24. Nate
Nate
Itake a deep breath, fortifying my strength against the panic that rises in my stomach. This could change everything.
It did the last time I told someone, after all.
This is Rory, though.
I can trust her.
I watch her face carefully as I start to speak.
“My parents told me they owned some property. They’d never told me about it, but with Dad…
anyway. Apparently, my grandpa bought some land and built on it, way back when it was cheap, and passed it down to my dad, and he and Mom kept it as an investment thing.
They always planned to give it to me one day. ”
Her eyebrows pull together. I understand her confusion, at least a little, because there’s a lot more to this story.
Plenty of people own land. That’s not an earth-shattering revelation.
The details are the key here. But I’ve been down this road before, telling people about the property.
Before I get into those details, I need to make sure Rory is ready.
“Um…okay,” she says finally, a small nod underscoring her point. “So you didn’t want to tell people that it was yours? I guess that makes sense.”
“I… Kind of. I didn’t always, but at least now, I try to keep it quiet.
When they first passed it down to me, though, I was excited.
I mean, I was a kid, not even out of college.
They originally weren’t going to tell me about it until I was twenty-five because they didn’t think I’d be mature enough to handle it.
Maybe they were right. Probably, in fact.
But with everything going on with my dad, they told me about it before they’d planned to. ”
In retrospect, I’m more than certain that I wasn’t mature enough to handle the information.
I almost let it change me.
They say hindsight is twenty-twenty, and maybe that’s because we see things more clearly once we know the outcomes, or maybe it’s just because when we look back, we’re older and wiser than we were at the time.
I take a deep breath. “Anyway, I started dating a girl. I thought there might be something there, even though our connection was never like the one I have with you. Looking back, I was never in love with her.”
A flash of pain crosses Rory’s face. She covers it up quickly, but it still makes my gut churn.
I wish there were a way to tell this story without getting into the details of my old relationship. At the same time, though, that relationship and others have colored the way I see things now, even defining parts of my personality.
Like my need to keep this a secret until now.
I swallow hard, needing to get through this, even though it still smarts. “I told her about the property. Even took her there. And…she changed.”
It was almost instantaneous, like flipping a switch. Melissa—the girlfriend in question—went from being someone I thought I knew to being an entirely different person, almost overnight.
Rory frowns. I can practically see the wheels turning in her head, and I get it. Until she knows all of the details, none of this really makes sense.
“I don’t really understand,” she finally says. “Where’s the property? Is it in town? Or like a ranch or something?”
That would be simpler. Plenty of people in town own open space or things like that. It’s almost a way of life in High Lonesome.
But that sort of thing wouldn’t have made Melissa into a gold digger. This, on the other hand…
“No, it’s…” I take another breath, trying to figure out the right words.
I’m not trying to hide the truth here, not at all. But I don’t exactly know how to phrase this.
Or, more accurately, I’m afraid that no matter how I phrase it, this could change everything.
I push a hand through my hair. “Fuck, I haven’t told anyone about this other than my financial planner in years. I don’t want it to change things.”
“It won’t.” She shakes her head, pressing her lips into a thin line.
I wish I had Rory’s certainty about that.
But I’ve been down this road before, and I’ve been burned.
I take a deep breath then let it out. “After I told Melissa—the girl I was dating—it was like everything was different. She started to pressure me to marry her, for more commitment, but it wasn’t me she wanted. It was everything I had.”
She wasn’t subtle about it, either. Comments about how when we were married, we could buy a bigger house. How we could “trade up.”
Things that made it clear that she didn’t just want me for me.
Rory covers her hand with mine. The simple touch eases my worry slightly.
“So she wanted the land? Is there something special about it?”
“Yeah. There is.” I look her right in the eyes, holding her gaze. “Rory, promise me this won’t change how you see me.”
“I promise. I know who you are, Nate. Whatever you have doesn’t change that.”
That’s what I was hoping when I told Melissa.
I cross my fingers that this time is different. Maybe it won’t be. But if I don’t open up to Rory now, I’ll lose her.
And if I do, I’ll never recover.
“It’s not a huge piece of land, but it’s in a good location. There are some condos and other buildings.” I’m hedging, not quite ready for what will happen when I spill everything out.
“Where are the condos?” She frowns. “I didn’t even know we had condo buildings in town.”
This is the key point here. Anyone can own land and buildings and condos.
But where they are makes all the difference.
“They’re in Vail.” I hold my breath once the words leave my mouth.
“Like, the resort? No one has property there.” Her eyes widen in shock.
I’m sure that’s exactly what I looked like when my parents first told me.
Rory’s hyperbolizing a bit—some people own property in Vail, obviously, but not many.
Plenty of the residents of High Lonesome own open space or ranches outside town, but in a small resort town like Vail, where an acre of undeveloped land goes for millions? Yeah, it’s unlikely that many people we know we know are in this position.
I give her a sheepish grin. “Yeah. Right by the base, actually.”
“Holy shit.”
She’s not smiling, and my stomach plummets. This is what I was afraid of.
The shock I’m prepared for. But it’s what happens next that I’m afraid of.
Money changes people. Even the prospect of money changes people. And not for the better, often.
“Don’t let this change how you see me, Rory. I’m still the same person. I just…have some assets.”
I can read the questions in her eyes. She’s curious what I do with the property, how much it’s worth.
As Rory processes silently, my vision blurs, and all I see is Melissa.
Melissa thought she hid her reactions so well, but she was about as subtle as Spam running through the house.
As in, not at all. Spam makes his presence known by crashing into furniture and walls along with his little yipping noises, and Melissa wasn’t much different.
