Chapter Thirty-Three
Turns out, it’s not as bad as I feared.
Kaelen stays with me the entire time, holding my other hand, which helps.
Andras works quickly, but his artistry is breathtaking. While he inks the design into my arm, the others move the cage wagon and bodies into the trees. They also take the bridles and saddles off the bounty hunters’ horses and set the animals free.
“No use announcing what happened here,” Sergeant Neville says, using a branch to brush dirt and grass over the bloodied ground where the intruders fell.
When they finish, Bern and Sergeant Neville mount up and set a watch while Chitai and Elianna pack up our wagon. By the time they’re ready to go, Andras has finished my tattoo, and I stare down at it with awe.
“It’s wonderful!” The art is so vivid I can almost see the snow-capped mountains shine in the light from the crescent moon and feel the chill of the mountain breeze on my skin. “It’s beautiful beyond anything I could have imagined, Andras. I don’t know how I could ever thank you enough for this.”
This deadly, aristocratic Sylvan lord, who was compassionate enough to change the hated brand to a thing of beauty, looks into my eyes for a long moment and then nods deeply. “Your tears honor me. They are thanks enough.”
I didn’t even realize I was crying.
I throw my arms around Andras and hug tight, immediately realizing my mistake when the Sylvan goes stiff. I vastly overstepped the bounds of Sylvan propriety. I take a hurried step back, but Andras awkwardly pats my arm.
“I’m sorry,” I say, my face burning. “I don’t—I’m not exactly a hugger. I don’t know why I did that, I just—Thank you. Thank you so much.”
“It’s fine,” he says hastily, backing up a step. “You’re very welcome.”
When he turns and strides away, he’s almost running.
Beside me, Kaelen’s eyes narrow as he watches Andras leave.
“What’s wrong?”
At his sides, his hands slowly tighten into fists, then relax, but his forehead furrows. “I … Nothing.”
“Didn’t look like nothing.”
He shakes his head. “A strange impulse to grab him by the neck and break his spine, because you touched him.”
“What?” I feel my mouth fall open.
“Forget it. I was kidding.” He chuckles, though I can tell it’s forced. “Never thought anything would scare that man. Turns out he met his match in a simple hug.”
I don’t regret the embrace. I love my tattoo. Andras transformed the dreaded Gray Mind mark into a symbol of the hopefulness I’m trying so hard to feel about this journey.
About my future.
About Kaelen.
Even about Artemisen herself.
Yes, if anybody looks closely, they’ll be able to see the brand beneath the ink. The scar tissue is distinctive. I’ll just be sure not to let anyone get that close to me.
Kaelen puts his arms around me and kisses tears from my cheeks. “Are you really okay?”
“I’m more than okay. This tattoo is such a small thing, in terms of size, but huge in terms of symbolism.
” I hold it up to the moonlight. “Gray Mind is part of me, not all of me. I’m never again going to allow anyone to define me with this label.
I’m not a Gray Mind. I’m a person who has Gray Mind.
Who battles Gray Mind. A person who has defeated Gray Mind, over and over, day by day, hour by hour, every single time it sinks its fangs into my brain. ”
“You’re beautiful, Soli. All of you.”
Yes. I am.
Now I just have to remember to believe it.
“We’ve delayed long enough,” I announce to the group gathered around the fire. “Let’s get back on the road. There may be more of them around.”
Here’s another thing I didn’t know about tattoos: They itch.
After we ride through the dark night for a few hours, not at a fast pace but certainly a steady one, Kaelen rides over to check on me. “Are you okay? Not much pain?”
“It just itches.” I hold up my arm, concealed beneath a fresh linen wrapping. “And your bracelet looks even better on my right wrist.”
“Your bracelet.” He leans over to kiss me, but I hastily turn my head, so his lips graze my cheek.
“Not in front of everyone!” I can’t help feeling shy despite his earlier displays of affection in front of our group. I need time to come to terms with the idea of open affection between us.
The prince and the nobody, an inner voice chants whenever he’s near me.
I need time to get past that, too.
Strange how hard it is to break out of a cage whose only bars are in your mind.
Kaelen grins at me. “Never hurts to try. Maybe tonight, I can catch you alone and—”
I cut him off. “Are you sure you’re okay? No injuries from the fight? I hated hiding in the wagon when you were in danger.”
His deep purple eyes brighten. “You worried about me?”
“I worried about everyone!”
“You worried about me.” His smug smile lights up the starless night sky.
We round a bend in the road to see Andras and Serge ant Neville dragging a log out of the road, and Chitai immediately rips two daggers out of their sheaths and stands in her stirrups, gazing about.
“What?” I follow her gaze, feeling every muscle in my body tense as yet another flood of adrenaline rushes through me. “What is it?”
“It’s a common trap. Travelers have to stop and move the tree, becoming vulnerable to attack,” Kaelen says, putting a hand on his sword hilt.
“Not a trap,” Bern calls out.
“This side is clear, too,” Trick says.
Chitai and Kaelen dismount and help move the log. I think about doing the same, but my knees wobble when I climb down, so I concentrate on taking calm breaths.
When the task is done and we’re on the road again, Chitai rides ahead with the others. I catch myself staring at Kaelen again and force myself to turn away.
Oh, trees!
Look at the nice trees and stop remembering what the prince looks like naked.
I can’t stop myself from sneaking a glance, though. Memories of our time in Merrion rush through me, and I catch my breath. Kaelen glances at me, and a moment later, a slow, wicked smile spreads across his face. “I keep thinking about it, too.”
“It?” I swallow.
