23. Rory
Rory
Nate fills me completely, thrusting deeper into me than I thought possible.
I’ve never really understood the idea of two people becoming one. I thought it was just a poetic thing to say, like a figure of speech, but with him this far inside me, I know what they meant.
We move in unison, our bodies understanding the rhythm without need for conscious knowing.
And maybe it’s the fact that we’ve done this before—so many times before—that our bodies do know one another, but I’m not sure it’s been like this before. There’s never been this level of need between us. This sense that I’ll never get enough of him, that I’m as close to him as I am to myself.
Nate picks up his pace, and I grip the sheets below me, holding on for dear life as he sets up a punishing rhythm. He keeps it just on this side of pleasure without crossing into pain, but he rides the line so closely that it brings me into a place I’ve never been before.
“You like those candles, babe?” Nate asks. “You like the sweet guy? The one who takes care of you?”
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Nate’s dirty talk in his growly, deep voice does things to my insides, making me all quivery and needy.
He thrusts harder. “Or do you like this? Letting me take control, fucking you so hard you can’t remember your name?”
I clench around him, my pussy spasming at his words. At the way he so effortlessly takes charge. The way he’s playing both parts—the alpha male and the nice guy.
No. He’s not playing.
He is both—he’s everything.
And this is what I need right now, with everything going on with my mother and my life seeming to spiral out of control. I need someone else to make the decisions, but at the same time, it needs to be someone I can trust to make the right decisions.
“Or do you like both?” He slows down his movements, drawing himself in and out of me gently, and then thrusts hard again. “Do you like that I can be both for you?”
I do. I really, really fucking do.
I like that he can be the nice guy and the one who takes over when I need him to, in bed and in life. I love everything about this. About the way he makes me feel safe and owned and cherished, all at the same time.
The way he takes control of my body but still makes me feel like I have a say in everything.
The way I feel like I can trust him. Not just with my body, but with my soul.
Whatever he’s kept from me, there’s a reason. I know it in the depths of my soul.
My body tightens as Nate alters the speed of his movements, inching me closer to a climax with every thrust.
With our bodies joined like this, I’m certain we can get through anything together.
“Are you close, babe?” Nate asks.
He reaches down and cups one of my breasts with his palm, sliding his thumb over my nipple.
The sensation connects straight to my core in a line of electricity.
“Yes. So close.” I can barely get the words out, I’m breathing so hard.
Stars creep into the edges of my vision.
I’m so close, just a little more?—
He pulls out, leaving me empty. My pussy clenches around nothing, and I let out a whine of frustration.
I need more.
“Patience, babe,” he says, and flips me to my stomach in one smooth move.
He kisses a line from my shoulder to my back, pausing at my hipbone to nip at the flesh, just hard enough that I gasp.
He kisses the spot where the pain is already fading. “I want to explore every part of you.”
His hand soothes the bite, dulling the slight ache to a delicious tingle.
It’s too much and not enough. Sensations overwhelm me, and still, I want more.
Nate continues caressing circles across my ass, getting dangerously close to the center.
My body stiffens as his finger brushes across my bottom hole. I’ve never had anal sex. I’ve never even considered going there with a guy.
With Nate, I want to give him everything. But I’m not sure I’m ready for that step.
“Nate, I don’t?—“
He squeezes my bottom cheek, like he understands my thoughts without me having to say them aloud. “Not tonight, Rory. But someday.”
He lifts my pelvis off the bed, using my hips for leverage, and thrusts into my pussy again.
Oh, fuck. This is too good. I’m lost in the moment, and I want to live in this instant forever.
Nate moves his hand from my hip to my shoulder, pulling me harder into him. “I want every part of you.”
Waves of pleasure crash through me as he pulls me into him, shoving deep inside me.
“I want your back,” he says, running his fingers lightly down my spine.
“Your hair.” He tangles his fingers in my strands and tugs.
“Your shoulders.” His lips caress the top of my shoulder in a sweet kiss. “Every part, babe.”
I’m so close to the edge that it would only take the lightest touch to push me over, every muscle inside me coiled so tightly I’m ready to explode.
Nate wraps one hand around to my front. He slides it down from my belly button until it’s almost there, practically to that spot that will make me fall over the cliff.
“Are you there, Rory? I’m so fucking close, babe. I want you to come with me.” He punctuates his words with another hard thrust.
I’m there. I’m so fucking there, right on the edge. All I need is one more touch, one more bit of pressure right…
I gasp. “I’m there. Oh, God, I?—”
The moment the words leave my lips, Nate buries himself deep inside me and presses hard on my clit.
And my world shatters.
My muscles spasm as stars fill my vision, blacking out reality and narrowing my focus to only the two of us and this feeling between us. Waves of pleasure crash over me as my orgasm goes on and on until I’m gasping for breath.
Nate holds me close, my back against his front, remaining inside me until my body starts to relax.
“Holy shit,” I breathe.
It’s not exactly eloquent, but it’s the first thing that comes to mind.
Or, more accurately, to what’s left of my mind, because I think Nate quite literally fucked my brains out.
