8. Dom
Emma Hayes is trying to kill me. That’s the only possibility I can come up with after almost a week of training her.
In her uniform, out of it. No matter what she’s wearing or doing, Emma drives me crazy in unimaginable ways.
Frankly, it’s bullshit, and I don’t know what to do about it at this point.
I can sit in the middle of a desert, barely moving, barely doing anything for a week while I watch a target. It doesn’t bother me in the slightest. All that time gives me space to empty my mind and focus on the mission at hand.
But her, sitting next to me, across from me for less than twelve hours a day, and I’m a goner.
“Idiota,” Violet mutters under her breath as I walk by her during dinner.
I throw a piece of the tortilla I’m snacking on at her head. “Cállate, hermana.” When she dodges it, I pull her by the end of her long hair. “Why are you picking on me, anyway?”
“Because, pendejo, you thought it would be a good idea to hurt my friend. And now I’m going to have to kill you. Plus, Alice isn’t here. She’s still away at school. That means it’s up to me to make sure you suffer for the bullshit you’re pulling.”
I know she is talking about Emma. There isn’t anyone else. There can’t be anyone else. That doesn’t mean I’m going to give her the satisfaction of admitting that I did anything even remotely wrong to hurt Emma.
“Go away.”
I sit down on the couch in my parents’ living room and smile when Bee comes barreling in like she’s been here forever, instead of a few days.
“Dom!” She throws herself on the couch next to me. “I’m glad you’re here. Vi keeps trying to cheat when we play Yahtzee. It’s not fair.”
Vi snorts from the hallway before sticking her head back into the room. “Speak for yourself, mija. You’re the one who keeps getting Yahtzee. Tell me those dice aren’t loaded. Go ahead.” She walks away. “Exactly!” she calls back when no one says anything. “Bee’s the cheater, not me.”
“I’m just lucky,” Bee says with a laugh. “Emma tells me that all the time, too. I can’t wait to see her again so I can tell her everything that’s happening.” Her face falls a little. “I miss her. I don’t like not seeing her.”
“Dominic, can you come help me?” Mom pops into the living room, wiping her hands on her apron. “I need you in the kitchen to move some things around that I can’t reach.”
With a wink for Bee, I get up from the couch and follow her into the kitchen like the loving and perfect son that I am.
“What’s up?”
Both Momma and Vi stand there watching me carefully, like I might run away. I eye the back door behind them, contemplating my escape routes in case I don’t like whatever they’re up to.
“What did you do?”
Vi glances at our mother and then back to me. They ambushed me and I didn’t even see it coming. But I also know that she doesn’t care about throwing our mom under the bus when it comes down to it. “I didn’t do it.” She caves. “She did. I’m only involved because she promised to feed me for a month so I don’t have to cook.”
“Mama,” I groan. “?Qué hiciste?” When she doesn’t answer me, I try again in English. “Mama. What did you do?” I look over my shoulder, expecting something terrible. “Why are you looking at me like I’m dying?”
“You’re leaving, Dominic,” Mom says sadly. “I don’t want you to go over there and be sad. I want you to be happy. To find love. You can’t do that if you’re not home to find someone who wants to be with you.”
My stomach drops into my toes. “No, Mama. Please tell me you didn’t.”
I take my phone out of my pocket, ready to call Linc and have him fake an emergency, and then I hear a knock at the living room door.
“No,” I mutter. But I know it’s too late. Bee’s excited screech fills the air, and I narrow my eyes. Not at my mother, because she’ll beat me. But at Vi. “I’m going to get you back for this.”
She could have stopped our mother’s plan. She could have warned me so that I had time to get away. But she didn’t.
Footsteps in the hall have me walking to the other side of the kitchen just in time to see Bee lead Emma into the kitchen with a huge smile on her face.
“Guess what?” Bee announces to the room. “Emma’s here! She said you invited her for dinner, Alta. Thank you so much. I love her.” She keeps babbling on, but my heart is beating so loudly that I can’t hear anything else.
Thump.
Running away isn’t an option.
Thump.
Emma, there in my mother’s kitchen, does something to me that I don’t expect.
She stands there with her hair in a braid down her back, and her hazel eyes flash with emotion while she listens to Bee talk.
My knuckles crack, and I look down to see that I’m clenching the back of the chair I stand behind so tight that my fingers are turning white. I barely survived work with her every day this week. There isn’t a chance that I’ll be able to do it after work, too.
