18. Double Life
Chapter eighteen
Double Life
Charlie
Three they terrify me. Call me stubborn, stupid, or determined. I won’t let them win. I can’t. I won’t stop until I find what I need.
They don’t know about me and that’s the biggest advantage we have.
I left Layla downstairs, looking after the shop a few hours ago. I told her I needed to get the apartment tidy before my parent’s arrival later.
It’s so cold outside, but it’s even more chilling in here with the new information I found. Another death I've been able to link to the Summers’ organisation. Another fire. That poor man did nothing wrong. He found out something about where he worked, tried to leave, but the night he went home, his family home was burnt to the ground. An accident, they called it, but there’s a distinct and recognisable pattern to the way it all happened. Someone wants justice, decides to turn to the police. The fire happens. It’s not the only way they kill them off, but this seems to be their preferred choice. Then the flowers are left behind. I don’t know why it’s not been picked up before, or discovered by the police. Maybe they have people on the force who are on their books.
One that’s been done before, a signature, a warning, for those that dare to try and do the right thing. A scorched metal flower, its stem piercing the ground. Its bloom facing the cold night sky. Left in front of five properties I’ve seen so far. He never went to the police. He didn’t make it that far. They never gave him a chance. The only saving grace for him was his family was not there.
The sound of thudding feet brings me back to what I was doing, and realisation. Shit, I have all my files open and Leon is about to walk through the door. I know it's him; his footsteps are loud.
Scrambling quickly to my feet, I push everything into the box, running to my bedroom with it in my arms and placing it under my bed.
Mentally checking myself, I walk into the living room, hating that I’m keeping this secret, when they have been nothing but open and honest towards me about what they are doing to try to find Owen. They have trackers on all of his accounts, cars, trucks, and properties, but they keep reminding me he was called the ghost for a reason. If he doesn’t want to be found, he won't be. It doesn’t matter how hard they try, how far they search.
I shouldn’t care, but I do. I just need to know he’s okay and not struggling somewhere on his own.
“What time are your parents coming?” Leon asks as he walks in. I’m internally groaning at that question, as he steps into view, after helping himself to a choc-ice out of the freezer, before sitting on the sofa, like he lives here. I love my parents, but when they do anything, visit, travel, dinners, party, they do it big, and very, very messy.
I like things to be tidy.
I’m excited to see them. It’s been months since they were back in the country. I also know how exhausted I will be when they leave. “A few hours,” I tell him, flopping onto the sofa next to him, resting my head on his shoulder. “It’s only a short stop before they fly out to New York to continue their early retirement plans.” Leon’s eating what’s left of his choc-ice. I swear all he does is eat.
“I’m looking forward to meeting the people that brought you into the world.” I raise my eyebrows at him. I video called them and told them everything.
They were great about it all, understanding, loving, a little annoyed I never told them sooner. They told me they would have supported me through the divorce. They just wanted to make sure I was happy.
I am.
Ish, sort of.
I miss Owen. The ache in my heart never really leaves.
“I need to ask them if they knew what they were getting themselves into when they had you…” He laughs at his own joke.
“Funny. Why are you at my place again? I thought you had a job to do? Or at least a home to go to?”
As well as my parents coming over, Millie’s coming after her showroom/workshop closes. Her design business, ‘Millican’ which she started when she left the hospital has been doing great. It’s their wedding in just over a month. We have a few last-minute things to do before we fly out to Ibiza in three weeks’ time.
“I need to be back in the office at four. Ethan’s due back from assignment and we need to debrief before Cole heads out to take his place for the next round.” After the night at the pub six months ago, when Cole kept complaining about Miss Byron, they started to switch up who went on babysitting duty with her. Coles upgraded the name to bitch-watch. The hate he has for Miss Byron is so strong. I cringe sometimes at the way he talks about her. It’s not like him to be so hurtful to someone.
“Help me tidy before they arrive?” I ask, attempting to pull him off the sofa. Leon just looks around, confused. “There's nothing to tidy, the place looks great.”
“Fine. Have you said anything to Layla? Every time you walk in, she stops talking. I just don’t understand why.”
“I’ve never said a word to her.” He frowns, looking as puzzled as I do.
“Maybe it’s a man thing,” I add, shrugging, while moving the books on the coffee table to the other side. Leons laughs at me, leaning forward on the sofa.
“I’ll try and talk to her. See if I can make her feel more comfortable around me.”
“Thank you. I’d appreciate it since I can’t seem to get rid of you, and I want to keep her.” For that comment, he eyes me, smiles, then he moves the books I just adjusted back to their original spot just to piss me off.
My parents arrive at the shop door with bags full of food. Mum hugs me and heads straight for the stairs, arms fully loaded with bags,
“Boo, you have a great eye for this stuff,” Dad says, taking in the huge, vibrant mural behind the counter.
