Chapter Thirteen
Donnie lay in bed, staring at the ceiling.
Well, his head faced the ceiling. He was losing hope.
Everyone kept telling him to stay positive and be patient, but shouldn't he be seeing some improvement by now?
Shadows. Lights. Something? He was struggling to keep his shit together.
Scared and alone, despite the team rallying around him.
Don’t push your team away. You’ll only be alone if you choose to be.
Tracer’s word rattled in his head. He was trying, but it wasn’t easy. His temper was short. Even speaking to his folks and Charlie had been a challenge.
He’d handled the call with Charlie all wrong and now she wouldn't answer him.
He couldn't exactly text her. He didn’t want to tell her he was blind.
He could barely admit it to himself, and he sure as hell didn't want her pity.
He didn't want her to see him as the shadow of the man he was when he left her in Toronto.
He hadn't told his folks the whole truth either. Just that he’d been hurt and had a bad concussion.
As he’d thought, they wanted to come to Coronado.
He had managed to put them off, saying he needed rest and quiet, and the team were looking after him.
And they were. All the guys had called and checked in.
Not knowing the time, he had no idea how long he had been asleep.
He listened, catching birdsong outside. He couldn’t hear the elevator, or neighbors leaving for work, so it had to be early morning.
Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he reached out, feeling for the bedside table.
His hand found the cane Mackie had left there.
He swiped at it and heard it crash to the floor. No fucking way was he using that.
He stood and shuffled slowly toward the door, mentally picturing his condo in his head. Feeling for the doorknob, he opened it and stepped into the hallway. He turned gingerly, holding onto the opposite wall and felt his way forward, until his hand landed on the frame of the bathroom door.
It took an eternity to get inside, find the toilet, and do his business. At least he heard his pee tinkle into water, meaning his aim was good. He made his way to the kitchen.
“Hey, man, how did you sleep?” Mackie asked.
“OK. What time is it?”
“Five-thirty.”
“Did you get some sleep?”
“Yeah, I did, on your couch. It’s pretty comfy.”
Donnie grunted, wishing he didn’t need a babysitter.
“I take it there’s no change?” Mackie asked.
“No.”
“I just made coffee. I’ll get you some. I'm going to head back to my place for a shower and change of clothes. Will you be good alone for a bit? Or you can come with me?”
“I’ll be fine.”
He smelled the coffee Mackie placed in front of him.
Then he managed to get himself onto a bar stool.
The team often trained in complete darkness without NVGs.
He never thought he’d be using that training for this purpose, but he was conscious how acute his other senses had become.
Every little noise was louder. Every smell stronger. Even the coffee tasted different.
“I’ve put the TV remote in front of you in case you want to listen to the news or something.” Donnie heard the dull clack of the remote’s plastic casing against his countertop.
“Thanks. Are there any new messages on my phone?” he asked, hoping Charlie might have called.
“Nothing. It’s early. Only idiots like us are up at this time.”
Except it was eight-thirty in New York.
“No training today?”
“Nope. Sam told us to take the day.”
Donnie sipped his coffee.
“Alright. Behave yourself. I’ll be back soon.” Mackie called out, then the door opened and closed. He was alone. The quietness was deafening.
His stomach grumbled. Maybe he would make some cereal.
He found his way to the cupboards, pleased with himself as he successfully got a bowl, a spoon, and poured some cereal.
Opening the fridge, it took a moment to find milk, but he got that, too.
Feeling for the bowl, he poured. The milk splashed cold against his arm and then it was on his feet.
Shit! He went to put down the carton, missed the counter, and the carton exploded onto the floor.
With a roar of rage, Donnie grabbed the bowl and threw it.
The sound of it smashing against a wall echoed in the room.
Body trembling, he slumped, collapsing on the wet tile floor, and buried his head in his hands.
He would willingly walk toward an armed enemy, jump out of an airplane, tackle a man twice his size.
But this? Fear crawled its way through his body and sweat broke out on his skin as panic engulfed him.
