Chapter 8
KYLE
I woke up extra early, excited for the day.
I wasn’t excited because we were getting one of our final inspections or because I was finishing up the last of the painting…or even because we were expecting a shipment of some pretty cool coffee mugs I thought would fly off the shelves.
I was excited because I couldn’t wait to see Ethan.
That was annoying as hell. As annoying as me thinking that everything to do with the coffee shop was for us.
There was no us. There was only him, and I was just along for the ride to help him through this tough time.
But tell that to my subconscious who conveniently forgot that minor detail at every turn.
I closed my eyes and tried to quiet my mind enough to go back to sleep.
If I got out of bed too early, I’d be ready to leave well before I could make my deliveries and would end up pacing for hours.
Or worse than that, I’d head to the coffee shop first and risk disturbing him before he was ready to start the day.
Ethan wasn’t like me, waking before the sun out of habit. He was smarter and enjoyed sleeping in.
He was smarter and stronger than me in a lot of ways, though I doubt he saw that. He’d been through some really dark times and managed to pull himself out. That was a feat all by itself.
Really, he amazed me. I was nearly forty, and there had been times in my life that were rougher than others, but looking back, I didn’t see them with the same clarity that Ethan saw his. He was something special.
Someone I wanted to spend more time with. More…everything with.
That was selfish as fuck. Ethan needed a friend, not someone who wanted more than what he was ready to give. I needed to extinguish those feelings before I ended up hurting him.
Annoyed at the direction of my thoughts, I sat up in bed and groaned.
When did I turn into the equivalent of a teenager with a first crush?
The kind of crush that made your whole morning from just seeing them across the room.
The teasing smiles that ended up being the highlight of your week.
Ethan and I had been working side by side for a couple weeks now, and just a “thank you” or “I made you a cup of coffee” was enough to have me practically floating.
“Argg!” I threw the covers off me and went straight to the kitchen to start the coffee. There was no point staying in bed if all I was gonna do was think about Ethan in ways I knew I shouldn’t.
I padded into the bathroom for my shower and the very familiar routine I never veered from. Even though it was starting to feel less familiar now that I felt like it was missing something. That something being Ethan.
For years, I’d been making the same pot of coffee every morning.
But recently, I started to notice that after I filled my mug, there was just enough left in the pot for a second cup.
A second person. It would be perfect if Ethan was there.
One for me, one for him. I even knew how he took his coffee and would have it ready for him with half a spoon of sugar and one ice cube.
I smiled as I thought about when he made me swear not to tell anybody who came into the coffee shop to order their fancy coffees about his little secret.
Of course, I promised him I wouldn’t tell a soul.
I knew a lot about him now. The little things and the big things.
I knew which of the pastries he couldn’t turn down, and that he often missed breakfast on Wednesday because it was garbage day, and he was too busy running around to make sure the cans were where they needed to be to remember to take care of himself.
It was easy to see why he thrived with a Daddy.
Making time for breakfast and remembering to get the mail or brush his teeth wasn’t always top-of-mind for Ethan.
And it wasn’t that he was irresponsible.
He wasn’t. He took care of those inspections and permits like a boss, and there was a woman at town hall who knew him by name because of all the questions he had to make sure he got everything perfect.
But when it came to taking care of himself, it was always an afterthought.
As I drank my coffee, I pumped and wondered what it might be like to switch up my routine.
What if I didn’t have to pump anymore. What if I could sit in bed with my morning joe as Ethan drank from me.
“And that’s why I can’t sit still for a second,” I mumbled as I tried not to let my mind wander where it shouldn’t.
When waiting at home with my pesky brain fantasizing about the Little who had been worming his way into my heart was too much, I opted to start my deliveries early and go the long way to the shop.
Last week, I discovered a new bakery on my route, and it quickly became a favorite of ours.
They had the best breakfast croissant sandwiches.
I got one for him and one for me, along with a sweet treat I knew Ethan would love.
As usual, music greeted me as I reached the front door to the coffee shop, and the front door was already unlocked for me. But Ethan wasn’t there. “Hello?”
“I’m out back, Kyle!” Just hearing his voice was enough to make me smile.
This wasn’t normal for me, at least not with anyone but him. When I’d dated guys in the past, it was usually after I’d spent time with them and eventually said, “Why not?” There was never any of this ridiculous crushing happening.
Not that I was dating Ethan yet, but I wanted to. There was no denying that anymore. If it hadn’t been for Rand and the raw wounds that Ethan still carried, I’d have been actively pursuing him.
We’d already discussed the fact that once upon a time, for a semester, I’d been his teacher. But we both agreed that enough time had gone by that this wasn’t a problem. At the time, everything was purely professional.
Now, what might have started out as a professional friendship was quickly morphing into something else. As each day went by, I became more acutely aware that a friendship wasn’t enough for me.
