Chapter 43
Serenity
I propped a fist on my hip in feigned irritation as Dagger stepped through my door. “You do realize I could’ve been standing here naked?”
“But sadly, you’re not,” Dagger sighed. As he eyed me up and down, he couldn’t quite hide the worry widening them. “Although I’ve never seen someone pull off pink pajamas as well as you do.”
I was exhausted and feeling blue but still managed to smile. “Come here. I need a hug.”
He crossed the room, cocooning me in strong muscle and his gunpowder and leather scent. I’d lived in a cage so long I’d never imagined the comfort that being locked in a truly loving embrace could provide.
I rested my head against his tight black T-shirt, sighing. His skin and clothes were still cool from the blustering storm outside. “Did anyone tell you what happened after you left?”
“Bryce. He said everyone had kissed and made up, and that you were all having a great time before something upset you.” He tipped my chin up with one finger.
“He said you looked scared, that you asked to leave right away and come back here. So, I came to check on you, see if you wanted to talk about it.”
I stared at his mouth instead of his eyes, feeling kinda guilty about my freak out over Seb’s urges—what I assumed were natural feeding instincts—fretting how Dagger might react.
Everyone had been very understanding up until now, but I hadn’t divulged much either.
The ride home had been painfully quiet, and Seb, who was the only one with a glimpse into my mind, looked so downtrodden that I’d had to stare out the limo’s tinted windows instead.
What a fizzled finish to a rollercoaster evening.
Now Dagger was here, holding me, fresh from the precinct.
“I’m okay,” I finally answered. “I mean, I could’ve died tonight, so it could’ve been worse. But I managed to disappoint everyone just when the evening was on its way up again.”
He kissed my forehead, and the muscles in my shoulders relaxed, letting me nuzzle my cheek against his chest. “Why don’t we lie down, relax and talk? It looks like you need all three.”
I nodded, and he swept me up, an arm under my legs and one under my back.
He laid us down together on Hunter’s king-size bed.
He studied me closely as he brushed back my hair and caressed my jawline.
Even his jaguar tattoo stared—glowing faintly, its fierce gaze intense.
“I think your jaguar’s frustrated with me or something. ”
He stroked my head, running his tatted fingers through my hair, making my eyelids flutter. When he massaged my earlobe, his touch callused and caring, I laid my head in his palm.
“You’d make a terrible detective, Cowgirl.
He and I are both here to protect and listen to you, always.
And that’s the truth.” He sidled closer, the bed springs creaking and straining under his bulk.
“And if anyone should feel guilty about anything that went down tonight, it’s me.
” When I lifted up on an elbow in surprise, ready to tell him that was crazy, he sighed hard and clasped my hand.
“I dunno, maybe Hunt and Osric were right. Maybe Winterborn is too dangerous to live. I’ve got this horrible feeling others are gonna suffer cause I didn’t act when I should’ve. Maybe—”
I pressed a finger across his lips. “Shh, listen. You did the right thing. Your job is to uphold the law, and you did. I know you love your baddest cop on the planet image, and honestly, I kinda do too, but you’ve got a merciful heart, and he’d surrendered.
” I drew his jaguar tat to my mouth, kissing the black cat right on its nose as I ran my fingers along its head.
A soft, almost purring growl rumbled from deep within Dagger, making me smile.
“There’s an animal inside you, not a demon. ”
“Not sure it’s as noble as all that.” With an arm around my waist, he drew me closer and half-whispered, “I was hoping to interrogate that asshole to within an inch of his sanity, finally sort out this whole mess and make sure you were safe permanently. But I don’t think Hunter was thinking that far ahead.
When he’s in protection mode, there’s no talking to him. He rages.”
“I know. I think that’s why he reads so much philosophy. To try and keep from overreacting.”
“So, what else is bothering you?” he asked, clasping my leg and sliding it between his. “There’s more on your mind, your eyes are shouting it.”
I chuckled weakly. “Trust me to fall in love with a human lie detector. How am I supposed to wrap you round my little finger?”
He returned the chuckle. “I’m as wrapped as any woman could ever make a jaguar. Come on, don’t dodge it, tell me.”
“Well, things got pretty hot and heavy in the hotel suite”—I paused, expecting a flash of jealousy but finding it only in a brighter flare of light in the jaguar tat, not his face—“and we… well we had a really good time.” I looked up at him. “Things got cut off pretty early, though, to be clear.”
His mouth curled into a knowing grin. “I’m not raging with jealousy, don’t worry.”
I bit my lip and fought through the bashfulness. “Good… because I had the best orgasm of my life.”
He made a low, animalistic sound that curled my toes.
“I can’t say I’m overjoyed I missed out on seeing that, but…
I committed to sharing a mate, and I’m standing by it.
Don’t ever be afraid to share that kind of thing with me.
” He rubbed my butt cheeks playfully and smiled.
“Or anything. So go on. Tell me what happened next that upset you.”
Cuddling closer, I let it all out. “Well, maybe it was the stress of thinking Conrad and Armand had almost taken me back to hell, but I freaked out when Seb’s fangs grew.
And the worst part was, I could hear his thoughts, you know?
He wanted to feed.” To calm my involuntary shudder, I slipped my hand up under Dagger’s T-shirt and massaged his abs in circles, warming myself with his skin.
“I—it wasn’t anything aggressive or disrespectful, but he definitely wanted to bite me, and I…
” I shook my head fast. “I just can’t. But I’m worried I caused another issue between Hunter and Seb. Or that I really hurt Seb’s feelings.”
Dagger tucked my head under his chin and rubbed my thigh. “Serenity, I saw the horrors of that Marchand-run feeding den, the terror in those girls’ faces as they escaped. Your reaction was totally understandable. Don’t feel bad. I’m sure Seb understands, he’s a good guy. I’m sure they all get it.”