I need space.
“Two hours,” my father’s quiet voice speaks up from next to me. I shouldn’t be surprised to find him there, either. “Stay for two hours, and then you can go home.”
People like to joke that I became a ninja or a ghost after joining the military, but the truth is, I learned it all from him. Watching my father through the years, as he let my mother be the center of attention while he faded into the background. Instead, he sees everything, knows everything. I wanted to be just like him when I was a kid.
“She’s beautiful, I hope you know that.” He takes a seat at the table, motioning for me to join him. I sit, uncomfortable in my parents’ house for the first time in my life. Not because I don’t feel welcome, but that if I don’t walk away, I won’t be able to.
I can’t lie to him, even if I want to. “I do.”
“She’s Daniel’s little sister? Lincoln’s?” He taps the kitchen table to get my attention when I don’t turn away from Emma.
I nod. “Si.” But my eyes are locked on her, taking in every smile and natural reaction she shows while she’s in the heart of my family home. There’s nothing pretend or forced about her, and when I see her pull my mother into an impromptu hug, I fall in love with her.
Not that I didn’t already love her before. Seeing her here, though, shines a light on the strength of my emotions for her. I was an idiot to kiss her, because that’s all I’ve been able to think about since it happened. The warmth of her body bending against mine, her willingness to surrender to me.
My father joins me in staring at Emma, who keeps glancing in our direction when she doesn’t think anyone notices before turning her attention back to Bee and my mother.
Vi doesn’t miss a single beat. She, like my father, takes everything in without saying a word. But I see her, and she sees me watching her.
The smile on her face, like a cat who catches a mouse, promises that our conversation from earlier isn’t over.
“Payback,” she whispers. Then she joins the other women in a conversation that I should have been able to hear.
They’re in the same room as us, but somehow their words don’t carry the way they normally would. Instead, I’m forced to wonder what they’re saying and if they’re talking about me.
“Don’t bother,” Dad says. “I’ve tried eavesdropping on your mother for thirty years. If she doesn’t want you to hear what she’s saying, you’re not going to be able to. Get used to it.”
With a shrug, I finally turn my full attention to him. “Did you know what she was planning?”
“No, but she’s your mother, so you’ll let her do whatever she wants to and you’ll put a smile on your face while she does it. Because she brought you into the world, raised you, and put up with all of your nonsense. And if she really wanted to, I’m sure she could find a way to take you out of this world without exerting too much effort.”
I want to argue with him or tell him that he’s wrong, but I can’t. We both know that he may be the man of the house, but Mama runs things with a tight grip. And even if I tower over her, she’s struck fear into my heart since before I could walk.
“I’m gonna go,” I announce to the room as a whole. “We’ve got a long day tomorrow, and I’ve got a lot of paperwork to catch up on.”
“Oh,” Emma says quietly, looking defeated. “You’re right. I shouldn’t stay, either. I’ve only got a little over a week left until I leave for the academy and I want to make sure that I get everything out of it while I can. I feel like I’m at such a disadvantage going into it. Since so many of them have had months to prepare for it.” The insecurity there, about the job, hits me hard.
I forgot, along the way, that Emma isn’t there to torture me. At least not intentionally. She’s there to learn. To do the job. To earn her badge. With a sigh, I shake my head.
“No. No. You’re fine. Stay. Enjoy dinner and the time. You’ve got plenty of hours to master everything there is, Emma. Just take it one day at a time. You’re already at an advantage at the academy because of your family and what you know.”
Every single head in the kitchen turns in my direction. Again, Emma has me turning into a chatterbox, which is something that not even my family can accomplish on the best of days. But the way Emma beams at me when I try to reassure her sends a trill of anticipation and appreciation down my spine. So for her, I’ll talk, even if it’s like pulling splinters out of my eyeballs with a bad pair of tweezers.
“Thank you, Dom.” She turns to Bee, who grabs hold of her hand tightly and refuses to let go. “Okay. I’ll stay for dinner. But I have to go home after. It’s been a long day, and I’ve barely had time to read.” Bee gasps in surprise, and Emma widens her eyes in mock-surprise. “I know, Bee. You don’t even know. It’s been hard.”
“I have a new book you can borrow,” Bee tells her conspiratorially. “You can read it in the bath or something.”
