Chapter 18 #2
“The scent in your house,” I said, remembering how the smell had hit me when I’d walked in. “The candles you had lining the staircase…It was lilies right?”
“Yes. She died, before you ask. She didn’t leave me.
” He stared into his glass for a few moments, moments where I couldn’t say a word.
All I could do was feel a sudden depth of sorrow for him.
When he looked at me, for once I didn’t see a man playing games or trying to fuck, I just saw a man whose heart was still broken.
Who came to this place night after night, looking for something he couldn’t get back.
“You remind me of her. She wasn’t from this world either, or meant for it. Like you.”
“You don’t think I’m meant for this?”
He gave me a sad smile. “I don’t think you’ll be coming back.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t come back here anymore either. I don’t think you’ll find your new love here.”
“Darling, that’s the point. No one here is looking for love, which works out just right as I have none to offer.”
I felt Alfie squeeze my thigh and I realised his conversation with Damien was over. In fact, Damien had disappeared altogether. He was across the room, receiving a dance from a burlesque-dressed woman who bore a startling resemblance to my best friend.
“Are you ready?” He was asking me so much more than that and not for the first time tonight, my skin heated all over.
Still processing everything Kal had just told me, I stood, my core clenching as that thing moved inside me.
Kal stood and kissed my cheek goodbye. “Have fun. Listen to Alfie. He’ll take care of you.”
I left them behind and followed Alfie out into the noise. Gone was the quiet seduction of the darkened burlesque performance. Out here, the rich and famous had come to play and they were playing. Hard.
“You and Kal seemed cosy,” he said as we walked. I glanced up, relieved to see the look on his face was more amused than anything. He hated what Kal and I had done together but it seemed he trusted both of us enough not to be threatened.
“He isn’t obsessed with my best friend like Damien, he isn’t permanently in a bad mood like Eli and he’s saner than Cas.
He told me I should have fun and trust you because you’ll look after me and—” I froze mid-step, my eyes widening as they landed on a familiar figure.
“Is that Maia?” I saw her down a hallway, dressed in a gorgeous, deep purple gown, disappearing into a room with Eli who was looking at her like she was water in a desert.
I looked at Alfie. “Did you know she was coming?”
“Yes. Mind your business, Lola.” It was a gentle admonishment but it bothered me all the same. “Remember the rules; You don’t talk to her about this outside of the club.”
I nodded. “I understand.” I wasn’t going to do what Julia had just gotten kicked out for doing to me.
All thoughts of Maia, Julia and Kal disappeared as we arrived at the same hidden entrance that I’d been through once before when I’d come here to confront Damien.
Before we entered, Alfie turned to me. He took my chin, holding me firmly until I met his stare. “You never come down here without me. Not ever.”
“I promise.” It was an easy promise to make. I’d seen what was down here and it scared me more than aroused me. I only felt safe coming back because I knew I could trust Alfie.
He led me down into the underworld but took me a different route to the one I’d been to before. The room he led me into looked oddly cosy, like a medieval bedroom.
“Are we being watched?” I asked, pointing at the cameras. I knew that the Onyx rooms were the only part of the cub that had CCTV.
“No. Usually they would stay on for safety reasons but they’ve switched them off for me. Damien will check in personally in a few hours to make sure you’re okay. Don’t worry, he’s just going to call me. I won’t let him see anything.”
“Right. Okay.” I suddenly felt deeply self-conscious. Should I just strip off right now? What did he expect? What if I didn’t enjoy what he did to me?
He surprised me by pulling me into a hug. I leaned against his chest breathing him in until our heartbeats synched together.
“We’re breaking new ground tonight. I need you to listen, I need you to communicate. I need you to stay present. I need you to remember a safeword.”
“Safeword? We didn’t need one before.”
“We will tonight. I’ve chosen Harrington.”
“Harrington?” I repeated.
“Harrington. I’m going to push you hard. The second you want it to stop, you say the safeword and it stops. I need you to promise that you won't force yourself to do something you don’t want to do just to make me happy. Do you promise?”
“I promise.”
“Asking me to stop won’t disappoint me, do you understand?”
“I understand.” I was breathless, so breathless I felt almost dizzy. “I’m nervous.”
“I’m not.” He sounded so sure of himself that I felt myself relax. “I’m going to teach your body, your nervous system, every part of you that I’ve hurt, that you can trust me again.” He pulled me in for a deep kiss, leaving me shaking when he pulled away. “Now, let’s begin.”