Chapter Twenty
CHAPTER TWENTY
Ottilie had enjoyed her morning helping Simon more than she could ever have anticipated, and she felt as if she knew him so much better than she had before. She left his house full of hope for a brilliant working relationship, one that might see them both to their retirements, one that was fulfilling, one that helped many people and one that might eventually help Simon himself too. She’d seen only too clearly a man still struggling, bravely battling his grief and the demons that came with it – she saw it because she’d lived it and had only recently begun to let go. That period of her own life was still fresh and recent enough that the memories were visceral: the way she’d felt, the hopeless emptiness of each day, the desperate need to fill the hours with anything that would stop her dwelling on the past she’d longed for and a future that was lost.
Back at Wordsworth Cottage there had been time for a shower, a change of clothes and a layer of make-up ready for Heath’s arrival. They’d planned a quiet night – some food, wine and maybe a film. Heath had wanted to do something fancier, but Ottilie was glad now she’d resisted his suggestions. She was perfectly content to keep it low-key, and she was beginning to feel they were at the point of their relationship where they didn’t have to always be on, where they could be relaxed in each other’s company and not always feel as if they had to be trying to impress. At least that was the way she saw it, and she hoped Heath was beginning to feel the same way.
He arrived bang on time with a smile, flowers and a bottle of wine, and a warm kiss that left her as breathless as the first one they’d shared. Every kiss made her feel that way, and while she hoped for that familiarity in the way they enjoyed each other’s company, she also hoped the thrill of his kisses would never lessen.
Ottilie had eaten so much at lunch that she hadn’t been hungry when they sat down to the Thai banquet he’d ordered in from a neighbouring town – something that had taken quite a bit of trouble and a larger-than-usual delivery charge – and so she’d done her best to show her appreciation and eaten as much as she could manage. Far from feeling pleasantly satisfied, she ended up making herself feel sick, so when Heath got close on the sofa while the film was on, all she wanted to do was hold on to her stomach and wait for it to pass.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said, baulking at the look of disappointment on his face. ‘Give me an hour or so…I don’t feel brilliant.’
‘Was it the curry? I thought you loved Thai food…You said?—’
‘I do, and it was gorgeous and so thoughtful of you. There was nothing wrong with the food. I think I overdid it. You know, because it was so delicious I couldn’t stop.’
‘Oh… right.’
He moved away, still sitting close but giving her enough space to spread out and get comfortable. She pulled a cushion to her tummy and willed her discomfort to pass. A walk would have been a good idea, and though they were settled and in the middle of a good movie, she was about to suggest they pause it and go out for a stroll to see if it would make her feel better when there was a knock at the door. Heath shot a faintly suspicious look at her. Or perhaps there was no suspicion. Perhaps that was all in her head.
‘You didn’t say you were expecting anyone.’
‘I’m not.’ Ottilie got up. ‘I won’t be a minute.’
Simon was at the door. As she opened up, he held out the dishes she’d brought their lunch over in.
‘Thought you might need them,’ he said. ‘I washed them up and thought about bringing them into work tomorrow but then decided to have a walk.’
‘Oh, right…Thanks so much.’
‘No…’ He gave a warm smile. ‘Thank you so much. I don’t know what I would have done without you today. Actually, I do. I would still have been wallowing in Charles’s dirt. And please never tell him I said that!’
Ottilie smiled. ‘I won’t.’
‘Anyway, I really appreciate it. Especially the amazing lunch and your company. And I’ve been thinking about what you were saying about your volunteering. I’m definitely going to get involved. I can see how much you enjoy it and so, well, there must be something in it, right?’
‘That’s good.’ Ottilie cradled the bowls as she glanced back down the hallway. ‘So we can talk about it tomorrow at work if that’s OK. It’s…’
‘Oh God, yes, of course…’ Simon slapped his forehead in the most comical way. ‘You’ve got company. I remember you said now. God, I’m so stupid…in a world of my own.’
