Chapter 33
The day Nala received her super-expedited passport was the day she and Varen also received an apologetic letter from Ravenwood informing them that the trip to Cancun was canceled “for personal reasons.” Instead, he invited his club members to join him on his ranch down south for the weekend.
This wasn’t what surprised Nala the most. What did was the transportation Varen arranged to take them down near Salem. Well, she didn’t arrange it. She merely announced that they would be sharing a car with Lucian and Robin, their two designated buddies in the club.
While this suited Varen fine since it meant she didn’t have to drive, Nala was more anxious than usual.
Her time in the car before a club meeting was when she put her game face on and got into the headspace of Nightingale.
Being picked up in a stretch limo with Robin already shrieking and Lucian making one bawdy joke after another meant she had to be “on” from the moment she stepped out of Varen’s loft, wearing a brand-new outfit:
a knee-length A-line dress with a faux-fur coat that made her look like a puffy blackbird as opposed to a nightingale.
She and Varen climbed into the modest limo – if there was such a thing – before hauling ass out of town to the tune of laughter and a champagne bottle popping.
It was almost too much energy for her to handle.
Robin and Lucian were a loud couple when left to their own devices.
Their voices naturally carried, especially in such a small space, and their movements clacked, clanged, and banged as if they were giants tearing through a village.
Varen looked completely unfazed as she leaned back in her seat.
She looks too casual for this. Since they would be outside on a ranch, the dominants were asked to mind anything too formal or likely to get dirty.
So Varen wore one of her pairs of business trousers and an expensive linen shirt beneath a puffy Columbia Sportswear jacket.
All very nice enough for a play date outdoors, but a far cry from the formal clothes she usually wore to the Aviary.
Nala had to look away from Varen multiple times that evening.
Things are both so awesome and so weird right now.
Ever since their incredibly passionate night, they had barely said more than was necessary to one another – although this did include the occasional words of affection and light, playful admonishments.
Yet Nala understood that there was a fundamental change between them.
They may have kept to themselves, but the air was different.
Varen was much more relaxed around her. She spoiled Nala with her favorite foods and let her decide what video games they played and what movies they watched.
Because I’m her girlfriend now. They never discussed it after the fact.
As Nala came to understand, they were the type of couple who didn’t use words to communicate much.
Between Nala’s monthly maladies and Varen diving head-first into a new project at work, they didn’t see that much of each other anyway.
This was the first time, however, they were in public. Sure, Lucian and Robin already thought of them as an established couple, but Nala wasn’t lying anymore. She really was Varen’s girlfriend, and she had no idea what to do.
At first, she relied on what she knew Nightingale would do, such as offering to pour her Mistress’s champagne in a moving vehicle.
But Nightingale wasn’t overly affectionate.
Neither was Nala, although, by the time they were on the freeway heading south, she felt the extreme urge to reach across the seat and touch that fine lining beneath Varen’s jacket.
Nobody said anything as Nala lost her seatbelt and climbed into Varen’s sideways embrace.
This is so weird! She was genuinely happy to be there, against Varen’s body, and taking refuge in the safety she offered.
But it was weird having Robin nudge her boyfriend with a giggle on her lips as if to say, “Look at those lovebirds. Why don’t you cuddle me like that?”
Is this really so bad? Nala wasn’t happy about where they were going or who they would see, but in the precious hour it took them to get to Ravenwood’s ranch, she relaxed in the company of her girlfriend and their friends.
These aren’t bad people. They’re a bit much, but they’re playing a game like we are.
Lucian tended to take his jokes too far, and Robin had the most annoying laugh in the universe, but they were genuine to a fault.
Even when they grew serious enough to apologize for trying to drunkenly start an orgy the last time they met, Nala could tell that they really were embarrassed.
It also opened the conversation where Nala expressed she wasn’t interested in Lucian “like that,” and was unlikely to ever be interested in any man in the club.
While she didn’t prescribe a label to herself, it was important to know at least one man in The Aviary would respect her boundaries.
Lucian apologized some more. Robin glanced at Varen and bluntly asked, “But I’ve got a chance with you, right, Ms. Lake? I’ve got a feeling you like lots of women.”
Nala jabbed her elbow against Varen’s side. “Oh, yeah, this one’s gay. Like, gaaaay.”
Varen glared at Nala, protecting the bruised spot in her ribs. “You get to speak for me?”
“When it’s that obvious? Duh.”
The more Nala loosened up, drank some champagne, and laughed at tasteless jokes, the more she felt like a normal girl. Someone who went out with her girlfriend. Someone who had friends she wasn’t afraid to be herself around… and someone who was happy.
The way Varen danced her fingers upon her throat as they went down the freeway made her shiver. The way she kissed her when she didn’t think anyone was looking was exhilarating – and then awkward, because Robin shrieked and told her boyfriend to kiss her like that.
It was the greatest shame that the good feelings eventually had to come to an end because they arrived at the ranch.
The driver opened the doors to reveal a bright, clear night with few chills.
Nala still hugged her coat to her body as Varen led her to the ranch house, where the surly butler pointed them to the party out back.
Whoever threw Ravenwood’s soirees needed a raise.
Beautiful white Christmas lights lined the large open space; cushy chairs and carefully laid out tables full of candles and snacks awaited them.
Music played from small speakers while warm breezes flitted through.
Best of all, Xan Ravenwood was nowhere to be seen.
While more guests arrived, the butler informed them that their host would be late “due to personal reasons,” and for them to enjoy the three courses of supper without him.
It was like any other dinner party without that man around.
Some people Nala liked more than others, but for the most part, she enjoyed the roast brought out for them to savor.
Without Ravenwood around to inspect their every move, some of the behaviors shifted.
