Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
Poppy
Our driver dropped us off at the restaurant individually. Ivan was first out of the blacked-out SUV, and then we circled the block before he let me out.
I’d never been so nervous before, and never nervous like this.
This was like walking into a trap. I hadn’t wanted to wear this dress.
I hadn’t wanted to go to this restaurant, and I most certainly hated the heels, but my brothers insisted on both.
They’d been sent up with the housekeeper earlier in the week.
I hated it. It didn’t feel like me. But there was no telling my brothers no.
The hostess led me through a bunch of couples, when out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of Ivan. He was sitting at a table with a woman I’d never seen before. I stumbled slightly in surprise, and as the hostess helped steady me, she leaned in close to whisper.
“You okay? I don’t know how you’re walking in those things on your way to Donovan Madden’s table. I would be shaking like a leaf all the way there.”
Donovan was a public figure. His parents owned most of the docks in the city and others.
My eyes had glossed over after reading the first Google search on him.
There was so much information to comb through, but I didn’t care about any of it.
Maybe he was different in person. Maybe he was kind and thoughtful.
I wanted to see all of that. I didn’t want to gain opinions because of an internet search.
So I closed out the browser before I could even see a picture of him.
When we stopped at a table, my eyes tracked from the polished floor and up to the man I was going to be marrying. The hostess was right, I should have been shaking and trembling but instead, it was the sight of Ivan that choked me up when I noticed him sitting there with another woman.
Internally, I tried to convince myself that it didn’t matter. The man I would be spending the rest of my life with was right here. He pushed back from the table and unfolded himself to what seemed like an impossible height as he rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt.
Dark, rolling tattoos covered every inch of his pale, creamy arms. My eyes continued their slow perusal and landed on his incredibly gorgeous face.
His dark auburn hair was brushed back from his forehead, and more tattoos snaked up his neck and kissed his sharp, clean-shaven jaw.
A small smile graced his full, dark lips.
But his eyes stopped my casual observation.
They were the bluest eyes I’d ever seen.
Ivan’s eyes were icy and glacial. Donovan’s were as blue as the ocean.
They practically sparkled in the dim lighting.
“I finally get to meet you and you wear a number like this…” His gaze greedily ate me up as he whistled softly.
I didn’t miss his thick Irish accent, and for a moment, it made my stomach dip.
He was the full package, it seemed. Why on earth did he want an arranged marriage?
Why on earth did he want me? He could have anyone, I was sure of it.
Money.
I almost forgot. This was all about the money I’d inherited and the deal my brothers had brokered. At least he wasn’t ugly and old.
“Your brothers didn’t mention how pretty you were.
” His lips curled into a smirk as he sank deeper into his seat.
I didn’t know what I’d expected, but it wasn’t this.
Maybe for him to at least stand and greet me?
I pulled my chair back and sat down as he continued to watch me.
His eyes tracked my every movement like a predator.
He leaned forward suddenly and smiled at my wariness.
“Pretty isn’t the right term. Radiant would be better suited for you or even stunning.” He hummed in the back of his throat, and I felt my stomach clench slightly. It wasn’t hard to be attracted to him. It wasn’t difficult to find pleasure in his compliments.
“Thank you,” I said softly as I looked down at the table, expecting to find a menu, but there wasn’t one. My brows pulled together as I looked back up at him.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I went ahead and ordered for us.”
I shook my head. “Not at all.”
It would tell me a lot about him, based on what he ordered for me. Plus, I wasn’t so sure I would like much in this fancy place.
“I’m sorry,” he chuckled. “Obviously, I’m Donovan. I don’t have a nickname and I don’t want one.”
I nodded my head. “I’m Poppy.”
A dimple popped up in his cheek at the sound of my name. “Such an odd name for such a beautiful creature. Your parents aren’t hippies.”
I shook my head and shrugged. “No, I don’t know why they chose to call me that, and I honestly never thought to ask.”
