15. Kennedy
The most embarrassing thing that ever happened in my entire life is waking up in a hospital with a hot guy looking under my hospital gown. A hot guy who looks a lot like one of my deputies.
“Oh, no.” He looks up at me with blue eyes and a smile that matches his brother’s. “Please don’t tell Travis you saw my goodies.”
Tyler Masterson laughs as he continues to inspect something under the gown and then rolls his eyes when I blush and pull away. There has to be something in the water in Birch County, because almost all the men in our town are good-looking, and I don’t want a hot guy poking around on my body.
“Kennedy, it’s literally in my job description. Plus, I figure you’d rather have me do it than Nurse Ratched, as you call her.” He nods toward the door, where Mallory stands in a pair of scrubs, staring at me with shock and something akin to fear.
“Why’s she look scared?” I whisper loudly.
Tyler finishes what he is doing and offers me a hand so that I can sit up, and then he helps me pull a sheet over my lap to help cover the hospital gown as much as possible. “Because you threatened to kill her when they brought you in. And then we had to sedate you to keep you from getting off the bed. Nothing major,” he adds when he sees the concerned look on my face. “Just enough to keep you from thrashing around while we got scans.”
I sit there, trying not to burst into tears at everything that has happened, and close my eyes to get a sense of peace.
“You’ve got a concussion, which I expect you know, and some bruised ribs. So you’re going to be in pain for a little while, but if you take it easy, you’ll be back to it soon enough,” Tyler prattles on, and I have to cut him off.
“I get it,” I say waspishly. “Am I allowed to work with the concussion?” My mind is already moving on from the accident to trying to figure out my schedule. If I’m out sick, dispatch will be down another person, and I don’t know how they’ll make it work.
“Since I know you’re going to ignore me if I tell you to stay at home, I’m not going to give you that mandate. However,” he adds when I perk up. “I will expect you to take it easy. Don’t try and do anything crazy, and let your body heal. No alcohol for a week, and no vigorous activity.”
“My family’s here, aren’t they?” I look around, surprised that no one has forced their way into my hospital room yet. “I can feel it. They’re hiding, aren’t they?”
Tyler nods. “I can keep them out if you want.”
“Yes,” I whisper gratefully as a steady staccato of pounding in my head starts to ramp up. “Can you tell them to leave? I don’t want any of them here when I get out.”
“I’ll go let them know now.” He leaves without another word, and I sit there surrounded by machines and think about how lucky I’d gotten.
The accident plays on repeat in my mind, and I can’t believe so much damage happened in less than ten seconds. When I close my eyes, trying to stop the room from spinning, I’m not prepared for the sudden onslaught of memories or the smell of Cassie’s perfume to hit me in the chest like a freight train.
She’d been there, a hallucination, along with Danny. Keeping me there, grounded in reality, when everything was wrong.
Footsteps in the hall catch my attention, and I turn to see Tyler standing in the doorway with a bag, but he doesn’t step into the room. Instead, he turns back.
“Stay here. I’ll make sure she’s fine with you coming in.”
“Tell them no,” I call out. “Whoever it is, unless they’ve got tacos, they can leave.” At the mention of tacos, my stomach starts to growl, and I realize I’m starving.
“Oh man,” I groan. “I can’t even get tacos because my car is wrecked.” I bite my lip and stare at Tyler, who is watching me like I’m a crazy person. “They can come in. I’m gonna need a ride home and to Taco Bell.”
“I can do that.”
My mouth falls open, comically so, and I can’t even concentrate enough to close it. I clutch the sheet from the hospital bed to my chest and stare at him with wide eyes until things get awkward.
“I’ll just leave these with you two.” Tyler sets the bag down in the chair next to the door. “You’re set to go home when you change. Remember what I said.”
Once he is gone, Linc steps into the room and quietly closes the door. I wait, pretty sure that I look terrible, until he crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the wall.
Opening and closing my mouth until I can figure out exactly what to say doesn’t seem like a great idea, so I bite my lip while I try to get my head on straight.
Linc watches the entire time, tilting his head to the side and then back again, staring at me like I’m going to run away. Which actually seems like a really good idea since I’m only wearing a thin hospital gown.
“Your brother got hotter after he died.”
That’s definitely not what I want to say or what I expect to come out of my mouth. And the look on Linc’s face tells me that he isn’t expecting it either.
“Excuse me?”
“I had a hallucination.” I start to explain but stop when I feel even more awkward than when I started.
Something flashes in his eyes, and Linc pushes off the wall. He steps slowly, carefully, like he expects me to tell him to leave.
“Tell me.” His blue eyes flash, and even if I wanted to look away, I wouldn’t be able to.
After licking my suddenly dry lips, I tell Linc everything. “I hit my head, and then Danny was there. With Cassie. They kept telling me to hold on, that help was coming. I could see them, like they were standing there with me. And Cassie was hitting on Danny, at least to me.” I laugh and smile sadly at the thought. “She said he got cuter when he died.” I fiddle with the edge of the sheet and try to figure out why I’m telling him. “He told me you were smiling again.”