The only women going out of their way to coddle their dominants were Quail and Robin, and one was a lot quieter about it than the other.
Maggie and Jay barely interacted, as if they detested each other.
Starling and Josephine were painfully normal, with Starling whining and Josephine giving in to one demand after another.
Nala and Varen? They were the most publicly lovey-dovey they had ever been before.
Some people commented on it, but the only one who caught Nala’s eye was Maggie, who studied the way they acted as if she were writing a dissertation about it.
During dessert, Nala caught a glimpse of a shadow in one of the ranch house windows. At first, she ignored it, then she looked again, realizing that the figure was none other than Xan Ravenwood surveying his dolls through a pair of opera glasses.
"Varen," she hissed. "It’s him. Ravenwood. He’s watching us."
Varen looked away from her conversation. "He means business," was all she muttered before going back to her dessert and laughing at a joke.
Business, huh? What kind of business? This wasn’t the perch of a voyeur.
This was a man spying on them, looking for a wrong move, a wrong glance.
Nala had to keep her eyes on her plate instead of meeting Ravenwood head-on, hair bristling on her neck and heart racing like a hummingbird’s.
The only things keeping her safe were Varen beside her and the nightingale charm resting on her chest.
Nala and Varen were the only ones not surprised when Ravenwood showed up a few minutes later, giving his apologies and brushing away any concerns. He sat at the head of the table and thanked everyone for coming. His eyes lingered for a long, long time on Nala.
What does he know? The amount of judgment shooting in her direction was unreal.
"I still think you look very familiar, Miss Nightingale," he said in a low voice as the dessert plates were taken away. "I know you insist that we have never met before you joined The Aviary, but my eyes know."
Nala tried to brush his comment off with a placating giggle, but neither she nor Ravenwood believed it.
Luckily, he dropped it after that, but Nala felt his watchful eyes on her all night, even when she buried her face in Varen’s chest during a toast and acted like a kitten around Josephine.
Her flirtations were subtle, but not unlike her – not too much.
The more she stood in the wake of Xan Ravenwood, the more she realized he knew more than he let on.
Does he know who I am? Nala broke away from Varen to talk to Robin about absolutely nothing. Their laughter and sweet talk did nothing to drive Ravenwood away. Is he going to do something to me?
But Ravenwood didn’t do much of anything there on his private, isolated ranch.
Hell, he could have had them all killed with the rain of hellfire, and nobody would ever know.
So why wasn’t he using this to his advantage?
Did he cancel the trip to Cancun so he could bring them out here to the middle of nowhere and start things all over again?
The shows began after everyone had enough time to digest dinner.
Tables were cleared away so Lucian and Robin could properly demonstrate what happens when a woman’s aroused body is exposed to the outdoor elements.
Starling and Josephine went as far as they usually did, and Varen did not stop herself from rubbing the inside of Nala’s thigh and whispering that she would very much like to do some of that to her.
Nala could not return her flirtations because she was too weirded out.
Ravenwood retired early, stating the usual "personal reasons."
He encouraged his guests to stay as late as they wanted but warned that there weren’t many available rooms in the ranch house.
That was code for "go back to where you come from."
Nala looked forward to getting back into the limo and returning to Portland, but Lucian and Robin were busy.
So busy that Quail and Seba openly watched with haughty laughs threatening to burst from their lips over the absurdity of it all.
Nala wanted to wait for her friends, but Varen pulled her into expectant arms and covertly slipped her hand to where it touched her Mistress’s ass.
"Really?" Nala said. "Here?" Nala was a lot more comfortable than she used to be, but she would hardly say she was comfortable. Especially after the way Ravenwood was acting.
"No. Not here. Come with me."
When nobody was watching, Varen led Nala away from the after-party, deep into the black and empty fields that probably never saw a bovine or sheep in their lives.
On any other night, Nala would find her girlfriend lowering her to the soft grass and overtaking her beneath a blanket of twinkling stars the craziest thing ever.
Except it didn’t feel crazy. The moment Varen put her mouth on her and started moving clothing out of the way was the moment Nala realized Varen was doing this to take her mind off dark and terrible things.
Me too, probably.
Nala never closed her eyes. She looked up into the real chasm of stars, feeling Varen do whatever she needed to stay sane.
Nala’s skirt hiked above her hips. Her lingerie tore away to expose her to the chilly night air.
Busts were pulled down so her breasts could welcome Varen’s teeth and tongue.
The only foreplay they needed was the rush this gave them.
Nala didn’t cry out when Varen fingered her, but she breathed heavily, containing her sounds while raising her hips to meet Varen’s touch.
Out there, in the wild, beneath the stars, and with a cool breeze caressing her skin, Nala felt the freest a woman could expect. Someone was always watching – that was the nature of this game, but she didn’t care. Let them all watch from afar.
"Remember," Varen whispered, "You belong to me. I will protect you."
Nala enjoyed her low-key pleasure while enjoying Varen’s more. The way she growled into Nala’s shoulder and the ground. The way her fingers thrust into Nala, unrelenting. The way she smothered Nala against the grass. Grass that would never hurt anybody.
"Fuck me," Nala muttered. "This is going to kill us."
"Maybe, but I’ll die knowing it was worth it."
Whether Varen meant her or Ravenwood, Nala didn’t know. She also didn’t care.
Entry 15
Something ominous hangs in the air. My vigilance is lacking, however.
Where I should be spotting threats, I only see Nightingale, luring me to her.
The taste of normalcy, of happiness I had tonight was beyond anything I could have ever hoped for again.
Friends and a partner. It’s too good to be true.
But as always, I am haunted. By Xan Ravenwood and his crimes.
I can’t lose sight of avenging Desiree’s death. Only then can I truly move on.