Chapter 22
Cam
Taking time away was exactly what we needed. Rafe and I go fishing through the day, and swim in the lake, and take hikes through the forest around our campsite. He smiles a lot. The fresh air suits him. And it’s nice to see him relaxed and out of those stuffy suits.
He’s like the Rafe I used to know, and not.
But the more time we spend together, the more he opens up and jokes around.
I watch as his strong fingers thread another worm onto the hook before he sets up his line to cast off again.
The water laps at his ankles, and he’s pushed his sweats up his long legs so they’re bunched above his knees. He’s wearing one of my hats—facing the right way, the nerve of him!—and his T-shirt strains over those arm muscles that I can’t stop drooling over.
We haven’t fucked again, but I watched him jerk off last night, which was sexy as hell. I know he did it for me, but he’s assured me he knows it isn’t expected, so I try not to question it too much.
“How can you look so hot when all you’re doing is messing around with bait?”
“It’s a skill.” He draws back the fishing rod and then casts off perfectly. He’s a fast learner.
“You’re distracting me.”
“Nonsense.” Rafe turns away from me and tugs his sweats down enough to reveal the top curve of his ass. “I can’t imagine what you’re talking about.”
I drop my head back. “Are you trying to kill me?”
“What? My ass was getting hot.”
“I bet.”
He drags his thumb down the shirt over his chest, his abs, before he hooks it in the front of his waistband, revealing the tiniest sliver of brown skin.
“This is practically murder,” I complain.
“Someone’s feeling dramatic.”
“Death by boner. It’s a thing.”
“Uh-huh.”
“My dick is draining all the blood from my body, and it’s your fault.”
“You’re the one eye fucking me. I’m a total innocent in all this.” And maybe I’d believe him if he didn’t reach down and pull out his dick.
“Rafe …” I quickly check that we’re out of view of anyone, before stepping closer. “Feeling daring, are we?”
“Horny, actually. Figured I’d give myself something to do while we wait on these fish.”
I wade closer until I’m pressed up behind him and look down over his shoulder. His hand is gliding slowly up and down his shaft, giving me the perfect view of the reddened head glistening with precum.
My hands find his hip bones as I rest my chin on his shoulder. “Can I help?” I’m nervous to even ask him, but he knows that he can say no whenever he wants.
Instead, he turns his head and kisses my cheek. “Watch me.”
So I do. I watch his hand stroke and tease, tightening his grip and swiping his thumb over his tip, until he’s coming into his fist, standing on the edge of the lake where anyone can walk past.
“You know, I can safely say that in all the scenarios I pictured of hooking up with you, none of them involved feeding the sea life your cum.”
“So you’re saying I have a better imagination than you?”
I press a kiss to his neck. “I give you that stroke of genius.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve never taken off on a random road trip then gotten my dick out in public on a whim, so I’d say that’s accurate.”
“Aren’t I special?”
He reels in his empty line. “Need me to take care of you now?”
“Nope. I’ll sort it out later.” Of course, I’m horny after watching that, but I like just spending time with him too. “I’m gonna go build a fire.”
“Sounds good.” He clears his throat and drops his voice to an overly deep level. “Me man. Me find food.”
“Uh-huh.” I eye the empty cooler sitting at the side of the lake. “And might I point out what an excellent job you’re doing so far.”
He flips me off as I leave to hunt down firewood. It’s peaceful, which is something it never was when my friends and I used to hang out here.
It doesn’t take long for me to find all the wood I need, so I go back to camp and set up. When Rafe joins me an hour later, he still hasn’t caught any fish, so I grab the food I brought from the car. “Maybe next time you can impress me with your incredible survivalist skills, Bear Grylls.”
“I swear I had one and it got away.”
“Of course.”
He tosses a twig at me. “You’re a dick.”
“Not new information.”
“You’re really making me second-guess dating you.”
My chest gives a pathetic little flutter at his words. As much as I want to be patient and see where this goes, those words are like crack to me. No matter how cool I try to play it, I want Rafe to be mine. For us to date openly and make a life together. “Please. I’m an absolute treasure.”
“As long as you think so.”
Knowing we’re heading home tomorrow, we stay up as late as possible that night. I hold him close as we stare into the fire, talking about the dumb shit we did as kids and filling each other in on college and how things have been since.
“I know it sounds dumb,” he says, voice low and relaxed. “I’m a grown man who should be able to stand up to my mom, but I don’t want to disappoint her. I feel like I’ve done that my whole life already by not being able to keep up with you.” He pauses to flick the pad of his thumb over my nail.
I hug my arms around him tighter. “There’s no way she’s disappointed. You’re amazing.”
“You have to say that.”
“Of course I don’t. Actually, it’s better that I don’t point out how perfect you are, because then you won’t know, and you’ll be fooled into staying with me.”
“I think I’ve already been drinking that Kool-Aid.”
I swear he says stuff like that to see how big he can make me smile. “All right, sweetheart, we need to hit the hay if we’re driving home tomorrow.”