Emma laughs, and somehow they are moving to the kitchen table with us, and I’m stuck.
“You’re not leaving either.” Mom slaps me on the back of the head. “Sit down, Dominic. You’ll eat dinner, and then you can leave.”
I see the look on her face. The same one she used on me before she hit me with her chancla for the first time when I was a teenager and stayed out late and then decided it would be a good idea to talk back to her. I do what any rational man would do. I sit my ass back down and don’t move. Dinner is served less than five minutes later, but I don’t have a clue what everyone is talking about. I’m too busy trying not to breathe. If I take a breath, I know I’m gonna smell the unique floral and fruity mix that is naturally Emma. Even after a long day in my work truck, she doesn’t smell any different. It doesn’t fade. It doesn’t change. It is just… her. And if I smell her at dinner, it will be one more place that I’m not safe from her.
But as I watch her there, blending perfectly with my family without even trying, I’m lost.
“You’re fighting it,” Dad says quietly when we each have a plate full of pulled pork. “I did the same thing when I met your mother. I almost lost her before she was mine, and it killed me. Still, I fought it until I couldn’t. She almost married my best friend. Was engaged to him, ready to walk down the aisle to him, before I pulled my head out of my ass and told her how I felt. I had to grovel and beg her to walk away. To show her that I could be the best man for her. I lost his friendship, but I gained her.” He smiles at Mama across the table, love shining in his eyes. “Don’t make that mistake. It will ruin you.”
“There’s no mistake to make,” I tell him. “There can’t be anything with Emma. I can’t have her. I’m leaving. She’s leaving. She’s Danny’s little sister.” Letting the truth hang there for him to interpret, I completely turn my attention to the food on my plate.
“Do you know how I know you’re wrong, hijo? Not once in that little speech did you say that you don’t want her.” He pats me gently on the shoulder, leaving me to stew in my feelings.
“I’m dropping out of medical school,” Vi announces to the table as a whole after a few moments of quiet.
“What?” Emma pipes up first. “You’re not even in medical school yet. How can you drop out when you haven”t tried it or given it a chance? Didn’t you just get your acceptance letter like a month ago?”
Vi stares down at her plate, moving her peas around like she did when she was a little girl and in trouble. Her chest rises a few times while she gathers her thoughts, and maybe her strength. “I can’t drop out. But I can change my mind and decide that I don’t want to do it. That I want to do something else. Something more.”
“Okay,” Mama speaks quietly from her seat.
Instead of watching them, however, I find my eyes locked on Bee. Little Bee, whose eyes are filling with tears and her shoulders are slumped, and I don’t have a clue why.
“Please don’t fight,” she whimpers, and everyone freezes.
“Bianca,” my dad says gently, yet firmly. “Look at me, pobrecita.”
When Bee looks at him, she flinches away, and I have to fight the urge to get up and go to her. When Emma moves, I shake my head sharply. She looks back to Bee and I see her uncertainty. Thankfully, she listens to my silent order, because my parents know exactly what they are doing.
“We’re familia,” he goes on, still using a gentle tone. “We discuss the hard things. We talk about our feelings, and when we don’t agree, we talk it out. There’s no fight here, Bee.”
Bee, with eyes shining, looks around the table, and it becomes clear what she expects. In my line of work, it is easy to forget the details. The people who are affected by the violence that we investigate.
“I just think it’s really admirable that Emma is going for her dreams, without holding back,” Vi tells us all, but her attention is focused on Bee. “So, I want to do the same thing. I mean, not the cop thing. But following her dreams regardless of where they’re taking her.”
While everyone’s attention is locked on Bee, on getting her through the chaos of her emotions, I focus on Emma.
Emma, who may be the only person in the world able to bring me to my knees with just a look. The exact same look she gives me when our eyes lock a moment later.
“I’ve got to go,” she whispers, scooting back and then fleeing.
When the door slams in the distance, all the attention in the room is on me.
Bee, the last person I expect to say anything, is the first to speak. “Go after her.” She points to the door. “Emma likes those movies. Where the boys tell the truth about how they feel to the girl.”
I get up. And I follow her out. Because I know better than to argue with a seven-year-old.
That… and I want Emma.
So damn much.
Even if I know it’s a terrible idea and whatever happens is definitely going to come back and bite me in the ass.