Chapter 37
Thirty-Seven
I found Keira perched on the wall, legs dangling over the edge. I sat next to her, my back to the ocean and slipped my hand into hers.
She was quiet for a while, lost in her thoughts before she finally spoke. “My parents are a pair of shits.”
“That is not new information.” It was harsh but true. Keira’s parents had treated her like crap more times than I could count but she’d always laughed it off and moved on, even if the barbs had still stung. Today was different. “They embarrassed you in front of Damien.”
I felt her stiffen next to me, her pride wounded. She didn’t like me knowing she cared what Damien thought of her. “I just don’t need him seeing my weak spots.”
I didn’t respond, only bit my lip, trying not to laugh.
She side-eyed me. “What?”
“You won’t like it.”
“Tell me anyway.”
Okay, she’d asked for it. “You remind me of Alfie sometimes.” She gave me an incredulous look. “The raging sense of inadequacy, the promiscuity, the stony exterior, the walls so high that no one is getting up there.”
She snorted. “Plus we’re both gorgeous.”
“Did you just pay Alfie a compliment?” I gasped dramatically.
“I guess the creep is growing on me.”
“And Damien?” I asked. “He growing on you too?”
“Yeah,” she deadpanned, “like a fungus.”
I burst out laughing and despite herself, she was biting back a smile too. “You ever consider that maybe the reason you’re so pickled over him is because he can hold his own against you?” I studied her profile, her lips forming an anxious pout. “What is it?”
“He looks at me sometimes, like how Alfie looks at you when you aren’t looking. Like he’s really seeing me…like I matter.”
My stomach twisted. “You’ve always mattered!”
“Yeah, to you. Not to anyone else. My parents couldn’t care less and everyone else, they only like having me around as long as I’m entertaining.
” Her free hand twisted in the fold of her dress, her other hand clenched in mine, her palm beginning to sweat.
Tension was emanating off her as she forced vulnerable words between clenched teeth.
“Keira...”
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” She swivelled, hopping off the wall she headed for our villa. I followed her, calling her name but she kept walking.
“I’m fine, Lo. We can talk later,” she snapped as she hurried up the stairs.
“We can talk now!” I called after her but her only response was a heavy huff as she stalked into her room. I followed her and gave her a shove. She let out a half-scream as she fell on the bed. I dived on top of her, straddling her hips so she couldn’t budge.
“Get off me, you nut!”
“Keira.” I grabbed her face, forcing her to look at me.
“I’m sorry your parents are idiots. I’m sorry that guys treat you like a slut just because you like to enjoy your body.
Damien isn’t like that. He doesn’t judge you, he walks that line just like you, he’s cut from the same smutty cloth as you are! ”
“So? I don’t even like him!” she yelled, her dark eyes full of fear and hurt.
“Bullshit.”
Her chest heaved with frustration, trembling with the effort of keeping herself together. “He’s going to hurt me, I can feel it.” Her voice cracked.
“Yeah, and you’ll probably hurt him too.” I eased up, softening. “Fear is a wave, you have to learn to ride it.”
She blinked, narrowing her eyes at me. “Who said that?”
“Who do you think?” I grinned as realisation dawned on her face.
“Ew. I hate that. Get off of me.” She shoved me and I fell onto the bed beside her, giggling. “Just so you know, you have my blessing. With Alfie, I mean.”
“Even though he was a shit to you the first time we were together? He told me that you went to see him at Harrington once, before we fought.”
“He told you that?”
“Yeah, I’m just wondering why you didn’t.”
“Didn’t see the point. We fought the same day and then we weren’t exactly on speaking terms. Then you two broke up. I didn’t want to rub salt in the wound, I suppose.”
My best friend was too good to me. She could have brought it up any time to further drive a wedge between Alfie and I but she hadn’t, she’d given me room to forgive him despite how much he’d hurt her.
“What did he say to you back then?”
“The specifics aren’t important. He just read me like a fucking book, picked up on my insecurities, twisted them, made me doubt myself, our friendship.” She stared up at the ceiling, brows knotted. “The man is a fucking psycho. Or he was anyway.”