‘Not at all, but Heath is here, so…’
‘I’ll leave you to it. See you tomorrow.’
With a casual wave, Simon turned and walked the path to the gate as Ottilie closed the front door. She turned with a start to see Heath standing at the end of the hallway.
‘Who was it?’
‘Oh, it was Simon. He was returning these…’ Ottilie held up the dishes.
‘He borrowed them?’
‘Sort of.’
‘He doesn’t have any dishes of his own?’
‘He’s only recently moved in, hasn’t he? All in boxes still.’
‘Yeah, I suppose so. What was that about you having lunch with him?’
‘We had lunch. It was only leftovers. Because he couldn’t cook anything at his place.’
‘But you had lunch with him?’
‘I was there anyway so yes. We were cleaning.’
‘You were cleaning for him?’
‘No, we were cleaning. I was helping him. I figured he might need it. I was lucky my place was so clean when I moved in, but it’s not always like that and I know what Charles and Fliss are like when it comes to cleanliness. I thought there was a fair chance he’d need an extra pair of hands, and I was right.’
Heath folded his arms. ‘So have you been there all day?’
‘No.’
‘But long enough to want lunch?’
Ottilie narrowed her eyes and made to get past him with her bowls. ‘What is this? What does it matter? Why the sudden interrogation?’
‘I don’t know, but I’m here and you’re too tired to do anything and you can’t eat the meal I went to a lot of trouble to?—’
‘I did eat the meal!’ Ottilie dumped the dishes onto the kitchen table and turned to Heath, who had followed her in there.
‘You said you were struggling.’
‘Sometimes you’re hungrier than others. That’s normal.’
‘I’m only asking. Am I in the wrong for asking?’
‘For God’s sake, Heath. I’m not Mila!’
Heath’s expression went from one that was battling suspicion to hurt and anger. Ottilie saw immediately she’d said the wrong thing, but she wasn’t about to take it back. If he could speak his mind – and she’d been left in no doubt what was on it – then so could she. So what if he was offended. She was offended too. She’d been under the impression they were beginning to understand each other. Surely he’d worked out by now that she was nothing like his ex? Surely she deserved more of his trust than Mila?
‘Do you want to leave?’ she asked.
He stood for a moment, still and silent, as if trying to read her, but the expression of hurt never left his face.
‘Yes,’ he said finally. ‘Maybe that would be a good idea before one of us says something we’d regret.’
‘I have nothing hurtful to say, but if that’s the way you’re feeling then you’d better. When you’ve got your head on straight, I’ll be here. Come and talk to me then.’
Heath ground his teeth as he studied her silently again. But then he nodded shortly, got his coat, kissed her briefly on the cheek and left.
At first Ottilie didn’t quite know how to react. She stood alone in the kitchen, staring at the dishes Simon had returned, her mind racing. Should she go after Heath? Should she give him space and trust he’d come to his senses? Because whichever option was the best, she was certain of one thing: none of this was her fault. She wasn’t about to apologise when she bore no blame. Josh would never have expected her to, and if Heath wanted to be in her life, then that line in the sand was going to be drawn right here and right now for him too. She was upset, hurt at how he could distrust her, that he was still comparing her to Mila even though she’d given him no reason to.
She thought about going to bed early. She was tired and there was no reason to stay up now, but she was so wound up she’d struggle to sleep. Besides, it was still early. She wondered if Stacey was up. Stacey was fast becoming Ottilie’s go-to confidante in Thimblebury. If anyone could make her feel better it was Stacey. So Ottilie dialled her number and waited for her to pick up.
She didn’t, but as Ottilie made the decision to clear the kitchen and make a cake to take her mind off her bad mood, Stacey called back.
‘Hey, sorry I missed your call…Is something wrong? You usually text rather than phone.’
‘Oh, it’s nothing urgent. Just a bit of…I don’t suppose you have an hour free if I come over, do you? Don’t worry if not – it doesn’t really matter.’
