Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
Ivan
Poppy was across the hall, and I was going insane.
Wildly insane. I couldn’t think of anything else.
When I was alone, I was raging to bury my cock into anything to get rid of the ache she left with me.
Cold showers became a normal part of my routine, and they were causing me to be a dick. I should have never accepted this job.
All I did was watch her, and it was causing me to have a permanent boner.
It didn’t help that we hadn’t left besides to bring Jane to school.
She insisted it was nothing to ride the subway like before—like all of her friends did.
But Poppy and I were on the same page. If someone were after Poppy, they would try to get to her in any way possible, including her younger sister.
Which meant, the new driver their brothers hired drove us all to school and back twice a day.
Poppy insisted she could stay at the house by herself, but I wouldn’t risk it.
Sitting so close to Poppy in the car, inhaling her intoxicating scent, was driving me into an insatiable craze.
I called Dimitri after the fourth day and demanded that he loan me his best security guy to bring her to school and back.
Dimitri said he would do one better, and I didn’t know what that meant until Jane got home and yelled out, “I do not need a babysitter at school! What is this?”
I smiled at Poppy across the kitchen island, completely satisfied with myself.
Don, Dimitri’s right-hand man, had tailed Jane all day at school.
He’d texted me that he didn’t trust her being alone all day, knowing there was a threat out there, and how did I tell that scary ass man no?
I didn’t. If he wanted to watch out for Poppy’s younger sister, I wouldn’t be opposed; it was one less thing I had to worry about, and I knew Don couldn’t be bought either.
So technically, she was in the second-best hands.
Surprisingly enough, Dimitri didn’t needle me about why I needed security for the daughter of the man I killed… It was all a very fucked up situation that I didn’t even know how I was going to explain it.
Poppy leaned across the counter, which caused her shirt to pull tight across her chest, and all of the blood in my body went right back to the place I’d been trying to will it out of. I couldn’t even escape to take a cold shower. This was easily the stupidest thing I’d ever agreed to.
An irrational part of my brain tried to convince me that if I just had her one more time, I would be able to get her out of my system.
Just one more taste, one more touch, one more night…
But the rational part of my brain reminded me that I had one night already, and it was ruining my life.
Two times having her? I was a dead man gone.
I would never be satisfied again. I would never want anything else.
I would be an animal in heat. I had to keep my wits about me.
Though I could and would take out her brothers…
I didn’t need the extra heat on me. I was sure Poppy was getting suspicious as it was.
If they disappeared… I was a real goner, not that I had a chance, but still.
She lifted her brows, waiting for me to answer whatever question I missed.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Are you out to ruin a teenager's life?” She laughed behind her hand as mischief danced in her eyes.
“With Don?”
She nodded. “She’s never had anyone care about her whereabouts before, and now she’s being tailed in school.”
“She’s fourteen, right?”
When I was fourteen, I’d had the world at my fingertips, and all it did was make me bored. I’d found destructive ways to keep myself company. With fire and explosives, of course. It wasn’t the most productive use of my time, but it was something other than drugs and alcohol.
And violence.
But yet, here I was. A cold-blooded killer, anyway.
“Yes, but she thinks she’s nineteen, I swear.”
“I think it’ll be good for her to have a constant in her life. I’ve noticed your mother hasn’t checked in on you or come to visit. Are you her guardian now?”
These questions weren’t productive. They didn’t help me do my job better.
These weren’t things Ivan the Bodyguard needed to know.
These were things Ivan the man craved. I was killing myself slowly.
My eyes tracked the way she took a sip out of her glass of water and categorized it for later.
Every detail, every thing, I wanted to know it.
Poppy looked at everything but me before she answered.
“Yeah, she’s pretty upset about her lack of inheritance.
I think my father tricked her into signing a prenup.
My father was a lot of things, but if there is anything that he absolutely was…
He was iron-clad. He made sure everything was tied up and there were never loose ends.
He was meticulous in business and his personal life. ”
“She’s angry with both of you, then?”
Poppy rolled her eyes. “Oh, I’m sure.”
I nodded, letting the subject go. She chewed her bottom lip as she looked at me. “So, this might be a little strange and maybe it’ll make you uncomfortable… And if you aren’t up for it, maybe Don…”
I held a hand up. “I’m more than capable of doing anything you need of me. Don is so that I can focus on you and not worry about Jane at the same time. Don is not to be hired for your safety— for anything.”
She nodded as she swallowed and then cleared her throat. “Well, I have a date tonight.”
My brain short-circuited. I mean, the brothers had tried to prepare me. They told me I was to be a shadow for her dates, but I thought… I don’t know what I thought, but it was never this. I didn’t want this. Could I even do this?
“It’s not really something I want to do, and it’s more of an obligation, but I will need you to be in attendance. In fact, I’m sure he would probably want to meet you.” She chewed on her bottom lip again. “Maybe not. Maybe we just pretend that you’re someone else tonight, at another table.”
It was the only way I would be able to get through it.
“He said he has another table reserved for you.”
So this guy obviously knew I was in the picture as a bodyguard, but didn’t know who I was exactly.
I nodded robotically because it was all I could do without raging out in the kitchen. But this was what she deserved and what I convinced myself I could never give her. This was for the best.
“Dress code and time?” I was back to my bodyguard persona, and it was evident in my voice. Ivan the man would have to take a backseat again.
“Business casual and seven sharp.”
***
A good bodyguard would have looked into the guy Poppy was going on a date with.
This bodyguard couldn’t do it. I couldn’t know who he was.
I couldn’t know his intentions. The moment I did, I knew I would sabotage it all.
It wasn’t my place. The brothers told me she would be going on dates, and I was sure they vetted whoever she went out with.
They didn’t tell me I needed to do background checks or secure perimeters.
I was just here to protect her and keep her from getting kidnapped, and at the moment, the job was shadowing her.
In truth, I was an overpaid glorified babysitter… Just like Don.
For the fifth time, I checked my watch, making sure we wouldn’t be late. Poppy still hadn’t come out of her bedroom, and I wondered if this was a normal time frame for a woman to get ready.
Was it taking her this long because she was excited? Was she nervous? Did she actually like this guy? When she thought of him, did it make her chest clench the way mine did when I thought of her?
Something was up— I could feel it in my gut. I didn’t know what, but I was determined to figure it out.
When her door finally clicked open, I wanted to kick Don’s legs out from under him because his head snapped up at the same time mine did. He was here to watch Jane while we were out. Jane wasn’t overly thrilled, but I didn’t care. Nothing would happen to Poppy’s family.
Poppy’s hair—dark, glossy—was pinned back on either side of her face; a few loose strands were free, softening her cheekbones. The light hit the pale pink on her lids and made her eyes glow. But none of that is what made me want to march across the space and push her back into her room.
Business casual, my fucking ass.
Her dress was a little pink number that made me wonder if this was a date or if she was trying to hop into bed with the man.
Slowly, I took a deep breath to try to calm my erratic heart, but then my eyes landed on her heels, and I knew there was no calming me down.
She was balancing on the balls of those heels now, testing them like a tightrope walker.
She smiled at Don—innocent, trusting—and for a godless instant I felt like the enemy of my own blood.
I wanted to tell her to change into flats.
I wanted to drag her back into the room and pin her into skirts and sweaters.
Instead, I straightened my sports coat and cleared my throat. “You look beautiful.” It sounded like a lie.
It was a lie.
She wasn’t just beautiful, she was radiant. She was breathtaking, otherworldly— and everything I could never have.
A smile stretched across her face, and she beamed at me.
Fucking beamed, and I swore time stopped.