***
MACKIE JOGGED UP THE stairs to his second-floor unit in the building adjacent to Donnie’s. Man, he felt for his friend. Couldn’t even begin to imagine what Donnie must be feeling. He’d lost friends in combat, but had never seen a teammate in the position Donnie was facing.
He and the rest of Onyx were hanging on to the thread that Donnie’s blindness was temporary. All things considered, Donnie had been holding it together fairly well. Yeah, he’d been a bit of a moody bastard, but at least he was getting up and getting dressed. He hadn’t completely given up hope.
As he reached his floor, Mackie walked past the elevator. The door opened and a little girl ran out, straight into him. She looked up at him and froze.
“Ella! What have I told you about running.” A voice came from the elevator and Mackie glanced over to see a young woman balancing two bags of groceries in her arms. Mom, he presumed. Damn, it was kind of early for a shopping trip.
The little girl was still staring at him, her eyes wide and fearful. Fear did not belong on a child’s face. He’d seen way too much of it in his career.
“It’s OK. No harm done.” He smiled down at the child who backed away, hiding behind Mom. She played with one of her brown pigtails, still watching him warily.
“I’m so sorry. She’s not used to elevators and thinks they’re an amusement ride.
” The woman gave him a tentative smile. An air of sadness about her.
Mackie didn't recognize her from the building, he would have remembered seeing her before.
Her brown eyes were so dark, they were almost black, matching her black hair.
This woman was striking with her small pixie face and high cheekbones. Yep, definitely not seen her before.
“Ahh, we like amusements, do we?” He smiled, turning his attention to the young girl. She nodded tentatively. He looked back at mom. “I have a unit on this floor. Let me help you with one of those,” he said.
“Oh, no. That’s OK. I got it.” She stepped forward and one of the bags slipped. Mackie grabbed it before the groceries spilled on the floor.
The woman sighed. “Thank you.” Her voice so quiet he only just heard it.
“No problem at all. Let me help you. You don’t want that lovely fresh fruit hitting the floor.”
She looked at him with the same wariness in her eyes that her daughter had. He kept hold of the bag and waited.
“Alright, thank you.”
He smiled and fell in behind her as she walked down the hall trying not to stare at her ass enclosed in skinny jeans. She held the hand of her daughter, who kept glancing back at him, still looking nervous. He winked at her and kept smiling, trying to put her at ease.
“So, are you visiting someone? Not seen you around here before,” he asked.
“We just moved in, last week.” She stopped outside the unit opposite his. Fuck, he didn’t even know the guy had moved out. Mackie had only met him a few times, he’d been some kind of day trader and didn't leave the apartment much.
She opened the door and stepped in. He waited outside until she came back to the doorway and took the bag from him.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I’m John Mackenzie, but my friends call me Mackie. I live in the apartment opposite.” He held out his hand as he nodded across the hall.
“Oh. Right. Nice to meet you.” She adjusted the bag until it was in just one hand and shook his politely. “I’m Lisa, and this is my daughter Ella.” Ella was clinging to her mom’s leg.
Mackie crouched down so he was at eye level with Ella. “It’s nice to meet you, Ella.” He held out his hand, but Ella just stared at him.
“Sorry. She’s nervous with strangers.”
“Don’t be sorry, it’s not a bad thing.” He lowered his hand. “How old are you, Ella?”
Instead of answering him, she held up her hand, showing all five fingers.
“Five, huh? So, you must be just starting school?”
Ella didn't answer and Mackie stood, not wanting to make the child any more uncomfortable than she already was.
“I didn’t even know this unit was empty. Been away with work a little recently.”
The tentative smile was back but she didn't say anything. Mackie’s gaze was drawn to her lips. Her mouth was small, delicate, like the rest of her. He stepped back before he did or said something stupid.
“Well, it was nice to meet you both. I’m sure I’ll see you around. If you need anything, don't hesitate to knock.”
“Thank you for the help with the bags.”
“Anytime.”
Lisa closed the door on him and Mackie turned to unlock his own and stepped into his apartment. Lisa was definitely a pretty addition to the building. He hadn't seen a ring on her finger. Was Ella’s dad in the picture? Guess he’d find out soon enough.
