LAKIA
One of my hands slid up and down Monfua’s abs, while my thumb from my other hand was secured in my mouth, cozied up to him.
I felt so secure, so comfortable that I could lie like this forever.
It almost made me wish we had done this since the day we said, ‘I do.’ Monfua and I were going on our second month of marriage, and the thought of this really working out settled in me.
Then I thought about Kirk. He and I had never done this before, let alone cuddling, yet I felt like I was in love.
Love, was this something Monfua and I could actually experience?
We had done something rare. We broke the dating rules by starting backward.
Married first, go through the trials, get to know each other, and fall in love last. I smiled as I moved closer to him.
The way his hands caressed my hair filled me with a sense of being genuinely cared for, as if he’d been waiting forever to touch me this way.
“Me and your brother will never get along. Is that something you think you can handle?” I heard him say before we looked at each other at the same time.
I knew Foe was mad about it all, but I hadn’t considered the longevity of it.
My brother and my husband not ever getting along was something I wasn’t sure I could handle.
They were in the same crew, so I figured it would be hashed out at some point.
Then I thought about my dislike for Harvey.
It was the same thing. I didn’t know if the divide between my family and the man I was married to would be something I could get over.
I needed them to get along. They had to, right?
I didn’t even bother to respond, yet continued to suck on my thumb. Now I felt bad because knowing that I didn’t want to leave Monfua, but he and Foe probably wouldn’t stop until they killed each other made me sick. I pulled my thumb from my mouth, “I will talk to him,” I muttered.
“Talk? Sukalati, there is no talking. We’ve pulled guns on each other. I don’t think talking will fix anything. Foe has a problem, and it’s called control.”
I raised my brow because I couldn’t disagree with that, but I knew that I had been the catalyst for most of it. I lifted my head with a weak smile. “I will talk to him. There are some things I need to resolve anyway, so give me a chance to try.”
“I don’t need you to fight for me because I can do that myself. Let’s change the subject.”
I sat up because I wanted to talk about it. I wanted him to trust me, to believe that I could make it work. “Fua, I—”
The way his eyes landed on me. Even in the dark, I could tell he didn’t want to talk about it any longer. I swallowed deep, “Tell me more about you and your family,” I whispered.
He shrugged. “You’ve met my mom. She’s my world. My biggest supporter and my—”
My hand landed on his chest, “I can be your biggest supporter too,” I mumbled.
He chuckled. “I’m sure you will be in due time. Anyway, my father and I talk, we get along, but I’ve disappointed him in the past and have been trying to make up for it ever since. I want him to be proud of me, you know,” his voice drifted off.
I thought I made my mother proud when I got accepted to college.
I thought I made her proud when I made the Dean’s list the first year, but to her, it had always been a ‘that’s good.
’ My mother only cared about herself, never about her children, but my brother and I always did things to push for her to root for us.
Instead, we got a woman who forced her son to be a man and pushed her daughter to get a man to take care of her.
However, I wanted my brother to be proud of me.
I wanted him to see that everything he’d risked making sure I was good had been worth it.
It began to make me sad because I know when I tell him what’s been going on, proud is the last thing he’s going to be.
Monfua must have felt my energy because he sat up, “Are you ok?” he asked.
I nodded. “I’m fine. Tell me more. I want to know everything.”
He began to discuss what he liked and disliked. I shared some things about myself. It was nice learning about him. Everything I thought he was, he wasn’t, and that made this moment with him worth spending. I cuddled back under him, knowing that I had a husband who fucking cared.
Before I knew it, I had fallen asleep.