Chapter 38
Thirty-Eight
A lfie met me on the dock, his jacket, tie and waistcoat missing from his attire, leaving him in just grey slacks and a white shirt.
“Hey baby.” He smiled, waiting until I reached for him before he wrapped an arm around my waist, pressing a kiss to my cheek. “I love that blue on you. I’m going to buy you a hundred dresses in that colour.”
I hopped on board The Isabella, following Alfie into the cockpit where Elliot greeted us, steering the yacht away from the dock.
In the lounge I paused, immediately kicking off my shoes like it was a second home. Alfie eyed my discarded shoes with a small smile and all of a sudden I felt strangely self-conscious. Was tonight the night? Did he expect it? What if?—
“Hey.” Alfie stepped into my space, jolting me out of my spiralling thoughts.
“Nothing happens until you say so.” He reached up a hand, letting it hover near my cheek, not touching, not without permission.
I sighed, leaning into his touch. I let my walls slip down and allowed him in, relishing in his comfort.
Where once he was a cold, hard statue, now he was a fire, not raging out of control, but a steady blaze in a home hearth. A hearth I could build my life around, could be warmed by when I needed it, could rest and eat at every day. He was my safety, my home.
“Come on, I have a surprise.”
“Another one?”
“Well, less of a surprise and more of a do over.”
Curious, I followed him to the lower deck, down one passageway and then another until we arrived at the cinema room. Instead of typical theatre seating, there were ample plush chairs and sofas littered with luxurious blankets and giant cushions.
A tub of ice cream sat on a table next to a sofa so large it could serve as a bed. I stood, watching as Alfie picked up a remote. The screen lit up and I started to laugh as the opening scene of Die Hard started to play. Now his do over comment made sense.
“Alfie, not that I mind but why the do over?”
He shrugged. “We didn’t get to watch the film last time.”
“Right, because you decided to make ice cream a part of our foreplay.”
He smiled a dark, delicious smile that told me he was remembering in exquisite detail exactly how he’d undone me the last time we’d attempted this. “Well, this time it’s just for eating.” He sat, pulling the tub towards him.
I stared at him. “You’re actually going to eat ice cream?”
“Yes.”
“Who are you?”
“I’m yours.” He glanced up at me, his gaze as clear and open as the sea we sailed on. He unfastened his cufflinks and tossed them onto the table. I shuddered remembering the things he’d done to me with those cufflinks. In fact they looked just like?—
“They’re the same ones,” he said, my breath catching as I caught his meaning. They were the same pair he’d used to clamp my nipples with. “I never wear any other kind now.”
Unfastening the buttons he rolled up his sleeves to tuck into his ice cream, revealing a bright blue ribbon, worn and frayed, tied around his wrist.
Alfie…
Right there, in that moment, something clicked into place, a knowledge that I was exactly where I was supposed to be…and I was ready. For everything. I was ready to jump.
Alfie gave me a questioning look. “Are you going to sit?”
“I—”
“Sir?” A man appeared, lean and with a dignified tilt to his chin, so quiet I hadn’t noticed him. “Mr Wood asked me to inform you that we will be anchoring shortly.”
“Thank you, Miles. Lola, this is Miles, he’s the head steward of The Isabella , if you need anything while you’re here just ask him. Miles, this is Lola O’Connell.”
I smiled at the man and offered my hand. He blinked in surprise before taking it. “Good to meet you, Madam.”
“You too and please call me Lola.” I paused, a thought occurring to me. “Actually, can you help me with something?”
“Of course.”
“Great.” I gestured to the door and he took the hint that this was a private matter. I turned to see a very worried Alfie looking at me.
“I’ll be right back.”
He nodded but as I turned away I saw his hand reach for the ribbon, rubbing it the way I did my necklace.
In the hallway, Miles was ever the professional as he showed me to Alfie’s quarters so I could find what I wanted. In the en suite, I changed quickly and let down my hair. I looked at myself in the mirror, feeling oddly self-conscious, but I knew Alfie would like it.
I was about to rush back to him when I spotted the shaving kit next to the sink. Without thinking, I opened it and took out the scissors. I picked up my dress and a moment later, I held two strips of pale blue ribbon in my hand, cut from the hem.
My nerves awash with excitement, I hurried back to the cinema room.
I found Alfie scowling at the ice cream, one hand still wearing away at the worn out ribbon. The movie off and the screen in standby, displaying a dark night sky.
Alfie’s gaze heated as he took in my bare legs and the thin cotton of his t-shirt on my body.
“I hope you don’t mind me wearing one of your shirts.”
He swallowed, nodding. I sat next to him, tucking my feet under me. I took his wrist, reaching for the knot of the ribbon but he snatched his arm away. “What are you doing?”
I held up the other pieces of ribbon. “I cut you new pieces from my other dress that you love.”
I expected him to be grateful but he shook his head. “I want to keep this one.”
My chest ached but I forced myself to smile. “You’ll get it back.”
Reluctantly he allowed me to remove the ribbon.
