Chapter 42 #2
“I need you to understand that I’m not going to give her up.
I’ve found love again, and I’m going to do everything in my power to honor and cherish the love that I’m receiving in return.
” Hope’s voice was strong, and as she said the words, the confidence settled into her chest. She’d meant every single thing she’d said.
“She’s the other woman, Hope.” Rachel’s voice dropped, and where Hope expected there to be anger, there wasn’t. Instead, she was greeted with a kind of acceptance she hadn’t found before.
“She never was.”
“That’s how other people will view it when they find out.”
“If they find out about before. But we haven’t been together since then until now. This is a fresh start, something without the complications that we put on it before.” Hope pinched the bridge of her nose. “I’m in love, Rach, and I’m going to fight for it.”
“I hope she’s fighting with you.”
“She is,” Hope answered. “She is fighting with me for us. And if you want to continue to fight with me, then I know where I’m going to put my energy, and it’s not into a relationship with you.”
“Hope…” Rachel choked on her name. “I don’t want to fight with you.
I want… I want us to figure this out. I know what happened in San Diego wasn’t my finest hour.
It was one of my worst, actually, and after?
I just kept putting myself in Rex’s shoes and letting him play the victim when he wasn’t.
But I’ve been there, Hope. I’ve been on the side of the victim in cheating, and it just struck a nerve that I couldn’t shake. ”
“So you hurt me in the process?”
“I did,” Rachel admitted. “I did hurt you, and I’m so sorry for that. I’ve been an idiot, and it’s taken me this long to admit that and to talk to you, which makes me even more of an idiot.”
“All right.” Hope steadied herself. “Then, when I get back to LA, we’ll talk. But right now I’m exhausted, and I still have this wrap party to go to, and I just need to get my head on straight so I can have small talk and be done with this season.”
“Okay,” Rachel whispered. “I love you.”
“Love you, too,” Hope said with a sigh. “Even when you’re an idiot.”
Rachel laughed. “Yeah, a huge idiot with an asshole complex.”
At least they were at this level now. It felt easier, as if the initial tension had finally broken and maybe they could start to talk in ways they hadn’t for the last year. But until that trust was rebuilt, Hope was always going to be on guard.
“Talk to you soon.” Hanging up, Hope moved her foot to touch Eva’s hip. “Babe, you need to take a shower for the night.”
Eva frowned. “Do I have to?”
“Yes, and then I’ll read you a fairytale bedtime story.”
“Okay!” Eva hopped down from the bed and walked to the bathroom.
Hope stared at her phone. She was supposed to be down for the wrap party in the next ten minutes, but she couldn’t make herself want to go.
Her feet were sore, her body ached, and her brain was so fuzzy with weariness, that the thought of even attempting to get up and go overwhelmed her.
She pulled up her texts with Angelica and made a decision.
Hope: I can’t come to the wrap party tonight.
Three little dots appeared and then disappeared on the screen. Then again. Was Angelica going to try to talk her into going, or worse yet, force her into it per her contract?
Angelica: Is everything okay?
Hope’s heart fluttered a little. A smile lit her lips, and she closed her eyes, just letting the warmth radiate through her.
Angelica was so different with her than everyone else.
How Hope hadn’t noticed that from the very beginning was beyond her.
Then again, she had never been accused of being someone who paid attention to details.
Hope: Everything’s fine. Just exhausted to the point I’m not sure I can get out of bed. And I’m not sure I can deal with Mark and Alexis drama tonight.
Angelica: I caught them making out in the office this morning.
Hope: Are you fucking kidding me?
She would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for that one, just so she could see Angelica’s discomfort and how she handled that situation. Also, she never would have figured that would happen.
Angelica: Nope. Rex caught it on camera. Not sure if it’ll end up in the final cut.
Hope: I’m going to ask him for the daily for that one.
Angelica: Rest up tonight. We have a long day of travel tomorrow.
Hope sighed, closing her eyes and letting the moment linger.
She never would have thought that Angelica would let her out of tonight that easily.
But she was glad to have texted her instead of anyone else.
She sent Rex a text, letting him know so he wouldn’t worry, and then she flipped through her Kindle to find the perfect story to read to Eva tonight.
This was exactly what she needed. Forget worrying about what-ifs that she couldn’t control, the ones that would send her down a spiral of what might happen when the world found out about her and Angelica.
She could focus on Eva and nothing else.
This was her home, no matter what.