But her yipping sounded more like, Why don’t you sell one of the condos and buy a nicer place? and Maybe you can take a loan against the property and If you need someone to help manage the properties, I can quit my job.
And it was about as constant as Spam’s yelping, too.
Melissa’s face swims into my consciousness, and a pit settles heavy in my stomach as the memories take over.
Everything changed once she found out.
Once she learned that I owned the property in Vail, she assumed—correctly, it turns out—that there was a lot of money that came from those rentals, both the condos and the commercial property on the land. My parents lived simply, like I do, and so they let the money grow untouched.
After my dad passed away, Mom took the life insurance money and a small chunk of the sizable savings. She bought herself a gorgeous house in New Mexico and stocked the rest away to live off.
The rest went to me.
Melissa was right in some ways—I don’t have to work if I don’t want to. I have enough from the savings and the rental income that I could live off that alone.
But I like what I do as a cop, the ability to help and protect my community.
The only thing I really want to do with the property is to keep growing the investments so that someday, I can pass it on to my children.
“Nate.” Rory squeezes my hand, pulling me back into the present.
I blink away the past. This isn’t Melissa.
And I’m not a college kid grieving for my father, needing connection so badly that I trusted the wrong person.
This is Rory. She’s always been the right one.
“Sorry. I was thinking about…something.”
“About how the other girl reacted?” Rory asks, tilting her head to one side.
She can read me so well it’s scary sometimes.
“Yeah. I’m sorry. It’s just…her reaction really colored the way I think about this whole thing.”
At first, I was a young kid, excited to share my news.
Melissa’s reaction, though, made me question everything, from who my real friends were to who I could trust.
I can understand now why my parents never intended for me to know about the property until I was older. It’s a lot of responsibility for a young kid.”
Rory nods slowly. “I can imagine. I…”
She chews her lip as she hesitates, seeming to choose her words carefully, and I love her for considering my feelings in this, even when she’s dealing with a lot with her own family right now.
Finally, she meets my gaze.
“I don’t want this to change anything, either, Nate. If we stay…together, maybe you can tell me more. But I don’t need to know all the details. All I care about is that we’re honest with one another. That there’s nothing we hide from one another.”
My muscles relax one by one as a wave of relief goes through me, but she’s wrong about one thing. “Rory, from my standpoint, it’s not an if we stay together. I’m here for good. It’s up to you.”
“I know.” She shifts away from me and sits up. “There’s a lot going on with my mom and everything. I need time to process things with us and with her, and…”
I give her space. “I know, babe. You take all the time you need. I’ll be here when you’re ready.”
“Thank you.” A smile, a real one, brightens her face. “And thank you for everything you’ve done for my family so far.. It’s been a big help. I’ve been meaning to say that.”
This is the other reason I wanted her to know about my finances, at least a little.
I want her to know I’m never going to hide things from her again. But there’s more to it for me.
“That’s what I’m here for, Ror. You’re it for me, and I want to take care of your family like they’re my own.
I’ll do anything for them. If you want to hire a nurse to stay with your mom, or someone to come clean or to help out or anything, or even hospice care or medical bills, I’ll take care of it. ”
I mean it, too. End-of-life care is expensive.
I’ve looked into it since I found out that Rory’s mom was sick. Funerals aren’t exactly cheap, either. Or burial plots.
I can take care of all of it. I have more money than I need, and I don’t want any of this to fall on Rory.
“You don’t have to do that,” she says. “I can manage. Really. And Dylan and my dad… We’ll be okay.”
“I know.” I stroke her hair, the strands mussed from our lovemaking. “You’re strong, Rory. I know you can handle this, even if you didn’t have their support. But I just want you to know that I’m here for you. That I want to help however I can.”
She just smiles, which is as close to agreeing to help as I’d ever expect from Rory.
My stomach rumbles in the silence, breaking the tension. I ate lunch a few hours ago, and it’s not quite time for dinner, but after the events of this afternoon, I could use a snack.
“Do you want something to eat?”
Rory considers. “I can always eat. Maybe just some fruit or something? What do you have?”
“I have grapes and some other stuff. I’ll put some things on a plate for us and be right back.”
I kiss Rory on the head and pull the covers up to keep her warm before I slip on a pair of boxers.
As I make my way down the stairs, I have a view of the living room, where Spam is lying outside Ollie’s crate. The two appear to be resting, but when I hit the last step, Spam perks his ears up and follows me into the kitchen.
I think he’s smarter than he lets on. It’ll be interesting to see how another round of training goes. Maybe a class with someone other than Dolores.
I’m pretty sure we’re not invited back to that one.
“How was your nap, buddy?” I ask him as I take things out of the fridge.
He yelps in response and sits at my feet, his tail wagging furiously.
I toss him a cube of cheese as I cut squares and add them to a plate, along with crackers and grapes.
He devours it and looks at me with an expression approaching adoration.
For Spam, it’s the simple things. Cheese, a walk, some snuggles.
And Rory isn’t much different. It hits me, thinking back on our conversation and how she reacted.
It’s like there’s a weight that’s been lifted off my shoulders. It had burdened me for so long that I’d almost gotten used to it—this secret that I dragged around. Not shameful, but a liability all the same.
Sharing it with someone who won’t take advantage? It’s lightened everything for me.
“Your mama is perfect, Spam,” I whisper.
He cocks his head at me, his big eyes so sweet and soulful that I toss him another cube of cheese.
I tuck a couple of bottles of water under my arm and carry everything upstairs.
Spam trots along behind me, tail wagging.
I pause at my bedroom door, looking down at the little rascal. “You ready?”