Chapter 25 #3
“I’ll change in the bathroom,” Nala mumbled after Varen refused to understand why she might want some privacy, even though she had seen her naked enough times by now.
Nala made herself a bed on the couch downstairs, content with watching TV until her eyelids were too heavy to keep open.
Varen, however, insisted on bringing down the other pillow from her bed for Nala to curl up with.
She also brought down a spare blanket and tossed it over Nala when she least expected it.
“The offer still stands to come upstairs,” she said more than once. “The bed is way more comfortable. Trust me. I’ve fallen asleep on this couch countless times.”
“Thanks. I’ll be fine here.”
At least Varen didn’t try to kiss her goodnight.
She did, however, take a shower while Nala watched TV. Oh, sure, that was perfectly normal. Women took showers, after all, but did all women then come downstairs and scrounge around… wearing nothing but cotton pajama bottoms and a sports bra?
Spare me. The moment Nala caught a glimpse of Varen’s skin standing before the fridge was the moment she pulled the blanket over her head and attempted a journey into sleep.
During that time of tossing and turning on a leather couch, Varen turned off the lights downstairs and went up, leaving one soft lamp on while she coughed and creaked on her bed.
The loft grew cold.
Nala tried to ignore the strange feeling of sleeping on Varen’s couch.
She watched TV until it drove her insane.
She played on her phone until she couldn’t think of a single Wikipedia article to check out next.
You need to sleep. Ravenwood’s party is tomorrow.
Also, work. At least she had her priorities sorted.
Even so, Nala could not convince herself to sleep.
The air around her was too stiff, too… devoid of life.
At least in her closet, Nala could pretend she was in her safe home, snuggled deep into a cozy corner and unaware of the world around her.
She was not claustrophobic in the slightest.
If anything, people might say she was agoraphobic in the traditional sense.
I don’t mind crowds, but this whole big open space thing is unsettling.
She often felt that way living in Nevada.
Big, sunny desert with no end in sight. What if something got her?
Nala turned to the back of the couch and tried to snuggle there. All she could think about, however, was how this leather felt against her hands and feet as she straddled Varen’s lap… the way she surged into Nala, taking her, owning her.
No matter how deeply she sank beneath the blanket, Nala kept thinking about her, about this huge loft with its exposed beams and the cold nature of the brick walls.
Lots of people found this intellectually stimulating, but Nala wanted to run back to the craftsman house with its potheads and sink piled with dirty dishes. At least it felt human.
There’s another human here, you know. Nala certainly knew that, but it was hard to reconcile her need to put barriers between her and Varen and her need for companionship.
“I’m ridiculous.” Nala sat up, tossing the blanket aside. The pillow held fast between her fingers as she dragged it across the hardwood floors, her feet taking her to the spiral staircase and to a fate she never signed up for.
“Hey there.”
Varen was sitting up in bed, lamp on and tablet displaying some important missive, Nala was sure. When she glanced at it as she climbed onto the other side of the bed and put the pillow back in its rightful place, she realized it was a novel. Even tech geeks read before bed.
“Hey.” Nala was glad she didn’t ask about her sudden appearance.
Either that was Varen’s personality, or she knew her well enough by now to know not to say a damn thing.
Thank God. Nala sighed as she lay in a comfortable bed and instantly felt cozier.
It helped to have a warm human by her side.
Plus, the lofted bedroom brought her closer to the ceiling and some nearby walls. She already felt better.
Within a few minutes, Varen put her tablet on the nightstand and turned off the lamp. She got properly into bed, shaking it enough to wake Nala back up again. She stared into the darkness. She felt and smelled the woman she had given herself to enough times by now.
Don’t do it. Don’t do it.
She did it.
“We’re not having sex,” Nala insisted, curling her arm around Varen’s abdomen and resting her head against that soft, pillowy chest. “I’m going to sleep, okay?”
“I’m not in the mood for sex either.”
Nala snorted against Varen’s bra. “Like you would say no if I went for it right now?”
“I said I’m not in the mood. I said nothing about it.”
“I’m pretty sure one influences the other.”
Fingers brushed against Nala’s hairline, lulling her deeper into slumber. Fuck me. I’m falling for this. Maybe not for her… but definitely this. “You might be surprised.”
“Good night, Ven.”
“Good night… Nala.”
Nala pulled the blankets up until they nearly touched her nose. Between the heat of their bodies and the scent of Varen’s clean skin, Nala convinced herself that this might be normal. After that, sleeping was easy.
Entry 12
Nightingale moved in with me yesterday. I had to force my hand, since the moment I saw her deplorable living conditions… what other choice did I have? I could not – would not – let someone live like that if I had the chance to change it.
So now her things are in my house, and for the first time, we shared a bed for a night. At first, she insisted on sleeping on the couch, but within five minutes she was in my bed, in my arms, and feeling like she belonged there.
It was also the night I gave her the collar. At first, I had it made solely for The Aviary… but now that she’s living with me, I can’t help but wonder if there will be other chances to see it around her throat.
I am more devil than human now. There will come some night soon when I will have to claim her once and for all. I’ll show her what it means to submit to me, the new Varen. It scares me as much as it should liberate me. I don’t know what I’m capable of.