Chapter 11 Lissa
The fire snapped, and Lissa glanced up from her crocheting.
The latest thick chunk of wood was still ablaze.
Though still glacial outside, it must be less cold because the room temperature remained comfortable.
Maybe tomorrow she’d have a chance to shovel snow and replenish her porch wood supply—they’d gone through more than anticipated with the intense cold snap.
She also needed to refill her water jugs.
Earlier, she’d cleared the path to the well house, anticipating the chore.
She glanced at Cam, reading in his usual place on the couch.
Already, his presence here seemed normal.
Something about his lack of guile made him seem familiar and safe.
Absentmindedly, he shoved his hair out of his eyes. Again.
“Would you like me to cut your hair?” The words slipped out before Lissa considered how they might be construed.
He raised his head, his stare warming her cheeks. “Have you cut hair before?”
“Not for a long time, but yes.” She bit her lip.
“I can’t promise a stellar job, but I can make the sides even and short enough to keep it out of your way.
” When he’d arrived, she couldn’t have imagined being comfortable enough to ask, but after several days inside together, she’d become acclimatized to his presence.
They’d read and played cards. A new level of familiarity buzzed between them, making him difficult to ignore.
Cam closed his latest book. “Okay. Right now?”
That’s it? He was trusting. Lissa jumped to her feet, pleased to have something different to do.
After being inside for days straight, she was restless and feeling cooped up.
Even the cats had barely ventured from her warm room, except to use the winter-used sand litter box kept in the kitchen.
She glanced around. Both cats had slipped out at some point this afternoon, perhaps to hunt elsewhere in the house—another sign of thawing temperatures.
“I’ll put hot water in the sink so you can wet your hair.” With oven mitts on, she poured the steaming water, leaving him to adjust the temperature.
While he followed her instructions, she collected her sharp scissors and placed a chair in the middle of the room where it would be easy for her to work from either side.
He slid onto the chair, tugging a second one closer to elevate his injured foot.
Already, with continued ice treatment in the evening and keeping off his feet, the swelling was reduced.
She checked it daily, and some of the more livid bruising had faded, leaving his ankle and foot pale purple with yellow and green smudges.
Lissa stood beside Cam. “How short would you like it?” Her voice came out breathy.
She cleared her throat, a blush creeping up her face.
Though she was used to Cam’s presence, touching him and standing so near seemed more personal than anticipated.
Up close, his scent was more than just clean and soap, but something masculine and faintly spicy that made her heart rate increase and her long-ignored sex drive take notice.
She swallowed. Cam was a handsome man, and standing this close was suddenly distressing. Perhaps cutting his hair hadn’t been the smartest idea.
“Out of my eyes would be an improvement. I’ll leave the rest in your capable hands.” His voice resonated in her chest.
She swallowed, determined to ignore how his proximity affected her.
With a calming breath, she combed his hair, sliding the damp, silky length between two fingers before each snip of the scissors.
She repeated the motion with each chunk, measuring with what she’d already cut as a reference.
Every few minutes, she collected the fine bits of hair before throwing them in the garbage.
Lissa wasn’t quick but moved methodically.
She relaxed, enjoying the feeling of intimacy without expectation.
She liked Cam’s company, but their daily interactions reminded her of a million small things she missed about having a partner or companion.
Her mind wandered to visions of the two of them working side by side in the garden, dividing the work of gathering firewood, sharing body heat to stay warm. She flushed, heat flooding her face.
Lissa exhaled, reminding herself he’d be leaving in a few weeks. Once more, she’d be alone. She should be relieved to have her place to herself again, but it would also be lonely.
When she finished, she stood in front of Cam, in the V between his legs, to check how she’d done. Running her fingers through his hair, she looked for sections she’d missed and checked that both sides were the same length. She’d hate for his haircut to be lopsided.
“You’re killing me,” said Cam, his voice strangled.
“I’m sorry. Am I taking too long?” She glanced down and swallowed. While his gaze was on her face, her breasts were at his eye level. Her face burst into flames, and she stepped back. Done enough.
