Chapter 36
Thirty-Six
The light was too bright. So was the pain. Bright pain everywhere. I tried to count it but it came from too many parts of my body to make sense of it all.
My head thudded, it hurt to breathe, there was a sharp scratch in my hand. I coughed. That was worse. One cough and it felt like my chest was going to rip apart.
I didn’t want to wake up but the pain forced me to open my eyes and acknowledge it.
I opened my eyes. I was in a bed, there was a blanket over my legs and a pale blue curtain surrounded me. Machines beeped…machines that were attached to me.
Hospital. I was in the hospital. How? The last thing I remembered was that man. That man with the balaclava on.
And Maia. She was shot.
I tried to move and cried out in pain. It was only then I noticed him.
Of course he was there. Alfie Tell. Sitting in a blue plastic chair, pristine as always, except his suit jacket was missing. My clothing was gone altogether. I could feel the gown, so much gentler on my skin than my jeans.
He was watching me, his eyes glued to my face so he didn’t miss when I woke up. I didn’t need to talk, he gave my hand a gentle squeeze. I coughed again and he helped me drink a sip of water, wiping away the spill with care.
“Where’s your jacket?” Of all the questions I had, I don’t know why that one came first.
“Your feet were cold. I couldn’t find another blanket.
It’s busy in the hospital. Friday night.
” Alfie was pale, shadows around his eyes.
He looked like he’d aged a decade. “They had to cut your clothes off. You were a mess when I got here. I dressed you myself. Told them to fuck off if they thought I was going to leave you half-naked.”
“You can’t talk to medical staff like that.” I winced as the words scraped over my throat. The noise of my own voice pounded in my head.
“I know. I’ve apologised.”
I closed my eyes for a moment. All I wanted was to go back to sleep but there was too much to do, too many answers I needed. Alfie wasn’t alright. Tension radiated from him and despite everything that was happening, despite my own pain, I needed to make sure he was okay.
“Don’t blame yourself. Alfie, please.” His hand was in mine and I did my best to squeeze it. Just that touch alone hurt me but I didn’t want him to let go. I took as deep a breath as I could, trying to focus my spinning thoughts. “Maia…is she okay?”
“She’s in surgery. That’s all I know right now. I’m not family, they said I can’t know more.”
“Wow. Someone told you you can’t do something and you actually listened.”
“I’m having someone from my team access the hospital system. I’ll get an update when they fill out her notes.”
“Of course.” I wanted to laugh but it hurt too much. “Am I okay?”
“You have whiplash. Broken ribs. A laceration to your scalp. Fractured cheek bone where they hit you—” His voice broke off and he looked away.
I wanted to cry but somehow the tears wouldn’t come. Maybe it was shock. Maybe it was the drugs.
“The doctor said he needed to speak to you about something when you woke up. Fucker wouldn’t tell me what. I’d access your records too to find out but I assumed you wouldn’t approve.”
“You assumed correctly. You should tell them I’m awake.”
He frowned and pressed a button that I presumed would call a nurse.
“How am I here? The last thing I remember was—” I couldn’t say it. Tears filled my eyes. I desperately didn’t want to cry.
“Thomas took out the man who knocked you unconscious before he had a chance to get you into a car. The rest of them were already leaving as the police arrived.”
“Thomas and Joe – are they okay?”
“Injuried but they’ll live.”
“Who did it?” I asked. “It was my dad’s people, wasn’t it? I heard Irish accents.”
“We can talk about it later. You need rest.” I gave him a look and he sighed.
“Yes, it was them. A lot of them. Joe estimated two dozen. It’s a miracle any of you survived.
” He ran a hand through his hair. “The police are involved but mostly they’re just in the way.
Elliot is reaching out to the Berne family now, cutting straight to the chase. ”
“They were trying to kidnap me to hold me ransom?” The words sounded insane as I said them but I knew they were true. “Weren’t the pictures enough? Why not use them to blackmail you for the money?”
“I don’t think they’re behind the photos, my love.
Two separate threats. Or maybe three.” He rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand, soothing the only part of me that didn’t hurt.
“I’m not sure what triggered them to attack you today.
Maybe your father was taking too long to get the money and they became impatient.
Elliot said it was sloppy and they would have been less of a threat if there hadn’t been so many of them.
Trying to kidnap you at gunpoint in broad daylight when you have security with you?