She wasn’t wrong. When I think back on how manipulative Alfie was back then, it frightened me. It was easy to forget that he still had the capacity to be that way.
“I’m sorry he did that to you.”
“I’m not. Not now anyway. It didn’t make sense to me then how you couldn’t see what he was like but now I think I get it. He got into my head in five minutes and made me doubt a friendship I’d had for twenty years. I can’t imagine what it was like having him messing with you all the time.”
“He wasn’t always messing with me,” I said quietly. “Sometimes he was real and now he’s…now I barely recognise him most of the time.” I looked at her. “I don’t want to be with someone you hate.”
“I don’t hate him anymore. I don’t trust him, I don’t know that I’ll ever like him, but I can see he’s changed. If you want him, go for it, and if he breaks you again I’ll be there to pick up the pieces.”
“Thank you but I don’t think it’ll be necessary this time. I’ve changed so much, Keira. I’m stronger now, smarter. I know I can survive without him. Do you think it’s time I let him back in?”
She was silent for a moment, her sweet face unusually serious. “I think he’s always been yours and you never stopped being his.”
She was right. Deep down in my bones, I knew she was right.
I might be stronger now and smarter, I might be able to survive him, move on to a new relationship with a new man if I had to but a part of me, a vital part of me would always belong to Alfie Tell and a part of him would always belong with me, a piece of shrapnel in my chest.
But those weren’t thoughts for now, for right now, I just wanted to be with my best friend because she had a part of me too and I had a part of her.
I’d left our friendship behind two and a half years ago, let it get lost while I got swept up in Alfie’s storm.
I’d promised her that wouldn’t happen again and it wasn’t a difficult promise to keep.
Alfie Tell made me feel things that no one else ever had, but Keira Larson was always going to be my favourite person in the world.
I squeezed her hand, offering her a smile. “Wanna go sunbathe and not think about boys anymore?”
She gave me a wide grin, her serious expression vanishing. “Yes please.”
Keira and I spent the day on the beach, I under an umbrella and smothered in sunscreen, Keira, star fishing under the grecian sun as if she was Alectrona herself.
Over the course of the afternoon, I felt my best friend come back to me, our connection slotting back into place as the demons that had taunted her over the last few weeks faded away, at least for a while.
We cheered Maia when she approached with a tray of mojitos and it was Keira who insisted she stay when she tried to excuse herself. I sipped my drink, gazing out at the sea, wondering if Alfie was still out there on The Isabella .
Keira and Maia chatted beside me and I stayed quiet, giving them room to bond without Maia using me as a buffer.
I wondered if our closeness had always been intimidating to her, perhaps she’d felt she couldn’t be a part of our friendship.
She might never be as close as Keira and I were, but something about having her here felt right.
She was a good balance between us and her shyness gave way to a dry humour that bounced well off Keira.
That night, we went out for dinner to celebrate our last night here. I wore the same pale blue dress that Alfie liked so much.
Hours later, full, happy and a little tipsy, we arrived back at our piece of paradise. Maia slurred a goodnight as she headed up to her room. Keira giggled as she tripped on the stairs. I tucked an arm under hers and helped her up to her own room where she flopped onto her bed in a heap.
“Lo? She pushed up onto her elbows. “You’re not going to bed are you?”
“Yeah, unless you want to stay up and watch something?”
“No, I might have made other plans though. For you, I mean.” She nodded her head at the window. I narrowed my eyes in suspicion and rushed across the room to see The Isabella pulling into the dock.
My heart began to pound the way it always did when Alfie was nearby. I’d seen him this morning, but already it felt like an age, his absence leaving an ache I felt everywhere.
“Keira…what?”
“I called him, told him to get you.”
I spun, staring at my best friend. “Why?”
“I’m trying to be supportive.” She struggled into a sitting position, looking like she was doing her best to be serious despite the Ouzo.
“Thank you for helping me figure shit out the last few days but I don’t need you to babysit me tonight.
We’re in Greece, it’s romantic, he’s a billionaire with a big boat?—”
“A superyacht.”
“Whatever.” She waved a hand. “My point is, you can go be with him tonight, if you want to.”
I went to her, wrapping my arms around her warm, familiar body. “Thank you.”