Chapter 45
Chapter Forty-Five
Ivan
I was playing an incredibly dangerous and stupid game, but I couldn’t seem to find it in myself to care.
I knew that any member of my family could snap a picture and send it to Donovan.
I knew that there were some people in attendance who didn’t fear my brothers the way the rest of the city did.
I knew that if I continued on this route, I was only destroying myself, and for whatever reason, I was okay with that.
Maybe it was because I got these moments for later. These memories would haunt me when I was alone and cold in my cabin up in the mountains. Or maybe it was because I enjoyed torturing myself. Either way, I didn’t want to dissect it. I wanted to enjoy every single second while I could.
Tonight, all I could think about was drowning in Poppy. One dance quickly turned into two, and then it went on and on until I couldn’t take my hands off of her, and my mother was shooting me knowing looks all over again.
A tap on my calf had me finally releasing her. “That’s enough, Lover Boy. Time to share the pretty new face.”
Grandmother had her cane out, and she was ready to use it. I took a step back from the woman I never wanted to let go, and only because I didn’t want to get beaten half to death by one of my grandmothers in front of the rest of my family. I would never live it down.
“Go be useless somewhere else,” Nana smirked as she took Poppy’s hand in hers. Poppy looked between them with a mix of amusement and caution. Good. She should be cautious.
My grandmother might’ve been five-foot-nothing with a cane, but she could level a man twice her size with that stupid thing. They were lethal.
I backed up a step, jaw tight, chest still heaving like Poppy had stolen the oxygen right out of me. Which, honestly, she had.
Nana released a dramatic sigh. “Lord help us, he looks like a kicked puppy.”
“I do not,” I growled, even as Dimitri barked out a laugh across the lawn.
Poppy’s lips curved into the kind of smile that felt like hope and ruin at the same time. “Go,” she mouthed quietly to me, her cheeks warming.
As if I had any control left. As if she wasn’t the one puppet-mastering every instinct I had. But I forced myself to step back again, shoving my hands into my pockets before I grabbed her and undid every good decision she’d ever made.
Nana looped her arm through Poppy’s and tugged her forward, like she’d just won her in a raffle.
“Come along, sweetheart. Let me see what we’re working with.”
I nearly choked.
Poppy’s brows shot up. “Working with?”
Nana tisked. “Posture, grace, the ability to walk in heels without tripping over that brainless rock on your finger.”
My spine snapped straight. “Nana.”
She waved me off like I was a passing gnat. “If he were any sort of real man, he’d have bought you a ring that didn’t require its own zip code.”
My fists clenched so tight my knuckles cracked.
Poppy flushed, instinctively covering the ring with her other hand. “It’s… a bit much.”
“It’s hideous,” Nana declared. “But we’ll fix that later.”
What the fuck did that mean? Were they plotting something else? I could never keep up. I wasn’t sure I even wanted to know.
“Why are you so stiff?” Grandmother got in close to Poppy and tapped her with her cane. “Men like Ivan need women who can bend without breaking. You’ll need to relax a bit.”
Poppy opened her mouth to protest.
I nearly swallowed my own tongue. “Jesus Christ, Grandmother—”
“Quiet, Ivan. No one is talking to you.” She flicked her cane in my direction without even looking at me. I flinched, I couldn’t help it.
Dimitri smacked me on the shoulder. “You might as well let them do their thing. If you don’t, you’ll suffer.”
“Are you going to tell us about her?” Dimitri prodded for the first time, which was surprising enough. Ace was watching us from across the dance floor with a glass of whiskey in his hand. His brows were raised as if he could hear every word we were saying.
I rolled my eyes. Thank God Alexei was too wrapped up in his wife and wanting to do husbandly things to care about anything happening over here. He would manage to push me right over the edge. “What’s there to know?”
Dimitri’s lips thinned out in displeasure.
“You could start with telling me why your hands are all over her, you look like a kicked dog, and she’s wearing an engagement ring that would buy a small village.
” He elbowed me in the ribs. “It wouldn’t have anything to do with you murdering her father, would it? ”
Glass shattered behind me, and we both whipped around. Jane stood there, white as a sheet, watching both of us with her mouth in a perfect O. “What did he just say?”
“Jane, I can explain—”
She held her hands up and took a few steps back from me. “Why would he say that? Does Poppy know?” Her head snapped around as she looked for her sister.
No, no, no, this couldn’t be happening. I took a cautious step toward her. “Jane, will you let me explain?”
“Where’s Don?” Her voice dropped low as I saw the panic begin to fill her eyes.
“Jane—hey—look at me.” I held my palms out, slow and nonthreatening, the same way you approached a wild animal about to bolt. “Don’s right over—”
“Does he know? Do all of you know? All of you lied?” she whispered, voice shaking.
Her gaze flicked to Dimitri—who winced—and then jerked toward Ace, who suddenly found the bottom of his whiskey glass very interesting. The girl wasn’t stupid. She was terrified, betrayed, and cornered.
“Jane,” I said again, lowering my voice so no one nearby would overhear. “It’s not what it sounds like.”
