19. EMMA
I’ve avoided Sterling all week. I know, it’s terrible. And very difficult to do in a town as small as ours, I might add. But I did it. I just didn’t know what to say to him yet. We need to talk but I’m not quite ready, so I hid behind texts.
I filled him on everything that’s happening this week. I know we are supposed to be doing this together, and I’m sure he wants to say that, but he doesn’t. He just keeps asking if there is anything he can do to help. I mean, this project started with him, so I get it.
But I just keep chickening out, saying that the girls and I have it handed. I tell him that we’ll connect today at the raffle to talk about the next steps.
Zoe, Mia and I collect the donations and come early to set up in the town square. It’s a perfect day. It’s warm but there’s a nice breeze, so it’s not too hot. People are already milling around but we’re not quite ready.
There’s always great traffic here because there’s a standing Saturday farmer’s market and craft fair and vendors and patrons show up early.
We continue setting up the long tables, or attempt to anyway. There’s some trick to getting them unlatched that we haven’t quite figured out at the moment, so they are all just lying on the ground.
I see Sterling pull into one of the parking spaces on the street.
As he gets out of his car, I find myself staring. His hair is a little messier than normal, and I can see his five o’clock shadow from here.
What is it about a man’s scruff? It’s never the full beard for me, just the start of it, that makes me want to touch it, particularly when we’re talking about Sterling. He grabs the money box that I asked him to bring from the back seat and Buddy jumps down when he opens the door. They both head our way.
I feel an elbow in my ribs. “Hey, you might want to stop drooling before he gets any closer,” Zoe jokes.
The pain breaks my gaze. “Ow. Was that really necessary?”
“Yep, totally. What’s that saying about catching flies or bees, something about honey? I don’t know. Just close your mouth, I can almost see your tonsils.”
I spin around quickly, fiddling more with the tables for another minute, to no avail. “Need some help?” Sterling’s deep voice warms my soul instantly.
“Oh, hey. I didn’t know you were here.” Nervous giggle. That was dumb. There’s no way I could have missed him. He parked right in front of us. Too late to take it back.
“Sure. These tables have become our nemesis. They refuse to cooperate.” I tell him.
Sterling leans down to take a look, and his scent washes over me. I don’t even know how to describe it. It’s like a signature blend all his own. It starts with citrusy soap, then moves on to a hint of the outdoors, including a bit of pine. Finally, there’s the faint sweet smell of puppy. I’m assuming that’s from Buddy.
I close my eyes and just breathe him in for a moment. Buddy takes that opportunity to lick my face. “Hey! I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Yep, he wanted in on the action. I couldn’t leave him behind.”
“I’m happy you brought him. He’s not limping anymore.” I say, excited at his recovery.
“Nope, all healed. He chases the ball and plays in the lake every day.”
I draw out a hmmmmm for dramatic effect.
“Seems you enjoy his company. I feel like someone might have mentioned that would be the case.”
He makes a show of bowing to me, while raising his hands up and down. “Oh, glorious one, you were so correct. I enjoy Buddy just as you predicted.”
I give him a gentle poke in the ribs. “Ok, that’s enough.” But it feels really good to joke with him. It helps break the tension. Buddy also helps. He makes every situation more fun.
“Got it.” Sterling says as the table pops open.
“Perfect, only about ten or so more to go,” I laugh.
“No problem, whatever you need,” he adds as he turns to tackle the next table. But I don’t miss the wink he gives me first.
Ok, butterflies, settle down in there.
I head back to Mia and Zoe, who both give me playful smirks. Clearly, they were watching the exchange between Sterling and me.
“Let’s get to work, ladies. Chop. Chop.”
They both salute me. “Yes, ma’am.”
We head to our cars and make trip after trip to bring tablecloths, accessories and all the raffle items back to the tables. Sterling does any job we asked him to do. He’s been quiet, but there’s no time to worry about that right now.
The sun is getting higher in the sky and although there are lots of large trees in the town square, it’s definitely starting to heat up. Hopefully, the breeze will come back soon.
Sterling glides a hand over my shoulder from behind, causing me to jump. “Oh, sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” He didn’t. I just have no resistance to his touch.
“I just wanted to see if there was anything else you needed before the raffle starts. Or which spot I can man with my trusty pal here.” Buddy looks up at us. I swear it seems like he’s smiling sometimes. He just loves being around people.
I regain my wits and tell my body to calm down before I answer. “So, what about selling the actual raffle tickets at the front. Since the girls and I collected the items, we know a bit more about each one.”