‘Sounds like it. I actually have someone here, but I…’ She lowered her voice and Ottilie frowned slightly. ‘I’m assuming he’s not planning to stay for long but I don’t know. Would it be a problem for you? If you need me to get rid, I can?—’
‘God, no!’
If Stacey was entertaining a potential boyfriend then Ottilie certainly didn’t want to get in the way of that to grumble about Heath.
‘Is it someone I know?’ she asked, unable to contain her curiosity despite her own woes.
‘Um…’
‘You don’t need to tell me.’
‘Actually, I don’t know why it matters. He only popped in to see how Mackenzie was doing so it’s not like there’s any great mystery. Simon’s here.’
‘Simon?’ Ottilie’s frown returned. She wasn’t sure why she was surprised either, but somehow she was. But if he was making an effort to settle into life here and make new friends, then of course he’d be visiting people. It was what she’d done. Something about it seemed more unlikely in his case, though. Or perhaps he was genuinely concerned for Mackenzie’s well-being. That would make sense, given what she knew about him and the fact he’d been to the hospital with them that night. ‘I won’t disturb you then.’
‘You wouldn’t be disturbing. He’s been telling me you were there today helping him move in. You should have phoned me – I’d have come over too.’
‘I thought you’d be busy.’
‘Never too busy for my two biggest heroes. I owe you both for that night Mackenzie was ill. I owe you for the night he was born! You only have to shout up when you need anything; you must know that.’
‘You don’t, but thank you.’
‘So come over, please. If you need it to be just us two I can make some excuse and I’m sure he’d understand.’
‘No, don’t do that,’ Ottilie said, her mind going back to Heath’s issues with Simon and suddenly feeling quite belligerent about being in his company. Ottilie got to say who she spent time with, not Heath. She had nothing to feel guilty about and nothing to hide, and she was perfectly entitled to choose her friends. Besides, Simon was going to be a partner at the surgery – it made sense to get along with him for that reason if no other.
‘Please come over; it’d be good to see you,’ Stacey said.
‘You know what, I will. Shall I bring a bottle?’
‘Oooh, if you like!’ Stacey said with a light laugh. ‘Now you’re talking my language!’
Ottilie’s plans had taken a complete about-turn. Rather than sulking in bed, she was now on her way out to Stacey’s with a bottle of red and a determination to put Heath’s unreasonable moodiness out of her mind. Stacey and Simon were both brilliant company, and there was nothing quite like a Mackenzie cuddle to cheer her right up. He might be in bed, of course, but with a bit of luck he’d be up for a feed and she’d get to make a fuss of him. Before she left home she checked her phone for missed calls or messages from Heath, but there was nothing. She supposed he might still have been driving. She decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that was the case, and if he was still sulking, she wasn’t going to give it a second thought.
When she arrived, Stacey threw open the front door. She was beaming and Ottilie couldn’t help a broad smile in return. She wondered if Stacey had made a start on her own wine, because she had a distinct glow about her and she was bouncier than Ottilie had seen her in a good while.
‘You didn’t mess around, did you?’ she asked, kissing Ottilie on the cheek.
‘I was already dressed and ready to go. I’ve left a sinkful of dishes but who cares, eh? Sometimes there are more important things than dishes.’
‘Absolutely. I’m glad you decided to come.’
‘Me too,’ Ottilie said as she went inside and closed the front door behind her.
In the living room, Simon looked very settled on the armchair with a glass of wine at his side and Mackenzie on his knee. Ottilie’s smile spread as he looked up at her.
‘Hello again! We’ve got to stop meeting like this!’
‘I know.’ Ottilie held out the wine for Stacey to take. ‘I’m sure we’ll see enough of each other at work soon.’ She glanced at Stacey. ‘Where’s Chloe?’
‘Out with the mystery man again.’
‘So we know it’s a man now?’
