Chapter 6
Six
I was wrong.
I wasn’t ready.
My whole system lit up as soon as I laid eyes on him.
My lungs froze. I couldn’t make them work.
He stood from his chair at the other end of an eight-seat dining table–the only thing in the room besides the chandelier overhead.
His eyes…oh fuck, his eyes. They poured into me, gorging themselves on my mouth, my hair, my calves, the rapid rise and fall of my breasts, the thick sheen of tears that filled my eyes.
“Lo.” His voice poured through me, a syrup so thick I could taste my need for him on my tongue.
A strange, tinny sound met my ears and I followed it, recognising it.
The familiar chords were imprinted deep on my soul and I would know them anywhere.
I looked around the room, following the sound, tracing it to a pair of headphones belonging to a dark-suited man standing with his back to the wall, wearing Elliot’s trademark stoic expression.
I swept the room and counted four men, two on one side, two on the other, each of them looking at nothing whilst Vivaldi blared into their ear drums.
“They’re a part of my security team.” Alfie spoke and I flicked my gaze back to him, forcing my mask into place despite my heart feeling like it was about to beat out of my chest. “They’ve been instructed to prevent me from touching or approaching you in any way.”
I stared at him, barely stifling a laugh. Two years and he was still crazy.
“If you can’t trust yourself to stay in control then maybe I shouldn’t be here.” I was surprised at the strength in my voice.
“I trust myself but I know that you don’t trust me. Would you like me to dismiss them?” I paused at his question, or rather, at the notion that he was giving me a choice. I’d come here prepared for battle and this had caught me off guard.
“No. They should stay.”
He gave me a curt nod then said nothing, only watched me, waiting for me to make my next move. Those steel greys pierced me in a way that made me ache.
Move your feet, Lola. Move your fucking feet.
After a moment, they cooperated and I took a seat opposite Alfie, with three chairs’ length of a table between us.
I wondered why the long table. Was the distance for my benefit or his?
Whatever the reason, I was grateful for it.
A glass of wine and a glass of water sat in front of me.
I chose the water, needing to be in full possession of my faculties.
He sat too, his eyes still fixed on me. “You’re thinner than last I saw you.”
I stifled a shiver as his voice smoothed over me like butter. I’d missed it. I steeled my bending spine and met his gaze head on. “Blueberry muffins are expensive in London.”
He stifled a smile, struggling with it as if those muscles were rusted.
We paused again, gazing at each other. I could feel him drinking me in, the way he used to.
Assessing and dissecting every part of me.
But he wasn’t the only one who could do that now.
At a glance, he was perfect, but my eyes knew him well and I saw the truth.
The faint circles under his eyes, the lines that hadn’t been there before.
The tick in his jaw. His mask wasn’t quite as secure as it used to be.
“This is your show, Lola.”
“This was never my show, Alfie.” I expected some kind of retort but it didn’t come. Instead, Alfie paused, mulling over my words.
“Things change. People change too.” His voice broke a little and he took a long sip of water.
I studied him–Riley had been right. Alfie was not okay.
The cracks were showing now, but it wasn’t my problem.
I couldn’t let it be. Not again. I was not responsible for fixing Alfie Tell. “Are you hungry?”
“You already know the answer to that,” I said, making sure to keep my tone even. He gave me a wry smile.
“You’re too nervous to eat. You’ll snack when you get home, leftover pizza maybe, or cereal.”
“Yep. Still creepy,” I muttered, not missing the lift at the corner of his mouth. The faint notes of Vivaldi teased our silence, sitting on the periphery of our growing tension. I should be unnerved at four strange men being witness to this, but in truth, Alfie was all I could see. I hated it.
“Why did you decide to come?”
“You know the answer to that too,” I said, my mask not budging an inch.
“Closure.” Closure. I didn’t know what that meant. What kind of closure could he give–the man that had tried to force a pregnancy on me?
“Yes, for you. I don’t want you hurting, Alfie.”
Alfie let out a very un-Alfie like snort. “Riley really ran a good guilt trip on you.”
“Don’t take this out on him.”
