4. Kennedy
To say that I’m nervous is a massive understatement. Had I cleaned my room before leaving for the party? Yes. Does that mean that I am one hundred percent comfortable with Linc seeing everything inside it? Hell no. But am I worried about him seeing me naked? Yes… Yes, I really am, more than I want to admit.
None of that stops me from leading him through the silent house and up the stairs to my room. Nerves, fears, and worries that would have made it impossible to even try moving forward with anyone else only fuel me on when it comes to Linc. Sweaty palms, butterflies, everything I’m currently experiencing can all be attributed to the fact that I am finally going to get Linc.
It should have been him.
Shaking my head at the intrusive thoughts, I walk into the bedroom with my head held high and a smile on my face. Sure, it is a nervous smile, but it is a smile, nonetheless.
“Finally,” he breathes against the nape of my neck.
I didn’t even realize he was that close. Still, as soon as the door clicks shut behind him, there is no mistaking the desire that flares in Linc’s eyes.
He doesn’t make a move, though. Instead, he crosses his arms over his chest and tilts his head to the side.
“You wore that just to torture me, didn’t you?”
The way his voice caresses my skin sends sparks of anticipation down my spine.
“Yep.” The honest answer slips off my tongue easily enough. “I wanted you to see me. No one else.”
Linc snorts but doesn’t move any closer than he already is. “It sure as fuck worked. I almost beat Ray’s head in for staring at you all night. I could literally see him touching you in my mind, and there’s no way I’d let that happen.”
“You’re not touching me.” The words come out before I can stop them.
Those words don’t come out alone; with them comes the insecurities that I’ve worked so hard to hide. The problem is that they aren’t some tiny things peeping out from behind the mirror or even out from under the bed. They are standing right in front of me, like a wall blocking out the way I know Linc is looking at me. All I’ve wanted, for longer than I can remember, is him. At this very moment he is literally standing in my room, with a tent practically bulging his pants. Yet, I don’t feel like I’m enough; all of my courage, my confidence has vanished.
“Hey.”
Opening eyes that I didn’t realize I had shut, I find him standing directly in front of me. Once he sees my eyes, he puts both of his hands around my face and touches his forehead to mine just for a second while he takes a deep breath.
“The only thing I can think about is you. I just can’t figure out how to do this quietly,” his admission ends with a laugh. “I was afraid that if I ever started touching you, I wouldn’t be able to stop.”
“I don’t want you to stop.”
There is something holding Linc in place, an invisible barrier of his own keeping him from taking that last step. But as soon as the words leave my mouth, it is gone.
With a groan I can feel all the way to my toes, he gives in. The hands on either side of my face tighten momentarily before he presses his lips to mine in a gentle kiss. Gentle only lasts for a second before everything between us becomes frantic.
I wind my arms around his neck, and he picks me up in the same move. There is really only one option while he deepens the kiss and moves us toward my bed. I wrap my legs around him, not giving a shit that the dress is hiked all the way up around my waist. When his tongue pushes into my mouth, there is no hiding the way my back arches and my body presses even closer to his.
He chuckles but doesn’t break the kiss. At least, not until he is setting me down onto the bed. I watch as he strips his shirt off with one arm, then I stare at the dog tags that are resting on his chest. When he reaches for the button on his jeans, I push his hands away and undo it myself. Once I’m sure I’m not about to take his dick off when I unzip them, I look up to see fire blazing in his eyes.
Just to tease him a little, I bite my lower lip and smile. While he watches, I slide off the bed and onto my knees in front of him. Then, before he can stop me, I lean forward and press a small kiss to his dick through his underwear.
“Just touch it,” he grinds out through gritted teeth. “Please.”
Linc doesn’t push me. He doesn’t even move as he waits for me to do what I want. The way he lets me control everything without me even saying a word, it is everything I didn’t know I needed. Not until we are in that moment and he is giving it to me.
Still wearing the same smile, I pull his underwear down and his erection almost hits me in the face.
“Eager?” I look back up at him, which turns out to be a mistake.
Linc loses his patience, and I can’t blame him. I’m teasing him, after all. He growls deep in his throat and then pulls me up off my knees with one hand.
The other practically rips my dress in his haste to get it off.
