Chapter 17 #2
Christy was silently laughing so hard that a tear leaked from her left eye. Her gaze flicked to me when she realized I was watching. My eyes dashed to my plate as I stabbed a mouthful of Mom’s mouthwatering roast.
Anna leaned across the table and whispered at Ashton, “She’s about to turn sixteen, though.” She shrugged. “If that helps.”
Ash’s jaw pulsed, his face beet red.
Christy snorted again, another tear escaping down her cheek.
But just then Tally whirled around. “Things were different back then. He wasn’t a predator.
Men married younger women. If you were half as smart as you pretend to be, you would know that.
You shouldn’t be teaching a class on a classic if you can’t even understand the culture of the time period.
” Then she rolled her eyes and sighed like Ashton’s outburst hadn’t intimidated her at all.
“Also, I’ve met your mom.” She gestured at our wide-eyed mother who looked like she absolutely did not want to be brought into this.
“And I’m pretty sure she taught you better than to mansplain your wrongheaded opinions to perfectly intelligent females.
” She huffed a single laugh. “Completely unimpressive.”
Ashton’s mouth fell back open but for the first time today, no words came out.
Blue snickered. “Dude. She roasted you.” It burst the tension bubble and we all started laughing.
Ashton glared at him. “Who even are you?” His glower swung on Silas like how dare he let Anna bring this imbecile over here.
“This is my boyfriend, Blue,” Anna said, proudly.
“Blue?” Ashton guffawed. “You’re pulling my leg. Your parents named you Blue? Were they high?”
“Ashton!” Mom yelled.
Ashton got his revenge on Blue later when we castrated bulls old-school style down at the barn.
Usually, we banded them and let nature take its course.
But from the glares Silas kept giving the kid, I was pretty sure we were using a scalpel and our hands for a reason.
Poor steers. Or should I say, poor Blue?
Belying his name, he looked a little green.
So there Blue was on his knees, in between Dad and Uncle Troy, mid-initiation, hands all over a pair of bull testicles for the first time in his life, when Ashton winked at me and reached into the collection bucket.
He pulled out some blood-covered leftovers and flung one onto Blue’s cheek.
Silas hooted. Blue’s jaw pulsed and his nostrils flared but he calmly peeled the dangly bits off his skin and tossed them to the ground.
Then he stood, rolled his beefy shoulders back, and just when I thought there might be a barfight in the barn, he picked up the bucket with a sly smile.
Before Ashton could take a full get-away stride, Blue hurled the entire contents at Ashton’s chest.
Ashton screamed like a little girl and for the first time ever, Silas beamed at Anna’s boyfriend.
Tally, watching from the railing behind us, cheered her approval.
It looked like Blue passed the test. But Ashton had not.
Covered in nut juice, he stole a glance at the girl he should not be glancing at.
I cleared my throat and he glanced at me. I shivered and mouthed, No, man. Stop. His face went red and he turned away, wiping bloody bits off of his shirt. Bro was having a super off day.
“Si, Holt,” Dad nodded toward the field. “Need you and the girls to round up the one that got away. Ropes are on the wall.” I didn’t miss the wink he gave Silas right before we walked off. What was that about?
Silas grabbed a pair of ropes and we hopped on Fred and Judith, the only two horses still available. Christy, Anna, and Lemon were already in the saddle, chatting as their horses chomped the grass on the other side of the fence.
When we were through the gate, Silas rode up and kissed Lemon on the lips. It was a scene from a wedding invitation both of them wearing their cowboy hats. But he had a worried look in his eye. I was ten feet back but I thought I heard him say, “Please be careful.”
Not sure what that was about. Lemon rode on her daddy’s lap before she ever learned to walk. But it had taken Silas twenty-eight years to finally win the woman over. It would kill him if anything happened to her.
I glanced at Christy, sitting tall in her saddle like it was second nature, braid trailing down her back, cowgirl hat blocking her face from the afternoon sun.
She was a sight to behold. She may have had more hours on a horse than me.
The way she held herself, straight-backed, posture long and relaxed, I’d never seen anyone more elegant.
Silas rode around and tossed a rope to Christy. Not me. “Let’s round ’em up,” he said.
She dug in her heels and rode away.
I threw my hand out. “Dude.”
“Nah. You’re gonna wanna see this.” Then he winked at Lemon. In unison, they squeezed their legs and took off after Christy.
Anna was next. I jammed my hat on my head, clucked my tongue twice, and brought up the rear.
Watching Christy ride was an otherworldly experience.
Like I was seeing her in a completely different light.
And if I hadn’t known I was ridiculously in love with her before, I knew it then.
The pain in my chest ratcheted even tighter.