“A local artist did it. It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
“Ah, you always were great at seeing everyone else’s potential,” he says, hugging me from the side.
“What’s mum brought with her today?” It’s kind of a family joke. Wherever she turns up, she always brings food.
“Enough food to feed an army, as usual.” I laugh, knowing I will have enough food for a month by the time they leave. It’s just what my mum does.
“Great, saves me cooking. Millie’s coming around later to go over details for her wedding next month.” Dad nods as we reach the top of the stairs.
“How is she? Is she okay? Tell me more about this new man of hers. What’s he like?”
“He’s one of the best, dad. Exactly what she needs in her life.” I love that they care for her just as much as I do.
“Good. After what she’s been through, she needs a decent man by her side.” I couldn’t agree more. Reaching the top of the stairs, Mum’s standing there, bags still in her hands, not moving a muscle. I think she’s found Leon.
“Who is that fine beast of a man in your kitchen? Gosh, he makes the whole area look tiny.” Laughing to myself, I move past her to where Leon is rummaging through my fridge again.
“Mum, Dad, this is Leon.” He pops his head from the fridge, standing to his full height. Mum’s face flushes and my dad just shakes his head at her.
“Mr and Mrs Hudson, it’s so nice to meet you.” Mum’s face deepens to a red-ish-pink. She loves the smutty books just as much as I do, and Leon could be on one of the covers. “Charlies told me so much about you.” He extends his hand out for my dad, who shakes it firmly, before he takes the bags from my mum’s hands, placing them on the countertop and peaking in to see if there’s anything to eat. Moving with him, she swats his hands away, and he chuckles.
“I’d like to say the same, but our dear daughter has yet to mention she has a new man in her life,” Dad says flatly, and I freeze at his words. “This is the first we have heard anything about you, son?”
Son?
“No, Dad.”
Leon’s eyes say it all. Shit. I should have thought about what they would think.
“My apologies, sir. Your daughter and I are just friends. She’s with one of my best friends actually. Has been for a while.”
My mouth is literally hanging open. What the actual fuck did he just say?
Is it possible for your heart to beat faster and sink to your stomach at the same time? Because that’s exactly what mine just did. Why did he even… think that, let alone say it. To my fucking parents? We haven’t spoken about what Owen is to me, or was to me, but this is... unexpected. Shockingly so. It still hurts too much.
“Past tense, Leon . I was. Not anymore.”
Leon’s eyes sweep over me when my words come out a little firmer than they should. My parents exchange a look between them and get to unpacking the bags, spreading the contents all over the kitchen.
“What happened, Boo?” Dad asks, placing a very large chicken down on the counter.
“It’s a long story, Dad. One I don’t want to talk about. Can you give me a minute, please?” I don’t want to lose my shit in front of them.
Sweeping my gaze to Leon, I give him the worst glare I can, then walk back down to the shop, wiping away a stray tear when it falls down my cheek.
“Sorry, my bad.” Leon chases after me, pulling me into a hug when he reaches me. More tears threaten. I don’t know how to process what he said.
“What was that?” I whisper shout.
“It just came out. Sorry.”
Seriously?
“Why would you say, or even think, that I’m still with Owen, Leon?” It makes absolutely no sense. “He’s been gone for over six months.” I hate that my tears are falling now and Leon is witnessing them.
“I think of you and Owen as a couple, always have… the letter he left me, asked me to look after you. In my eyes, you are his. I know how fucked up that sounds. I really do. But he has never, in all the years I have known him, got the feels for a woman.”
“Feels? What does that mean?” I think I already know, but hearing it from someone so close to him… too real.
“Do I really have to spell it out for you?” His words aren’t angry, they’re caring, in his big gruff way. “I thought you knew already, Charlie. He’s god damn crazy about you, he…” My hand covers his mouth. I can’t hear it. I’ll break if I do.
“How can he?” My anger and frustration, pouring out. “For us to be a couple, you need to actually be together. For him to have the feels…” That sounds ridiculous when I say it. “He has to want to be here, not take off in the middle of the night, never to be seen again. Unless you know something I don’t, Leon? Have you found him?”
My head’s spinning. Granted, I’ve not been with anyone since he left. When we go out, having them with me is like the biggest cock block you could get. But it’s not through lack of trying…
“Wait a goddamn shitting minute…” Pulling my hand away from his mouth, I shove him. “Is that why I’ve not been able to get a date when we go out? Because you and the boys think I’m still with Owen. You think I’m his?” His silence tells me everything.
This is fucked up.