‘I’m making an educated guess. She’s being very sneaky. If it was a friend she wouldn’t care what I knew about it, but as she’s playing her cards close to her chest, it’s a boy.’
‘Probably.’ Ottilie cast a longing glance at Mackenzie.
‘Oh.’ Stacey laughed lightly. ‘Sorry, Simon, I think you’re going to have to give him up for a minute. Ottilie can’t live without her baby cuddles.’
‘Well, I am his godmother, after all,’ Ottilie said with mock affront as Simon offered him up. As she lifted Mackenzie to her, he let out a delighted giggle, thrusting a drool-covered hand into her hair.
‘I can see he loves you,’ Simon said as he watched them.
‘I should think so,’ Ottilie cooed. ‘I’m the first face he saw in this world.’
Simon’s confused glance went from Ottilie to Stacey and then back again.
‘Ottilie helped Chloe give birth upstairs. It’s a long story, but apparently my family is really good at creating emergencies.’
‘I didn’t do it all alone,’ Ottilie said as Simon threw her a look of awe. ‘I had you with me, Stacey. And Heath was there too.’
‘I seem to recall I wasn’t much use,’ Stacey said, her tone rueful now. ‘Heath was a star.’
‘He was,’ Ottilie agreed, her mind going to the argument she’d had with him. She’d been determined not to think about it but realised now that these situations were never so simple.
‘I’ll go and open this,’ Stacey said. She looked at Simon. ‘You’ll stay for another glass?’
Ottilie watched them both carefully, her curiosity piqued once again. Something in her manner was coy, almost shy suddenly. That wasn’t so surprising – she’d admitted to Ottilie she found Simon attractive and she’d made no secret that she wanted to find love again. What was more surprising was that Simon’s reply sounded almost as shy.
‘If you want me to. I don’t want to get in the way if you had plans to?—’
‘We don’t,’ Ottilie cut in. ‘Not at all. I’m the one who crashed the party.’
‘Hardly a party,’ Stacey said, hurrying to the kitchen with the wine Ottilie had given to her.
‘I’d only meant to call for five minutes after I left yours,’ Simon said to Ottilie as she moved a pile of toys to take a seat on the sofa. ‘But then we got chatting and Stacey opened the wine and here I still am. It beats being on my own surrounded by boxes.’
‘I’m sure it does. Stacey’s a good host – you were never going to get away with a quick five-minute visit.’
‘I can see that now. You know what,’ he continued, settling into the armchair and draining his glass, ‘it’s amazing, but I’m starting to feel settled in Thimblebury already.’
‘A couple of glasses of red will do that to you,’ Ottilie said wryly. ‘I’m assuming you’re not on your first one – at least, if I know Stacey you’re not.’
‘Oi!’ Stacey laughed as she came back with the open bottle and a new glass for Ottilie. ‘What are you trying to say about me?’
‘I’m saying you’re always the hostess.’ Ottilie took the glass from her.
‘Good, because it might sound to someone who didn’t know that you were calling me a lush.’
Ottilie laid a hand on her heart. ‘I’d never do that! I mean, you can sink more booze than a navvy but that’s beside the point…’
‘Cheeky cow!’ Stacey’s laughter grew, and Ottilie glanced at Simon to see him smiling. Not at them both, but at Stacey. She allowed herself an inward smile at the situation. Was there something blooming here? Was she witnessing the beginning of something wonderful for them? She couldn’t think of two people who deserved it more, and so with all her heart she hoped so.
Stacey sat next to her. ‘You still want to talk?’ she asked, lowering her voice while Simon pretended a bit too obviously not to be listening.
Ottilie glanced between the two of them and shook her head. What kind of friend would she be if she dampened the mood here now, not when it all looked so promising for them.
‘It’s nothing that won’t wait,’ she said, bouncing a gurgling Mackenzie on her knee. She wasn’t about to spoil whatever was going on here; she was only glad not to have to think about how annoyed she was at Heath for a while.