“You. Naked. Your hair like silk on my skin,” he murmurs. “Your body against mine. Your tongue in my mouth. Your hand on my cock. My tongue in your hot, wet, luscious—”
“Oh, dear goddess. Stop. Please.” My face is on fire, but the flames are racing through me to lower, more sensitive parts of my body, too. I shift in the saddle, my breath catching.
“That’s not what you said in the inn,” he drawls.
“Kaelen! I don’t—”
“Soli! Kaelen!” Elianna shouts from behind us.
I whip my head around to see what or who is attacking her, but there’s nothing and no one.
“Tell everyone we’re going to switch things up,” she calls out, scowling. “I need some sleep before I fall over, so somebody else needs to drive this ravens-begotten wagon. And I’m sure Soli could use some rest, too.”
“I’m fine for a while,” I tell her, not wanting to invite round two of the conversation about who should carry the amulet.
Bern rides back to take over driving, but none of the others want to rest, either. Elianna frowns at all of us and climbs into the back of the wagon to get some sleep.
“What was that about?” Kaelen is studying my face, and I realize yet again how perceptive he is.
“She told me she should carry the amulet. She thinks it might restore her magic,” I confess.
“If Artemisen wanted to restore her magic, she would have done it.”
I throw my hands in the air. “That’s what I said! In a rather unkind way, though. I should probably apologize. I would have at the time, but that’s when the bounty hunters attacked.”
Trick rides back to join us, and Kaelen nods to him before urging River toward Andras and Chitai in the lead, while Sergeant Neville falls back to the rear behind the wagon.
“Almost dawn,” Trick says.
It’s true. The golden glimmer of sunlight has been peeking up from the horizon for some time.
“Are you okay, Trick? No injuries?”
“No, but there are two men who will never attack anybody again, thanks to me,” he says with grim satisfaction.
“And the … the mental effects? Are you having any problems coping with all this danger and killing?”
He reaches across the space between our horses to touch my hand. “I’m okay. I know this journey is as different from your life in the library as night is from day. You were unbelievably brave back at the camp. I just wish you hadn’t had to face anything like that.”
“I wish the same for you. For all of us.”
“If you need to talk about any of it, I’m here,” he says, suddenly awkward.
“Thank you.” I turn my hand over and thread my fingers through his. “Thank you for being my friend all these years. There were so many times when you were the only bright spot in my life.”
He squeezes my hand and then lets me go. “I feel the same way, Soli. Exactly the same way. Now, let’s put aside any serious and sad thoughts and enjoy the day. The sun is almost out. We have enough to eat, and we can pretend we’re having an adventure. Let’s think no further than that.”
“Best idea I’ve heard all day.”
“I know this drinking song we could turn into a riding song …”
He makes me laugh.
That I still can, after everything, matters.
The road is empty but for our party, and the reason for that becomes evident in the early morning as we travel northeast toward the mountains.
More and more fields and even forests have been reduced to burned, smoking ruins.
The stink of smoke and char fills the air in some places until it’s difficult to breathe.
“The Zhagarn and Fell came this way,” Trick says, and I nod. No one in Khyrrus would put these lands to the torch like this. The destruction is massive, and I force myself not to imagine what happened to any people the Zhagarn encountered when they were here.
Kaelen, Chitai, and Andras ride over to us, as grim as I’ve ever seen them.
“I can’t believe they’ve encroached so far in such large numbers,” the prince says.
“They made it all the way to Pallanhold,” I remind him.
“That was a small expeditionary force. This is carnage on a level I’d expect to see only if an entire cohort were on the march. And we didn’t see any sign of them. Where did they go?”
“These fires were set recently,” Andras says, constantly scanning the area, his bow strung and ready across his saddle. “It doesn’t make sense that we haven’t seen any of their tracks or their camps. Something.”
“How are they moving around unseen?” Kaelen’s voice is sharp with frustration. “Andras? Chitai?”
“No clue here, riverlander,” Chitai says, more than her usual number of knives on display and her war band showing. “We’ve heard rumors that Corvynne can help her people move with stealth. We—the Eagle Clan, at least—have not seen this with our own eyes. We should ask the sorcerer.”
But when Elianna wakes, she doesn’t know, either.
“Maybe,” she says slowly, looking doubtful.
“I told you before about the magic of bending light. There was an ancient skill of bending light together with air. This magic could hide even a large party, if the sorcerer were powerful enough. But we have had none that strong in centuries, as far as I know.”
“We need to keep moving. We’re not that far from the base of the mountains,” Kaelen says. “If we keep riding through the day, we should reach the road to the temple by nightfall.”
“That’s two days straight with no rest,” Sergeant Neville points out. “Fine for us, lad, but Soli may need—”
“I’m fine,” I say.
Kaelen nods decisively. “Let’s get to the temple as quickly as possible. There may be more bounty hunters, or worse, behind us, and the temple should be a safe haven for a night.”
“We’ll find the second key there, too,” I say, touching the amulet and the first key through my shirt. “Artemisen will be able to speak to us again. We need to start that list.”
“First question: why did it have to be unspeakable evil?” Trick rolls his eyes. “Why couldn’t she find ordinary, speakable evil to protect the keys?”
“I doubt she’s the one who set the guards in place,” Chitai says. “That sounds like a countermeasure by Corvynne.”
“Better and better,” I say, then urge Cloud a little distance from the others. I need quiet to think about those questions and what’s coming next.
Everyone else seems to be tired of talking, too, so we ride on in silence, watching for traps and brigands and Zhagarn and Fell.
I hope we can at least make it to the temple unscathed.
But I’m not holding my breath.