All of my other siblings had more classical names, but I hadn’t ever dwelled on it.
I hadn’t ever wanted to, because somewhere deep down I knew it would hurt when I found out the truth.
It was probably because I already knew what it was like to grow up and not be the favorite.
Digging into my name would only bring up old pain that I didn’t care to entertain.
He reached forward and wrapped a large hand around his wine glass before taking a generous sip. “Tell me about yourself. Your hobbies, your pleasures, everything.”
This was my time to shine, for him to truly see me and not whatever version my brothers sold to him,
“I love to read, but I’m more of a science and history girl. I don’t care much for fiction. I always enjoyed school and my studies, and I would love to continue them one day.”
I didn’t want to read into it, but I swore his lips turned down slightly. “Go on.”
“But as much as I love my studies, I love the outdoors. Camping, snowboarding, swimming.” I smiled as warmth spread through my chest, sharing these things about myself.
“Honestly, anything with the outdoors. But I really do love camping. There is just something special about being under the stars. The knowledge that we are just a spec of dust in this vast universe gets to me every time.”
He blinked, and I watched as his eyes practically glossed over. Had he actually listened to what I said? “Interesting. Well, snowboarding will be out, I hate to say. We can’t have you injured, especially while trying for an heir.”
There it was. All out in the open. The talk of making a baby being so casual caused me to frown.
He didn’t seem to care; he continued on between sips of his wine.
“Which will start immediately after the wedding. Of course, after you give me children, you are free to do as you please. Except take on a lover. You will be loyal to me.”
His eyes darkened as his gaze zeroed in on me. I nodded. I knew this would be a possibility, but it felt so cold and lifeless, laying it all out like this.
“I don’t ask for much.”
“Would you like to come with me on a camping trip either before or after we wed?”
His brows inched up his forehead, and he looked like he was considering it. “Maybe. I’m not really one for the outdoors, but I think I could humor you a time or two. Trying for an heir under the stars doesn’t sound too terrible.”
Thank goodness he didn’t expect me to sleep with him before the wedding because I wouldn’t be able to get through it if he thought he was taking me home tonight.
“What about you?” I asked. I was no longer interested in sharing about myself as I knew it would go absolutely nowhere. I didn’t want to have all of my hopes and dreams for my future crushed in one night. I needed something to give me hope.
“I like mixed martial arts, and I spar several times a week. Boating is another passion of mine.”
That gave me a little bit of hope, and I sat up straighter. “Like sailing?” I loved sailing, though I’d only been a few times with Jade and her friends.
He chuckled almost snidely. “No, Poppy. I have a yacht.”
Defeat filled my chest, and I remained silent to encourage him to continue.
“I enjoy practicing with various weapons, but I like guns. I frequent a private range weekly. I would go daily if I could. Do you work out?”
“Not really. I mean, I enjoy sports, so I suppose that could count. I have to stay in shape to snowboard and the like.”
He nodded as he glanced down at his phone and typed something in. “I will get you in with my personal trainer. You’ll start spin class next week, early mornings, and yoga around lunch. Do you have a private chef?”
“No, I’ve cooked for myself for a while now.”
I didn’t mention that I hadn’t ever had the money to feel like I could hire a chef until now. He had to know that.
He typed some more into his phone before he looked back up at me.
“Vernon Callahan will be your new chef. He will prepare meals for you and your house guests weekly. High protein, low carb, high fat.”
How had us talking about him turned into him changing everything about my life?
“Do you have a personal shopper?” Was his next question.
“No, I’ve enjoyed shopping for myself.”
More typing, and my agitation grew in my chest. Would this be the rest of my life?
No, because he was getting it all established now, so he wouldn’t have to do it later.
I would be expected to follow along, and I hated it.
I gritted my teeth together as I stared at my full wine glass.
I wouldn’t even bother with drinking tonight.
There would be no enjoyment in this date, even with alcohol to float me.
