Chapter 42
Chapter
Forty-Two
Hope’s phone buzzed on the nightstand in between the beds.
She flicked her gaze to it and then to Eva, who sat comfortably playing on her Nintendo Switch.
Hope stared at the name on the phone and debated whether or not to answer.
But filming was done, and they were setting up for the wrap party while tearing down all of the equipment and supplies they’d brought and packing it into the trucks, which meant that Hope had very little to do for the next hour.
“Hello?” Hope put the phone to her ear, her voice raspy from the hours of talking she’d done earlier in the day and the exhaustion that settled into her bones.
It seemed to always be this way at the end of filming a season.
And she wasn’t sure it’d ever change. It was a wild ride of emotion, stress, and intensity.
“Hey,” Rachel replied, and stopped talking.
They hadn’t really agreed to talk now, which was why Hope hadn’t been sure she’d wanted to answer. They were supposed to talk when filming was done, which it technically was, but Hope needed at least a dash of prayer for recovery before diving deep into this conversation.
“Mom’s asking about Easter,” Rachel said, just dropping that bomb into the conversation.
The hairs on the back of Hope’s neck rose up.
Easter? Sure it was coming up in a week or two, and it was always a big to-do at their house which usually included the one time a year that Hope went to mass.
But her mom hadn’t mentioned anything the couple times they’d talked throughout the filming season.
Hope’s silence must have been too long, because Rachel jumped back in nervously. “Mom, uh… wanted to know if you were coming this year.”
“Mom did? Or you did?” Where had that bold confidence come from?
Before, Hope probably would have skirted around those questions and asked different ones to get to the root of what she wanted to know.
But she was tired and didn’t have time for that.
Or maybe she was just over toying with the bullshit that was Rachel these days.
“We all do.” Rachel’s voice had a patronizing tone that immediately put Hope’s back up.
“That’s not what I asked, and you know it’s not.
” Hope flicked her gaze to Eva to see how much of this she was picking up on.
She could step out into the hallway, but that wouldn’t necessarily give her any more privacy than this.
But it might prevent Eva from picking up on the specifics of the tension.
“Mom wants to know.”
Hope nodded her head to herself, pressing her lips together hard.
That was exactly what she’d suspected. Rachel wanted to know, and she was pushing it off on their mom.
Because if Mom wanted to know, she would have just asked Hope to begin with, and she probably would.
But she knew that Hope was still filming and wasn’t going to ask until they got back to Los Angeles. Hope sighed heavily.
“I told you that you and I could work on our problems when I was done with filming.” Hope ran her fingers through her short hair and relaxed back into the pillows on the bed, her knees bent at an angle.
She kept her gaze on Eva, remembering that her daughter was the main reason that she was considering this.
Eva deserved to grow up with her family around and not be isolated from them.
“You’re not done yet?” Rachel squeaked.
“No, I’m not.” Hope breathed in deeply, trying to contain her frustration. Had Rachel always been this bad with boundaries? Had Hope just not recognized it before now? “Why are you calling?”
Hope really had no patience tonight. And she should have recognized that well before she took this call.
“You said we could talk, so when I didn’t hear from you about scheduling a time, I thought I’d call to make the time.”
God, her sister was such a… Hope wasn’t even sure she could come up with a word for that right now. But this entire situation was something else entirely. Hope had never imagined that Rachel would become this person. Then again, maybe she’d always been this way and Hope was just now witnessing it.
“You were a bitch in San Diego, an absolute tool, and you crossed so many lines that I’m not sure we can come back from them.” Hope looked at Eva again, the headphones perfectly on her ears so she wasn’t hearing anything.
“That’s a bit harsh.”
“No, I don’t think it is.” Hope wiggled her toes under the blanket. “You chose my husband’s side in everything, as if I was the sole person making mistakes and fucking up. And you know what? It takes two to make a marriage and typically two to break it. He’s not innocent in this.”
The silence was long and tense. Hope’s heart raced. But this was everything she’d wanted to say to Rachel for a year now.
“I know that… now.” Rachel muttered the last word as if Hope wouldn’t actually hear it.
Rolling her eyes, Hope tossed her head back into the pillow and just breathed.