He stretches his arms high. “What if we stayed here? Never went back, never had to worry about anything?”
“There’s one thing we’d have to worry about.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. Starvation. You are a terrible provider, Rafe.”
“Ten-dollar word.”
I frown. “I’m beginning to think we don’t know what that means.”
“We’ve never known what it means.” He laughs. “But like with everything, you started it, and I couldn’t resist.”
“That should be our relationship slogan.”
It’s the coldest night there yet, but instead of wearing clothes to bed, we pile on extra blankets and hold each other close. Even when we get back to Sunbury, I might have to ban clothes in bed because having his naked skin against mine is bliss.
Our drive home is relaxed but subdued. I let Rafe have this time, because I know he plans to tell his parents about the split as soon as he sees them.
My instinct to make him happy is so strong that I almost tell him he should do it in his own time, but I hold that in.
I meant what I said. I’ll never pressure him to come out, but I won’t be the other man, and if Rafe is serious about things being over, he needs to do it already.
Dragging things out doesn’t help anyone.
“Heading straight home?” I ask him as we head down O’Connell Road.
“Yeah. I’ll shower the stench of the outdoors off me, then …” He puffs out a breath. “Then I’ll go see Mom and Dad.”
“You sound like you’re heading for your execution,” I joke, trying to make him feel better.
“That might not be far from accurate.” There’s still a nervous note to his voice.
“I’m proud of you.”
That gets a bashful look. “I know you are.”
“Well, that’s all that matters, right? My high opinion?”
“You sure seem to think so.”
I chuckle as I pull up into my driveway. While it was great to have time to ourselves, the comfort of being home is strong after a few days away. “You’re sure you don’t need me to come with you?”
“Yeah.” He’s slow to unbuckle his seat belt. “One bomb at a time for them, I think. I’ll tell them today that I’ve broken up with her, then another day that I’m dating someone new. Less chance of a heart attack that way.”
“True. I’ll be here waiting for you when you’re done.”
We climb out, and Rafe grabs his bag from the back before closing the door and leaning against it. He’s looking down and playing with his keys when I approach him.
“What’s up?”
“I was just thinking …”
“About?”
He holds up a house key. “I have a big bath upstairs. Maybe I can run over and tell them quickly, then when I get back, we can have one together.”
“A bath?”
“Yep. We did slumming it with you, so now we can do luxury with me.”
“You got pretty-smelling stuff up there?”
He thinks for a minute and cringes. “Nothing that’s mine.”
“Yep, not touching that. Maybe I’ll run to the store while you’re gone.”
“Good idea.” Rafe hooks his finger through the belt loop in my pants and tugs me closer. “I wouldn’t say no to a decent dinner either.”
I laugh. “Pretty-smelling shit and yummy shit. My man clearly wants to be romanced.”
“I don’t think the words shit and romance in the same sentence have the effect you’re after.”
“Depends who you ask.”
His nose screws up. “Don’t want to think about that.”
“I hope you’re not kink shaming again, Rafe.”
“Never.” His face is still screwed up. “But that’s a definite no from me.”
“Oh yeah, me too. Just saying.”
“Good.” He still looks concerned about how quickly I took this conversation downhill when he leans in and kisses me. “You’ll definitely be here when I get back?”
“Promise.”
“Thanks. I think I’m gonna—”
“What the fuck?”
I jump at the sudden female voice and spring away from Rafe. He whips around, and we both stand there, staring at Laura, who’s matching our shocked expressions.
She recovers first. “What the hell is this?”
“It’s not what it—”
“Don’t you dare.” She levels me with a scowl and turns to Rafe.
“Laura, I—”
“You know what, save it.” Her shoulders draw up higher as she backs away from us and into the house.
“Shit,” Rafe mutters.
“You okay?”
“I’ve gotta …” He hauls his bag onto his shoulder and starts to jog toward his place.
“Want me to come?”
“No. No, I’ve got this.” The words are barely out when he bounds up the front steps and disappears inside.
I stand there and watch him chase after her, flashing back to countless times when we were younger and he did the same. Leaving where we were hanging out because she messaged, disappearing from parties because they were fighting, seeing them sneak out of events to go and hook up.
I remind myself this isn’t like those times. I remind myself they only broke up recently, so of course it was a shock for her. But … they only broke up recently.
Sure, Rafe said she wanted it to end as much as he did. He said they’ve been over for a while. But I’ve never actually heard those words come from Laura, so I have no idea if they’re the truth or what Rafe thinks is true.
I swallow past the lump that’s building in my chest and start to unpack the car.
He’s not going to get back with her.
Even if for some reason Laura wants him back, he wouldn’t … right?
Sure, he has every other time, but this isn’t like those times.
And if it is, well, there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.
Except wait.
It fucking sucks.
I’ve never been close with her, ever, because whenever Rafe chose her over anyone else, it always felt like she won.
Whenever I looked at her face, all I’d see was smugness looking back at me.
It hurt that Rafe put her first.
But dammit, I have to trust he’s not doing that this time.