Cam grasped her forearm, stopping her retreat.
“Don’t go. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” His grip was light, but the moment stretched with neither of them moving.
She could pull away with ease—his large hand burned against her sensitive skin. She chose to remain. Swallowing. Suddenly, the air in the room evaporated, and she felt overheated. Sweat beaded on her forehead. “What are you doing?” Once again, her voice seemed breathy and unfamiliar.
He stared as if he hadn’t eaten in days, and she was a three-course meal.
Cam’s eyes darkened, and his gaze dipped to her mouth. “I’d like to kiss you. If you’d let me.” His voice was husky, though not much louder than a whisper.
“We’re almost strangers.” Maybe she needed the reminder as much as he did.
“Strangers who’ve been dancing around this feeling for days.
From the second we met, I’ve been drawn to you.
And you to me.” His grip tightened almost imperceptibly.
“Tell me I’m wrong.” His gray-green eyes dared her to deny the undercurrent buzzing between them since the beginning.
Even dehydrated and injured, his strength called to her while his personality was calming, and his intelligence invigorating.
She liked Cam, and it wouldn’t take much to tip that feeling into something more.
“I don’t want to hurt you.” She should move, but her feet remained stuck.
“Do you trust me?” he said, his intent gaze still on her face.
She nodded, surprised that it was the truth. He’d been kind and never creepy.
He tugged her onto his lap and wrapped a powerful arm around her. His other hand tipped her face toward him with a gentle nudge. “Can I kiss you?” His voice dropped to a whisper. “I’ve imagined it a thousand times.”
The air between them crackled with electricity.
Cam had been at the forefront of her thoughts ever since their first meeting, which was the true reason for following him on the meadow.
Almost every night after she’d seen him, she hadn’t slept well as she’d tossed and turned, aching for human contact, pining for connection in a way she hadn’t in years.
The longing was more than physical, but until he’d arrived, her lack of human contact had become normal.
Part of her wondered if she would have been the same with any man who’d arrived on her doorstep. One touch from Cam and she was convinced only he set her pulse racing.
She nodded.
He tipped her chin upward with a warm thumb and claimed her mouth.
The first touch was almost chaste, warm lips pressed to hers.
The second was not. This kiss was replete with yearning and heat as he wound a hand into her loose hair.
His lips teased hers into responding. A small groan escaped as he deepened the kiss, his strong lips devouring hers, his tongue sliding into her mouth.
She moaned. Too turned on to be embarrassed, she kissed him back, her tongue darting to meet his.
She wrapped her arms around his neck as he pulled her closer, one big hand splayed on her back, the other still wrapped around, holding her steady.
She lost track of time, the intensity not lessening even as they slowed to leisurely nibbles, their lips sliding and pulling.
Kissing Cam was like nothing else she’d experienced. She was on fire, every nerve alight.
Her awareness of everything except Cam disappeared. When they halted, it was because they needed air.
Lissa pulled back, her body trembling, aching, and needy with desire.
Cam nuzzled against her neck, kissing her throat once before resting his forehead against hers with a sigh. “I’ve wanted to do that as long as I’ve known you.” His fingers traced her collarbones as he spoke.
She had too. They’d been like magnets, drawing closer until kissing was inevitable.
“Are there women at xTerra?” Suddenly, she wanted to know more about his life. How could someone handsome and incredible like Cam be single? When he left, would she lose her chance to be with him? Her fear of being alone forever had gotten the better of her.
“Yes. Not like you.” His gaze returned to her mouth.
“You said you aren’t married.” Her vision blurred with unshed tears. Cam would leave when his ankle healed, but she wanted to know more while she had a chance.
“If I were, I wouldn’t have kissed you.” His thumb traced her lower lip.
Heat shot straight to her core. “Tell me more about you.” She shifted, leaning into his warmth. “Whatever comes to mind.”
