Nineteen
Vikrant
I endured the longest three seconds of my life as I waited for her to refuse me.
She said nothing.
I leaned down and brushed my lips against hers, feeling their pillowy softness. Going hard at just that mere contact.
She reared up, winding her arms around my neck and kissed me back, opening her mouth and chasing my tongue. Making a slightly broken sound like she couldn’t breathe, like she didn’t want to. As long as we were kissing.
I held her closer, digging my fingertips into her skull, her waist – her skin, her scent – surrounding me in a cloud of perfume and womanly musk. I willingly drowned in it.
Anika crawled into my lap, not letting go of my mouth and I groaned as her tits brushed against my chest.
I tumbled to place her against the wall of metal cupboards and crowded her, running my questing hands up and down her sides. Relearning the shape of her. She was firm and soft, giving and strong at the same time. When I squeezed her breast through the tunic she arched straight into me, her tongue doing its damndest to squeeze my breath, my very life away.
I was not letting go of her lips. Nibbling at them, biting them, sucking at them and drinking as much of her in as I could in one single kiss.
God, wanting her was my personal heaven and hell.
‘I don’t want to stop kissing you,’ she whispered against my lips, after blisteringly hot seconds of making out like horny teens.
‘Why?’
‘Because then I’d remember you’re not mine to kiss.’
The words killed my desire as surely as a bucket of ice-cold water would have.
***
I carefully unpeeled myself away from her body.
I thought I felt her shudder as I withdrew from her. But it wasn’t her. She was cool and removed. I was the one messed up enough to want her even though we were over.
Fuck.
This.
Mess.
‘Vik…’
I held up a hand. I was so grateful it didn’t tremble. Because my blood was still running hot and south of my brain. My vision misted with lust. ‘Don’t,’ I growled. ‘Don’t give me whatever speech you want to give.’ Don’t say this was a mistake.
'I wasn’t going to give a speech.’ She sat cross-legged against the metal drawers. Her mutter was barely audible.
All of a sudden, she looked dwarf-like against the wall. Even though she was not that small. I felt a spurt of protectiveness. And hardened my instincts. She didn’t need protection. Not when she was capable of destroying me with mere words.
‘Are you…?’ I cleared my throat, the words sticking in them. Afraid to come out. Afraid of her answer even more. 'Are you seeing someone?’
Incredibly, she looked stunned. Hurt chasing across her delicate features, showcasing the slight downturn of her plump, just-kissed lips. ‘Why? Are you?’ she asked quietly.
I hesitated. Then shook my head. I didn’t want to hurt her like that, even for a second. ‘No, I haven’t had the time to look for anyone in that way. The clinic takes up all my time.’
‘Did you think I’d come here,” she asked dangerously quietly, ‘And pretend to be your loving wife if I was with someone? Is that what you think of me, Vikrant?’
I sighed and sat cross-legged opposite her. ‘No. I don’t think you’ll ever do that. Your honesty is troublesome, but you are honest.’
Anika shot me a justifiably bitter look. ‘I don’t think this is a compliment.’
I checked my nails out. They’d grown a bit. Time for a simple manicure. ‘That is not what I meant.’
‘Then what? You were checking to make sure you didn’t trespass on some other dude’s property?’She was this close to exploding. I could feel it.
I sighed. Loudly. Extremely suffering. ‘God, Ani. Give me a break,’ I tried again, ‘I just lost my freaking mind and kissed you when you are here as a favor to me.’
‘And here I thought you were jealous.’
‘Very funny.’ I gave her a small smile.
I wanted to tell her the truth. Jealousy was a small emotion compared to how I felt when I thought of my Anika, my wife, with some other man. Every cell in my body protested at the idea, however sexist it was, of Anika belonging to some other man. Him kissing her, like this. Holding her as if she was his personal salvation.
God!
I needed help. I needed to stay the fuck away from her. It was the kindest thing to do, for either of us.
I stood up in a fluid motion and held my hand out. She took it and I pulled her up slowly.
‘Come on.’ I squeezed her fingers once and then stepped back, well back from her. ‘Let’s go home and grab some food. Clearly food deprivation is a real problem.’
I prayed she’d take the lifeline and not press the issue further. I could see the mark I’d left on her torso, red and shining. The tunic had shifted so the seams were misaligned. And I had a sudden vision of tearing the damn thing off her and feasting on her like a man deprived.
She took the bait. ‘Clearly.’
And that was the end of that ill-fated interlude.