Chapter 14
‘Paris?’ Hugh repeated, looking between us across the restaurant table. ‘Both of you?’
‘Yes, Dad.’
‘Why?’
‘Because “Paris is always a good idea”?’ Sash returned, throwing me a smile as she quoted the line from Sabrina.
Her natural and very welcome joie de vivre had been a godsend these past few weeks whenever I felt the beginning of a wobble beginning to surface about my decision.
I watched her latest YouTube video announcing to her followers that she was moving to Paris for six months, excitement radiating through the screen.
As she had told them, we didn’t have definite plans yet, but if they had any ideas of places they wanted her to go, eat at and see, then to put them in the comments below the video.
I scrolled through after I’d watched it, reading the suggestions as well as the good wishes and her followers’ own excitement at this new chapter.
‘I thought you were all done with that,’ Hugh said, turning to me.
‘With what?’
‘All that Paris nonsense.’
‘Dad!’
‘It’s fine, Sash.’ Hugh and I had managed to keep the divorce pretty amicable but there were moments my ex did raise my hackles.
Like now. I turned back to face him. ‘It’s not nonsense, Hugh.
It wasn’t nonsense then either. Let’s remember that I haven’t judged you on your choices.
’ I let that sit a moment. The fact that his girlfriend was twenty years his junior had surprised me a little but other than that, if she made him happy then that was all that mattered.
Sasha, on the other hand was, understandably, still having trouble getting her head around the fact her dad was dating someone only a few years older than her.
But if he was going to be snarky about my decision, there was ammunition there enough to launch at least a warning shot across the bows.
Such as the fact that they went to Glastonbury last year, for example.
And that he’d paid for it all, according to Sash.
This was a man who felt six people at dinner was a crowd.
But that had been his choice and Paris was mine.
‘No. No, of course not. Obviously, I didn’t mean it like that.’
Can anyone say backpedal?
‘No, I didn’t think you did.’ I tried not to smile.
‘So? When are you leaving?’
‘Saturday.’
‘Oh. So soon?’
‘We arranged it all several weeks ago but you were travelling in the Andes and out of contact.’
‘Oh. Yes. Yes, I see. Of course.’
Hugh and the girlfriend had recently trekked to Machu Pichu as part of an overland hike, with ‘wild camping’, whatever that meant.
I’d once suggested a glamping weekend at a luxurious-looking place in the Cotswolds.
Hugh’s reaction had been more akin to suggesting he parade through Bourton-on-the-Water in his underpants and mortar board.
But then I wasn’t thirty-one with perky boobs and a backside you could bounce coins off, so there was that.
‘Did you enjoy the trip?’ I asked. Hugh had always had a slim frame but he looked thinner than I’d ever seen him and although his comment had irked me, I’d spent a long time married to him, and had loved him.
It was hard to turn concern for someone off like a light switch when you closed the door on a marriage. At least it was for me.
‘Marvellous. Yes. Absolutely. Incredible sights.’ The words rushed out.
‘You always were shit at lying, Hugh.’
Sasha’s head snapped towards me.
My ex held my gaze for a moment, his body tense before he went soft and dropped his head momentarily. When he looked up again, a hint of smile played around his lips.
‘Oh, God, Katherine. It was bloody awful!’
‘Camping not really your thing?’
‘No. As I’m sure you already knew.’
‘As did you.’
He gave a small nod. ‘The views and monuments were spectacular. I can’t deny that.’
‘I’m sure you enjoyed the opportunity to learn more about the region and its history.’
‘Absolutely fascinating!’ he said, his face coming alive as it always did when he gained new knowledge.
Hugh had an insatiable thirst for learning.
It didn’t matter what it was about. When I’d discovered I was pregnant with Sasha, he’d thoroughly researched how it was possible, bearing in mind I’d been on the pill at the time.
I’d advised him that that particular aspect was moot now and he’d moved on to more useful fact harvesting.
By the time Sash was born, there wasn’t a book on babies that Hugh hadn’t read and made copious notes on, including the intricacies of the birth, which he was looking forward to finding out more about during my delivery.
That particular part had, however, remained mere theory as he’d passed out within seconds of the first sign of blood.
But as young parents, his thirst for knowledge had, when tempered, been inordinately helpful in us navigating our way.
‘I’ve never felt so bloody ill in my life. Honestly, I thought I’d contracted bloody dysentery!’
‘Dad!’ Sash’s face flushed as the couple on the next table looked over, horrified.
