Chapter 46
Chapter Forty-Six
Poppy
“That was the prettiest wedding I think I’ve ever been to!
” I gushed as Don drove us back to Emeline Cristof’s home.
There was still alcohol buzzing through my veins, and I never wanted the night to stop.
Not to mention, the feel of Ivan all over me and I didn’t have to hide or worry.
Jane sat in the back of the SUV with a cup of chocolate and a bowl stacked full of desserts.
She didn’t say anything and watched the lights and people outside her window.
I looked over at Ivan, and he was doing the same, though minus the chocolates and desserts.
“Okay,” I dragged the word out. “Did something happen tonight?”
Jane answered by shoveling more chocolate into her mouth, and Don’s fingers tightened on the steering wheel. Ivan shifted in his seat, but no one said a word.
My stomach flipped. “Is this about the grannies?” I asked, half laughing, half nervous. “Audrey and Carina nicknamed them that. Did it make you uncomfortable seeing me with the rest of your family?”
Nothing.
The silence was heavy, thick, and suffocating.
I frowned. “Guys? Seriously. What’s going on?”
Ivan didn’t look at me. Not even once. His jaw ticked. His hands were braced on his thighs like he was bracing for impact.
Something icy slid down my spine.
“Ivan?” I whispered.
I turned to face him fully, heart picking up. “You’re scaring me. Tell me what happened.”
Jane choked quietly on a breath behind us. Don cleared his throat.
And Ivan—my steady, unshakeable Ivan—finally turned his head.
His eyes looked devastated.
“Look, if this is about Donovan, I didn’t mean to hurt you by being there and letting you touch me.
I’m trying to figure everything out with him.
” I leaned into the opening between us and lowered my voice.
“I don’t want to go through with it. I don’t want to marry him. I’m thinking about running away.”
I let out a small, breathless laugh. Because, of course, that was what this was all about.
How could I possibly allow Ivan to touch me and hold me and dance with me when I was promised to another?
I was working on it. I was going to have a plan.
I’d made up my mind tonight. I had enough money to escape. I could do it.
Nothing landed. He didn’t even blink. His eyes just looked more and more hollow the more I spoke.
“Ivan?” I whispered again, leaning in. “Please say something.”
He swallowed once. My brain was frantically trying to piece it all together. Why wasn’t he talking? Why couldn’t he say something? What was going on? Maybe it wasn’t about Donovan at all… but then if it wasn’t about my fiancé… then what could possibly be this bad?
His nostrils flared once. Jane let out a sharp gasp behind us.
But I kept going—because this was the only explanation that made sense. The only wound I thought I could soothe because what else could it be?
A small, breathless laugh escaped me, nervous and tired. “I know it sounds insane, but—I’ve made up my mind. Tonight helped. I’ll disappear. I have enough money to make it work. I can escape. I can—”
“Stop,” Ivan said.
“Poppy,” he breathed. “This isn’t about Donovan.”
Don’s fingers tightened on the wheel again. Jane’s breathing was fast and uneven in the back seat. Ivan looked at me like he was about to confess something that would shatter the world between us.
“This is about your father.”
I snorted. “What about him?”
“I wanted to wait until we were back at my mother’s home,” I nodded. Now that he was talking about my father, I agreed. This SUV was too small. There wasn’t enough room for whatever bomb he was about to drop, I could feel it.
“I didn’t want you hearing this like…” he swallowed, voice rough, “…like this.”
A tremor crawled across the back of my neck. “Ivan, just say it.” He didn’t.
Ivan Cristof—who never flinched, never faltered, never feared a damn thing—winced as if the truth was a blade pressed to his throat. Behind us, Jane sucked in a brittle, panicked breath.
“Poppy,” she whispered.
Ivan’s eyes flicked to her sharply and with warning. “Jane.”
Her voice cracked. “I can’t—”
“Jane,” Ivan said again, firmer this time, but it wasn’t anger. It was pleading. “Please.”
My stomach was no longer in the car with us. It had fallen out as soon as my father was mentioned and was left behind. The SUV slowed as we approached Emeline Cristof’s building. There were already four men waiting outside to escort us in.
“It’s better if we do this upstairs.”
***
Everything felt wrong. The elevator ride was silent except for Jane’s shaky breaths and the low hum of the machinery pulling us upward.
Ivan didn’t look at me again—not once—and that scared me more than anything.
His shoulders were rigid, his jaw locked hard enough to crack teeth, and the dread rolling off of him had my skin buzzing.
When the doors slid open, the warm light of Emeline Cristof’s penthouse didn’t soothe a single nerve in my body. It felt foreign now.
“Jane,” I said softly.
She flinched like I’d shouted.
My heart cracked. “Sweetheart—”
“Don’t,” she whispered, voice splintering as she stepped farther away, putting the kitchen island between us like a shield. “Please don’t ask me anything yet.”
Ivan raked both hands through his hair and exhaled a ragged breath, pacing once before stopping dead center in the living room.
His eyes lifted to mine, and I thought they’d been bad in the car. They were worse now. They were haunted and empty.
“Poppy,” he said quietly, “you need to sit down.”
I shook my head immediately. “No. No, tell me now. Someone tell me what’s going on.”
He nodded and looked down at his shoes. “Poppy. I killed your father.”
It was like the floor fell out from beneath my feet.
I grappled with the counter to stay upright.
Ivan stalked closer, and I somehow managed to stay standing, even if the room was rapidly spinning.
I could hear Jane crying from somewhere in the room, but I couldn’t find it in myself to find her and comfort her.
She’d obviously known. She’d found out on her own.
Ivan grasped my elbow to help steady me, but I yanked away from him as if his touch burned.
Hell, it did burn.
“You’re lying,” I said, breath shaking. “Tell me you’re lying. Tell me you didn’t just—just say that.”
He didn’t answer. He didn’t have to. His silence was its own confession.
“Ivan,” I said again, this time barely audible. “Tell me you didn’t.” He looked like he wished he could.
“I don’t know if it helps, but when I took the job, I didn’t know he was your father. I didn’t know the impact it would make. I didn’t know anything until the engagement party after it all happened.”
It didn’t make anything better. Nothing could ever be better. I’d fallen in love with a murderer. I was broken. I should have known.
Fuck, all the signs had been there. There were so many things shouting at me.
The guns, the slight stalking, and all the things he wouldn’t say about what he did for work.
Was I stupid? Or had I known all along, and I saw what I wanted to see?
I pressed my palms into my eyes and let out a cry of anguish.
The gaping hole inside of me was miles wide, and it was only a matter of time before it swallowed me whole.
There was nothing left for me to stay present.
How could I have been so stupid? I knew he was dangerous! I should have known this!
An ugly, raw sob ripped free from my chest as I crumpled forward. I knew my father wasn’t a good man; I’d always known it, but that didn’t excuse the fact that he was murdered the way he was. Not only was he murdered, but he was murdered by the man I loved. The man I’d loved but lied to me.
The betrayal of it all was enough to put me on the floor.
Small arms wrapped around me and somehow kept me from collapsing.
Jane sobbed against my back as she held onto me for dear life.
I didn’t know what to do because I couldn’t make him leave, that was clear already, but I also couldn’t tell my brothers.
Even though this news was enough to level me…
I could never tell them. If they knew, Ivan would be a dead man, and that was the last thing I wanted for him.
I loved him too much. But he’d only done the job; someone else had put the hit. Did that make it any better?
“Who hired you?”
“I can’t disclose that information,” His voice was hard and cold. I couldn’t even look at him. My vision was so blurry from the tears spilling free.