“Knew you weren’t wearing a bra.”
Linc leans forward and presses me into the bed with another passionate kiss. This time, there isn’t anything between us, and I feel the heat of his body against my own. It isn’t enough. I need more, so much more.
I don’t even get a chance to break the kiss and ask for what I need, though. Somehow Linc knows. With his hands on my skin, he finds every place I have always secretly wanted him to touch. When he finally reaches my core, I’m so wet for him that it’s almost embarrassing. Not once does he stop kissing me, either.
My back arches when he pushes a finger inside, and I shatter. Apparently, that’s all it takes with Linc—a kiss, one finger, and I am done. He doesn’t laugh, doesn’t snicker, doesn’t even move until I’m back in my own body. I don’t even know how he finds a condom, but he does. The unmistakable sound of the wrapper being torn open is my only indication that he is conscious of us needing one.
Gods, he really is perfect.
“Condom,” he says needlessly.
The smile on his face is what hits me the hardest. All his need, affection, everything I’ve ever hoped to see, staring down at me. Without thought, I reach up and put one hand on his stubble-covered cheek.
The demand comes out breathlessly. “Kiss me.”
I shouldn’t be surprised that he listens, but I am. When his lips meet mine, there is nothing else for me to do but wrap my legs around his hips. With him, my body instinctively wants to make it as easy as possible for what comes next.
When his dick presses against my wetness, there is one moment of hesitation. One second when I freeze, forgetting where I am and who I am with. Just that one second when I’m back in the past.
“It should have been you,” I tell him honestly, without any hesitation. In that moment, when his eyes meet mine and silently ask permission, I speak from my heart. “It was always you.”
“I’ll fix what’s broken with tacos and sex.” Linc stares directly into my eyes. I know that he’s telling the truth. He’s using my favorite food against me, which we both know I can never turn down.
With a small nod, I agree. Not only to that, but to give him all of me. Even if it is only for the night.
He kisses me again, gently this time, but I’m tired of waiting. My legs are already around his hips, so I tighten them. Suddenly, Linc is inside of me all the way and I love it. Every single fiber of my body is alive, screaming for more.
Time vanishes, my heart races in my ears, and there is nothing that exists in the world except the two of us, together. My body meets his, thrust after thrust. My second orgasm blindsides me, taking me completely by surprise, but I don’t go alone. In the distance, I feel him go still, and then his forehead is pressed against mine again. This time, however, he is sweating and breathing just as hard as I am.
“Perfect.”
Linc kisses me again and then goes to clean up.
Honestly, I don’t expect him to come back after the door opens quietly. He does, however, shutting off the light before he crawls back into my bed. It isn’t until he’s pulling me into his arms that I realize he isn’t leaving.
“You don’t have to stay,” I whisper sleepily.
He snorts. “Yeah. I do. This is the only place I want to be.”
I’m not sure if he says anything else after that, because I’m drunk on him. His scent, the way it feels to be wrapped in his arms, everything. My heart breaks a little at the fact that I can’t keep him forever.
For now, I’ll forget that problem, leaving it to face later.
Sleep comes first. Running away from my feelings can wait.
* * *
Linc
Kennedy sneaksout as soon as the sun comes up. I have to force myself not to go after her and drag her back to bed. After a perfect night together, there is no chance in hell that I will ever be able to get her out from under my skin or out of my head.
Except my phone starts to go off as soon as the door closes behind her. I know, without even looking at it, that everything with Kennedy is going to have to wait. There is only one number programmed to ring through my silent setting. Being recalled back, having my vacation cut short, and not getting to make sure Kennedy knows how I feel, I do the only thing I can and leave one of my dog tags behind so that she knows we aren’t done. Not by a long shot.
“Fuck.”
That was six months ago, and I swear I can still smell her on my skin. I’ll never be able to get Kennedy out of my mind. She seems to always be there, even when I’m stranded in the middle of the desert all the way across the world without a single reminder of her. Except the memory of our night together that I can’t forget, even if I try.
I’m so deep in thought that I completely miss Remy joining me on the back of the Humvee. I don’t, however, miss the cough that says he wants my attention.
“Are we ever going to talk about Kennedy?”
Even him saying her name has me on edge. “No.”