Sterling’s head droops a bit. Now I feel terrible for mentioning it. It really should have been us getting the items together instead of doing it with Mia and Zoe. But as I mentioned, I was being a coward.
I won’t let it happen again, though. After today, we have to find a way to make this working together thing happen. This project is ours. We started it and we need to finish it.
“No, problem. Come on, Buddy.” Sterling turns to go, but I can’t take the look on his face. I grab his hand.
“Wait.” He whips around, but those dark eyes. I can’t concentrate when he looks at me that way. He holds my gaze, practically begging me to say something. I feel my throat closing up, but I push through. This has gone on long enough.
“How about we take a walk later, maybe a lunch break and… talk?”
He squeezes my hand and breaks into a genuine smile, which of course activates his dimples. I’m melting inside. “That sounds great. Looking forward to it. Come on, Buddy.”
They walk to the front to take their positions. An empty feeling invades me as soon as they leave.
Mia, Zoe, and I position ourselves between all the tables, making sure we’re available in case anyone has questions about the items. Each table has fishbowls in front of the items for the tickets.
We’re saving most of the really high-ticket items for the silent auction but there are still lots of great options here. There’s gift baskets and gift cards, framed photographs from local artists, and books donated by the bookstore.
Mia made some amazing muffins, cookies, and doughnuts for the event. And she also offered five vouchers for free wedding cakes. That should really get the tickets rolling in. I knew I could count on her.
We also have some small appliances from the hardware store, patio furniture from the garden center, and free massages from the spa.
The businesses who donated large items even delivered for us. Everyone is doing their part. It’s busy from the moment it starts, with a steady stream of residents coming in. But there are also lots of people I don’t know, which means we did a great job getting the word out to the surrounding towns.
Every once in a while, I sneak a glance to the front at Sterling. He’s being very social and putting on his best grin to everyone. I know he’s out of his comfort zone, so it warms my heart the effort he”s putting in.
He suddenly looks my way like he could feel my eyes on him.
He’s been flashing charming smiles to the people he’s been selling tickets to, but this particular smile… I’ve seen it before. This smile is reserved solely for me.
Around noon, the traffic slows down. People are obviously breaking for lunch. I ask Mia if she’ll relieve Sterling, and I ask Zoe to handle the tables here. They both agree.
I watch Mia talk to Sterling and then point in my direction. His eyes light up. Buddy follows behind him as he comes my way.
I hold up the small cooler I brought. “How about a quick break?”
“Sure.”
We walk to the far end of the square and find a spot under the canopy of a large oak trees. I take out sandwiches and some drinks.
“Ham? Turkey? What’s your pleasure?” I see him stifle a comeback by biting his lip. I quickly realize the error in my wording.
“What I meant say is, ‘Which type of sandwich would you enjoy eating?’”
“Turkey, please.” His eyes are still twinkling.
He throws a few chunks to Buddy, who greedily gobbles them up, then sits patiently waiting for more. This is clearly a learned behavior. Mr. Softy has been feeding him table scraps. Hmm, I may have to change his nickname.
“So, I wanted to apologize. I should have responded to your text right away. I wanted to—”
“But Peter… He told you about Celia,” he cuts in.
“How did you know?”
“He invited me over for dinner last week. I thought he wanted to let me have it, but we ended up having a really good talk. He said he told you about her.”
I let out all the breath I’ve clearly been holding. “Yes, it just really took me by surprise. I couldn’t believe you had a fiancée that I didn’t know about. I know we hadn’t talked in quite a few years, but that was quite the shock.”
He nods his head. “I’m sure it was. I didn’t really have chance to tell you about it, but I would have.”
“I know.”
He takes my hands in his, tracing the lines of my palms. “You can trust me, Emma, I promise. I’ll never keep anything from you.”
No one has ever taken my hands like that before. He’s so gentle, and he has such a delicate touch that speaks volumes and cuts straight to my heart. I almost don’t want to respond and distract him from what he’s doing, but I have to.
“I’m.” I hesitate. “I’m just not ready. Peter said I was rushing into this after my breakup and maybe he’s right. We need to back off a little.”
He immediately releases my hands. Darn it, that’s what I was afraid of. But I can’t play both sides.
“It’s fine,” he answers but looks hurt.
“Sterling.”
“No, really, it’s okay. You’re worth waiting for. It’s been twenty years, so what’s a little more time? I’ll be right here when you’re ready.”
He brushes the hair off my forehead, then kisses it softly before standing. He motions to Buddy who follows him back to the raffle.
It takes everything inside me not to call him back.