That’s stupid. People like that aren’t generally stupid. ”
“You’ve said before that people do stupid things for money. At least it’s over now.” I was trying to be positive and put on a strong front I didn’t feel.
He gritted his teeth, his jaw ticking. “I shouldn’t have let you out of my fucking sight. I should have kept you at Harrington. I should never have let you leave.”
“Stop…don’t do this to yourself…” I winced as another bolt of pain came from my broken ribs. Everything felt too loud. I could hear people talking, machines beeping. We had little privacy.
Before I could lecture Alfie on the dangers of self-flagellation, we were interrupted by an older woman that I presumed was a nurse, she flashed a bright smile when she saw me.
“Oh, you’re awake. I’ll let the doctor know.” She disappeared, leaving me alone with my very upset man.
“It’s my job to look after you.”
“You did. You gave me Maia and Joe and Thomas and I’m still alive. It’s not your fault my dad has brought this mess into my life.” I coughed again and hissed in pain.
“Be quiet now, Lo. No more talking.”
We had peace for only a few minutes before a man joined us. I presumed he was the doctor. He was young with rectangular glasses and a sparse attempt at a beard.
“Lola…O’Connell?” he asked, checking his notes. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I got in a car accident. Thanks for taking care of me.”
“You’re quite welcome. I’d like to speak to you in private if that's alright? It’s a bit delicate.”
I shook my head and immediately regretted it when the room started spinning. “You can say anything in front of Alfie. We’re engaged.” I held up my hand to show my ring only to see it missing. “My ring…where?” I began to panic.
“It’s alright, I have it,” Alfie said. “They had to take it off to do your scan. I have your necklace too.” I didn’t know why but I began to cry. Alfie wiped my tears away with his thumb and for just a second, I forgot the world was there.
Alfie turned to the doctor. “What’s wrong? Why do you need to talk to her?”
“Well, as I said this is delicate, Lola, I’m sorry but I have to ask you, did you know you’re pregnant?"
I stared at him, wondering if the drugs were making me hallucinate.
“What?”
“When you came in we had to run some tests before we could decide a treatment plan for you. One of your scans showed signs that you might be pregnant so we ran a blood test which came back positive. We’ve done an ultrasound that shows you in the very early stages. Probably around ten weeks.”
I shook my head. It couldn’t be true. Alfie looked at me, studying my face to see if I was lying.
“I’m on the pill. I haven’t missed one. I swear.”
“Are you sure?” The doctor asked and I nodded. “You haven’t missed a period?”
“No. I…the last one was a little late and lighter than usual but I put that down to stress. Things have been…stressful.”
The doctor gave a shrug. “Well, these things can happen.”
These things. I didn’t know why but I didn’t like the way he said it.
“I’m very sorry to tell you but I’m afraid we couldn’t find a heartbeat. It’s impossible to say whether you had lost it already or if it was caused by the accident. When I examined you, you had significant bruising to your abdomen that could explain it.”
They’d kicked me. One of them had punched and kicked me in the stomach until I couldn’t breathe. Was it the same one Maia had killed? I felt like I was going to vomit.
“As you haven’t started bleeding yet, with your consent, we’ll give you some medication to help you pass everything. You’ll be staying at least until tomorrow afternoon so we can keep an eye on you.”
It.
Pass Everything.
These Things Happen.
“Okay.” What else should I say?
Alfie asked more questions then but I didn't hear them.
These Things Happen.
I didn’t even notice when the doctor left. I just looked up and he was gone. Alfie was there, watching me slip in and out of my own body. I was pregnant. But I wasn’t.
“I didn’t do anything. I didn’t mess with your pills.” He spoke so quietly it took me a moment to register what he’d said.
“Of course you didn’t.”
I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to say.
“My necklace. Can I have it?” Somehow, I felt that everything would be able to get better if I could touch it. As if my mother had imbued it with some sort of magical protection spell.
“Maybe you should look at it later.” I stared at him and he only sighed, a sigh that said he’d given up on trying to shield me from more pain today. He reached into a pocket and pulled out the necklace. “I’m sorry, Lo.”
A pain ripped through my chest as I looked at the broken clasp, the cracked glass. It was ruined.
I felt a tear spill down the side of my face, catching in my hair. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”
“Because it’s sad.”
A simple answer. A simple truth. A little life had died. A life I didn’t even know anything about. That was always a sad thing.
I slept and of course, he was there when I woke up. Always. His back ramrod straight in the blue plastic chair.