Chapter 36
“Come with me if you don’t believe me,” Sienna said to her sister. “We sure can use the extra pair of hands.”
“ We? ” Taissa gave her a look.
“All of us at the Rainbow Shelter.” They were sitting in their parents’ back yard. Sienna was telling her sister all about the virtues of volunteering. But Taissa wasn’t sleeping with the shelter’s founder, nor did she seem to need something extra—something different and good for the soul—to help her get over their father’s death.
“What do you even do there?” Taissa asked. “You’re hardly the type to be cleaning toilets.”
“There’s nothing wrong with cleaning toilets,” Sienna said, despite never having cleaned one in her life. “But the shelter’s not a hotel. There’s a strict chore rotation system. The residents do most of their own cleaning.”
Taissa gave her the kind of look Sienna had to respond to—all skeptical and full of judgment.
“What?”
“That’s exactly what I should be asking you.” The skepticism in Taissa’s eyes softened.
“Why?”
“Is it official now? You’ve gone back to her? After what she did?”
I need her, Sienna thought, but she wasn’t going to admit that to her sister. “Justine… she helps me. Being with her makes me feel better. She helps me cope with dad’s death better. Being with her makes me feel as though Bobby dying doesn’t have to tear me to pieces every day.”
Taissa shook her head. “She wasn’t there for you on the only day she had to be there. I will never understand that. Maybe you have forgiven her, but I can’t just do that.” Taissa pursed her lips. “Please don’t tell me what she did to you that you forgave her so easily for letting you down like that. It must have been spectacular but, as your sister, I don’t want to know.”
“I’m still in love with her.” Sienna had no trouble admitting that.
Taissa expelled a long sigh. “I know there’s no such thing as reasoning with a woman in love, but are you sure she’s right for you? She’s a lot older, for starters and, well, clearly not very dependable.”
“Of course, I’m not sure and of course Justine’s not perfect.” Although, Sienna thought, maybe Justine’s exactly the person she needs to be. “Neither am I. Neither are you, for that matter. No one is.” Sienna’s heart grew a size in her chest. “But I do know that she’s kind and patient and wise.” As well as stubborn and messy and often late, Sienna didn’t add out loud. “She’s so special, Tai. Yeah, she’s in her fifties and absolutely nothing’s more important to her than the shelter, but I know in here”—Sienna dramatically tapped her chest—“that I can depend on her.” Night after night of sleeping in Justine’s soft embrace had taught Sienna that. “I have to believe that and I do.” Justine was also endlessly fascinating and there were parts of her that Sienna might never get to know, might not even scratch the surface of, even though, at times, Justine had started to open up more about her past.
“God, you really are a smitten kitten.”
“Meow.” An inadvertent grin tugged at Sienna’s lips. “I think that once you see this movie, you will understand Justine more.”
“I don’t want to have to see a movie to know that my sister is dating someone good for her. That’s not how this works.” Taissa sent her a soft smile. “I know you’re in pain and Justine is probably there for you in ways that your family can’t be, but if she hurts you again, I swear, she will have to answer to me. And to Mom!”
“Aren’t you in pain?” Sienna’d had enough of defending her renewed connection with Justine to her sister. She didn’t know where it was going; she only knew what she felt on any given day. And every morning, Sienna wanted to spend more time with Justine. That was the only thing she was certain of.
Taissa huffed out some air. “Bobby’s death affects me, no doubt, but, honestly, I often thought of him more as my sperm donor than my dad. We weren’t close like you and him, if you could even call that close. We didn’t have a big thing in common like acting. How can I miss someone I barely saw? Someone who hardly made time for me, or his grandkids for that matter? He was a shit dad, no matter how you twist or turn it. He was never there. And when he was, he always made me feel like he had something much better to do than spend time with me.” Taissa shrugged. “All of that may be terribly disrespectful, but that’s the honest truth of how I feel.”
Sienna could hardly argue with Taissa’s statement that Bobby had been a shit dad, but his death had ripped something apart deep inside her nevertheless. Justine understood this, without Sienna having to explain. Justine understood everything and, in her arms only, Sienna could feel something resembling whole again.
“He did leave you a humongous wad of cash,” Sienna said. “What are you going to do with all that money?”
Taissa shook her head. “I don’t know. Set up a trust for the kids, I guess.”
“Did you know that dad gave a quarter mil to the Rainbow Shelter before he died?”
“No, but it doesn’t surprise me.” Taissa all but rolled her eyes. “He was buying your love. It’s all so transparent. He’d rather give us a million bucks than spend a holiday with us. It’s so quintessentially Bobby.”
“He visited the Gimme Shelter set a few days before he died,” Sienna said, remembering how much Bobby-being-Bobby had annoyed her at the time. “He called me out of the blue and turned up fifteen minutes later. Just like that.”
“He was putting on his I’m-such-a-regular-and-caring-dad act. He was a really good actor, you have to give him that.”
“He did care for us, Tai.” Tears pricked behind Sienna’s eyes again.
“That may be so, but if he did, how was I to know? He certainly never told me and the only way he ever showed me was by paying for everything.”
“You never refused the money he gave you.” Just like a penthouse for Sienna, Bobby had bought Taissa a huge mansion in Brentwood.
“Why would I refuse the only thing he could give me? I tried with him so many times. And he broke my heart over and over again. Some people are not meant to parent and Bobby was one of them. I’m fine with that. I had Mom and Eddy and you. But I’m not going to spend my time grieving a man who never made time for me. And I will spend the money he left me with a big smile on my face.”
“A big ‘Bright’ smile,” Sienna said, repeating one of their dad’s favorite things to say.
“A big fucking Bobby Bright smile.” A shadow crossed Taissa’s face.
She probably loved Bobby more than she would ever admit, and she’d inherited some of his emotional avoidance behavior—although Taissa never bailed on you or flaked at the last minute. And she was a hell of a mother.
“What are you going to do with all your dough?” Taissa asked.
“I have some ideas.” Sienna had been mulling things over in her head and she needed to speak to her financial advisor before she could set things up but, if it was up to her—and thanks to Bobby—the Rainbow Shelter wouldn’t have to worry about funding for a very long time to come. “Mostly charity. I’ll let you know.”
“You’re not going to give all of Bobby’s money to Justine, are you?” Taissa was as straightforward as they came—she got that from their mom.
“Justine is not the shelter,” Sienna replied.
“Could have fooled me with how she left you alone at the church, when you were burying your father, for an emergency at her shelter.”
“I get your reaction. I’m also sensitive to someone not showing up when you need them most. It’s trademark Bobby stuff. But Justine is nothing like Bobby, I can assure you that, Tai.”
“I’ll have to take your word for it.” Taissa’s gaze had gone soft like melted butter. “I’m also not blind. I can see that she makes you feel better.” Taissa reached for her glass of wine and lifted it toward Sienna. “To Bobby,” she said.
“To dad, may he rest in peace.” Sienna clinked her glass against her sister’s. And to Justine, she thought, who’s the only person who can give me a modicum of peace right now.