Chapter 61 Erin
Bella moves with precision and purpose, on a mission to try and erase every trace of the life she built in this place with Brodie.
Trash bags line the walls, some tied, some still open. Each box marked with the same word: DONATE.
Sweaters. Frames. Sketchpads. Books.
It’s as though she’s peeling off layers of herself and tossing it away.
She’s been cleared of all wrongdoing and gave statement after statement, but now that everything’s over, she doesn’t want to hang around.
Not in this home.
Not in Huxley Bay.
She pauses at the bulletin board on her wall, staring at a finished sketch of a building tacked to the center. Her fingers tremble as she rips it down. I get a glimpse at the words underneath it in red marker.
Hidden Access Whiskey Keepers - HAWK.
She crushes the sketch into a fist-sized ball. When she moves to shove it into the nearest trash bag, she catches her reflection in the mirror and gasps.
I see it, too.
The hawk on her T-shirt. She tears it off in one motion, letting it fall to the floor. Standing in her underwear, she digs into her closet and yanks out a plain top and sweatpants, tugging them on with a fierce kind of shame.
It hits me then—the photo she sent me wearing the exact same shirt the morning after she woke up at Brodie’s. I had met him and Chase the night before.
Back then it just came across as a bird. But now I knew it wasn’t that. It was Hawk Skywatcher—Brodie’s character from Gargoyle: Legacy of Shadows. The game he played with Roman.
It had been in front of us this whole time.
I wonder how many times she’s slept in that shirt while he built his empire and kept secrets right under her nose.
Under our noses.
She gets right back to sorting through her belongings.
“Bella, please stop for a minute and talk to me,” I beg.
She halts and looks up, her eyes green icicles.
“The time for talking is over, Erin,” she says, the coldness in her eyes making me flinch. She’s never spoken to me with that kind of tone before. Even angry, she’s always careful with her words.
Not anymore.
“Bella, I’m so sorry. I know it’s not enough, I know it will never be enough, but please don’t leave. This is your home.”
“I need to find a new home now. Away from Huxley Bay, away from all of this, away from…” Her voice catches.
“Me?” I whisper, finishing the sentence she won’t say aloud.
She groans, pressing her palms into her eyes.
“Erin, I know you didn’t know about Brodie or Hawk or whatever the fuck his name actually was until he took you, but you knew about The Octopus. And you didn’t say a word. I thought we were past keeping secrets.”
When she drops her hands, her eyes are full of betrayal and hurt.
It guts me.
“I was going to wait until you were done in California,” I say, my voice small.
She lets out a humorless laugh. “After Brodie and I finished building HAWK together—the club with a secret room full of Emerson’s Barrel & Sons whiskey and The Octopus’s drugs?
“I didn’t know that’s what was happening, Bella.”
“I know,” she snaps, but then her voice softens. “Maybe if I knew about The Octopus, I would have figured it out on my own.”
“I was scared, Bella.”
“Scared of what, Erin?”
“That you would give up your dream again. For me.”
Her brows knit together.
I move to the only vacant spot on her mattress that isn’t occupied by her things. She pulls her vanity stool over and lowers herself onto it, watching me intently.
“That night in the diner,” I begin. “You had just found out Caleb cheated on you. You were supposed to go back to school after break.”
“Okay…”
“But you never did.”
Bella sighs.
“You transferred schools,” I whisper. “You gave up your dream school…because of me.”
She drops to her knees so fast the stool tips over behind her. Her hands cover mine. “Oh, honey…”
“You’ve been talking about working with Helena James for three years,” I say quietly. “You were about to wow her, then Chase called when I was shot and you came. You wanted to stay in Huxley Bay. And when I learned more about The Octopus… I knew if I told you any of that—”
“I’d drop everything and come back home for you,” she finishes barely above a whisper.
“I know she didn’t call back to reschedule, and it was my fault—again—that you lost out on something you really wanted.”
“She didn’t like that I answered Chase’s call. Told me that if I left, I shouldn’t expect another opportunity.” Bella shrugs. “She didn’t call back because I told her bitch-ass not to bother.”
My head jerks up. “You did?”
“I did.”
Her words slice me open.
“Erin,” Bella whispers, cupping my face, “I’d drop everything and come back for you. Every time. Without hesitation. It’s us against the world.”
Her tone is different this time.
She’s not giving a statement. Her words are an oath.
“Does keeping secrets make me selfish?” I ask. “I was trying to prevent you from having to sacrifice your dreams for me again—because of my messed up past”
“No,” she says, shaking her head hard. “You were protecting me from hurt. That’s not selfish. That’s love.”
“I just didn’t want to be a burden again,” I whisper.
“You weren’t. I stayed in Huxley Bay because I was happy. I finished my degree. Got a job I love. That school was never my dream, Erin. It was Caleb’s.”
I blink. “I didn’t know that.”
“You didn’t ruin any dream of mine,” she says. “You helped me find what I always wanted. You were my second chance for a new start.”
I drop my chin, guilt still lingering. “You saved me all those years ago. I just wanted to be a good sister.”
“I didn’t save you,” Bella says. “I just brought you home. You were the missing piece to our family. Mom and Dad loved you so much. Hell, maybe even a little more than me. You’re the only one who ever went for seconds on Dad’s awful lasagna.”
We both laugh, our grief mixing with joy.
I sniff. “It did get better over the years.”
“Maybe a little.”
The silence settles around us. It’s not heavy, just real.
“Bella… I’m so sorry. For everything.”
“I know," she whispers. “But I’m not leaving because of you. I’m leaving because I should’ve known.
I should’ve seen who he was. He was right in front of me and I didn’t see it until it was too late.
I didn’t see anything. Because I loved him.
And now I need to work through that. I can’t do it here. ”
Her voice trembles.
And I crumble alongside her.
We stay that way for a long time, clinging to each other until we’ve each got nothing left.
It feels like the night the Silvers died.
The same stunned silences.
The same empty hollowness that leaves a permanent scar inside of you.
Eventually, Bella pulls away. She wipes her face, stands, and keeps packing.
And I sit there, watching, surrounded by the pieces of the life she built here with Brodie.
The life she thought was safe.
I take in the room—bare walls, empty shelves, the stripped mattress.
I go back to that day Chase and I were here with them. We laughed at them arguing over what color they should paint the walls.
I hear their laughter, their inside jokes. I imagine Brodie drawing hearts on Bella’s sketchpad, their initials in the middle. She’d roll her eyes, but she secretly loved it.
And now it’s all gone.
As if it was never real at all.
I don’t know how long I sit here. Minutes. Hours. But I stay rooted in the same spot, my heart shattered all over the empty room.
That’s how Chase finds me.
Alone on the bed after Bella’s departure.
Like I’m the only thing that got left behind.
He kneels beside me, wraps his arms around me, and pulls me into his body.
“She’s gone.”
“I know, baby,” he whispers, kissing the top of my head. “I’m sorry.”
I bury myself into him and let him hold me, even though it hurts in a way that I can’t fully explain. I know she needs this.
And it’s not my fault.
She’s leaving because she needs to heal somewhere that isn’t stained with Brodie’s memory.
Somewhere her heart can breathe again. I don’t know when she’ll be back.
Or if she ever will.
But when she does, I’ll be here for her.
Because it’s us against the world.