Mackie quickly showered and put on fresh clothes. He planned to grab breakfast for him and Donnie from the cafe across the street before heading back.
Thirty minutes later, he let himself into Donnie's unit.
“Hey, buddy, I’m back,” he called out as he closed the door.
Turning, he immediately saw the milk on the floor.
Shit. He stepped further in, gaze sweeping the room, taking in the smashed bowl.
Cereal splattered everywhere. His eyes landed on Donnie sitting on the floor, head leaned back against the fridge, eyes red. Fuck.
Mackie placed the paper bag with their breakfast on the island. Crouching, he placed a hand on Donnie’s arm.
“Guess you got hungry?” He kept his voice light. His friend wouldn’t take kindly to sympathy.
“Still am,” he mumbled.
“Good job I brought breakfast burritos then. Come on. Let’s eat.” He took Donnie’s hand and pulled him to his feet.
“I can’t fucking do this, Mackie.”
“Bullshit. You can and you will. You spilled some milk. Big deal. At least you tried. Now sit your ass down and have the burrito before it gets cold.” Mackie placed the breakfast in front of him.
“Sorry about the mess.”
“Shut up and eat. I’ll clean it up in a minute. First, let me tell you about my sexy new neighbor.”
Mackie told him about Lisa and Ella more to get Donnie’s mind off what happened than anything else.
“Don't mess with a single mom, bro. Not fair on the kid,” Donnie said.
“I know. I’m not a complete moron. I don’t know if she's a single mom. Dad might just be at work.”
“If she didn’t mention him. He's not around,” Donnie said, screwing up the breakfast wrapper. “It’s kinda early to be grocery shopping.”
“Yeah. Maybe they’re earlier risers, or she works shifts. She wasn’t very chatty, Anyway, what about Charlie? Tell me about her. What does she look like?”
“Why?”
“Jeez. Because she’s important to you and I’m curious.” And he wanted to keep Donnie’s mind on things that he cared about.
“Get my phone.”
Mackie picked it up off the counter. He had disabled the lock. “Got it.”
“Go to photos. Should be the last one.”
Mackie pulled up the photo and smiled. Donnie and Charlie were crouched on some kind of glass floor, laughing at the camera.
Their heads were touching, and Charlie was grasping Donnie’s right hand with both of hers as he took the selfie.
Her blue eyes were striking, and soft blond curls framed her face.
“She’s cute, man. Where are you?”
“CN Tower in Toronto on the glass floor. Charlie was terrified about stepping on it.”
“But she did it. Although, she looks like she was holding on to you for dear life.”
When Donnie chuckled, Mackie looked up, surprised. Donnie had barely managed a smile since they left Germany.
“Yeah, it took some persuading.”
“You like her. I mean really like her, don’t you?”
Donnie’s smile faded. “I had my chance, and I lost it. Probably for the best now.” He stood. “I need a shower.”
“You want some help. I mean switching it on. Towels?”
“No. I got it. Got to get used to this. You won’t be here forever.”
“Alright. Tracer said he’d email you the photos. Want me to check?”
“Sure. I should be signed in already.”
Mackie watched his friend slowly move along the wall to the bathroom. He wished there was something more he could do. He quickly cleared up the mess and had just grabbed Donnie’s laptop when his phone rang.
“Morning, boss.”
“Mackie. How is he today?” Dex asked.
“Been a rough morning for him.” He heard the shower go on. At least he’d managed to do that. “The not knowing is killing him.”
“I bet. You want a break? I can come over.”
Mackie glanced at the closed bathroom door. “Maybe a bit later. I’m good right now, and I think Donnie could use a little more time before you guys show up.”
“Fair enough. Call me if that changes. We’re all here.”
“Will do. Any news on wheels up?” They still had an op to finish.
“Not yet. I’m seeing Sam later. Nyx are due to check in.”
Fucking Reborn. How the hell did they keep evading them?
“Alright. Say hi to Kelly and we’ll touch base later.”
“You got it.”
The shower was still going as Mackie opened Donnie’s laptop. He’d already disabled the fingerprint lock on it for ease. The email from Tracer was there. He clicked, opening the pictures. Holy shit.