Chapter 30
Thirty
Wolf
Morning sunlight streamed through the windows.
Dog kept barking at those damn rats going apeshit on their wheel, and I wanted to chuck the pillow at the cage.
I hadn’t slept worth a crap, just drifted in and out of a light slumber, every once in a while reaching for Jade, only to feel empty sheets, then glance at the pile of pills still on the nightstand. I couldn’t make sense of my emotions.
One minute, I was mad as hell; the next, I felt sick to my stomach. I’d go from feeling like I had overreacted to feeling like an idiot for trusting her when she obviously didn’t trust me—keeping that penguin as a back-up plan, trying to accuse me of going off with Megan…
I tried closing my eyes again, but that damn rat kept going on the wheel, sending Dog into a frenzy. Then pop music blasted from somewhere downstairs. “Fuck it,” I mumbled, getting out of bed to pack my practice bag before I went downstairs.
Tampons still littered the living room, along with popcorn and empty Solo cups. I couldn’t be bothered to be annoyed, not when it felt like my entire world was nothing but a ball of flaming shit.
Cassie stood at the stove, screeching along to the lyrics while burning whatever was in the skillet. “Where’s Jade?” she asked.
The mention of her name stung, and I tried to swallow around the knot in my throat. “She went home.” I dropped my bag on the floor.
She stopped stirring whatever was in the bowl and looked at me. “What do you mean, she went home?”
“That she fucking left. I deleted the damn video.” Saying it out loud hurt like a motherfucker. Add to that the fact that she’d left without much of a fight—like she realized I wasn’t worth it—hurt even more. “You should probably leave, too.”
Her eyes narrowed, studying me like I was full of shit. “You deleted the video?”
“That’s what I said. So get out. I’ve had enough of your shit, Cassie.” I moved past her and grabbed the coffee, but I could feel her stare burning a hole in the back of my skull.
“How long ago?”
“A few weeks.” I felt myself tense, expecting a skillet to the head.
“Are you?—”
“Turn that shit off, Cass,” Rogue shouted from the hallway. “It’s nine on a Sunday, for Christ’s sake.”
I turned just in time to catch him step into the kitchen and Cassie hurl a batter-covered spatula at him. He ducked seconds before it would have smacked him in the face. “What the?—”
“Wolf said he deleted the video! Weeks ago.”
Rogue’s gaze swung to me. “Yeah, but?—”
“But nothing. You’ve kept me here for no damn reason!
Cleaning your shit. Cooking your stupid food.
” She snatched the mixing bowl from the counter and chucked it across the room.
Batter splattered the wall, the floor, Rogue.
“Fuck you.” Her crazy gaze pinged between Rogue and me.
“Both of you!” Her awful music hit a chorus that was all about women’s empowerment right before she shoved past him. “I’m out!”
“Not before you clean the tampons and shit up from your feminist coupe!”
“Fuck off!
Her angry footfalls echoed through the house before his attention turned to me. “Why the hell did you tell her?”
I cut off the shitty music. “Because I’m tired of this shit.
That crap at the auction last night. Cops showing up.
Aren’t you tired of all the petty shit Cassie’s done yet?
” I pointed at his pink shirt. “That. The rats. The laxative, itching powder, putting you in the fucking ER with an allergic reaction?—”
“She didn’t know I was allergic to chilies.”
“Give me a break.” He could not be that stupid. “And then Jade…” I swiped a hand over my jaw. Saying her name had a pussy-ass ache forming in my chest. “I just wanted them out of the house. I think they got the point by now.”
Rogue went to open his mouth, but I cut him off.
“Her being here almost fucked up my chance at the NFL. I told you it wasn’t a good idea on day one.”
I snatched the loaf of bread from the counter, then dropped a piece into the toaster, hating myself for jumping back in with her, falling in love with her all over again, like nothing had changed.
It had. We had changed. A year and a half ago, Jade never would have dreamed of screwing me over like that.
And even if she didn’t intend to use that penguin against me, the fact that the thought was there was enough to have me questioning everything.
“I thought you two were together again?”
“Yeah. Well, hard to be with someone who intends to fuck you over.”
The scent of toasted bread filled the kitchen seconds before it popped up with a clang.
“What are you talking about? We were the ones fucking them over.”
“You never would have turned that video in to the cops. And you know it.” The entire ordeal had been stupid.
Rogue had pretended it was to teach them a lesson. When I knew damn well, the main reason he wanted them here was to hold Cassie captive. The idiot was in love with her and couldn’t see it. At least my stupid ass was well aware of how dumb and na?ve my heart was.
Bellamy appeared in the doorway, wiping sleep from his eyes. “What in the hell is going on? Cassie’s up there ranting.” He moved past Rogue and me, grabbing the pot of coffee. “You two are down here shouting.”
Rogue jutted his chin toward me. “Wolf let the girls leave.”
Footfalls thudded down the steps, followed by Cassie shouting something unintelligible before the front door slammed shut.
Bellamy glanced over his shoulder, confusion wrinkling his brow. “Why? Didn’t they have another week?”
“Jade had one of the pinger penguins in her backpack,” I said. As I took in Bellamy’s shocked expression, that sense of betrayal I’d felt last night once again took root in my gut, its ugly tendrils spreading like a disease. “She was going to turn it into the cops.”
Rogue snatched his phone from his pocket, jamming his finger over the screen before storming to the back door. “I swear to God, Cassie. I’m going to?—”
The door slammed closed, and I took my coffee and toast to the table.
Bellamy sat across from me, but I didn’t look up. “I don’t think Jade would have actually turned it in.”
Maybe she wouldn’t have. That was what she’d said last night, but the fact that she still had it in her bag, when we were supposed to be together… “Doesn’t matter. Hendrix was probably right about the Medusa bullshit.”
“Hendrix is never right.”
“He said I should watch my ass.” I crammed the toast into my mouth, thinking about how the guilt of having that video, even though I knew no one else would see it had damn near killed me after I’d kissed her that first time.
I felt like a hypocrite. But Jade hadn’t seemed to have a problem keeping that penguin in her backpack, evidently carrying it with her everywhere she went. A loaded gun to use the moment I fucked up. That wasn’t love. That was… I didn’t even know what to call it.
“He’s always said that a woman scorned couldn’t be trusted farther than you could throw her.”
“I mean?—”
“Did you forget about the time Drew rammed her Porsche into your car?”
I knew Bellamy wasn’t about to try to argue with me. If anyone knew about a woman scorned, that dipshit sure as hell did. His girl had a temper rivaled by few—well, few outside of Dayton…
A low chuckle bubbled from Bellamy’s lips. “Yeah. I remember.”
“So, don’t act like Hendrix and his wiffle-ball bat injured brain aren’t right about that.” I hated to admit it, but he was.
I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe all of this between Jade and me had been some petty form of payback.
Like her being in this house had become an opportunity to get back at me for trying to move on before her.
Maybe all she’d wanted was to remind me of how much I needed her, just to screw me over, and take it all away again.
He sipped his coffee. “Jade wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. Set your truck on fire, sure. But turn you into the cops?” The kitchen chair creaked when he leaned back in it. “No way.”
I wanted to believe him, but the image of Dog ripping the head off that penguin, the pills exploding everywhere, wouldn’t leave me the fuck alone.
It meant she didn’t trust me. That no matter what we’d said to each other, how we’d touched each other, the way we’d looked at each other like nothing else in this shitty world mattered.
No matter how much I loved her, some part of her still saw me as the enemy. And maybe she was right. Maybe there was too much resentment and hurt between us for any of this to work. Maybe I was mistaking it for something worth saving when there wasn’t anything left to save.