“I understand that, but your life is different now, Poppy. You will need a personal shopper. I’ll send mine over, and she’ll get all of your measurements, as well as go through your closet to ensure what your wardrobe has and doesn’t.
We need to make sure you’re red carpet ready and, of course, you’ll need clothes for our engagement events. ”
“Right,” I muttered. When was the food arriving?
He placed his phone face down and leveled his gaze on me again. “Anyway, I enjoy frequenting the gym and going to MMA fights. Sports aren’t entirely my thing, but I do love a good fight.”
It was time for my eyes to glaze over. Nothing about us was compatible, which would have been fine if he had even cared about my interests.
He carried on, and I was having a hard time not zoning him completely out. When could I go home? “I also enjoy expensive alcohol. I frequent tastings and gatherings for various bourbon and whiskey distilleries.”
I couldn’t relate again. I didn’t mind a drink every once in a while, but I didn’t care either way about a tasting or going to find alcohol somewhere besides the store or a restaurant.
When our food finally arrived, I was sure I hadn’t said more than five words in almost thirty minutes.
He didn’t ask me about anything else regarding myself again, and he continued on and on about the fighting styles he preferred, how much he gambled at events, and how we should probably have our wedding in Ireland.
I honestly didn’t even know if I cared anymore.
All the hope that swelled in my chest before I arrived popped and left me feeling empty.
I wanted nothing more than to curl up on the couch with a big tub of ice cream and binge-watch anything on TV.
It didn’t even matter at this point as long as I was far away from this future husband of mine.
I stared down at my fancy salad covered in a dressing I didn’t even know the name of, with rare steak. High protein, low carb, and high fat. I wanted to send it back. “Do you have a favorite ice cream?”
He was bringing a small sliver of rare steak to his lips when the question popped out of my mouth. One of his auburn brows lifted on his forehead. “Do you think this body indulges in sugar?”
That would be a no, then.
“Will we live together?”
He shook his head as he chewed thoughtfully. “No, we won’t. Closer to the wedding, I’ll have you moved to the renovated part of my penthouse, but they won’t be connected. You’ll have an entire floor to yourself with private access through a shared elevator.”
“What about when we have kids?”
I wondered why I was doing this to myself.
“Especially not then. I have too much business to conduct and I don’t have the time or the patience for little sticky fingers and loud mouths.”
My brothers had shackled me to everything I would never want for myself. I hadn’t ever thought about having kids, but when I asked if we would live together after having them, I guess I expected to have a partner.
“If you need help, you’ll have the nanny there, of course.”
I didn’t want a nanny, but I didn’t say anything and instead began eating the meal that tasted like something out of a suburban backyard.
***
By the time we were finished eating, I was over the entire ordeal. My eyes felt itchy, and my nose burned. I wanted nothing more than to take a long soak in the massive bathtub in my bathroom back at home and maybe cry a little bit.
When we both stood up once the check was paid, my eyes scanned the room, but Ivan was nowhere to be seen.
The table he’d previously been sitting at was now empty, and I found the emptiness inside of my chest only getting worse with his absence.
He couldn’t even save me from this misery that was going to be my life.
“I let your dog off of his leash,” Donovan placed his hand at the small of my back, and it took everything in me to not physically recoil from him.
My dog?
I took another deep breath and thought of Jane. This was all for Jane.
Jane.
Jane.
Jane.
“Don’t worry, you won’t be coming home with me tonight, but it might be sooner than you think,” he said as the blacked-out SUV I’ve been riding around in came to a stop at the curb.
“I thought about it though. I would love nothing more than to peel these clothes from your body and see how well you fit with me.”
I looked up into his soulless eyes and tried not to flinch. He wouldn’t be a gentle lover, I knew that in my gut.
He leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to my cheek before he opened my door for me. “I look forward to getting to know you, goodnight, Poppy.”
“Goodnight,” I whispered as I climbed into the car and finally let the tears fall from my eyes.