“No?” Her breath hitched. “Because it sounded like my dad was murdered and you—” She jabbed a trembling finger at my chest, “—you had something to do with it!”
I felt the words like a physical blow.
Her voice had risen—too loud, too sharp—and I saw three heads turn from across the lawn. Not good. Not fucking good.
I risked a glance toward Poppy. She hadn’t heard. Thank God.
She was still with Nana, blissfully unaware that her entire world was about to shatter on this goddamn wedding dance floor.
“I’m going home, I want to go home,” Jane snapped, moving around me.
“No,” I said, stepping in front of her. “You’re not leaving this venue alone.”
She blinked, stunned. “You think I’m going to stay here—with you—after what he said?”
Dimitri lifted both palms, eyes widening. “In my defense, I didn’t expect her to be lurking like some gossip-hungry little bat.”
Jane gasped. “I’m not a bat!”
“Jane,” I said sharply. “Focus on me.”
Her eyes—filled with betrayal—snapped back to mine.
“Your father’s death is… complicated,” I said carefully.
She flinched.
“Hey guys, did you see that there was a chocolate fountain?” Griffin, the youngest of us, stepped right into the ring of chaos, blissfully unaware. Like always.
Jane’s eyes locked on him, like a beacon of safety. “Did you know? Did you know that Ivan killed—no, murdered— my father?”
Griffin looked at me with wide eyes before he turned them on Dimitri. His mouth gaped open and closed like a fish out of water, struggling. “No. What’s happening? Ivan…” His brows pulled together. “Wait, no, not Ivan. Are you sure it wasn’t Dimitri?”
Jane’s eyes only continued to fill with massive tears from there. “Dimitri then? You’re a whole family of murderers!”
Griffin dipped his strawberry in some of the chocolate in his cup and shook his head. “Not me, I’ve never even punched someone. Though, the thought has crossed my mind a time or two. However, I’d rather not have a lawsuit on my hands. Everyone at the university was sue-happy.”
I closed my eyes. Leave it to Griffin to just ramble on about stupid shit in a time like this.
“Griff,” Dimitri groaned, dragging a hand down his face. “Read the room, kid.”
“I am reading the room!” Griffin whispered loudly. “The room looks… tense. And chocolate helps with tension, so technically I’m providing emotional support.”
Jane let out a broken, hiccuping sound that wasn’t even close to a laugh. Griffin froze.
“Oh no,” he whispered. “She’s crying. Why is she crying? Who made her cry?” His panicked gaze shot to me. “Ivan. Did you make her cry? You’re not supposed to make small girls cry, man.”
“I didn’t—” I stopped, exhaled, then pinched the bridge of my nose. “Griffin, please. Not now.”
Jane swiped furiously at her face. “You all just stood here acting as if nothing happened. Like you’re normal.” Her voice rose again. “But you kill people.”
“Not all of us,” Griffin said quickly. “I don’t. I can barely kill a spider, and even then I apologize—”
“Griff,” Dimitri barked.
He shut up instantly.
But Jane was spiraling, chest rising too fast, breaths short and shallow. Her gaze kept bouncing between us and then looking around the room.
Griffin looked between us like he was watching a tennis match played with live grenades. “Should I—should I go get someone? Mom? An adult? A therapist?”
“No,” Dimitri and I said in unison.
Jane pressed her shaking hands to her temples. “Does Poppy know? Does she know you murdered our—our—”
“Jane,” I cut in sharply but gently. “Your father wasn’t who you think he was.”
Her face crumpled. “I want my sister, I want her right now.”
“Listen,” I squeezed my eyes closed before I opened them again. “You can’t tell Poppy. Do you understand me?”
“Are you going to kill me if I tell her?”
Fuck. Shit. Shit fucking shit.
“I would never, ever harm you or your sister. But you can’t tell her because she deserves to hear it from me.”
“She’s going to hate you,” Jane whispered as she looked down at the broken glass between our feet. Slowly, she nodded just once. “I won’t tell her because I don’t want to hurt her. But you need to stay very far away from me.”
It felt like my heart was shattering into a million pieces. I’d fucked up so badly, but there was no going back now. Jane looked at Griffin with tear-filled eyes. “Will you take me to the chocolate fountain? I think you’re right.”
Griffin froze like a deer in headlights, a half-chewed strawberry dangling between his fingers. He stared at me helplessly, silently begging for instructions.
I swallowed the mountain of emotion burning in my throat and waved him off.
“Go,” I rasped. “Stay with her.”
He nodded frantically, more serious than I’d ever seen him, and gently guided Jane away. She clung to him like he was a life raft—and he didn’t complain. Didn’t crack a joke. Didn’t even look back.
I stood there alone in the middle of the wedding reception while laughter echoed around me, music played, and fairy lights glittered above my head.
Inside, everything in me felt dark and hollow—like the bottom had dropped out. I scrubbed a hand over my face, breathing hard. I had to tell Poppy.
I should have told her already. I should’ve told them both. But every time I imagined the look on her face…the way her chest would cave in…the way she’d push me away for good…
I fucking couldn’t, and now I was out of time.