears inside his foreskin with every upstroke because holy shit he’s uncut.
That one time we jerked off together, I didn’t let myself look.
I swipe my tongue over my dry lips and start to jack off in time with him.
“I can’t believe this is happening …” My eyes are locked on the screen.
“Why?”
I let out a husky laugh that blends into a long breath. “You’re so goddamn hot. You have no idea …”
“You know what’s hot?” His voice hitches. “You make me feel like … shit, Cam, you make me feel. That was … Hnghhh.”
The gravelly sound combined with the precum that dribbles out of his dick makes my hand speed up. “This is okay?” I ask. The last thing I want is to ruin the moment, but I need to check in.
“So okay. So, so, so okay …”
“Thank fuck.” I reach down to squeeze my balls because I’m getting close. “Rafe?”
“Yeah?”
“You turn me on so much.”
“Mm?”
“Your cock is the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”
“Yeah?”
“So hot.”
“Show me yours,” he rasps.
I hurry to comply and watch as Rafe’s hand stills, then squeezes hard. “You like that?”
“Cam …” His hand speeds up.
Watching him touch himself makes my vision wonky.
It’s one thing to know what he’s doing and another to see it in motion.
I’m trying to memorize every stroke, every twist of his hand, every caught breath.
The way the shiny head of his cock disappears and reappears.
I wish I could touch, taste, make him sound the way he does now, but instead, I thank my lucky stars that I get to see this at all.
To enjoy this intimate moment with him and experience the way he makes himself come undone.
“That’s good, so good …” I murmur. “Choke your cock for me.” The word baby almost slips out, but I manage to hold it back. There’s a lot we’re going to need to talk about after tonight, but for now, I’m going to enjoy this moment.
Rafe gasps. It sends need right down into my balls.
My cock throbs under my attention, and I pick up the pace. Stroke up and down, rolling my palm over the head.
I almost whine at how quickly I take myself to the edge. “I swear to you, I normally have more in me than this.”
“What are you—”
My balls draw up as my orgasm crashes into me. Cum fills my hand and seeps through my fingers, and I keep rubbing the tip, wanting to drag out the moment for as long as possible.
Rafe has gone silent except for his heavy breaths and the sound of his hand moving over his cock.
“That’s for you.” I hold up my hand so he can see how sticky I am. “That’s what you do to me.” I’m totally going out on a limb here, thinking it’ll turn him on, but no sooner than the words are out, Rafe is gasping my name.
His cock pulses, and the camera goes shaky.
I want to curse at the angle, but a moment later, my view is back, along with the cum splashed over Rafe’s abs.
His hand is gripping his balls as his dick twitches, and I’m so tempted to screenshot the image, to save it forever, so I can relive the hottest moment of my life over and over again, but … I’m not a creep.
And I’m lucky to have had this at all.
“Thank you.” It sounds stupid as soon as I say it, but tonight has been incredible, beyond anything I ever hoped would happen.
I’m sure there are people who’d view what we’ve done as nothing, but I know Rafe.
And what happened … I don’t know if I’m thanking him for the sex or the trust or for sharing this with me, but I want him to know it was important to me too. “Let me see your face.”
He quickly moves the phone back up his body, and when I see his face, I see the vulnerability I was expecting. “Can we talk? Tomorrow?” he asks.
I give him what I hope is a reassuring look. “I’ll bring over breakfast. You okay?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“Good. Please don’t regret this.”
His smile is easy. “Impossible.”
Instead of cooking waffles, then taking them over, I grab everything I need, including my waffle iron, and carry them next door. If this conversation is awkward, at least it’ll give me something to do.
My head is heavy with a hangover as I knock on Rafe’s door. I’m hoping like crazy that he hasn’t woken up and regretted everything we did last night, but considering we were both pretty sober by the time we were kissing, I’ll be pissed if he can’t at least have a conversation about it.
If he doesn’t want to do it again, that’s fine. If he freaks and wants to pretend like it never happened … our friendship won’t survive it.
The door finally clicks open, and the sight of him makes my heart stutter a beat. His dark hair is a sleepy halo over his head, his eyes are all cute and scrunched, and his sleep shorts are riding low on his hips.
I can only assume he forgot the shirt in an attempt to taunt me.
“Morning.” I force an overly chipper tone I’m totally not feeling and hold up my bag of ingredients. “Hungry?”
Rafe eyes me with amusement, which I hope is a good sign.
He steps back, and I pass him, trying not to focus on his silence.
I lead the way into the kitchen and place the bag on the counter.