This was going to take a lot out of her, and she was so tired of playing games.
“Here’s the deal, Rach. I’m not sure we’re going to go back to the way things were before.
Right now, I have zero desire to see you or be around you.
You treated me like dirt for an entire year.
You told me everything was my fault, and for a time, I believed you. I believed everything.”
“You cheated on him,” Rachel interrupted her.
Hope groaned and clenched her teeth together. “Is that going to be your response to everything?”
“You’re going to have to convince me that you didn’t.”
“Did Rex tell you that I cheated?” Hope held her breath, hoping that she was trusting Rex to have held to the truth of the matter. He might have been mad and made stupid decisions like she did, but he wasn’t ever someone who wouldn’t tell the truth when he knew it.
“No.”
That answer solidified Rex in Hope’s mind and heart. He truly was a good person underneath all of his problems, all of the baggage that he brought into their relationship, and all the struggles they’d endured.
“Rex and I made the decision together to open our marriage, and I know you don’t understand that. It’s not something you’d do, but we did it.”
“And came to regret it.”
Hope sighed heavily. “Yes, Rach, I think both of us came to regret it. But your opinion on the matter doesn’t really have any weight.
Because it was my marriage, not yours. And Rex and I talked about it before we did it.
We were having issues and problems well before then. I just didn’t tell you about them.”
And why was that? She’d always thought of Rachel as her best friend, but she’d withheld that information from Rachel for years. Hope worried her lower lip, and she looked again at Eva, at her beautiful baby and the best thing to come out of that marriage that had failed so spectacularly.
That should have been the first tip-off that things weren’t right between her and Rachel, but then again, she was always good at avoiding the truth. Maybe Carol or Evelyn could offer some extra insight into why Rachel was acting this way. Hope settled into the bed.
“You allowing Rex to stay with you after we separated, letting Eva be there, and then not telling me about it when you knew I was frantic? That’s unforgivable to me, nearly.
You’d have to prove that you truly thought I was a danger to her, and I’m not sure how you’ll prove that.
” Hope listened for any guilt or admission of Rachel’s failures in her response, but instead she was met with silence.
“Look,” Hope started, frustration filling her voice “You can either talk with me or not, but if you’re not willing to budge on anything you think, then I really don’t understand the point of this phone conversation.”
“You’re not budging.”
“I don’t have to.” Hope snapped her mouth shut. She hadn’t expected herself to say that, but she was certainly sliding into old habits now. “I don’t need you to be a part of my life, Rach. I’m doing perfectly fine without you.”
“No, you’re not.”
“I am,” Hope reaffirmed. “My life is going really well. Rex and I have found a balance, and we’re working well together and co-parenting well.
We’re good, actually, we’re really good.
” Hope bit her lip, as she waited to say the next part.
She hadn’t been certain she’d wanted to tell Rachel, but why the hell not?
She could get whatever reaction Rachel was going to have out of the way and deal with the consequences now rather than later. “And I’m dating again.”
“You’re what?” Rachel squeaked the accusation.
“Rex is too, so don’t just think it’s me.”
“Who are you dating? Are you sure you’re ready?”
Hope’s stomach churned. “I wasn’t sure in the beginning, no. But sometimes when a certain person walks into your life, you can’t deny the attraction or the love, and you just have to stop holding back from it.”
“You’re with her, aren’t you?” The sneer was there.
Hope’s stomach plummeted. “Yes, I am. We haven’t been together very long.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“You don’t have to.” Hope stared at the back of Eva’s head, wishing she could pull Eva over and snuggle with her, anything to make this conversation easier. “I’m in love, Rach.”
“Like you loved Rex?”
“No, it’s different. And we’re committed to trying to make this work.”
“To trying…” Rachel repeated.
“Not just to trying.” Hope groaned in frustration. She wasn’t doing this well. “We’re going to make it work. We’re just taking it slow and keeping it quiet for right now.”
“A secret? Just like it was a secret last year? When you were fucking another woman?”
Chills ran up Hope’s spine. “That was because people wouldn’t understand.”
“And you think they’re going to understand now?” Rachel’s voice rose.