Chapter 50
Splendor was the word of choice as Nala lay in bed, exhausted, her eyes glued – albeit hazily – to the ceiling as Varen gently kissed her skin and rubbed her aching muscles.
No pain mattered. Not even the words entering one ear and leaving the other.
Sometimes, Varen wrapped her body around Nala’s, fondling her and easing her legs open so she could lazily finger her from behind.
She didn’t care. She barely registered anything happening, even though Nala was there, she felt it, and every time she connected to her heart again.
“You’re beautiful,” Varen said more than once. “I love you. Do you love me? Everything will be okay, I promise. You were amazing. That was better than I thought it could be. Maybe next time I’ll write the script and you’ll see the depths of my own fantasies.”
The woman would not shut up. Eventually, Nala pushed her off and rolled over until her mouth met Varen’s soft and warm mound. Nala barely registered what they were doing as her tongue made love to her Mistress. The haze she traversed was laced with self-administering opiates.
Was this it? Was this the darkness she craved, manifested in untold ways?
Her thighs were sore. Her core ached for more of what Varen offered but knew she should hold off.
Her breasts tingled for her. Her mouth called to hers, wanting a million kisses that lingered on her lips and plunged deep into her throat.
There was no one in this world Nala trusted more than her.
Surely, there were others she could eventually trust, but why would she seek them out?
Even when their role-play came to an end because Varen told her she needed to embrace reality, Nala continued to stare at the ceiling and feel so, so fucking relieved that she no longer held onto the negativity plaguing her forever.
“I love you.” No matter how often she heard it, Nala remained unfazed. She managed a nod when Varen asked if she could make love to her once more, her body all around her as they kissed and undulated together beneath the covers.
Who knew how much time had passed when she felt Varen’s fingers grazing her forehead, detangling her hair, and touching her as lightly as her kisses? Nala didn’t care. She was so gone that she felt like she was drunk on the power it eventually gave her.
Eventually, she closed her eyes and dozed off, Varen’s hands still all over her. She went to sleep feeling like more than a supernatural bride. She was Varen’s very real partner. Nala was her Nightingale, a shadowy agent of change – and, most of all, rebirth.
Nala awoke sore but refreshed. She rolled over in the big hotel bed, opening her eyes to find Varen sitting on the floor in front of the French doors leading out to a balcony that was too cold to visit tonight.
She gazed at her for a long time, mesmerized by the lines and curves of her body. She looked like she was meditating, although she did nothing more than sit cross-legged with her hands on her knees. Or maybe she was enjoying the clear night sky.
“How are you doing?” Wow, my voice is hoarse.
Varen slightly turned her head. “Better than ever. You? I thought I lost you for a while.”
Nala inhaled deeply, filling her body with the air it desperately needed. “Not doing too bad at all. I got what I wanted.”
“Good.” Varen stood, her softened countenance turning toward Nala. “So did I.”
Nala pushed herself up, tangled hair falling across her face and twisting on the pillow. “Do we have a new plan? Or am I still going to Indianapolis in a couple of days?”
Varen came to her, hand instantly reaching for her cheek. “More than ever I want you to be safe. Tonight was fantastic, but once we leave this hotel tomorrow, we’re back to being on the run. Some people want us dead. I won’t let them lay a hand on you, so help me.”
“Hm.” Nala didn’t say anything beyond that.
She invited Varen into bed with her, where they made love once more, her body calling to Varen in ways it honestly did not need to bear anymore.
Nala ignored the aching muscles and soreness elsewhere.
She knew that, come two days, it may be a long time before she made love to her soulmate again. If ever.
Nala didn’t want to start the next phase of their renewed relationship with a lie.
Yet she lied when Varen asked if she would go to Indianapolis.
“Of course I will,” she said. Of course she wouldn’t.
Nala and Nightingale were truly one now.
Nala wanted to run away to safety and think of only her girlfriend, but Nightingale knew that her battle was not yet over.
The mourning bird did not stop singing when justice was so within reach.
Entry 25
Even if I never see Nightingale again, I can say that I regret nothing.
I love her. I will do everything in my power to protect her. The most damning thing, however, is that I have so much more money now than when Desirée… yet it doesn’t seem like enough. I feel like I’ll never have enough money or power to protect the ones I love.
But I can do this for her. I can send her where she will be safe. Where I can keep an eye on her, even if she can’t see me.
It won’t be much of a way to live… but it is better than the alternative. I will do it because I love her more than I have any right to love anyone these days.
If that man lays one hand on her…
No, I can’t think about that. I can only think about her. And how much I love her.
This will probably be my final entry. I want to end it here, because whatever happens next? Doesn’t matter. All that matters is right now. This moment.
I’ve never felt so free.