3. Kennedy
The smell of fresh-baked pie announces Mom’s presence before she actually comes into my room after Linc and Remy leave for their party.
“You should go,” she says quietly. “You never leave the house anymore. It would be good for you. I know that you want to.”
She is right. I’ve been sitting up here for three hours, trying to convince myself that it is time for me to make a move, to do something about my feelings for Linc, but so many things stop me. Not the least of which is what I went through the last time I’d gone to a party with anyone in our town. But I can’t tell my mom that. Instead, I put on my best fake smile and aim it right at her.
“I think I’d rather stay home and watch a movie. With you.” Then, just to make sure she buys it, I bat my eyelashes at her and pout.
She doesn’t buy it, not for a second. Her indelicate snort is the final thing that gives it away.
“Fine,” I huff at her. “I don’t want to go.”
“Liar,” she says bluntly. Mom never really has time for bullshit, especially after everything that happened. “You do want to go. I know for a fact that you still have feelings for Linc. Even after everything you went through. When you wouldn’t let anyone else in. Do you think I didn’t see you writing letters to him at the kitchen table?”
Swallowing is suddenly extremely hard, as her words cut through every excuse I try to put up.
“I also saw that you never mailed a single letter either. Which meant you were never planning on telling him in person.” Mom keeps going like she hasn’t just wiped me out with her words. “So, I suggest you raid your closet for your cutest little black dress, and you go make him see you. Really see you. Especially if he can bring you back to me after everything that happened last year.” She holds it together until the end, but that’s when I see her wipe away a few tears.
Okay, so keeping everything that happened to myself hurts the people around me. I understand that. But if they find out the truth, the full extent of it, there isn’t a doubt in my mind that it will destroy my entire family. So, I’ll continue to keep my secret, and I’ll heal in my own way to protect everyone I love.
Still, Mom is right. I do want Linc, more than anything else. I want what he’ll bring to me—something I didn’t have before and need now.
Blinking away the stray thoughts, I decide that Mom is right. After all, it’s not like I want him forever. Just one night will be enough. One night to get him out of my head and into my bed, and then I can just walk away. It’s not like it will be all that hard, either. Linc is in the military. He’ll be going back to his duty station, and I’ll finally be able to get on with my life. Not that my life revolves around him, just that he’ll be able to give me something back that I’ve had stolen—a choice.
“I don’t have a little black dress.” The admission hurts, for so many reasons.
A year ago, I’d have four at a minimum. Although after that dark night, I threw out anything that made it easy for me to be taken advantage of. No skirts, dresses, or anything that rode up on my thighs. I’ve lived in overly large shirts and leggings ever since. The only thing to survive the purge was my skinny jeans. Those only made it because I knew at some point, I’d have to do something requiring actual pants and not leggings.
“Raid your sister’s closet. Cassie kept at least half your dresses before you could get them into the trash.” Mom rolls her eyes. “Lord knows that girl is going to be the death of me.” With that, she leaves me to my own devices. Mom is always like that.
She let us learn and live on our own to help us grow. Or maybe it was because she had four kids and was tired as hell of dealing with all of us and our problems.
“I love you,” she calls back from down the hall. “Go have fun. Do crazy things. Your father and I won’t hear a thing.”
Having my mother practically screaming down the hall about sex stuff is embarrassing enough but combine that with her dragging my dad into it, and I’m really glad that my siblings aren’t here. My mortification, however, is complete when she pops back into my room with a devious grin.
“Remember, Kennedy. No glove, no love.”
“Go away!” I throw the pillow under my head at her and groan. “Why do you have to suck so much?”
“I don’t suck,” comes from down the hallway in a singsong voice. “Go have fun. It’s been too long since you smiled for real, and you can tell me all about it tomorrow.” How she says all of that in one breath and makes sure I hear every word from down the hall is completely beyond me. It has to be a mom thing.
There is no way I could ever be more embarrassed than in this moment, but she is right. I do need to have some fun. There is only one thing standing in my way, my stupid, ridiculous fear of being in a crowd. It is so paralyzing that I’m having trouble even pushing myself off the bed to find a dress in Cassie’s closet. Except the longer I lie there, the later it will get, and the more likely it is that Linc will end up picking up some other girl. I really, really don’t want that to happen.
So, with a growl that would make a lion proud, I roll until I hit the edge of the bed and stand up. Then I march into Cassie and Casper’s room, throwing open the closet door with a dramatic flourish. I wish that the dress I want was right there staring out at me, but it isn’t. In fact, most of Cassie’s clothes are hideous and definitely haven’t come from me. Even a year ago, I had way better taste than she did. When I get to the back of the closet, that’s when things actually get interesting. Behind her hideously bright-pink prom dress, I strike gold.
Dress after dress that I’d bought, and thought that I’d thrown away, stare back at me. Yet none of them are perfect. Not a single one of them is enough to make Linc see me the way I want him to. They are too long, too bright, or just not right. At least not until I get to the very last one. The dress I bought the day before everything went to shit. It is the dress I meant to wear to my graduation party the year before. I thought for sure that I threw it away. Somehow Cassie, gods love her, had saved it.
As I pull it from her closet, I know that I’ll be wearing it. Even as the thought of showing that much skin sends shivers down my spine, I know I’ll be safe. If I’m anywhere near my brother, Remy will kill someone for hurting me. Hopefully, Linc will take one look and not let me out of his sight.