His eyes twinkled. “I grew up in xTerra with my three brothers, Jed, Nate, and Aiden. My father left when I was eight because he got sick of the ‘isolated survivalist lifestyle,’ as he called it. Until recently, my mother was the Mayor of xTerra. By the time I return, she will have lost an election.”
“I feel like there’s a lot more to that story,” she said. He’d stiffened at the mention of his mother, and his eyes had become sad. Their argument must still prey on him.
“My younger brothers were hellions and kept my mother busy. I was the oldest and frequently left to my own devices, so I befriended a neighbor named Lewis. He’s the one who used to take me camping and fishing.”
“How long ago did you lose Lewis?” She leaned closer, reveling in being enveloped in Cam’s scent, his strong arms holding her.
“He died about a year before the asteroid. His grandson and his wife live in Lewis’ former bunker.
They arrived at xTerra the day of the first Mount Mazama explosion.
” Like the original volcano thousands of years ago, the recent one was also a landmark in time.
The massive eruption had spewed ash into the atmosphere that was still landing seven years later.
The series of volcanoes triggered by the impact was to blame for some of the unpredictable, harsh weather and the contaminated water.
“Are you close with his family?” She rested a hand on Cam’s solid chest, feeling his hard, fast heartbeat beneath. Hers raced at a matching speed.
Cam shook his head. “I’ve never spoken to Ryan about his grandfather. We’re acquaintances, nothing more.”
“I bet he’d like to hear that his grandfather wasn’t alone all those years.” She tilted her head.
He shrugged. “I didn’t want Ryan to feel like I’d replaced him or was closer to his grandfather than he was.” Cam kissed her temple. “What else would you like to know?”
“If you lived at xTerra your entire life, did you date?” Her cheeks flushed again. He didn’t kiss like someone inexperienced.
He smiled, the lines appearing next to his eyes again. “When I was in my teens, I dated a couple of girls from Edgemont, the local town where I attended high school. In the years afterward, I dated a few more women, but nothing serious. I’ve always been a bit of a loner.
“What about college or university? Did you have a job?”
He shook his head, which she felt from where she sat on his lap. “My mother discouraged us from going to university, but the spring before the asteroid, I made arrangements to leave because I’d been accepted at a college in Cheyenne, Wyoming. I wanted to study engineering.”
She glanced upward at his wishful tone. His eyes took on a faraway look.
“Why hadn’t you gone sooner?” Since she and Cam were close in age, he’d have stayed at xTerra for several years after he graduated.
“My mother said she needed me, but looking back, I think she needed me to stay where she thought she could control me. I discovered I required more space and autonomy than she wanted. When the world fell apart, I joined the Watch and moved into my own bunker.”
“What’s it like living underground?” She didn’t think she’d like living that way year-round.
While she was inside a lot of the winter, especially when it stormed, there were always breaks when she got out for chores.
In decent weather, she spent a lot of time outside enjoying the beauty of the forest and mountains.
Plus, in the summer, she uncovered the windows in her quarters and let in natural light, something he couldn’t do in a bunker.
He shrugged. “I’m used to it, but I miss the outdoors. That’s why the camping and fishing trips mean so much.”
She touched his mouth with a fingertip, unable to stop herself. “I hope you don’t mind being cooped up again, with me.”
“I don’t. I’m not sorry at all.” He wrapped his big hand around the back of her head and tugged her closer again. “I need to kiss you again.”
Though she responded eagerly, when at last she pulled back, her body shuddered. She could so easily fall in love with Cam, and that way lay heartbreak. In a matter of weeks, he would be leaving.
She took a deep breath, preparing for what she needed to say next. “I like you, but this can’t go any further. I can’t go with you, and you aren’t staying.” She struggled to keep her emotions in check, not wanting to cry, but she needed to be realistic.
Cam removed his hand, and she stood, immediately missing his warmth. Her lips tingled and her eyes smarted as she turned away.
“I’m sorry. You’re right.” He took a deep breath. “What can I do to help with dinner?”