5. CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FOUR
SASHA
Present
I hated that I reduced his death to a lie and the lies couldn’t stop. What was I going to say? That he was murdered by my own father and Reece’s dad because I was being forced to marry who they chose? They didn’t want to hear that. They were blissfully unaware that not everyone’s life was sweet as a summer peach. I knew they wouldn’t want to hear that my family was part of the Mafia in Turkey and pretty much treated me like a prisoner, rather than the much-loved daughter I should have been to them.
“That’s horrible.” Kate’s eyes glistened with tears the moment the strobe lights flashed against them. “I’m so sorry.”
Nick placed his hand on my shoulder and I turned my head away from him only to gaze right into the eyes of Zeke. Now, he was hard to read. His blank stare made me want to shy away from him too. I didn’t know where to look anymore so I just glanced at my feet.
“Sorry to kill the mood.” I blew out a slow breath. “I might take another one of those shots.” I reached over and picked up the last glass from the table and slammed the tequila down. It burned my throat but was a heavy distraction from the pain that shoveled its way into my heart.
Their eyes were still on me, piercing through my flesh, burning me to my core. I desperately wanted someone to change the subject.
Thankfully, Jeremy did. “I feel like dancing. Does anyone want to dance?”
Without skipping a beat, all the others except me and Zeke stood to their feet and scattered off to the dance floor. Before Kate and Olive walked off, they reached down and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek then caught up with Nick and Jeremy.
“Are you coming?” Zeke finally stood and reached out his hand.
I was feeling light-headed and knew if I rose to my feet my legs would give way like jello. But I also didn’t want this somber mood to take over me. I was in a beautiful city in a gorgeous country and there was no way I was going to take that for granted.
I was free and I needed to act like it.
When I finally stood, I tilted my head to the ceiling, and watched the strobe light shimmer against my eyes, almost blinding me.
I felt myself sway just a smidge before strong arms wrapped around my waist. “Maybe you should sit back down.”
My self-consciousness evaporated into thin air and I giggled. Zeke had never been this close that I could smell his aftershave. The pepper and citrus scent caught in my nostrils and made my head spin. “I’m okay,” I said, then pulled away from him before grabbing his hand. “Let’s dance.”
Dragging him to the dancefloor I finally let go of him when we reached the group. Music reverberated in my ears while tears of happiness shined on my cheeks. I closed my eyes while my arms flung into the air and I danced. There were eyes on me again and I could feel they were judging me, I was sure of it, but for once in my life I didn’t give a shit.
I was free.
When my lids finally allowed me to see my surroundings, I noticed Kate dancing with Zeke. His hands were on her waist and hers were around his neck but he wasn’t paying attention to Kate. He was dancing with her but looking at me.
My hand gravitated toward him but I quickly stopped myself when Jeremy came in my sight and tugged me into his chest. I’d gone partying a crap ton of times before but this was the closest I allowed myself to be with another guy. And I felt nothing. Sure, Jeremy was cute but like Nick, I only saw him as a friend.
In the meantime, I kept sneaking glances in Zeke’s direction, wondering if he and Kate would take things further.
Even though I hated Zeke, a wave of jealousy almost drowned me as it crashed into my spine. I had no reason to feel that way. I was a little envious of Kate. No matter how free I thought I was, loneliness crept beside that harsh feeling. She had the confidence to go for what she wanted.
I did miss having someone to hold. I missed Baris and it was times like these that I missed him the most. He would have loved this place because we always talked about going on adventures. Before he died we were considering running away together. That plan went to shit.
I took a few deep breaths, turned away from Kate and Zeke, and focused my energy on Jeremy. He was a little flirtatious for my liking but it was nice to have some attention. I just figured it would be better from someone I wanted, rather than him. His smile was infectious though. His intentions could have been completely innocent and I may have misread them. Jeremy tied his hand around my hips and swayed to the beat of the music. I let the rhythm take over.
My eyes caught sight of Nick dancing with Olive. He looked over his shoulder a few times and winked. Jeremy took a step back when Kate and Zeke entered our circle. Kate was quick to put her hands on Jeremy and when they danced, they somehow unintentionally shoved me closer to Zeke.
