Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
When Suzie came to again, she was sitting on one of the white plastic chairs, next to a table with a glass of water on it, flanked by her son and her former lover. She didn’t need to look at either of them to feel the waves of fury coming her way. It took her a moment to remember where she was.
The second she did, she put her hands over her eyes to make it all go away. How could she have been so stupid as to think that she could get away with it? Those who played with fire were bound to get burned, even if there’d been a nigh on forty-year delay.
Giannis picked up the glass and held it to her lips.
‘Try and drink something. You fainted.’
There was no ‘Mama’ at the end of the sentence, or any sign of affection in his voice. Her son was treating her like a stranger.
Suzie looked from one man to another. The similarities were so obvious up close if you knew what you were looking for.
She’d been fooling herself that Giannis looked like her own father.
He was virtually the spitting image of her former love, especially now Christian was older himself.
With only twenty years or so between them, their shared height, hair colour, face shape, eyes and dimples were almost identical.
Not that either of them was currently displaying those cute little dimples or likely to be for some time to come.
After a couple of gulps of the water, Suzie attempted to speak.
‘I’m sorry… I’m so sor—’
The second ‘sorry’ dissolved into a storm of tears. Fighting the racking sobs that overtook her body was useless. It was better to wait until they had subsided. A tissue was thrust into her hand, this time by Christian. But again, no hint of a smile.
A particularly noisy nose blow had them both staring at her again. After a few more sips of water, she couldn’t put it off any longer. Standing up and facing the music was what they both deserved. She kept one hand on the table to steady herself.
‘I’m so sorry it had to be like this.’
Neither man moved an inch.
‘But yes … it’s true.’
She turned to the slightly taller of the two men, stood still as a statue.
‘Christian, you are Giannis’s biological father.’
‘No!’
It was Giannis’s shout that echoed round the room, the anger in his voice clear.
‘I’ve already got a father. A father who’s always been in my life, a father who loves me.’
‘I know, Gianni mou, I know.’
‘Don’t mou me, Mama. Not now. Not after what you’ve done.’
Christian’s face was white as a sheet under the overhead lighting.
‘Suze, how could you keep it a secret? Why didn’t you come to me?’
Her world was going black again. She slumped back into the chair.
‘Please, I will explain everything to you both. But not now.’
She turned to look at her son, pleading with her eyes for him to show her some love.
Giannis was the one whose life would change the most. Her revelation had swept away everything he knew about himself.
His beloved dad hadn’t had any part in creating him.
He was no longer half Greek by birth, but one hundred per cent British.
He was so proud of being Greek. On top of everything, that would be one of the toughest things to bear.
Christian had had one big shock, that was for sure, but it was her son she needed to protect.
Suzie got to her feet again and looked Christian in the eye.
‘Gianni and I are booked on a ferry back to the island tonight. There’s a car coming for us in ten minutes.
The best thing to do would be to leave as planned.
I was never going to the party if I’m being honest. But people will be expecting you to go.
Give me your number, and I’ll call you tomorrow. ’
Christian’s laugh was harsh.
‘If you think you’re doing your disappearing act again, you’ve got another think coming. We’re going to sort this mess out once and for all. I’m coming back with you. Now you’ve landed this bombshell on both of us, I want a chance to get to know my son. You owe me that at least.’
Giannis’s silence was loud in the room.
Suzie knew enough about Christian to know he wasn’t going to back down.
Maybe getting both men out of the city was the best option.
She had one hell of a lot of explaining to do either way.
The hurt in Giannis’s eyes tugged at her heart, as did the blind shock in Christian’s.
This wouldn’t be an easy fix, for any of them.
‘OK, fine. Do you need to speak to anyone before you go?’
Christian wagged his finger in front of his face.
‘Oh no, I’m not letting you out of my sight. We all go together. I’m sure there are hotels on this island of yours that I can book into, and I’ll have my luggage sent on. All I need for tonight is a toothbrush.’
A text on her phone told Suzie the car was waiting.
‘Right, let’s go now then, while everyone’s at the after party.’
Both men nodded, faces stern. It was like looking at the pair of antique china dogs that had faced each other on the mantelpiece in her parents’ house, almost identical but with slightly different markings.
She’d pay good money to see the dimples on either of the men’s faces again, instead of disapproving glares.
She picked up her bag and pulled her heavy suitcase out of the wardrobe.
‘That’s everything. Let’s hurry. The last person in the world we want to bump into is Frank. You’re both entitled to your privacy.’
Christian grunted.
‘Ah, Frank. The Frank who helpfully suggested that I make a visit to your dressing room as you had something urgent to tell me.’
Suzie couldn’t hold in the white-hot fury that swept over her.
‘The bastard! The total and utter bastard.’
He’d obviously put two and two together and deliberately distracted her backstage to enable Christian to make his discovery.
Giannis’s head went up at the sound of her swearing. She rarely swore at home, but she could cheerfully strangle Frank with her bare hands for forcing the situation.
Christian’s stare was unfathomable.
‘I agree he’s a bastard, but he was right, wasn’t he? You did have something to tell me.’
Suzie’s interest in the contents of her handbag suddenly intensified a hundredfold. It caused her to let go of her suitcase, which toppled over onto its side.
Both men reached over to right it at the same time, but Christian pulled back in favour of the younger man.
At least they were showing her a little consideration.
The situation would need very careful handling.
