6. Beau
6
BEAU
I t takes remarkable effort not to rip my hair from my scalp as I watch Marley close the door to the bridal suite behind her. I just fucked up so hard. It’s like I took all my plans for our future and threw them out the car window while driving eighty down the freeway.
Crash and burn.
I curse under my breath, spinning on my heel to head toward my room. On second thought, I should check in on the guys, make sure Isaac, Andrew’s best friend, is doing his job and not letting Andrew get too drunk.
I head down to the opposite end of the hall, hearing the rambunctious laughter of my brothers and friend. I knock on the door, and like a group of teens, they shush each other, before one of them stumbles to the door, loudly.
The door flies open, and Thomas is the one to greet me. His eyes are glazed. “Little bro!” he nearly shouts, smiling like a lunatic, showing me the gap in his teeth. I shush him, glancing behind me, worried someone is in the hall.
“Dude, we’re in a hotel, you gotta be quiet.”
“Pffft,” he scoffs. “We aren’t that loud. It’s just ‘cause you’re standing right next to me.”
“Right,” I murmur, sidestepping him into the suite. The three men—Andrew, our brother Jason, and Andrew’s friend Isaac—sit on the floor cross-legged in a small circle, a pile of poker chips and cash in the middle of them.
“Shhhhh,” Thomas hisses. He pushes around me, nearly throwing himself onto the floor as the heavy door falls closed with a slam .
I pinch the bridge of my nose, thankful they aren’t completely shitfaced, just happy drunk. Isaac seems to be the only sober one.
Well, besides me.
I sit down next to him, offering him a chin tip. I spot Jason across the circle, catching him laughing at Thomas as he flops back down onto the floor.
It’s been a while since I’ve seen Jason let loose like this, probably since before the birth of his daughter, Lennie. Being a single dad has been hard on him, but he’s done it amazingly, all while starting up his own brewery.
My heart rate is finally starting to slow after the near kiss with Marley. I use the bed behind me as a back rest, sitting diagonally and crossing my legs in front of me. All the other guys are in t-shirts and sweats, or basketball shorts, while I’m still in my suit from the rehearsal dinner.
“Beau, my man, where have you been?” Andrew asks, his words slurring ever so slightly.
“Just helping Marley with a few things downstairs,” I answer, taking the beer Isaac offers me. It doesn’t really look like they’re actively playing poker, more so getting distracted with every turn of hand.
Andrew’s brows twist in displeasure. “You know, I really don’t get you two,” he mutters.
“What do you mean?” I ask, though I know what he’s talking about.
“You’re obviously meant to be together. Obviously in love with each other. Why not make it official? I love Marley, like a sister of course, but fuck man, you are hurting her.”
Irritation flares in my chest. “Don’t you think I know that, Andrew?” I spit. I instantly regret it when his face falls. I sigh. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. That was uncalled for.”
Andrew’s smirk returns. “You know I love riling you up man.”
I scoff. “Yeah, I know.”
“I don’t get it though. I’ve let it slide for as long as I have because I know it hurts you, but I’m not going to, not anymore. If it weren’t for Marley, who knows if I ever would have found my girl, and the thought of letting Josie go, and watching her live life, maybe with some other dude, makes me physically ill. I love her so much. So why are you purposefully doing this to yourself? Is it this other girl that none of us have met? Is she really that special if we’ve never met her?” He finishes his speech, taking another drink of his half empty beer.
Jason pipes in from across the circle. “He’s right, you know. How come we’ve never met your girlfriend?”
The irritation rises in me again, and I know that it’s not fair to them, they don’t know, but I can’t help but shut them out, shut everyone out. It’s easier than feeling right now, and I don’t have the capacity to deal with it. I need to change the subject, but I at least need to give them something so they get off my back.
“I’m only going to say this once, and then we are taking the focus off me. This weekend isn’t about me.” I glare at my brothers and Isaac. They nod eagerly.
I fidget with my fingers. “I don’t have a girlfriend. I did, for about six months, though I’m not sure you could even call her that. She was a distraction. I’ve been single since around the time you and Josie got engaged, Andrew.” His eyes widen at my confession. “I've been told before that I’m not right for Marley, and I’m not about to go through that again. Got it?” I scan their faces, watching as one by one, nod.
Andrew’s eyes are glassy as he presses his hand to his chest. “Oh my god. If I wasn’t marrying the girl of my dreams tomorrow, this might be the best night of my life.” He pauses, scratching at his scruff. “No, scratch that, the night that Josie and I fu-”
“Annnnd, you’re done,” Isaac interrupts, taking the beer from his grasp.
Andrew bursts into laughter. “Just saying, this is awesome. Marley’s finally going to be my real sister, after all these years.”
I shake my head. “Don’t say things like that. I just said I don’t want to be told again that I’m not right for her. I can’t lose her.”
“You’re not going to,” Jason says. His face is serious, all traces of humor from earlier gone. “I won’t push this anymore, we’ve pushed it for years, but the two of you… It’s time for you to be together. It’s either that, or lose her to someone else.”
The thought alone makes me nauseous. Yeah, I’ve seen her with guys through the years, just like I’ve been with girls, but that was when I was fighting tooth and nail to deny my feelings. I’m done with that now, and if what she wants isn’t me, I’ll have to respect that.
I won’t like it, but I will do whatever I can to keep her in my life.