“Leon. Shitting hell.” Anger, embarrassment and an almost uncontrollable need to kill Leon sweeps through me. “I’m so angry with you right now.” Pulling in a big breath, I steady myself, leaning against the wall, calming my breathing. Now is not the time. “You will get back up those stairs, speak with my parents and try not to give any more information away about my relationship status, or lack thereof because of you,” I huff out, stabbing my finger into his chest, which hurts me more than it does him.
Six months and not one word from Owen. Not even his closest friends know where he is. I still want him. That’s the most shameful part of it all. I’d wait for him. I am his, even if it’s not the same for him.
I need to remind myself that even if he comes back, it will be for his friends and his business, not for me. If I couldn’t get him to stay before. What are the chances of him coming back for me now? If he really wanted me, then why would he stay away for so long?
After that realisation, I figured I needed to find another outlet for when I think of him. My training’s doubled, but I needed more of a distraction.
I started buying things, things that made me happy. Expensive shoes, cute outfits, gifts for those around me, buying huge stocks of Millie’s positive affirmation print designs to keep in the shop and sell for her. I’m now the owner of a speciality gin collection with matching multi coloured gin glasses. Light up ice cubes. And a monthly subscription to a gourmet pudding club for two because, who does one for single people?
I eat both.
Huffing out a breath, I snap at Leon, “Go back up. I’ll be there in a minute.” He disappears without a word.
Am I going to pretend that my life is normal? Yes.
Is my life anywhere near normal? No, absolutely fucking not...
Two things… three things actually. One, work is amazing. I love every second of it. It keeps me busy in the day. Keeps my mind occupied. Apart from the impulse buys every time I think of Owen. It’s when I’m in bed at night that my thoughts and dreams drift to him. I can still feel his touch now.
Two, I can’t get over him. Maybe one and two are the same thing. I desperately want to be over him, but I just can’t do it. I still wear the necklace he gave me, even after all this time. No matter what.
Three, I’m a little scared for my safety right now.
Taking a seat behind the counter, I think about all the things I have uncovered while I’ve been working for Simon. We named the leak as Josh, one of their associate solicitors, yesterday. He was the only person it could be. He has full access to all the documents, some even before they reach Simon, Annie or myself. I’ve started a separate investigation into this to dig deeper into how he could be getting the information to Mr Summers.
It's so risky. If someone finds out it’s me getting this information for Simon, they could come after me. I know what that would mean. I’ve seen the evidence of what they do to people like me. People who are trying to do the right thing. A shiver passes through my body, leaving goosebumps in its wake. It’s a chilling thought.
So, yes, I’m pretending my life is normal. Whatever that is.
Making my way back upstairs, Leon has Mum and Dad both laughing about something I’ve missed. Mum makes so much food, it takes over the table and kitchen counters. It looks like an all you can eat buffet in here right now. Mum’s even piling it into my freezer and fridge. Dad’s helping himself and Leon's guilty gaze meets mine in an apology, while he towers food on his plate.
Sitting in the middle of all the food is one of the worst gifts I will ever have the privilege of owning. I let out a burst of laughter, lighting my mood. I don’t know how they do it. This one tops them all so far. A pair of earrings, big enough to be a centrepiece on the table. Hanging from one very large gold hoop is a very large bright orange velvet hedgehog holding a cup of tea in a green mug (yes, a cup of tea). The other hoop has an equally big, bright pink velvet fox, holding a biscuit. I have never laughed so much in my life. As silly as it is, I know they get me these things to get a smile from me. And it works every time. I may have to hang these up in the shop just to show them off.
My phone beeps in my pocket, pulling it out, it’s a message from Millie asking me why I’ve locked the door.
I give her the ever-changing code to get in the back. After a few minutes, she’s at the door, walking very slowly.
“I dislike you very much right now, Charlotte Hudson.” She’s full naming me again, so I know I‘m in trouble. “My legs are dying after yesterday’s training session. No, my whole body is in pain. How do you do this every other day? I barely made it up your stairs. I can barely sit on the loo.”
“I did warn you. You also asked me not to go easy on you.”
“Why would you put yourself through that?” Leon says after swallowing what looks like a whole chicken breast. “Me and the guys will never train with Charlie. She’s brutal—skilled as fuck—but a machine.”
“Now you tell me, Leon. Thank you very much,” Millie says. “I should have known really. I’ve seen you do this for years, but never really thought about how much it would hurt.” I hug her close, feeling lucky to have them all around me
“Bill, Susie, I’ve not seen you in forever,” Millie cries as she embraces them like they are her long-lost parents. Mum and Dad both hug her tight, before dragging her to sit down on the sofa and laughing as she attempts to sit down on her sore legs. She’ll be feeling them for days.
My apartment is a mess, but it feels full of love. We’re swept away in last minute wedding plans, Mum’s never-ending photos of their travels, and questions about how Leon got to be the size he is. I fear dad may start taking it personally if she carries on.