Giannis was undoubtedly her priority, but the thought of Christian on her island, even for a day, was distinctly unnerving.
The forty-minute car ride to the ferry was completed in silence. Christian might have paid the cab driver, and Giannis might have carried her suitcase up the ramp and stowed it in the hold, but that was about it as far as meaningful interactions went.
The emotion of the night sent her to sleep virtually as soon as the boat left the port, the gentle rocking motion doing its work, but each time she awoke from a fitful doze, her eyes searched for both men.
Giannis stayed put in an armchair opposite her, sometimes asleep himself, while she could see Christian pacing the deck outside the window, smoking.
So much for his one-a-day line, but she had to acknowledge her part in making this into one extraordinary day for him.
When she looked up again, Giannis was on his phone, texting furiously.
At least he had Kat to talk to and go back to.
She was so grateful for his loving wife waiting at home.
Although it hurt her deeply to admit it, she wasn’t the right person to comfort her son at this point.
For so many years it had been her job to make it better for her boys, but when it came to Giannis, she’d handed over the baton to Kat a while ago, and that was as it should be.
She, as his mother, was the reason he was in this state, and the decisions she’d made all those years ago had come back to haunt her. She’d had her reasons, but he wouldn’t want to hear them yet.
A sudden thought had her on her feet.
‘Gianni.’
He stopped texting.
‘You’re angry with me, I know, and you have every reason to be. But I’ve got to speak to you.’
‘Sit down, Mama.’
At least he’d called her Mama. She did what she was told.
‘I know I have no right to ask…’
Her son’s tired eyes, so similar to Christian’s, stared back at her.
‘But?’
‘Please will you let me tell your dad and your brother first? I’ll get them together and do it first thing in the morning up at the farm, I promise.’
Giannis nodded once and looked back down at his phone.
Suzie breathed a sigh of relief. His word was his bond.
As a lawyer, he was well used to keeping other people’s secrets, but this one was different; this was personal.
An enormous life-changing secret had exploded in his lap, and she had to minimise the emotional damage for those she loved – if she could.
Her own feelings were very much at the back of the queue.
In her eyes, that’s what it meant to be a mother, doing your best to keep your children on track.
The saying ‘you’re only as happy as your unhappiest child’ had a lot of truth to it, and boy, was Giannis an unhappy child at the moment.
Plus, she also had Kostas to consider. The news would be a terrible shock for him too.
‘Thank you.’
‘Don’t thank me, Mama. My father, my brother and I…’ A long sigh escaped her son’s mouth. ‘I suppose he’s my half-brother now…’
‘Don’t say that, Gianni. Of course he’s still your brother.’
Giannis waved away her words.
‘Whatever. One thing’s for sure, we’ll all have to deal with this shitshow together somehow.’
‘I know. And I’m so sorry.’
‘Stop saying you’re sorry. It’s too late for sorry. It’s going to be such a shock for Baba, knowing that the child he thinks is his was fathered by someone else. I don’t envy you the task of breaking that to him.’
Suzie wrung her hands over and over again to stop herself speaking. But it was too late. Giannis could gut a witness on a stand in minutes; in her exhausted state she was no match for him.
‘Oh, my God. He already knows, doesn’t he?’
Suzie nodded miserably.
‘I was only a few weeks pregnant when I arrived on the island. I will tell you the whole story when you’re ready to hear it—’
Giannis cut her off in mid-flow. ‘I can’t imagine when that will be.’
‘All I will say for now is that I really did fall in love with Panos back then, and we agreed together that we would bring you up as our child. The moment he saw you, he loved you, and that has never changed. He is your dad in every way that counts.’
Giannis thumped his chest several times in the Greek gesture of love. The tears in his eyes started her off as well.
‘I know that, Mama. I don’t need you to tell me about my own father.’
‘I’m so sorry.’
‘Enough! Next, you’ll be telling me that Kosta is the son of some local fisherman or a guy you met in the bar.’
Suzie bit the inside of her lip hard. The iron taste of blood in her mouth gave her something to focus on.
She didn’t deserve that comment, and coming from anyone else, she wouldn’t take it.
But she needed to keep calm and draw on every ounce of her severely depleted reserves.
She wanted to shout and scream, but that wouldn’t help anyone, least of all the desperately sad son seated before her.
‘I can assure you that Kosta is Panos’s son. You have my word.’
Giannis lifted his head and wiped away his tears with his thumbs.
‘Now it is my turn to say I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.’
Suzie nodded her acceptance of his apology, unable to speak through her own tears.
The beginning of their mother-and-son trip had been so full of excitement and hope.
Now her son’s image of her had been smashed to pieces and who knew what it would look like when, or indeed if, it was glued back together.
Visible now through the windows as they approached the island were the lights of the main town, rising from the port in rows to the hills beyond. Her battered heart lifted a little as they neared the harbour. She was glad to be home.
Christian stubbed out a cigarette and headed inside as the Tannoy announced their imminent arrival. His eyebrows lifted as he looked between her and Giannis, their red eyes giving the game away, but Suzie gave a small shake of the head. They’d all had enough for one night. She lowered her voice.
‘There are taxis to the right of the port. Let’s swap numbers and talk again after we’ve both had some sleep. Everyone on the island knows who I am because of the bar, so I wouldn’t be able to hide away, even if I wanted to.’
Christian gave her the ghost of a smile.
‘Good.’