Chapter 45 #3
Particularly, she listened to Varen’s intonations and the words she used depending on who she was talking to.
She called Lucian every day, either reassuring the frayed man or instilling a fear of God into him.
He was their #1 ally in Portland, for as much as that meant.
Lucian would do whatever he thought was safest for him and Robin. Or were they calling her Clara now?
Why was she listening so closely? Nala didn’t care about the contents of the conversations.
She cared about how they made her feel, on the most carnal level.
Which words did her in? Which ones could be twisted in delightfully dirty ways?
Ooh, I like it when she sounds a little sinister.
That came out when she spoke to lawyers, none of whom would commit to helping Varen and Nala take down a multi-billionaire with a shitton of connections.
Of course, doing this sent her deeper into her research.
Thank goodness, because she was tired of obsessing over the terrible shit going on in the background of her life.
Nala didn’t need constant reminders that a powerful man out there wanted her dead.
Nor did she want reminders that people she loved were dead or in danger in the hospital.
Nor did she want to feel that creeping paranoia whenever she thought of other members of The Aviary.
At that rate, she would be bothering Varen to fire Andrew before he turned out to be an agent of Xan too!
No, she was perfectly happy to escape into her world of…
what? Erotic fantasies? On one hand, Nala researched and wrote some of the darkest shit she ever braved.
On the other, it was a welcomed reprieve from the realities around her.
There would be plenty of time to take stock of what was happening in the world beyond her mind.
This week did not have to be one of them.
Every once in a while, Varen asked her how it was coming along and if she would be done anytime soon.
Nala brushed her off and returned to doing what she did best - getting them into more trouble she would consequently have to get them out of again.
This time it’s me getting us into trouble.
She wanted to laugh, but the reality was they very well could get into some trouble with what she had planned.
The more her script came together? The more she started looking at Varen through new eyes.
Would she do it? Or would she take a look at her dark words, dark dialogue, and darker actions before running far away from her?
People think we’re such delicate creatures.
Whether they built that world for themselves was not part of Nala’s internal debate.
Plus, even though Varen often saw her tough side, she probably still saw Nala as a fragile waif in need of eternal protection.
The moment she read this script once it was done?
Who knew if that would change… if she would see her in a new, albeit dark, light.
I wouldn’t be writing it this way if I didn’t know she had it in her too.
Nala had felt the possessive power of the way Varen made love to her.
She knew how she could make her hate the simple act of walking for a day.
She often said it herself: she could turn into more beast than woman.
The more Nala thought about that, the easier it became to slip into her day-long fantasies and fill her cheap notebook with the twisted shit she cooked in her brain.
One otherwise quiet day - after they had switched hotels for the sixth time since coming to Seattle - Varen received a check from Lucian made out to one of the fake names.
Nala only saw a glimpse of the amount, but it made her eyebrows go up.
What a world it was when a millionaire couldn’t risk withdrawing money from her account and had to have a rich friend forward her some cash to be paid back later.
Nala waited for some downtime in both of their work to go up to her girlfriend and ask for a hundred dollars. Two, if she could spare it.
“What do you need that much money for?” Varen asked. “We don’t need anything.”
Nala still put her hand out expectantly. “I need supplies for this thing I’m working on. Trust me. You’ll love it.”
“Are you sure you’re focusing on the right thing?”
“What should I be focusing on otherwise? You haven’t given me anything to do.”
Reluctantly, Varen gave her some cash and told her not to stray too far from their block.
At least she wasn’t insisting on going with her.
Maybe she’s getting too complacent. Varen had looked up the crash they were almost involved in a few days ago.
One of the victims who ended up in the hospital with a concussion and broken everything was none other than Hawk.
She had also been arrested for reckless driving and possessing an unlicensed firearm.
Out on bail and under house arrest in Xan’s mansion in the West Hills…
which meant she probably wasn’t coming up for them anytime soon, assuming she knew where they were.
But Nala wasn’t going to give herself much room to breathe.
Maybe today, but definitely not tomorrow.
She was careful, as always, making sure her hood was up wherever she went.
In the Pacific Northwest, that was normal and didn’t bring her any unwanted attention - it also meant people had a hard time identifying her, especially with fake IDs.
So when she went out to do her fantasy role-play shopping, she allowed herself to breathe for a whole four hours before going back to her and Varen’s hideout.