7. Nia
7
NIA
“If you don’t drag your ass out of that house right now, I’m going to send Logan in for you, and we both know he’ll do it because he loves me.” Poppy’s voice carries through the open door, full of mocking menace, but the smile on her face is pure sunshine.
She stands on my front porch, hands on her hips, looking every bit like the determined best friend who won’t take no for an answer. The kind of friend who can’t stand to see you wallowing in self-pity or hiding away from the world.
Her words might sound like a threat, but the affection in her eyes tells me she’s just worried about me. It’s been days since I last left the house, days of me wrapped up in this blanket of solitude that I’ve been reluctant to shake off in order to face the world. But I know Poppy, and I know she’s not going to let me hide forever. Not when she’s got her husband, Logan, on standby. Logan, who, despite being the most patient man on the planet, has a mischievous streak when it comes to Poppy’s requests.
“No,” I snap back irately from the living room floor where I’m wrapped in my blanket with one of my old textbooks in front of me. “I’m going over some last-minute stuff before I start my new job.”
Except, I’m not reading it. I’m reading a romance novel on my phone and have been for the last five hours. I’m just pretending to go over work stuff so that I can ignore the world around me.
“She’s getting impatient,” a familiar deep voice rumbles from the doorway, pulling me out of my reverie. I look up to see Logan standing there, all six feet of hulking cop, with his adorable son perched comfortably in his arms. Logan’s presence is a reminder of the life I’ve been trying to escape, the one filled with responsibilities and expectations I’m not sure I can meet anymore.
“And when she gets impatient, he gets impatient,” Logan continues, his lips twitching in a half smile as he glances down at his son, Killian, who’s busy gurgling and waving a chubby fist in my direction. “You know she’s not gonna let up until you agree to come to dinner.” There’s a softness in Logan’s voice that’s reserved for moments like these, when he’s caught between his wife’s determined will and the quiet understanding he’s always extended to me.
I do what any smart person would do with over six feet of hulking cop standing in my doorway.
I get up.
But I don’t just get up. I grab Logan’s son from his arms, pulling the little bundle of joy into a warm embrace. “You’re so cute, Killian,” I coo, pressing kisses to his chubby cheeks. His gurgles turn into delighted giggles as he claps his tiny hands, tangling his fingers in my hair. The pure, unfiltered joy in his laughter is contagious, and for a moment, I forget about the weight of everything else. “So cute I almost forget that I don’t want to go to dinner with your stinky parents,” I add with a mock scowl, though the smile tugging at my lips betrays me.
Killian’s laughter is the balm I didn’t know I needed, a reminder that life is full of these small, precious moments that make the hard times bearable. It’s hard to stay wrapped up in my own misery when I’ve got this little guy beaming up at me, completely oblivious to the worries of the adult world.
“He has no clue what you’re saying,” Logan rumbles next to me.
“Zip it.” I glare at him.
“Why do you hang out in your living room with your front door open like that, anyway?” Poppy steps inside and taps her son on the nose before sitting on my couch with her legs crossed under her.
“It’s nice outside,” I say with a nonchalant shrug, as if that’s all the explanation needed. “I was sitting on the porch for a little bit, but the sun hit my book wrong, so I moved inside, and I didn’t want to lie on the couch.” It’s a half-truth, but it’s enough to satisfy her.
The real reason I’m camped out on the floor, wrapped in a blanket like some kind of hermit, is that I’m not ready to fully engage with the world. The porch was too exposed, too open, and the couch felt too formal, too much like a place where someone might expect conversation. The floor, on the other hand, felt safe—like a place where I could just be.
I don’t even give her crap about questioning my strange habits. Everyone in my family is used to it by now, but I know I’m a weirdo.
“Ever since you finished training and put in your notice, you’re boring,” Poppy huffs. “But at least you’re not leaving Birch.”
“Come on, Kill,” I murmur, snuggling him a little closer, letting his warmth chase away the lingering chill in my bones. For a moment, I forget about the textbook on the floor, the phone with the romance novel still open to a steamy chapter. All of it fades into the background as I focus on the here and now, on this little life that’s so full of promise and love and sunshine and rainbows. I shove the blanket out of my way with a foot, determined to ignore Poppy’s probing questions. “You can sit on the bed while I get changed. Otherwise, your momma isn’t gonna leave me alone,” I add with a wink, knowing that Poppy’s persistence is one of the things that keeps me grounded, even when I’d rather drift away.
“Or you could leave my son, Killian , with me.” Logan holds out his hands, ready to take his child back, but I completely ignore him.