Hugh and I burst out laughing. Ageing could be a bitch but the one thing it did have going for it was that you cared a lot less about what others thought.
‘I thought you looked thinner.’
‘I lost nearly two stone through my arse!’
My snorts of laughter did nothing to lessen my daughter’s embarrassment but on the plus side, the tension of earlier was now well and truly broken.
‘I’m on probiotics, fermented food and all the rest of it, trying to get my stomach to talk to me again.’
‘I’m sorry you didn’t have the best time.’
‘Are you?’ he asked with a smile.
‘Yes. I am,’ I replied, honestly. ‘I’m not surprised, if that’s what you’re getting at, but I am sorry.’
‘I should have listened to you when you reminded me about the glamping thing.’
‘People change.’
‘I don’t.’
I raised my eyebrows a little. He’d always been a bit snooty about men who went off with younger women to ‘pander to their ego’.
‘OK. Point taken. But not about bloody camping. I’ve told Tania that’s it now. If she wants to do anything else in that line, she’ll have to go on her own or with a friend. I’m afraid I value my creature comforts far too much.’
‘How did that go down?’
‘Better than expected. To be honest, she was pretty embarrassed about me having to stop every five minutes and find a convenient rock to disappear behind so…’ He shrugged.
‘I’m not surprised,’ Sash spoke.
‘It could have happened to anyone, Sash,’ I said, defending her dad.
‘I know.’ She shrugged. ‘Just…’ She gave a shiver. ‘I’d have been mortified if it was my boyfriend. Ugh. It sounds so weird describing you as someone’s boyfriend, Dad.’
‘To be honest, it feels weird being described as such.’
‘If you care about someone and they’re in distress or ill, you don’t, and shouldn’t, give a damn about what other people might be thinking, Sash.’
As I’d never been able to get Hugh to agree to my much longed-for trip to India in all the time we’d been married, due to his ‘dodgy tum’, I’d been pretty miffed when Hugh had told me of his plan to conquer the Andes with his nubile girlfriend.
However, events appeared to have shown that he’d been right to be concerned.
Although I would have been sensible enough to stick to the hotel food, as we had in Goa, despite how appealing some of the street food had been.
But eating street food in South America apparently did more for Tania’s TikTok likes.
‘You looked like you were having a great time,’ Sash said.
‘Shows you shouldn’t always believe everything you see on social media,’ her dad replied with a wry grin.
Hugh had always shown a distaste for social media and, wisely enough, worried about the implications of it when everyone else was lauding it as the new messiah.
Although, of course, he made an exception for Sash’s YouTube and accompanying Instagram, he was still constantly reminding her to be cautious and keep herself safe.
Seeing him grinning out of a social media post that wasn’t his daughter’s had been very odd when Sash forwarded me a picture her friend had sent on to her.
Having been married to him for nearly three decades, I, however, had immediately seen the tension in his eyes, the way his jaw was rigid.
To the world viewing the picture, he was living the dream with his young girlfriend, striking out on new adventures in exotic places.
But to the person that knew him best, it was clear he was miserable.
Sasha was about to reply when her phone rang. She glanced at it, ready to ignore as she generally did when she was with us, but her finger hovered over the button.
‘It’s a brand I really want to work with. Do you mind if I take it?’
‘Not at all.’ I nodded at the phone. ‘Good luck.’
She blew me a kiss and answered as she pushed her chair away from the table and walked towards the door. Hugh watched her go.
‘Our daughter, the entrepreneur.’ Pride shone in his eyes as he turned back to face me. ‘We did good, Katherine.’
‘We did.’ I took a sip of my wine. ‘Are you sure you’re OK now? Healthwise, I mean.’
Hugh nodded. ‘Yeah. On the road to recovery.’ He shook his head. ‘Stupid bloody idea, really. I don’t know what I was thinking.’
‘I do,’ I replied as I replaced my glass on the table, laughter in my words.
He looked at me for a moment before his own laughter bubbled out. ‘Fair point. But oh, God, Katherine. It was amazing to see the places but what I wouldn’t have given for a comfy armchair in my study with a fire in the grate, a whiskey in one hand and a book in the other.’
‘That does sound more like you. But, as I said, people can change.’
‘I don’t want to change, though. That’s the thing. I’m quite happy with all that. I’ve just described my perfect evening.’
I screwed my nose up. ‘What are you going to do?’
‘I don’t know. She’s a great girl and we do have fun together. I think it’s something we’ll have to have a discussion about sooner rather than later.’