“I won’t, don’t worry.”
I narrowed my eyes. Was he telling the truth?
“He’s my friend, I wouldn’t do that, Lola.
” I didn’t bother pointing out that I had been his girlfriend and it hadn’t stopped him hurting me.
His mention of Riley brought a fresh wave of worry over me.
Did Alfie know Riley was Ryan’s father? If he did, was he going to use that to his advantage somehow?
I stilled, trying not to let my fears show. Another silence fell over us as I tried to figure out where to take us next. I went to the most important place first.
“I’m assuming you know that Elliot came clean about what happened with Adam.
” My voice cracked on his name and Alfie caught it, wincing.
He nodded. “I need you to tell me what happened.” He hesitated and I prepared myself to gouge the information out of him.
I was surprised when the words came freely.
“Do you remember our first date, when I took you to L’Amour?
” he asked and I nodded. Of course I did.
“It was the first time you told me about Adam. After that, I had Elliot dig into him. It turns out, you weren’t the only girl he was…
persistent with. He’d been arrested on rape charges about six months before you and I met.
The charges didn’t stick, lack of evidence, but I believe they were true.
” My mouth ran dry as I processed his words.
“He raped someone?”
“A female colleague.”
My stomach roiled. That had almost been me. Could I have prevented it? If I’d tried harder with the police, if I’d done something, anything? But what more could I have done? I’d been to the police station to try to file a restraining order but had gotten nowhere.
Has he assaulted you? No. Has he threatened you? No. Is he stalking you? Kind of. He just shows up at my workplace, leaves notes on my car and gifts on my doorstep, that sort of thing. So…you’re upset because he gives you too many gifts?
That was what it had boiled down to. I remembered wishing that he would do something worse so I could at least have some evidence for the police. But he took that ‘something worse’ and threw it at someone else…because he couldn’t take it out on me.
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“I know that,” I snapped and instantly regretted it.
I didn’t know what riled me more, hearing my own thoughts spoken out loud or the fact that Alfie could still read me so easily.
I’d hoped that power would have faded with time, but I guess that had been foolish of me.
I took a calming breath, reigning my emotions in so I presented a smooth exterior to Alfie. I motioned for him to continue.
“I wanted to put a team on you immediately but I knew you would hate that so I held off. That was my mistake.” He sat quiet for a moment, I could see the memory of my bruised cheek and torn shirt in his eyes.
“After he attacked you I had him under 24-hour watch and what my team saw him doing had them concerned…” He trailed off and I prepared myself to drag information out of him like I used to, but once again, he spoke without my prodding.
“Elliot informed me that Adam was making certain arrangements. He believed that he was planning to attack you again, to hurt you seriously this time. He had rope, plastic sheeting?—”
“Stop.” I bit the word out, unable to hear anymore.
I didn’t need all the details. Alfie sat in silence.
Before, he would be on me by now. Before, he wouldn’t have had any conversation with Adam’s name in it at all.
I looked up at him as he sat patiently, waiting.
He wasn’t pushing, wasn’t manipulating the conversation or hiding truths.
It was unnerving. I nodded at him to continue.
“I instructed Elliot not to take any further action. I had a team with you to keep you safe and planned to have you out of the country by the end of the week. Unfortunately, Adam moved quicker than we thought.” He took a sip of his water, his eyes never leaving my face.
They hadn’t wavered from me since the second I stepped into the room.
“Encouraged by too much alcohol, he took a knife and went to your home. Elliot watched him scope out your house, expecting that once he realised you weren’t there he would leave.
But Adam hadn’t gone there for you. Elliot watched him wait until your nephew was in bed.
While your sister was upstairs he tried to get in through an unlocked kitchen window.
Elliot realised then that he was planning to attack your sister, I suppose out of frustration that he couldn’t get to you.
Elliot was done with the warnings. Before Adam could get through the window he came up behind him and broke his neck.
He took his body back to his house and staged the accident. The rest you know.”
I sat there in stunned silence. Adam had planned to hurt my sister. I had brought that monster into our lives. What was wrong with me? Why did I attract crazy people?