With a smirk on my face, I take the trophy dress back to my room and get ready. With that little black dress as my own armor, I’m definitely ready to go to war.
* * *
Linc
“She’s trying to kill me.”
The way Kennedy twists toward me in that skintight dress, even across the crowded room, makes it seem like she hears my whispered words. There isn’t a back to it, either. Just a few strands of black that go from her shoulders down to the top of her ass. I know I’m not the only one checking her out. Everywhere I look, guys are stealing glances and some are even outright staring at her.
When she looks up and her eyes meet mine, there is no doubt in my mind that she knows what I’m thinking. What I want more than anything is too obvious. Trying not to draw attention to myself, I find a way to adjust my pants and hide the growing bulge. Kennedy catches me, though. Her smile is a challenge in and of itself. One I can’t ignore after an hour of her presence.
Remy is gone. He didn’t even make it an hour before he and his girlfriend disappeared upstairs to her bedroom. Danny, on the other hand, doesn’t even bother showing up after his fiancée, Parker, tells him they need to talk about something important. I laugh slightly at the memory of his pale face when she called. He is head over heels for that girl, and his worry that she is about to break up with him is evident. That leaves me, staring across a busy party, as Kennedy wears a dress that will sure as shit look better decorating my bedroom floor than her body.
“Screw it.”
The crowd parts like the sea when I push my way through, heading directly for Kennedy. Less than a minute later, I’m standing in front of the woman of my dreams. She is every inch a woman, pushing me beyond my limits. Watching her there, barely able to keep my hands to myself, a few things I’ve been denying become very clear.
She isn’t just my best friend’s little sister. She isn’t the little girl who used to wear her hair in pigtails. She isn’t the girl I tried my best to ignore, telling myself she was off-limits.
Nope. Not at all.
Kennedy is everything to me. Always has been and always will be. It is time that I claim what is mine. Not just for one night either. No, I will never kid myself like that. One night will never be enough. I need every night, every kiss, from now until the end. I just have to convince her that whatever happened to her doesn’t mean anything—not to me.
“Linc?”
I blink and find myself looking directly into her seeking gray eyes.
“Is everything okay?” Her voice wrecks me, leaving me breathless and unable to answer her directly. No, nothing is okay. It won’t be either, not until I have her in my arms, pressed up against my body, asking me for more.
I hold out a hand, not even caring that she can see the way I tremble slightly. I need to touch her, to make sure that she understands.
“Let’s go.”
She doesn’t flinch at the harsh way I speak. She doesn’t even blanch, not my Kennedy. Instead, she turns and says goodbye to the girls at her side. I can’t hear a word, though. The blood is rushing through my brain, heading south in anticipation of what is to come. Then she places one small hand in mine, and I lead her away.
“Finally.”
I’m not sure which one of us has spoken, but it is clear. She wants me. Just as much as I want her. This time I’m finally going to get her.
“Let’s go to my house,” she says quietly once we are away from everyone else. “So I don’t have to do the walk of shame in the morning.”
I struggle to hold on to the little bit of control that I have left and nod once. I’ll take her to the moon if it means that I get to be with her. Kennedy leads the way to my truck, and I open the passenger door like a gentleman. When she goes to step up, I know there will be issues. Her brother has a massively lifted truck, yeah, but his beast has nothing on mine. During the summer, I go mudding. That means big wheels and a lift kit to bring my Dodge Ram up to snuff. Kennedy takes one look at the seat and looks at me over her shoulder, catching me staring at her ass.
“You’re gonna have to help me.”
Her words are the invitation I need to put my hands on her body again. I do in my next breath, lifting her up by the hips and helping her get in. I even avert my eyes, mostly. Even though there is nothing that can erase the wisp of hot pink that I see from under that dress.
She doesn’t say a single word to me after that until we are sitting in the driveway outside her house. The silence between us is charged with our growing need and I know without a shadow of a doubt that she wants this. Still, that doesn’t stop me from asking.
“Kennedy.” My voice breaks on her name. All I can do is cough to hide it. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
She turns to face me then, tears in her eyes that break my heart.
“Of course, I want this.” Her words are worse than any blade to my skin could be. “I wore this dress in front of those people, didn’t I?” She waves one hand over her dress, drawing my eyes to her exquisite body. “You just rescued me.”
My eyes snap back to hers. “What do you mean?”
She wraps her arms around her chest, doing her best to shut me out. Even when she looks out the window into the darkness, she is still beautiful. There isn’t any other option, so I lean over the center console and brush her hair behind her ear, using my hand to gently turn her face to mine.
“Look at me, Kennedy.” I don’t mean for the words to come out like they do, but that doesn’t stop them from sounding like a harsh demand. One I’m glad she obeys when her eyes meet mine. “Tell me what happened.”
She hedges but gives in just enough. “I was uncomfortable. You got me out of there. Thank you.” Kennedy turns her lips into my hand and kisses my palm, effectively dismissing my question.
All the uncertainty is gone when she opens her eyes again. “Come inside with me.”
I’m not a genius, but I’m also not a complete idiot. I go with her, willing to take anything she is going to give me. The entire time I follow her up to her room, I know I’m one lucky fool.