Chapter 62 Erin
A tug on my dress catches my attention.
When I turn around, Roman is there in a suit, holding a golden teddy bear wearing a baseball jersey. I crouch down to his level, so both knees touch the floor, and sit back on my heels for balance.
“Hey, buddy. How are you doing?” I ask, taking his tiny hand in mine.
“Mom said that if anyone asks me that, I’m s’post to say I’m okay and thank you.” He sniffs, and I give him a gentle smile.
“Oh, well, I would never normally say this, so don’t get me into trouble, but I think on this one occasion you don’t need to listen to anyone but your heart today. Especially when it comes to what you’re feeling.”
His head bobs but he doesn’t look convinced.
“Tell you what,” I say. “If you tell me how you feel, I’ll tell you how I feel. Would that be okay?”
He lifts his head, eyes watery.
“I miss Uncle Brodie.” His little voice cracks into a sob.
“Me too, buddy. Me too.”
“You do? But he hurt you. I don’t get it. Why did he hurt you, Erin?”
“You know…” I start, a gentleness in my tone. “Your Uncle Chasey told me a story a while ago. He was talking to this really smart kid who said something about choices and telling the truth because honesty is the bestie’s policy.”
“Honesty is the best policy,” he corrects.
“You’re right, Roman. You should always tell the truth, even when it’s scary and it might hurt.
But sometimes it’s hard for some people to say the truth out loud.
Sometimes it’s because they’re afraid, so they bottle it up.
And even though it’s never too late to tell the truth, sometimes there are still consequences. ”
“Like when I told Dad I ate all my bwocli but hid it in my pockets and my clothes gots covered in green stuff when he washed them. My consefence was I couldn’t play on my Gargoyle: Legacy of Shadows game for a week.”
“Yeah, buddy, that’s a really good example.”
His lips twitch.
“The thing about choices,” I continue, “is that we get to decide how we want to feel, whether that’s happy, sad, mad, confused. We can decide which memories to keep and which ones to let go of. We can choose to forgive, Roman.”
His chin wobbles. “So even though Uncle Brodie did a bad thing, we can forgive him? And miss him? And remember the best parts?”
“Yeah, Roman. Exactly that. Would that be okay with you if I forgive your Uncle Brodie? Would you like to forgive him, too?”
He hesitates. “Yeah… I think I want to, but what if Dad gets mad? Or he gets a sad heart?”
“He won’t, buddy,” comes a different voice.
Roman turns around and finds Chase standing in the doorway in a suit.
My heart stumbles.
He’s here.
He came.
Chase walks over and crouches beside us.
“If you want to forgive Uncle Brodie,” he says, “that’s your choice. You told me your dad said we always have choices, right?”
Roman nods as a tear rolls down his cheek. Chase wipes it without a second thought.
“Then no one can take your choice to miss Uncle Brodie away from you.”
Roman sniffles. “Will you forgive him?”
Chase pauses before asking, “Is that what you want me to do?”
Roman thinks for a minute. “He made Erin’s heart sad,” he says with a tiny frown. “So, if you wanna be mad at him for a little while, I think that would be a’septable. Maybe when you cry out the sadness, Erin can give you a hug and you’ll feel better.”
“Thanks, buddy,” Chase croaks, his voice laced with the weight of everything left unsaid.
Roman throws his arms around both of our necks, smashing us together. Chase’s hand finds mine around Roman’s back and interlocks our fingers. His thumb traces over mine, slow and grounding. When I look up at him, he’s already looking at me.
For the first time in a few days, there’s more than just grief in his ocean eyes. There’s exhaustion but also determination. With one look, he’s promising to always be here.
“We’re going to be okay,” he whispers.
His words aren’t a vow of perfection, but a pledge of effort.
To heal. Together.
Maybe not today, but eventually, we will.
“You and me, Bookworm.”
“You and me, Eighty-Seven.”
Forgiving Brodie doesn’t erase what happened. It doesn’t take away the pain, but it makes room for meaningful memories. For the parts worth keeping.
And I know we’re not walking this path alone. It won’t be easy, but we’ll have each other to lean on and get through it.