Eighteen
Vikrant
The town council optimistically named it Aronda Town Hospital.
In reality, it was a small house in the middle of Market Road with two examination rooms, two in-house hospital beds and a storage room which also coupled as the staff’s lunchroom. My office was stacked, end-to-end, with old case files that I despaired of digitizing and the X-ray machine stuttered ever so often.
I gave Anika a sidelong glance as she took in the contents of my dingy office, hands in the pockets of her jeans. She wore a tasteful, loose tunic over the jeans as befit a female doctor at a clinic. But it only emphasized her femininity,
And I couldn’t forget how she’d looked in the purple and red Paithani sari, my first anniversary gift to her, as she sang along with the rest of the family during the morning song rituals.
She didn’t know the words and was basically tuneless, but the effort touched me immensely.
In fact, everything about her touched me. And not just sexually. She was …softer, more vulnerable and giving, the sharp edges that had formed in her during her MD exams dulled with attrition and time.
If it was possible, I was in danger of falling even more hopelessly in love with her than I already was.
***
‘It’s homely,’ Anika commented politely.
I chuckled. ‘It’s a freaking mess. You don’t have to be nice about it.’
She gave a sheepish smile. ‘It is a freaking mess.’ Then her smile turned kinder, empathetic. Lighting up her eyes from the inside out. ‘Maybe I could help clean it up a little bit.’
I nodded. ‘Yeah, that would be awesome. The outpatient hours are about to begin now and you’re a good diagnostician. If you can take over the patients; I’ll tackle some of this paperwork.’
She pursed her lips before replying, ‘Sounds like a plan.’
‘What?’ I demanded. ‘What did I say now?’
She fiddled with the fringe-y thing dangling at the end of her phone. ‘It’s not like you to admit I’m good at something too. Especially when it comes to internal medicine.’
‘People change, Ani.’ I hoped she noted I wasn’t talking only about this one instance and this one compliment.
I hoped she noted I meant all of me.
‘Yes,’ she agreed. ‘We have. We learned to not fight every five minutes.’ Her smile was playful, but her eyes were sad.
I understood then, she didn’t know how much things had changed for me. I was probably going to have to talk about it at some point with her. But not now. Now there was work to be done.
On cue, the doorbell jangled, signaling the arrival of the first patient.
We spoke at the same time, the strange spell binding us broken.
‘I’ll go see who’s there…’
‘You can introduce me to your patient.’
I ran a hand through my hair. ‘I’ll introduce you to the patient. But I should warn you. It’s not as exciting as cutting open little babies.’
‘Shut up, Vikrant.’ She stuck her tongue out and equilibrium was established between us.
***
Hours later, or so it seemed, I raised my aching head from the desktop screen, where I’d spent the whole shift just updating patient records and creating fresh ones. It was an old machine that still ran on Windows 2007 and glitched a lot.
But the funds required to change it and everything else technical went into overhauling the examination rooms, ordering fresh equipment for the hospital. And getting a proper toilet (with a bidet and everything) fitted for the three staff members.
I was willing to rough it almost everywhere but in the washroom.
I stretched in the creaking chair and stood up, feeling every single muscle and body groan in unison. I heard laughter come from one of the exam rooms. Anika’s and a young woman’s.
I followed the sound like a man hypnotized.
The door to the exam room was open and Anika was sitting on the steel stool I usually occupied. She snapped off the gloves she used for examining the patient on the rexin pleather bed– a very pregnant woman named Neelima Patil.
Neelima colored as she saw me. ‘Dr. Pandit. How are you?’
‘I’m fine, Neelima. How are you?’
‘Totally fine,’ Anika said before the mom-to-be could reply. She took off her gloves and dropped them in the examining tray that also held a stethoscope and blood pressure cuff. ‘And the little one’s doing fine too.’
Neelima protectively held her belly and swung her legs down from the bed.
I reflexively moved to help her. Noted that Anika had a small smile playing on her lips as she watched me assist the woman.
When Neelima’s chappal -clad feet touched the ground, she shot us a grateful, tremulous smile. ‘I am so glad Dr. Anika is here today.’ She spoke in Marathi. ‘The baby hasn’t kicked since yesterday and I was worried…’ She bit her lip and pressed her hands to her belly again.
‘I can understand, Neelima,’ I said gently.
