Chapter 33
Sienna lay with her head in the crook of Justine’s arm. When Sienna had reached for Justine earlier, when she wasn’t fully awake yet, Justine hadn’t been able to resist. Sienna’s intention might have been the same as last night, but the gesture had been so different. Neither one of them seemed to regret what had just happened—Justine certainly didn’t.
“When I saw you at Min-ji’s with Marcy,” Sienna said, “I was so jealous.”
Justine chuckled softly, making Sienna’s head bounce up and down a little, but she didn’t say anything else. She wanted to let Sienna talk. To let her say whatever she wanted to say in this delicate post-orgasmic moment.
“I was jealous of this improbable giantess with the most impressive shoulders I’ve ever seen,” Sienna mused. “The possibility that you might be on a date with her drove me mad.”
“A date? Really?” Justine could no longer keep quiet when she heard something preposterous like that.
“You never know,” Sienna whispered, her voice growing small again.
“Maybe not,” Justine said, “but I hope you know now.”
Sienna’s chin bumped against Justine’s chest as she nodded. A silence fell. Despite everything that had happened, it was glorious to have Sienna lie in her arms like that. It felt right. Like the only possible way to spend a Saturday morning although, as usual, Justine had a million things to do. But for Sienna, she would make time. She would take the hours she was unable to give her on the day of her dad’s funeral and multiply them by a thousand, and give all of them to Sienna from now on.
In the end, Justine didn’t need to hatch a plan to get Sienna to come back to her. She had come back of her own accord. First, to sleep. Then, last night, for more.
“I’m sorry for coming on so strong. That was not okay,” Sienna said softly while her hand drifted up and down Justine’s belly—driving Justine insane with lust.
“Nothing I can’t handle.” Justine tried to make her voice sound normal.
“You can handle anything and understand everything,” Sienna said.
“Not true.” Justine’s voice had shot all the way up. “Because right now I’m having big trouble handling your fingers on my skin like that.”
“Oh, really?” Sienna dipped her fingers lower, stroking Justine’s belly.
Justine could only reply with a sharp intake of breath. All week, the tension in her body had been building. A week of Sienna sleeping in her arms, her skin warm and inviting against hers. Justine had plenty of understanding, but she really couldn’t handle much more of this. Especially not after making—and watching—Sienna come earlier.
“Are you sure you have time for this?” Sienna’s fingers skated lower, to an inch above Justine’s clit. “I know you are a very busy woman. You must have better things to do than this.” Sienna removed her hand from Justine’s belly and brought it to her lips. She sucked the tip of her index finger into her mouth, making a smacking sound, then lowered her hand again. Ever so softly, she placed her moist fingertip right next to Justine’s clit.
“I couldn’t be more sure,” Justine said.
“I had no idea you were into muscle chicks like Marcy.” Sienna drew a slow circle around Justine’s clit. “What are you doing with the likes of me?”
“Oh, fuck.” Justine wasn’t really listening anymore to what Sienna was saying. Maybe she really had been jealous. Maybe it had played its part in Sienna turning up at her door like that. Either way, Justine would much prefer it if Sienna stopped talking now—especially about Marcy. She knew the perfect way to make that happen. “I need your mouth,” she groaned. “I want your tongue.”
Sienna turned on her side and found Justine’s ear with her lips. “I’ll give you much more than that,” she breathed into Justine’s ear.
Her finger was still circling and Justine was highly combustible, but she could wait for that utterly divine moment when Sienna’s tongue touched against her clit. She had dreamed of it a couple of times too many when Sienna lay sleeping in her arms, but she was only human. She had feelings and urges too. And Sienna was gorgeous. Her body wasn’t all muscle tone and hard abs like Marcy’s, that much was true, but it was luscious and sexy and deliciously soft in all the right places—and Justine couldn’t get enough of it.
Sienna kissed a path down Justine’s neck. She paused at Justine’s breasts to plant kisses on her nipples, and leave a trail of moistness on Justine’s skin, leaving it ultra-sensitive.