His callused fingers creating blissful friction on my cotton pajamas stirred heat between my thighs.
“I know, but he still looked so sad. I want to be with all of you. In every way. Emotionally. Physically. I don’t want to hold anything back.
I feel so connected to you all. Like we share a bond that makes us part of each other.
But I’m worried it won’t work out. Even putting the feeding thing aside, there’s you and Hunter… ”
“I’ll talk to him, explain my reasons for trying to arrest Winterborn. When he sees it was with your long-term safety in mind, he’ll come round, I promise. He’s a raging bull when his temper snaps, but the second he calms, he’s logical to a fault. And Bryce’ll have my back on this, don’t worry.”
I swallowed hard. “Thank God for Ceci sending her guys after me.” My exhale quivered.
“As much happiness as I’ve found here, I still sometimes think that I should have run to the border the second those den runners threw me out, gone back into the United States. At least then I’d be free of Conrad.”
Dagger shook his head, his scruff mussing my hair.
“Maybe if he’d never gotten that invisible trick of his.
But as it is? Who knows what other magic he has.
And what connections. If he could get around the wards surrounding New Nebraska.
He’d slither through the gates, past the border security and be right on your trail.
You’d be looking over your shoulder forever.
I’ve put a few stalkers in the pen, and the only thing that stops them is bars or bullets.
” He tightened his legs on mine more firmly, taking hold of my wrist the same.
“I hope when those thoughts come up, you tell them to take a hike. Because if you left now, right after I finally found you? God, that would twist a knife into my soul.”
I shifted on the pillows so I could kiss him, rolling partially onto his chest. He pulled me the rest of the way, lying on his back now. As I pulled back from the kiss, I brushed my nose against his, saying, “Well, we wouldn’t want that, would we?”
A smile cracked across his face. He looked so… content, and the joy in his eyes warmed my insides.
I planted a peck on his nose. “I’m starting to realize that moving somewhere else isn’t going to help me find home. I already found it in you guys. Wherever I go, or wherever you go, I want us together.” I took his face in my hands. “I love you, Dagger.”
He blinked, surprise making his face unguarded. A flash of emotions swept over his face. Joy. Devotion. A bit of lingering doubt.
“It’s true.”
“Thank God.” His fingers tangled in my hair, and he brought my mouth to his again. He kissed me gently at first, then greedily, sending tingles from my lips straight to my belly.
My hands explored his muscular shoulders, and I gripped him greedily between my thighs.
“I love you too, Serenity,” he rasped between slow, sensual kisses.
“I want you so bad,” I murmured.
His cock grew beneath me, and with his next kiss, he pulled my tongue into his mouth.
“You have no idea,” he growled, fingers rubbing then gently tugging my nipples until they hardened in his grip, spreading crackling heat through my stomach and chest. “I’ve wanted you so bad—since the moment we met—I feel like I might die without you.”
I laughed. “Well, I don’t want that. But I’m a little worried about… logistics.”
His fingers paused, and he barked out a surprised laugh. “Logistics?”
I chuckled. “Okay, maybe not the right word, but…” I reached beneath me to rub his cock through his jeans. “The size of you guys… I don’t know how I’m going to handle all the things I want all of you to do to me. I’m a human. I don’t think I’m built for that. I worry… it’ll hurt a lot.”
Dagger brushed my hair behind my ears and nodded, mulling over the issue. “You know, vamp venom is the strongest known painkiller in the world, when injected directly from their fangs. It’s better than all the human-made stuff put together.”
I reared up on him, forearms braced across his wide chest. “It is?” My face scrunched. “I always had pain when, you know.”
“They can hold back their venom when feeding. I’m guessing that was the case when you suffered what you did. But Seb isn’t a sadistic gangster piece of shit. Doing my job teaches you about people. He’d never hurt you, ever.”
“So, you think an injection of that would work if I wanted to enjoy some hunk dick?”
He laughed. “Yeah, hunk dick would be all pleasure and no pain.” He shrugged. “Well, not any more than any other first timer has. Fleeting, followed by a shit ton of joy.”
Who would’ve thought? The thing I feared, the thing that had cut short our evening, could give me exactly what I wanted.
A vampire bite could help instead of hurt.
I should’ve known Seb would never wish so desperately for something that would cause me pain.
Poor, Seb. I’d accidentally made him feel so guilty. I wanted to mend that.
“Can you give me a few minutes?” I asked, pressing my fingers to my temple, focusing.
“Can I take off my T-shirt while I wait?”
I reached for his rock-hard dick. “Yes. Everything else too, Detective.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He stood and began stripping slowly.
I looked away. Not because I was shy, but because I wanted to see Seb enjoying everything with us too.
Hey, you around, Superman?
I’m here. Seren… I am so, so sorry. I fucked up doubly tonight. I should’ve done something to dampen my cravings before we did anything. My barrier wasn’t strong enough. I heard an internal groan of pained frustration.
It’s okay. You’re allowed to want to feed. It’s part of your biology, and my hangups about it have nothing to do with you.
But I never want to do anything that triggers bad thoughts or memories for you. I should’ve been more careful.
Seb, seriously, you are so beyond forgiven.
I waited through his long pause, sensing the slight uptick in his mood. Thank you. For understanding. For everything.
Dagger just told me something very interesting about your vamp venom. I worked to put a smile into my thoughts.
Oh?
Mm-hmm. We’re here in Hunter’s room. Why don’t you come inside and we’ll talk about it? I’ve got some things I want to try.
Are you sure?
His doubt stirred my own trepidation, and the old armor tried to fasten around my ribs, but I fought to shirk it off. Get in here, and we’ll find out together.