I look away. That’s what I do wrong. In the next instant, Linc has my face in his hands, cradling me gently while he forces my eyes back to his.
“You make me smile, Kennedy. You always have. Your hallucination of my brother isn’t right about me smiling again. There’s never been a day in my life that thinking of you doesn’t make me smile.” He runs a thumb across my cheek. “I almost lost you. And it’s fuckin’ crazy, because I watched Remy fuck it up so bad with Parker when we were younger, and I swore that wouldn’t be me with you. Then it was, and there was nothing I could do. You almost married someone else because I was an idiot. It’s not gonna happen, Kennedy. I hope you know that. I’m not gonna lose you.”
My throat clenches painfully at his words because they are beautiful. But I’ve heard beautiful words from him before.
“I’ve got issues,” he goes on. “Ones that keep me up at night, that wake me up from the best dreams. The dreams where I’m finally happy, with you in my arms. That’s why I stayed away, Kennedy. You need to know that.”
Never in my life did I expect to see Linc laying himself bare like he is. I can’t help thinking that I could get in a car accident more often. I don’t interrupt him, either. Linc isn’t a talker, so when he does decide to say something, I pay attention.
“It’s always been you, Kennedy. I didn’t even try to get over you because no one would ever compare.” He leans forward and kisses my lips gently, more of a caress than anything else. “I can’t give you children, because I don’t trust myself.”
I lean forward, pressing my lips against his and savoring every moment, until he pulls back and I open my eyes to see him staring at me intently.
“Will you be okay with that? If we do this, I don’t want there to be any sort of misunderstanding about the fact that I don’t want to have kids.”
I can’t help it. I smile despite the pain I can feel returning to my head.
“You’re an idiot, Lincoln Hayes.” I repeat the words I told him in the parking lot. “You’re such an idiot. What if I couldn’t have kids or didn’t want them? Would you respect that choice? Would you still want me? Still plan a life with me?”
He doesn’t even have to answer. The raised eyebrows and the expression on his face are enough.
“Exactly. It wouldn’t matter to you. It doesn’t matter to me. I don’t need kids to make me happy, Linc. I just need you.”
He kisses me again with more force and passion than I’m prepared for. One hand slides down my neck, supporting me and holding my face to his at the same time. But the hospital gown shifts on my body, interrupting the best kiss of my life with the realization that I smell like blood, need a shower, and need to change my clothes. It is my turn to end the kiss, and I almost feel bad when I see the pout on Linc’s face.
“I need to get dressed and get home,” I say reluctantly. “It’s late, and I was already tired when I got behind the wheel.”
Something shifts in Linc at my statement, likely at the fact that I was out after one in the morning, driving through Birch.
“Where were you going, Kennedy?”
His question holds no accusation, nothing that would put me on edge, and I’m bombarded with the truth. Linc is so much more of a man than Royal ever was. He doesn’t judge me, doesn’t condemn me for making the decision to drive at night.
Safe.
“I was coming to ambush you. To force you to tell me why you stayed away. To make you admit that you want to be with me.” I blush under his scrutiny. “I was coming to you, Linc.”
His forehead crinkles in slight amusement before his gaze narrows on my lips again. “You gotta get dressed before I take this too far, in a hospital no less.”
Linc backs away without saying anything to my admission, which I guess is fair since I didn’t say anything to his. When he hands me the bag of clothes and silently turns around, I think I fall even more in love with him than before. Plus, I could have kissed Parker. There isn’t a single doubt in my mind that she was the one to pack the bag. She sent yoga pants and a tank top instead of a bra, along with one of my favorite shirts. One that I got when I stole it from Linc the night we slept together.
“Okay,” I say once I manage to painfully maneuver into the clothes. Already out of breath, I’m dreading the shower I know I’ll have to take at home. Everything hurts. “I’m done.”
Linc turns around and I see his breath catch as he sees what I’m wearing. Still not saying a word, he holds out a hand for me to take.
“Thank you,” I tell him. “I meant it about Taco Bell on the way home, though.”
He snorts. “Of course you did. Let’s go.”
With our hands linked together, he leads me out the door.
“Oh shit.” I stop in the hall and he is forced to stop too or let go of me. “I need my phone and stuff from my car.”
“Dom was the officer assigned to your accident. I’m sure he grabbed it.”
Stalling, I hold his hand tightly and swallow down the knot in my throat. “One more thing.” My eyes are wide, definitely too wide. I can feel the craziness, and the headache is coming back, which I guess is normal since I have a concussion.
Linc stares at me, waiting for me to go on. But he doesn’t interrupt or try to make me leave until I’m ready. Admittedly, I secretly hope that my family is gone so I don’t have to deal with them.
Looking around, I try to keep my voice down so no one else hears, and I lean up to whisper in Linc’s ear, “Where’s my machete?”