He pulls out a stool, still quiet. I’m determined not to be awkward even as I’m being overwhelmingly, ridiculously awkward.
I’m about to take out the waffle iron and pretend like everything is fine, when Rafe runs his thumb over his bottom lip, and I just can’t do it.
“Okay.” My palms hit the countertop. “Isn’t overthinking your thing? Are you going to say something or leave me to stew?”
His grin lights up his face. “You’re cute when you stew though.”
Like he’s said the magic words, I’m able to relax. I snort. “You’re mistaken. I’m cute always.”
“Eh.” He tilts his hand back and forth. “I’d give you a six.”
“If a six got me a night with you, I’ll take it.”
His cheeks darken, but he doesn’t look uncomfortable, so I start pulling out the ingredients and get to work.
Rafe leans forward and groans into his hands. “What was I thinking?”
“I know. ‘Mm, that big ol’ six looks damn good tonight, I want to eat his face.’”
“I’m positive that wasn’t it.” He watches me cook, while I try and scrounge up the courage to ask the question on my mind.
Normally I never have an issue voicing my thoughts, but his answer could hurt me.
I wait until everything is plated up before sliding his across to him and meeting his eyes.
“Do you regret it?”
“No.” His tongue swipes over his lips. “I told you I wouldn’t.”
Relief surges through me, and he nods toward the living room.
“Come on, let’s go talk.”
I hang my head back and follow him. “I’d rather make out again.”
Thankfully, he laughs.
We sit on the floor at his coffee table, and as he takes a bite of his waffles with all the toppings, he lets out a long, obscene moan. “I didn’t know you could cook.”
“Yeah, I got really good when I was living out of home.”
“And yet you’ve been letting me buy Harvey’s for us most nights.”
“A full stomach is a full stomach.” I shrug. “But you’re stalling, because this isn’t what you wanted to talk about.”
“You can’t let me avoid an awkward conversation, can you?”
“I definitely could, but then where is the fun in it for me?”
“Right, my life exists purely for your entertainment.”
I wink at him. “Now you’re getting it.”
Rafe’s smile slowly drops, and he starts to chew on his nail. I reach out and gently pull his hand away.
“You don’t need to feel nervous around me. You can say whatever you need to.”
“That’s the thing. I’m not sure how to say it.”
“Then word vomit, remember?”
“Fine.” He huffs out a breath. “Last night was …”
When he doesn’t continue, I try to fill in the blanks. “Hot as fuck? Mind-blowing? Total spank bank material?”
He curls in on himself. “Intimate. I want it to happen again, but I have no idea how much—if anything—I can give you. Even though jerking off with you on the phone was hot and felt good, I don’t have that urge to do it again.
I never have that urge. Like, I know sex feels good, my body responds and everything, but if I never had it again, I don’t think I’d care. ”
I stay silent when he pauses this time, hoping he’ll go on.
“Kissing you was incredible. I could have done it all night. When I got to my room … I was going to video myself and send it to you, but I wasn’t sure I wanted that out there and …
I wanted to see you. The thought of turning you on, of you watching me, it feels like more than just sex.
I mean, yeah, it’s hot, but I dunno. It’s like there’s trust there or something.
” His words trail off into a mumble, but I’ve heard enough.
I know he’s embarrassed right now, but everything he’s saying is everything I’ve ever wanted to hear.
Kind of. Sure, I’d prefer he was as hungry for me as I am for him, but the fact he isn’t adds an extra layer to what’s happening between us that I never would have expected.
The fact he can tell me all this at all shows he trusts me.
For some reason that makes me feel better than a quick fuck ever could.
“What I’m getting from all that is you want the chance to explore things without pressure and to see where it goes?” I’m trying not to get too excited, but how is this my life?
“I …” He swallows. “It doesn’t seem fair on you though. I don’t want you to feel like an experiment or whatever. It’s more than that.”
“Why don’t you let me decide what I think is fair? I’ve wanted you for so long that even if this is all some experiment to you, I’m going to enjoy it.”
“Yeah?”
The nerves in my stomach are going haywire. “Yeah.”
He leans forward, almost like he wants to kiss me, but I don’t want things going too fast too soon. So before he can stop me, I tackle him to the floor, pin him, then hack up some spit and let it slowly hang down over his face.
Rafe bucks beneath me. “Asshole.”
I suck it back up again before it can actually hit him. “Do you have any idea how much I used to love having you under me?”
“I can’t believe it.”
“Believe it.” I duck down and nip his nose. “Now eat your waffles.”