I rubbed the middle of my breastbone and forced my breath out slowly, working through the ache.
This was taking way longer than it should’ve. The cows were nowhere near the barn, even though we’d had them right there earlier. Dad was never careless enough to leave gates open, but all of them were. Wide open. Every single one we came upon.
Of course, the cows had scattered, cutting through every field in between the back of the ranch and the barn. We found them by the perimeter fence, next to the river that divided our ranch from our neighbors. We were about a mile from the work area. Good grief. We could’ve planned this better.
Once we were all there, Silas nodded for us to go again. We didn’t all need to be here. Not when we had Silas with a rope in his hand. It was more for fun than anything. But it felt good to ride again. I always forgot how much I missed this when I was in DC.
The calf we needed cut hard to the right.
Silas held back and let Christy go ahead.
She raised the rope above her head, whipped it around three times, and snapped her wrist. The calf came crashing to the ground, knees bent under him, rope perfectly secured around his neck. It was absolute perfection.
“Holden,” Silas called.
I shook my head to clear my brain. He nodded for me to get the little guy, who was up on his feet again, bellowing for his momma. I hopped down. The calf kicked in my arms but I clamped down and lifted. Silas, still in the saddle, reached down for the calf. Once we had him situated, I stepped back.
Like a crack of thunder, Silas dug his heels into Fred’s flanks and took off, almost knocking me on my butt. I stumbled back, a little embarrassed.
“Okay,” I muttered. But when I looked up, I realized everyone was gone but Christy, who seemed as bewildered as I felt. Lemon, Silas, and Anna were galloping away.
And they’d taken my freaking horse.
Anna must’ve slid a rope around Judith’s neck the second I hopped off.
I swore, calling them some names I’d regret later. Maybe.
Christy shook her head, but I could tell from the upturn on her annoyingly kissable lips that she was enjoying this. “Looks like we’ve been had.”
I gritted my teeth. “It would seem so.” What was wrong with my family?
She tipped her head, eyes a little sad. “Wanna ride, cowboy?”
I could be really obstinate and walk back, but after my five-mile run that morning and working cows the rest of the day, my legs ached. And my family would laugh even harder if I came sulking back on two legs instead of four. Fine. It would be our first and last ride together.
“Yeah. Okay.”
She slid her foot out of the stirrup. I jammed mine in, heaved my body up onto the horse, and settled in behind her.
My fists curled for a moment before I reluctantly slid them around her waist. And dang if she didn’t let out a little sigh as she settled against my chest. I squeezed my eyes shut for a second.
Having her in my arms was the best feeling in the world. It was complete torture.
She clucked her tongue and we were off. We hadn’t made it out of the field before I had my nose right next to her hair.
Peace tried to swirl in my chest but I kicked it out.
Peace was a big, fat liar. But I did tighten my arms, pulling her closer, giving myself one moment.
This one right here. Her back brushed against my chest. Desire thrummed through me.
Man, I was so weak. I always was. I hated myself for it. Why couldn’t I be like Silas who’d moved nineteen hundred miles to get away from Lemon? The man had a will of iron. But I couldn’t even leave Virginia. And with Christy, I couldn’t even make myself leave Seddledowne.
Every thought I hadn’t let myself think in the last three days, whirled in my mind.
Matching gold bands. A future where I got to make love to her every night and wake up next to her every morning.
Babies in bed between us. Nights under the stars, watching our kids catch fireflies.
Barbecues and floating the river. So much laughter…
and hard times too. I knew they’d come. But they wouldn’t even be that bad if she was right there with me.
Christy made everything better. Easy and light.
I peeled my hat off and rested my nose against the nape of her neck.
She didn’t flinch at all. Like it was totally okay.
Like I hadn’t broken her heart with my cowardly breakup text.
She was the best woman I’d ever known, even in this.
My eyes burned. I knew she could feel my tears on her neck but she didn’t even mind.
I curled my arms as tight as I could around her waist, melting into her as I cried.
When the horse stopped, I looked up, but everything was a blur. How were we already back at the barn? I wiped my eyes and that’s when I realized how hard I’d been crying. Sobbing, actually. I’d soaked the neck of Christy’s shirt and she’d just let me, like it was a perfectly normal thing to do.
My family was all there waiting, smiles on their faces like they’d come up with the best scheme of all time. And then they saw my tears. And one by one they looked ashamed.
I heaved myself off the horse without looking at the woman who I could never, ever have.
“I hate all of you,” I said with a sob.
Then I turned to Christy but I couldn’t meet her eyes. “We’re not a thing, okay? We’re never going to be a thing. It’s over.”
And I walked away.