‘Thank you, Neelima, for trusting me with your baby’s health. It’s not easy talking about your deepest fears with a new doctor.’ Anika spoke in halting Marathi. ‘And I told you. Laughter is the best medicine.’ She winked, for added drama.
Neelima laughed again. And bid us goodbye after promising to come back the next day for her daily checkup. She was due to deliver any day, and I wanted her monitored as much as possible.
I now watched Anika move about the exam room, setting the tray back in place, wipe the stethoscope and cuff with disinfectant so it was ready for the next patient.
‘Having fun?’ I asked, idly.
Anika shrugged. ‘Would it surprise you if I said I actually am?’
Yes.
‘No.’ I looked at Anika’s marking on Neelima’s patient file. ‘You handled Neelima quite well.’
‘I’m a doctor, babe.’ Anika remarked absently. ‘It’s what I do best.’
‘Yes, but you have to admit that your bedside manner always needed work.’ I put my hands up in defense when she would have countered. ‘You are an incredible surgeon but it’s not the same thing, exactly, is it? Talking to a to-be-mom versus actually saving her child on the OT?’
Anika stopped moving and gave the question actual consideration. ‘You’re right,’ she conceded. ‘Doing this…what you do… Talking. Connecting. Making people less afraid of medicine while treating them despite their best intentions, it’s hard. I am not good at it.’
‘You were great at it, today,’ I said gently. ‘Neelima always came here in tears because her in-laws are stressing her out about delivering a boy.’
Anika nodded. ‘Yeah. She mentioned it. I didn’t want to press the issue.’ She gave me a sideways glance. ‘Or tell her she should ask her in-laws to fuck off.’
I grinned. ‘Thank God! I would have to answer to her in-laws if you did something like that.’ My grin faded. ‘Not that they don’t deserve it.’
Anika crossed over to me and squeezed my wrist. ‘I never understood, not really, why this was important to you. I’m beginning to see why now. It’s admirable, Vikrant.’
My heart stuttered at the sincere earnestness of her compliment. It was like she had actually transformed into a different person, someone who was more present and less bitter and resentful. It made her luminous.
‘But you still want to cut open little babies,’ I said quietly.
Anika smiled sadly. ‘What I do is admirable too.’ Her words were uttered with quiet pride. She wasn’t asking for my validation or approval. And that made her a heroine.
I nodded. ‘Yes, it does. And I’m really glad to have your expertise here for however long I can have it.’
‘Me too.’
I wanted to tell her more, tell her everything, but the little bell rang, signaling that the next patient had come.
The moment was lost, so I flashed another smile and said, ‘Let me take this next patient. I’m almost done with file work for today.’
***
We continued working in unison, crossing exam rooms and talking to each other and the available compounder (local pharmacist) until it was past two pm.
Then, Anika stuck her head in my office. ‘Hey, Smita Kaki just texted me. Apparently, the feast is ready. We should head back for lunch.’
‘Yeah. Okay. Give me a minute.’ I paused stacking the dusty files I’d removed for updating and carelessly placed the last one in the middle of the stack instead of the top.
As a result, the whole thing, all fifty files, came crashing down on my head. I yelled and cursed and waved my hands wildly to combat the papers and cardboard files raining down on me.
Anika squealed and immediately leaped into the room. ‘Oh my god, Vik. Are you hurt?’
‘Just my dignity,’ I muttered as the last piece of paper fluttered down.
We bent down simultaneously to gather the papers, and promptly bumped our heads.
‘Ouch,’ Anika muttered as she sat down hard on the old-fashioned mosaic tiles, rubbing her temple.
‘I’m sorry.’ Without thinking, I bent over her and cupped the back of her head in my palm. My thumb brushed against her temple. Soft and a bit dewy with sweat.
Her eyes were huge, the golden circles in her iris illuminated in the tube light.
My hold tightened around her hair. ‘I am loving this short hair.’
Anika’s hand tightened on my forearm. ‘Vikrant…’
‘I’m going to kiss you now.’ Desire was a roar in my veins, the pulse in my blood. It was the only thing driving me. I didn’t care about the past or our opposite personalities, or anything else. Except... Anika was here. In my arms.
And I was going to kiss her.
She closed her eyes.
‘Tell me if you don’t want me to, Ani.’