I didn’t know what to do so I just stood there like a statue, just not as graceful as the one Nick and I visited earlier that day.
“Are you just going to stand there or do you wanna dance?” Zeke asked.
It’s like he plucked the thoughts right out of my head.
My confidence surged and I beamed with a twinkling in my eyes as I danced. Zeke watched while I jumped up and down on the spot as though I were in slow motion, my body taking in the beats of the music. At first, he gave me a blank stare, like he was embarrassed by my wicked dance moves, but as soon as a smile spread on his lips, I couldn’t help but laugh.
He jumped alongside me like we were both on a trampoline feeling the air gust beneath our feet as we bounced.
At that exact moment, my current favorite tune called Padam Padam by Australian singer Kylie Minogue echoed in time to the strobe lighting.
We stopped moving simultaneously. His smile disappeared and sweat formed on his cheeks. He stepped forward and his hands found the dip in my waist. Zeke pulled me closer and then kept a hold of me. And fuck. He really had a hold on me.
I felt his heartbeat through his shirt and it matched the aggression of my own. His warm breath was dangerously close to my mouth. Zeke squeezed my hips and I gulped my nerves down, suddenly feeling like I was in dire need of water. I needed to remind myself that alcohol was dehydrating and mixed that with this fiery man, I was desperate to be quenched.
Suddenly, everything felt a little too hot for my comfort. I grabbed Zeke’s arms and pushed them down from my hips. “Is it warm in here? It’s warm in here. I’m warm. I need a drink. Do you need a drink? I’ll be back. I’m going to get a drink.”
I spun my feet around and stormed toward the bar not knowing if Zeke followed me behind. Thankfully the people in line had just received their order and I went up the queue, taking my seat. “Bottle of water thanks,” I requested.
The familiar scent wafted beside me and when I turned to check, I found Zeke staring right at me. “Are you okay?” he asked before taking a seat.
I wasn’t okay. Far from it actually.
“Am I okay? I’m fine. Just hot is all.”
And so damn confused.
The bartender slid me a bottle of water and I spun the lid open before taking a huge sip. After drinking almost all of it, I slammed the bottle back down and asked the guy for another couple of shots of tequila. It wasn’t a good move, I knew, but I needed to get rid of this uncertainty that overwhelmed me.
“Are you sure you should be drinking that much?” Zeke questioned with one brow raised. “You don’t seem like the drinking type.”
“And what does the drinking type look like?”
“Not you, that’s for sure,” he responded. “You’ve only had a couple of drinks and you can barely stand up.”
He was right. If he hadn’t held onto me as tight as he did on the dance floor, I would have been a jittery mess.
“I don’t need you to tell me how much I can and can’t drink.”
He placed his hands up defensively. “Just trying to look out for you.” Zeke bounced off the stool and went to turn and walk away.
“Hey, where are you going?” I asked.
“Back to the dance floor.”
“So, you’re just going to leave me here by myself?”
“I’m not your babysitter, Sasha.”
He was right, of course. Not sure why I asked him to stay. There was so much disdain in his voice. So much hatred for me. Zeke was stand-offish so we never had the opportunity to get to know one another and be close.
“I’m not asking you to babysit me, I’m asking you to be my friend.”
“Trust me, you don’t want me as a friend.”
“Why not?”
Zeke let out a soft laugh and shook his head. “I don’t make for a very good friend.”
“You’re friends with Nick and Nick likes you,” I reminded him. “You two are close.”
The bartender slid my shots toward me. I opened my purse and gave him the money plus a generous tip. Sculling back the shot singed my throat, but since I was slightly drunk I didn’t feel it as much.
“So, we’ve known each other for a good while,” I said before swiping the second shot toward Zeke. “But I seriously know nothing about you.”
“Like I said,” Zeke took the glass in his hand and kicked his head back, gulping the drink in one go, “we wouldn’t make good friends.”
He went to walk away but I quickly jumped down from my stool and followed him close behind. Tapping him on the shoulder, I nudged him, forcing him to turn in my direction. “What’s wrong with you? You get along with everyone on that damn cruise except for me. You give everyone the time of day, except for me.” Hiccup. “What the hell is up with that anyway?”
“Sash, you’re drunk. You clearly have no clue what you’re saying.”