I refuse to talk about her, not with him or with anyone.
Remy knows we spent a night together. How could he not when I walked out into the hall to see Kennedy staring at her brother’s still-packed bags. She’d been crying, asking him not to go even though we had a job to do. We had signed a contract with the military that was pretty damn unbreakable. When she figured out what was happening, Kennedy had turned to me. She made me swear to bring her brother back alive or not to come back at all.
“She won’t talk about you either,” he says sullenly. “I don’t know what happened between you two, but I thought you should know.”
This is the first time since that day that we’ve discussed Kennedy at any length. Just knowing that she won’t talk about our night together does something to me.
“She’s wearing your dog tag though. My mom said she won’t take it off.”
His words are almost enough to destroy me, but I don’t give in. Instead, I nod and turn away before the emotions in my throat get the best of me. Giving her that, a piece of me, was the most important thing I could give her. Thinking about it makes my hand itch to reach up and rub that little piece of metal. Maybe she does the same thing and thinks of me.
Remy sighs and then pushes off the back of the Humvee that we are currently using as a rest.
“Figures.” He turns back to face me with his rifle in his hand. “Don’t make me shoot you for hurting her. I’d hate it, but I’d still do it.”
A nod is all I can give him. It’s not like I can tell him the truth. His sister refuses to talk to me. She doesn’t answer my calls, emails, or instant messages that I send to every social media profile she has. I’m turning into a fucking stalker and there is nothing I can do about it. I love her; I always have and always will. I just need to get in front of her and make her see me.
“Hey, dicks.” Danny slaps Remy on the shoulder and joins our circle with Daisy, his service dog, by his side. “Parker’s having a boy.”
“No shit?” I push off the Humvee and grab my brother up in a brief hug, ignoring the way Daisy tries to press between us. “Another boy in the family. That’s great news!”
He is grinning, like he constantly is nowadays. “Yeah. I’m happier than a pig in shit.”
Danny and Parker got married literally hours before we got on a plane to leave for Afghanistan. He left his new wife at home with our family to help her get through it.
“You’re cutting it close, aren’t you?” We still have another two months left, and honestly, he’ll be lucky to get home in time for his son to be born.
“Yeah. But there’s always Skype.”
Remy snorts. “Man, I hate to tell you. Absolutely no one wants you on Skype in the common area while your wife gives birth.” He shakes his head. “That’s just plain disgusting.”
Danny shrugs. “Who cares? We’re all stuck in this together. May as well share that. Oh.” He snaps his fingers dramatically. “Speaking of sharing. The major wants a volunteer for the next mission. So avoid that area at all costs.”
With those words, the radio attached to his shoulder starts to go off.
“PFC Hayes.” The radio crackles with static. “PFC Danny Hayes. Major Morgan wants you to report to the helipad. They need Daisy again.”
Remy and I both cackle. “Guess you’re the volunteer.”
He flips us off. “See you assholes later.”
The sound of the helicopter taking off ten minutes later has us both rolling our eyes. Danny may complain about it, but becoming an MP is probably his dream job. Not only that, but he got a dog out of it. Sure, Daisy is an asshole just like him. She’s also smarter than most of the men in their unit.
“I meant what I said, Linc,” Remy says once the chopper is almost out of range. “I don’t want to deal with a brokenhearted sister. I’ve already seen her broken. I don’t want to have to bury you in the woods for hurting her.”
I swear. “Look, man. I’m not going to hurt her.”
An explosion in the distance drops me to my knees, and my rifle is in the air as everything bursts into action around us.
Although one glance at the fire in the sky, and I’m frozen, watching my brother’s helicopter crash, unable to think about Kennedy any more after that.
I race through the desert, not giving a fuck about anything or anyone that may be coming after me.
“Danny!” The scream ruptures something in my throat, but that doesn’t stop me. I push harder, run harder than I ever have in my entire life. I think I dropped my radio, but I keep going, screaming for my brother through the sound of vehicles approaching. Through the sounds of the gunfight all around us.
I keep calling my brother’s name until I find him, pulling his body from the wreckage and flames, his dog whimpering at my side. “Please look at me. Danny. Please.”
He only looks back at me with lifeless eyes, and I know.
Nothing is ever going to be okay again.