Justine let her knees fall apart for Sienna, so she could take position. Sienna maneuvered between her legs, her braids fanning out over her belly and thighs. Somehow, between the curtain of her hair, she managed to find Justine’s gaze. It made Justine’s clit pulse extra hard with desire.
Sienna looked away again and kissed Justine’s inner thighs. Teasingly slow, as though she had a mile of distance to cover instead of the tiniest stretch of skin, Sienna’s lips made their way to Justine’s clit. When she finally reached the spot, Sienna didn’t touch down immediately. Justine could feel her hot breath on her. She could feel how Sienna waited, how she drove Justine totally crazy.
But then the moment had finally come—the moment Justine had not dared to believe would ever arrive again. Sienna’s tongue skated against her wildly pulsing clit, and Justine could finally surrender. She could finally let go. She could let her own tears stream down her cheeks—just this once.
For all the confusion in her brain about what this was. For all that she had lost and all the love she had been denied, but had also denied herself and others.
Was this love? It sure felt like it. But if it was, why did Justine allow herself to give in to it now? Why wasn’t she protecting herself? And even if it was love, this didn’t mean that she and Sienna were dating again or would ever get back together.
Justine might have bottomless reserves of understanding because she knew how devastating life could be, but she got confused too. Her feelings for Sienna perplexed her. She usually didn’t let things get this far—Marcy had been a stark reminder of that. She had fucked up with Sienna as well, yet the tip of Sienna’s tongue was driving her to greater heights as the seconds ticked away. Maybe they were just two people who needed each other at this specific time in their lives. Justine didn’t know. She had no clue. All she knew was that, with just a few more divine strokes of her tongue, Sienna was about to make her come.
“Oh, baby,” Justine groaned, digging her fingertips into the flesh of Sienna’s shoulders. “Oh, fuck.” It was so easy—too easy—to surrender to Sienna’s touch. To everything about Sienna. And maybe Justine did know, even though it scared her more than anything.
This was love.
She may come to regret it, but she loved Sienna. She loved who she was and what she stood for. She loved the depths of her dark gaze and that flicker of light in it, earlier, when she came. She loved how she was so unafraid to get what she wanted. She loved how she played Rochelle. She loved the sound of her gentle snoring when she slept in Justine’s arms. She loved all those things about Sienna in such a way that she had a hard time imagining her life without it.
More than anything, right now, she loved the pure pleasure Sienna was giving her. Because she was very good at that. Just as that bubble of tension dissolved in Justine’s belly, as it transformed into a joyous sparkle spreading throughout her entire body, Sienna gave her the ‘much more’ she had promised earlier. She slipped her fingers inside Justine, intensifying her climax, stretching it out, wave after delicious wave, until Justine’s body sank into the mattress, drained but utterly satisfied.
Sienna wiped off her mouth with the back of her hand and the sight was so sexy, so lustful and brazen, it made Justine want her all over again, despite being totally spent.
“Come here,” Justine said, not caring that her cheeks were still wet with tears. “I need to tell you something.”
Sienna crawled into her arms and looked at her.
“I’m more in love with you than ever before,” Justine said.
She watched how Sienna swallowed hard. She didn’t say anything back, not that Justine expected her to. Sienna looked her in the eye, though. She wasn’t one to avert her gaze when it mattered—another something Justine loved about her. Seconds ticked away in a silence that grew more and more strained.
“We should probably talk now,” Sienna said, instantly sucking all the romance out of the air—and dashing most of Justine’s hope.
“I didn’t say that to pressure you into anything,” Justine was quick to say. “It was probably just that climax talking.” Ah, there was good old Justine again. Where had she been hiding the past few days? The past few weeks and months since she’d met Sienna and let herself get carried away like that?
“I need a shower.” As though suddenly in a hurry, Sienna jumped out of bed and rushed into the bathroom.
Maybe it’s for the best, Justine thought. Because despite meaning every word of what she’d just said to Sienna—and the love she felt for her—Justine also knew herself. She knew all too well she wasn’t cut out for this and, obviously, Sienna had caught on to that as well.