“Yeah.” Nate presses a kiss to the center of my back and slides out of me slowly.
The second he does, I miss him already. My body trembles as he presses another light kiss to my shoulder.
“Stay there for a minute,” he says.
He climbs off the bed and comes back a minute later with a warm cloth.
He cleans me up, his touch gentle, before he settles back into the bed next to me and pulls me close. In his arms, my shaking eases as I settle into the warmth of his body.
“That was fucking incredible, Rory.”
It was. It really, really was. I’m not sure what made it so different from the time we’ve spent together over the last months, but somehow it was a world apart from what we’ve been doing.
This was earth-shattering. Life-changing.
It’s shifted something inside me. Changed something between us.
A sense of peace settles over me as I lie with my head on Nate’s chest, his arm around my shoulders. His breathing is slow and rhythmic, and his heartbeat is steady.
That’s who he is for me. He’s steady. A rock.
It’s not just that he’s willing to stand by me, even when something threatens to tear our relationship apart.
He’s been there for me through so much, even through things that have nothing to do with the two of us.
While Mom has been sick, he’s been there, helping, without anyone asking him.
I don’t know how he has the time or the money to be there as much as he’s been, but it’s helped our family more than I can explain to have him show up with meals or to clean.
“Let me know when you’re ready,” he says, his deep voice rumbling through me and pulling me out of my daze.
“For what?”
He laughs. “I literally fucked your brains out, huh? To talk about things. Remember? You said you were ready to listen.”
The words clear some of the delicious haziness that still lingers. I look up at him.
His smile fades as our eyes lock. “If you don’t want to hear it now, that’s okay. I can wait. But just know that it’s nothing that should keep us apart.”
I force my brain to focus. “Kind of. I’m back now. I’m ready.”
Nate shifts so I can see more of his face. His gaze is serious, determined.
Honest.
“First, about the stuff we talked about before. When you broke up with me at graduation, I was convinced you just needed time. I was willing to wait for you. That’s why I kept calling and texting you, even though you weren’t ready to talk.
And when you never answered or texted back, I followed you on Instagram.
“I know it was dishonest to not do it under my own name, but it truly was just so I could know you were okay. That’s all. I’m willing to bet that Yvonne saw me looking at your profile and thought I was up to something. Maybe she just wanted to stir the pot and cause drama. I don’t know.”
Yvonne does love the drama, and she’s not above embellishing the truth when it serves her. So that part of his explanation makes sense.
But I think back to that time, during college, and there’s still something that’s unsettling, although it’s taking me a minute to put a finger on exactly what it is.
Every time I saw his name on my phone, a pit formed in my stomach because I knew I couldn’t talk to him. Maybe I’m just remembering that sensation.
Back then, we weren’t together, and I was trying to make a clean break, for him.
But now that same pit starts to form again, its familiar sinking feeling settling inside my gut.
Because the other memory, the one that’s becoming clearer, is that there was a day when his calls stopped.
At the time, I assumed it was because he met that person. The one who was meant for him.
That was what I gave him his freedom for, after all. It’s what I wanted.
But at the same time, it felt like something was being ripped away, and the worst part was feeling like there was no warning or explanation.
“Then why…” I swallow, trying to phrase this right. It’s not fair to him to be upset that he stopped calling, when I’m the one who wasn’t answering, after all. “Why did you stop calling me?”
He takes a deep breath, pain crossing his features.
Was it hard for him, too?
Nate takes another breath and lets it out slowly as he seems to gather his thoughts. “My dad got sick during my senior year of college. That’s when I stopped calling you. I had a lot on my mind, and with everything… It was just too much.”
My heart plummets. Of all the reasons for him to give up on us back then, this was never something I would have considered. I knew he lost his dad, but that long ago, when Nate was just a kid?
“I’m sorry, Nate.”
The words don’t seem like enough, barely scratching the surface. I wish I’d known. If I had, I would have been there for him, even if we weren’t together.
My heart aches, wishing I could put my arms around a younger Nate and hold him through the grief. “I had no idea what was going on, Nate. I promise, if I’d known…”
He shakes his head, a hint of a smile at the edge of his lips.
“It’s okay. Your parents helped out. Dylan, too, since he was back in town.
All of them wanted to tell you, but I told them not to.
I didn’t want you coming up here out of pity or feeling sorry for me.
Maybe it wasn’t the most mature way to handle things, but I was young, and I made a lot of less than great choices. ”
His smile is rueful.
I reach out, wrapping my fingers around his hand in a show of support.
Nate squeezes my hand in return just before he continues his story. “Anyway, when he went into hospice care and we knew it was close to the end, my parents told me they had something to tell me.”
My pulse pounds in my veins. Something about the way he says that makes it seem important.
Not just important, even. Life-changing.
Is this the secret he’s been keeping?
Nate’s gaze searches my face. “I’m sorry I never shared this with you before. It was a shock to me back then, and I still have trouble believing it’s real sometimes.”
I wait, holding my breath.
Whatever it is, I can handle it.
That’s what I thought, at least.
But nothing could have prepared me for his next words.