“I do so, and I’m not drunk.” Hiccup. “I’m totally and utterly fine.”
“You’re not fine. You need to go back to your suite.”
“But the night’s just getting started and we’ve only begun dancing.”
“You’re not dancing.” Zeke tucked his arms around his broad chest. “You’re standing here arguing with me.”
“You’re fun to argue with.” I smiled but it vanished when he said his next words.
“We’re not friends, Sasha. The sooner you realize that, the better it will be for both of us.”
I sulked, pouting my lips. Tears stung my eyes and I felt them brim with water. I don’t know why his words pained me so much but they did.
“I should get you a cab and take you back.” Zeke dropped his hands from his chest and curled his fingers around my upper arm.
I cleared my throat and blinked the pain away. “No, thanks. I’m staying.” I nudged my arm away from his hold and knocked my shoulder against his when I shoved past him. A low huff rumbled out of my lips and I headed straight back onto the dancefloor.
Make Me Water by Tyla played and I slid right beside Nick, who was dancing with the rest of the group. He smiled when he noticed me and quickly snaked his arm around my waist then pulled me toward him.
His scent was stronger than Zeke’s. A little more overpowering and it caught in my throat when he pressed himself against me.
We danced.
We swayed.
I felt butterflies in my stomach but it wasn’t because of Nick. It was because Zeke couldn’t keep his eyes away from me. The club was going to burst into flames to the ground and it was all because of him. It had been forever since I felt intrigued by someone and even longer that I wanted to get to know someone too. But I did. The only problem was that he hated me and I just didn’t understand why.
I decided to ignore Zeke’s piercing looks and focused on dancing with Nick. He was a great dancer. I never really noticed how buff he was until his arms tucked around me.
Some of the next parts of the night were a little hazy.
Something shifted after dancing and drinking excessively, a nauseating feeling stirred inside. I tried to push myself away from the crowd but there were too many people to surf through. My legs felt like jelly but they still managed to find the nearest green neon exit sign. I ran as fast as I could and shoved the metal bar down before I felt the fresh air breeze on my face.
It cooled me down a little but it didn’t stop me from turning my insides out with an eruption that would make the strongest volcano jealous.
My hair fell to the front as I bent over and watched the clear liquid project from my mouth. I hadn’t eaten much for dinner so the only thing that came up was tequila and water.
I felt hands sweep across my forehead, lifting my hair toward the back of my skull. “That’s it. Let it all out.”
Zeke’s voice was surprising yet soothing. I felt safe but confused. “Oh, god,” I managed to say between barfs. “You shouldn’t see me like this.”
He tapped my back a few times like that would help but it just made me want to keep expelling my insides. I’d never drank this much in my life. This was a lesson to be learned if I wanted to enjoy a night out with friends.
Well, mostly friends.
Once I managed to straighten the muscles in my back, I turned around to Zeke and wiped the corners of my lips that still had vomit residue. “Thanks. I feel better.”
“You ready to go back to your suite?”
“I’m ready to go back to the club,” I said and tried to push past Zeke.
His arms dug into my waist and stopped me from moving even an inch. “Not a fucking chance.”
And that’s all I remembered before everything went dark.
T he room stopped spinning thank God and so did my head.
For the last hour as I lay on my back, I watched the ceiling try and mock me. It dared me to stand up but I couldn’t. The headache I had intensified as soon as the sun peeked through the curtains and cast light on Zeke who was asleep on the small couch. He was curled up with his hands tucked between his knees.
I jolted up and swung my hand to my skull as a searing pain shot through me. “Ahhh!”
My yelp woke up Zeke from his comfortable position. His eyes flung wide and he quickly sat up and looked around the room confused until he noticed me. “Morning, princess.” His mocking tone exacerbated my headache.
“Morning.”
Zeke glanced down at his black watch which was almost too big for his wrist. “I take it you slept well after last night.”
Last night? How bad did it get? Crap. “Oh my God! We had sex, didn’t we?”
Zeke rolled his eyes and straightened himself up. “No, we did not have sex.”
“Are you sure?” If we did, I sure as hell don’t feel like anything was different. My clothes were fully intact as was Zeke’s amusing grin.
“Trust me, sweetheart, you would remember if we did.”