When I saw him, I held up the bags. “I brought breakfast.”
“Is it something sweet?” His tongue came out and licked his bottom lip as his eyes went wide.
This boy was trying to kill me. “No, not for breakfast, but if you eat the thing that’s not sweet, I might have a sweet treat for you.”
He bounced on the balls of his feet and clapped. “Yay!”
The more time we spent together, the more he let some of his Little traits come through. It made me happy to see that he trusted me that much. We sat at one of the tables and unpacked the food. “What are you up to?”
“I was just uploading some files for the permits.” He unwrapped his croissant and took a big bite, closing his eyes and enjoying the delicious flavors. “Mmm…”
I reached up and brushed away a sesame seed from the corner of his mouth. The croissant was covered with them for some reason I didn’t understand, but they worked, so who was I to question it? “Sorry, you had something…”
His eyes locked with mine, and he looked at me with an expression I wasn’t able to quite decipher. “Don’t be sorry.”
And the truth was, I wasn’t sorry at all. The look on his face as he enjoyed his first bite had me wanting to lean in and press my lips against his for just a little taste. Had I given in to that impulse, I would’ve been sorry…and a dick.
I couldn’t get that image out of my head as he went back to his paperwork, and I went to the super fun job of putting the new baseboards on.
When I was about three-quarters done, a timer went off. I’d started setting them so Ethan wasn’t working through his hunger and thirst.
“Time to drink.” He came bouncing into the room I was in. I loved seeing how much lighter he’d been lately. “Coffee, I mean.”
“Yeah, I knew that.”
He chuckled, and we got comfortable at the counter on folding chairs with our coffees. “So, tell the truth. This is the worst job you’ve ever had, right?”
I hadn’t thought of it as a job, since I was a volunteer, but in a way it was.
“Worst? No. There was one summer when I thought it would be a great idea to work the French fry truck that went around the city during flea markets and those little fairs they had in church parking lots. It was five million degrees inside there, and I came out smelling like oil every day. Trust me, that smell does not wash off easily.”
He cringed and put down his coffee. “I thought my first job was bad.”
After waiting for a moment, I raised an eyebrow. “You’re not gonna share what it was?”
“Oh, well, I worked at a parking lot. When there was a baseball game or concert downtown, I would stand there in my orange vest and tell people where the open parking spots were. Most people were nice, but there were some assholes who decided I was making them drive too far, or that the spot was too small, or that I was charging too much, as if any of that money went to me.”
“That does sound sucky, but I’m still taking the victory on this one. That job ruined my favorite concert tee.”
“That’s one prize I’m happy not to win.” Ethan stood up and stretched his arms wide, making his shirt ride up just high enough to tease me. “It’s time for me to get back to work. The electrical inspection is in a few hours, and I need to make sure everything’s ready for them.”
He made the most adorable grumpy face, and once again, I wanted to lean in and kiss him. Bad Daddy.
Ethan put his hands on his hips and pouted. “Why is there so much paperwork, anyway?”
“Because everybody wants their dollar.” I shrugged and got up too.
“Yeah, I suppose that’s right.”
The inspection went off without a hitch, which meant I was able to fix the A/C unit that wasn’t draining properly. I had just enough plumbing knowledge for that part of it.
“That feels so good.” Ethan stood in front of the vent and cooled off. “I figured it would be weeks before I could afford to get someone in to fix it. Oh, that reminds me.” He stepped back and turned to me with clasped hands. “I’ve been testing cold-brew recipes, and I think I have a winner.”
“Can’t wait to taste it.” The learning curve for coming up with unique and delicious recipes was steeper than I expected it to be, but the successes were giving Ethan a ton of confidence.
As he was pouring me a cup of his latest creation, I couldn’t help but stare at the man. He was conventionally hot, there was no denying that, but it was who he was on the inside that attracted me the most. When I looked up, I realized I was officially the worst Daddy ever.
It was 3 o’clock, and we hadn’t even talked about lunch. So much for my brilliant alarm system. “How about we take a break and grab something to eat?”
His lower lip popped out, and he didn’t even look up. “In a bit. I wanna try a few other variations first.”
“We can do that tomorrow, sweetheart. For now, I was thinking maybe we could go out.” I took a step closer to him to fully capture his attention.
“Just you and me?” He looked up and then stepped back from the counter so he was closer to me.
Of course it was just us, it always had been. But he was asking about more than a meal. At least, that was my wishful thinking. “Yeah, that’s the idea.”
He took another step closer, his face only inches from mine. “Would that be like a date?”
I swallowed, unsure how he was gonna react to my answer. I hadn’t meant it to be a date when I asked, but now that it was on the table, I could hardly deny that was exactly what I wanted. “I’d like it to be.”
He leaned in to kiss me, just a brush over my lips, and then he pulled back far too soon. “I’d like it to be, too.”