He watched my every move as I knotted the pieces together, as if I might suddenly throw his precious ribbon into the ocean.
A few minutes later, I returned it to his wrist, braided with the two new pieces.
He ran his fingers over it, studying it as if it were an alien artifact.
“I’m yours too,” I whispered. His head shot up, he stared at me in shock. “I think I’ve always been yours and you’ve always been mine.”
“Lola, what are you saying?” His grey eyes were shining with hope.
I took a deep breath, preparing myself to leap.
“I’m saying that there’s so much between us, so much still to heal and get through but I’m tired, I’m tired of keeping myself away.
” I wrapped my arms around my torso, holding myself tight, then I realised I didn’t have to hold onto myself, I could hold onto him.
I slipped my hand into his, gripping it as I jumped.
“I want you back. I want this man that you’ve shown me over the last few weeks. I want him and he’s real, isn’t he? This is really you?”
“Yes.” His voice was hoarse, almost breathless. He gazed at me in the dark, shock and fear plain on his perfect face.
I reached up, tracing the scar on his eyebrow, running my fingers down his cheek and into his hair. This man was a million different things, some of them I liked and some of them I didn’t but all of him was mine. Alfie Tell belonged to me.
“Lola, are you sure?”
No, I wasn’t. I was afraid of the jump, afraid of the pain, but of Alfie I was certain. He would catch me, every time.
“Kiss me,” I breathed. “Kiss me like you kiss me.”
His eyes shone, tears resting on the surface. Slowly, as if I might disappear, he drew me to him. My breath hitched. He was close, so, so close after all this time. I melted into him as his mouth met mine, heated and soft. My entire body lit up, every nerve ending singing with pleasure.
Alfie, my Alfie, was in my arms again. Right where he belonged.
I pulled him to me and he met my passion with a fierceness kept buried for so long. He turned us, pushing me onto my back on the bed of plush cushions and blankets.
I opened my legs for him, drawing him in and he didn’t hesitate. He pressed close, his erection pressing into my aching core pulling a delicious moan from my throat.
I was ready, I was so ready.
With needy hands I clutched at his shirt, ripping it in my desperation. He rose up, pulling it from his body and I followed, kissing his torso until his mouth found mine again and we fell back onto the blankets.
He pushed my shirt up, skin on skin I shuddered, my core wet and throbbing. I ground against him, needing him inside me with a madness I had never felt before.
His hands roamed, my thighs, my waist, his head dipping to my neck where he sucked and nipped until I cried out and he kissed the bite away. I shuddered, smiling. This was perfect, so perfect I felt tears in my eyes. One slipped down my cheek, brushing against his own.
He paused, staring down at me. “Lo? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, I’m just so happy.” I smiled up at him. He flinched, his brows knotting. I brought him back to me, his mouth met mine but his kisses were different, distracted. I pulled back and studied him. “Hey…are you here?” I cupped his cheek, wondering where he’d just gone.
“Lola, I…” he trailed off, his jaw clenching. Conflict shone in every corner of his beautiful face, conflict over whether to speak or not speak. “I have to tell you something?—”
A knock at the door interrupted him. He pulled away, leaving me cold and confused as he went to answer the door. I heard Elliot’s voice and a moment later, Alfie returned, his face an expressionless mask. “I have a business issue to deal with.”
“A business issue? Now?” Was he serious? He couldn’t be.
“I’m sorry, I know it’s inconvenient.”
“‘ Inconvenient’? ” What the hell had gotten into him?
“Enjoy the film and the ice cream, I’ll see you in the morning.” He turned to leave but I leapt up, grabbing his hand.
“Why are you dodging me?” My stomach turned, fear pooling there that another tsunami wave of pain might be coming for me all over again.
“I’m not, I’m just…” he trailed off, the struggle to find the right words clear to see.
Alfie was still getting used to open communication, I watched him fight the urge to shut me out like he once would have done.
He took a breath and released it. “I’m just overwhelmed.
I didn’t realise until just now that I never actually thought this would happen. ”
“What do you mean? You wanted this, you?—”
“Yes, I hoped and I dreamed but I never actually thought you would come back to me, at least not this soon. Now that you have, I…” His words failed him again and I searched his face, desperate to find the trouble hidden there.
He straightened, looking down at me. “Lo, this means everything. I want to do it right.”
“This feels pretty right to me,” I whispered, my own voice cracking.
His expression softened and he reached up to cup my face, drawing me in. “You’re perfect. It’s me that’s not. Let me deal with this, okay?”
I studied him, trying to understand. Was he not ready? Had I caught him off guard and sent him spiralling? Maybe. Whatever the issue, it seemed tonight was not the night for us.
Reluctantly, I nodded. “Okay, but come back to my bed tonight, I don’t want to wake up alone.”
“I promise.” He pressed his lips to mine, a sweet apology. “Enjoy the ice cream.”
I nodded and let him go. “Alfie?” I said suddenly, he paused in the doorway, turning to me. “I’m your girl, right?”
His gaze heated, his bare chest heaving. “Always.”