Damn.
“Did you try to kiss me at one point?”
He leaned over a little and pressed his elbows against his knees, looking directly at me with a serious tone. “I have never nor do I ever intend to kiss you.”
“Hmmm, why not? What’s wrong with me?” Well, that was a stupid and unnecessary question. There were a lot of things wrong with me at this point and Zeke was about to find out exactly what that was.
He groaned and rubbed his forehead with the palm of his hands. “Are you serious?”
“Nick said you’ve kissed about every girl there is on the boat.”
Zeke’s posture stiffened and his muscles went rigid. “Nick only said that because he’s had the hots for you since day one.”
I knew it. “Well, it doesn’t matter because he’s just a friend.”
“Great. Now can you hurry up and leave?” Zeke questioned as he relaxed his muscles again. He was in the same clothes as last night and I could see the curves in his arms protrude when he reached in the air.
“Where am I going?”
“Wherever you want to as long as it’s not in my room.”
The louder I spoke the worse the pain got. “You’re such an ass.”
“And proud of it.”
“And so bossy.”
He laughed. “You haven’t seen the half of it.”
“Great. I’ll be going then.” I went to stand but felt a little lightheaded so I held onto the bedhead. My surroundings swirled around like a psychedelic mural. And when I glanced around the rest of the room I recognized some familiar things. My light cardigan that I forgot to take with me on the night out still hung on the black leather chair. My makeup bag was left open with a few brushes and my moisturizer on the desk beside it. This was my room and Zeke was trying to kick me out of it. “Wait. Why am I leaving? This is my room.” I finally sat down against the firm mattress.
The smile on Zeke’s face disappeared. He patted down his pockets and stood when he found his set of keys. “Shit. I forgot.”
“How did I get here?” I questioned. The last thing I remembered was emptying my stomach outside the club and Zeke being a total gentleman when he pulled my hair back. I grabbed some strands and took a little whiff. “Ugh. Yuck.” The stench of vomit must have imprinted on me and I’ll probably have to wash my hair a thousand times to get it out.
“We caught a cab back from the club and I walked you to your room since you were wasted. Took you a bit but you finally managed to open the door.”
“Did I puke on you?”
“No, thank God.”
I let out a sigh of relief. “Why are you here and not one of the others?” Since I was closer to Nick I figured he’d be the one to see me home safely.
“The others were drunk too but not more than you.”
“So, why’d you stay?”
“No reason other than I knocked out on your couch,” he replied. “I was too tired to make the trip to my suite.”
“So, you helped me to my room, dropped me off, sat on that tiny ass couch, and fell asleep.”
“Pretty much.”
There’s no way he stayed because he was exhausted or lazy to go back to his own quarter which wasn’t far from mine. He stayed because he was making sure I was safe.
“Well, thank you.”
“Let’s not do that again, shall we?”
Since I couldn’t remember much, I wanted to make sure my embarrassment only went as far as vomiting in public. “Did I ever say or do anything last night that I shouldn’t have?”
“Nope.”
“Not even one thing? Because if I did, just know that I didn’t mean it and I was completely out of it.”
“You were fine, Sasha.” He sounded frustrated. Zeke walked to the door but before he let himself out he turned to me. “You should probably shower and have something to eat. And no more drinking because you need to be sober and not be hungover for the jump tomorrow.”
“Okay, great. Thanks.” Wait. Hold up. What in the world was he talking about? “What jump are you referring to?”
“It was supposed to be a surprise,” Zeke said. “Nick booked us in for a skydiving last week before we arrived in Brazil. I’m only telling you so you don’t go on a binge again. The tickets were expensive and non-refundable.”
Nick and I had discussed skydiving before but I had no idea he’d booked the damn plane and everything. He had gone a few times but this would be my first.
“Sober up,” Zeke added. “Don’t want you gagging and throwing up mid-air. At least wait until we land like some other people do. See ya.”
“Thanks for everything.” Even though he had a slightly harsh and unwarranted attitude toward me, I had to admit that his looking out for me was incredible. I was truly grateful, despite the confusing feelings that had suddenly surfaced.
Now all I had to do was figure out how the hell I was going to jump out of a plane when I may or may not have been afraid of flying.