Well, not completely. I do give him a bright smile before walking away with Killian still safely ensconced in my arms.
“Don’t know why I bother,” I hear Logan mutter as I walk down the hall, his voice tinged with a mix of exasperation and affection. “Every single woman in our lives is wrapped around his finger.” There’s a hint of pride in his tone, too—a recognition that his son, even at such a young age, has a power over us that’s impossible to resist. And it’s true. Killian has this way of making you forget about everything else, of drawing you into his little world where nothing matters except the next giggle, the next smile.
“It’s the red hair, Lo.” Poppy keeps talking after I shut my bedroom door, but I can’t hear what she is saying.
“Alright,” I tell Killian. “You sit right here in the middle of the bed, and I’ll change.” Setting him down in the middle of the blankets, with a pillow propping him up, I smile at the bubbles he keeps blowing while clapping his chubby little hands together.
Once I change my shirt, because there really is nothing wrong with my black leggings, I pick the baby back up and walk out of my room with a smile on my face.
“We’re ready.” Handing him back to his father, I smile at Logan’s scowling face.
Poppy claps her hands together excitedly. “Yay. I’m really happy you’re coming.”
Feeling the need to be just a little bit sassy, I raise an eyebrow and cock my hip slightly. “You realize that you and Logan are forcing me to go, right? If I had my choice, I’d just order a pizza and stay in my pajamas.”
“Looks like you’re still in your pajamas to me,” Logan pipes up as he walks by the two of us and out my still-open front door.
I glance down at my shirt and shake my head. “It covers my butt. I don’t know what he’s talking about. Leggings are pants.”
Poppy snorts and gets off my couch, patting me on the shoulder as she goes. “Yeah, they are. He’s just upset that I refuse to stop wearing mine, too. Something about everyone being able to see my ass? I dunno. I’ve bent over and taken pictures of myself, and there’s no way they’re see-through.”
The fact that Poppy tested to make sure her leggings aren’t showing her ass makes me smile, and I find myself laughing when we join Logan outside.
He’s already put Killian in his car seat and is waiting with the passenger door of his truck held open for his wife.
“Can the two of you hurry, please? I’m hungry, and he’s getting ready to go down for a nap, which means we might actually be able to eat dinner in peace and quiet instead of with your boob out and stuffed in his mouth.” He is grumbling about it, but I’ve seen him shove his son into Poppy’s lap more than once so that she can feed him, regardless of who is around at the time.
“Yeah, yeah.” I walk over to my car and open the driver’s side door. “I’ll meet you there.”
Poppy glares at me over the hood of Logan’s truck. “If you ditch me, I’m going to send you a bunch of gummy dicks in the mail.”
“That’s not a thing.”
But even as I turn the ignition and follow them to Lucy’s, I know that if there is a way for Poppy to torment me with gummy dicks, she will find a way to do it.
The fact that she is standing behind Logan’s truck with Killian in her arms and a grimace on her face when I pull into the empty spot next to her a few minutes later tells me that she doesn’t trust that I’ll show, either.
“I was going to send Logan back to kidnap you if you didn’t show up,” she tells me with the biggest smirk I’ve ever seen in my life. “I’m glad you didn’t make me call in the big guns. What’s going on with you, anyway?”
Ignoring the sudden anxiety filling my stomach, I straighten my spine and follow Poppy to the front doors.
“Honestly, I don’t know,” I admit when there isn’t anyone else around. “I’m nervous about starting the new job. I’m anxious about the change, and being around a bunch of people I used to work with is gonna be awkward. I know some have to think I’m a traitor for ditching the PD.”
“You’re fine.” Poppy laughs. “You’re not the first to leave BPD, and you won’t be the last.”
We walk into the restaurant, and the moment the door swings open, a loud round of applause erupts around me. The sound startles me so much that I nearly trip over my own feet. For a split second, I’m completely disoriented, my heart pounding as I try to figure out what the hell is going on. My first instinct is to look over my shoulder, thinking the applause must be for someone else. But as I turn and see there’s no one there, I realize the whole room is looking right at me, their faces lit up with smiles and excitement.
The realization hits me like a ton of bricks.
The celebration is for me.
My breath catches in my throat, and I feel a flush creeping up my neck. The applause continues, and I can barely muster the strength to put one foot in front of the other. My legs feel like they’re made of jelly as I force myself to walk forward, each step shaky and uncertain. I’ve never been good with surprises, and this one has me feeling completely out of my depth.
“What is this?” I think I’m asking Poppy, but she’s vanished from my side and is currently handing Killian to his father.
Abandoned and feeling ridiculously alone despite the fact that I’m a grown-ass woman, I turn around and try to figure out what is going on.
“Look up, Virginia.”
I jump at Ella’s voice, smacking her in the face in shock as my arms flap out like an albatross of their own accord.
“Ow,” she groans, clutching her nose with both hands. Her eyes water slightly from the impact, and she shoots me a pained look. “What the shit, Nia?” she grumbles, rubbing her nose as if trying to assess whether I’ve actually done any damage.
The sight of her standing there, nursing her injured pride more than anything else, pulls me back to reality, grounding me in the moment. It’s the jolt I need to remember where I am, who I’m with, and that this isn’t some cruel trick—this is my family, my friends, and they’re here for me.
Heart racing and my face flaming with embarrassment, I clutch my chest and glare at my big sister. “I hate surprises, you know that. You’ve got no one to blame but yourself.” Accusingly, I point at her and then the people who are done applauding and stand watching the scene. Dropping my voice, I step closer. “What is this?”
“It’s your birthday party.” She rolls her eyes sarcastically, propping one hand on her hip while she shakes her head. “What do you think it is? It’s a party to celebrate you starting your new job and leaving behind temp jobs while you studied your ass off and got your licensing.”
Ella slaps me on the shoulder and walks to a table where I can see her husband, Rich, and Lyla playing an intense game of what looks like Go Fish while they ignore everyone else.
My sister abandoning me seems to give everyone permission to move, because as soon as she is gone, I find myself surrounded by the police officers that I’ve worked with for the last year.
Unfortunately, the first person to make it to my side is also my ex-boyfriend, Eddie Stryker. All six foot four inches of delicious cop, with his badge on one hip and his service weapon on the other. If it wasn’t for that, he might look like he belonged to a motorcycle club. His black shirt hugs every single inch of muscle, and it looks like it barely contains his arms. I don’t need to look down to know that his jeans hug his body, either.
“We’re gonna miss you when you move downstairs.” He shuffles back and forth from foot to foot in a rare display of insecurity that doesn’t fit with his no-nonsense attitude. But he doesn’t leave my side while everyone else from BPD says their goodbyes and wishes me luck.
“Go away,” I mutter in his direction when there is a break in the well-wishers. “Why are you even standing next to me, anyway?”
Eddie makes a strangled sound in the back of his throat and I can’t help looking over at him when I hear it. “Just because you broke up with me doesn’t mean I don’t care about you, V. I’m really sorry that I was an ass. I know it wasn’t your fault. It was all mine.” He uses the nickname he’s used our entire relationship. “It didn’t work out with us, sure. But I’d still like to be your friend. If you’ll let me.”
Reflecting in his brown eyes is the same affection he’s carried for me for what feels like forever. Affection. Not love. And when I see the pained grimace that does a piss-poor job of looking like a smile, I can’t even pretend to miss it.
“Look.” I soften toward him, especially seeing the torment in his eyes. “We tried to be friends, Eddie. You didn’t want to be just my friend. And after everything we went through… that you went through. I can’t date cops. It just won’t work out.” I reach over and put one hand on his arm, squeezing lightly.
The doors behind us jingle, announcing more people are here, but I find myself caught in the moment with Eddie, needing to be the friend I hadn’t been at the end of our relationship.
“Are you okay?” I watch his face for any sign that he isn’t, but there isn’t any sign of the insecurity I heard only a few moments before.
In its place is the affable and comedic man whom I met in college.
“I’m fine, V.” He reaches down and brushes a soft kiss against my cheek. “Don’t worry about me. Go. Enjoy your night. And congratulations on landing your dream job. We’re all proud of you.”
Eddie leaves me standing there, feeling a lot like I had when I broke up with him two years ago. Like a piece of my life is walking away, and there isn’t a damn thing I can do to fix it. But then, that is the choice I made. And up until this very moment, I haven’t regretted it in the slightest.
“I thought you didn’t date cops?”
My heart does something funny at the sound of that voice. The one I’ve almost been able to pretend doesn’t exist.
Standing there, with his arms crossed over his chest, is the man I have been unable to forget for a single day over the last six months.
Wearing a mischievous smirk, with dimples that immediately erase every other man from my mind, something dangerous flashes in Josh’s eyes as he watches me flounder to find an answer.
“Or was that just an excuse to leave after the best sex I’ve ever had?”