THIRTY-THREE
THE SHOWER AND nap revitalized her. Optimism reigned again and, grocery bag in hand, she arrived at the Claymores front door.
She knocked and waited. No answer. Strange. She knocked again and leaned in, listening for signs there were people inside. Maybe when Baer said come over, he meant his place upstairs.
Just as she backed off a step, a sound inside halted her. Maybe it was the door to the entryway being opened. Widening her smile, the click of the lock heralded the appearance of her guy. Her guy? Whether what she said earlier had an impact, the set of his brow stole her optimism.
“What’s wrong? Did something happen when we were away? Why didn’t you call me? Are the boys okay? Is it Abel? Your mom?”
“Change of plans. We’ve got something on tonight.”
She didn’t like cold, detached Baer. “We do? What?”
“Not us. Me and mine. It would be better if you didn’t come around anymore. I’ve told Conrad we’re through—”
“Through? We’re—why? Us? Forget what I said in the car, it was stupid and impulsive, I was turned on—”
“You want to keep using Squires, go ahead. I’m just not on your menu anymore.”
“I don’t understand, I—I’m sorry. You said women were stupid falling for—I’m sorry.”
“Conrad knows not to pair us again. Plenty of other guys there to pick from, guys who’ll love to be controlled.”
That startled her. “Controlled? What do you mean—I wasn’t trying to control you. Whatever it is, we can talk about this, let’s go upstairs and—”
“No, I have a client.”
Oh, the twist of the knife split her open. Her love caused him to lash out? To rush home and immediately arrange to be intimate with another woman.
“I shouldn’t have said—”
“This is nothing to do with what you said,” he hissed, bowing a little. “And everything to do with what you did.”
“What I did?”
“I said not to talk about it and you went behind my back. I don’t know what the fuck kind of guy you’re looking for, Princess, but it’s not a guy like me. Did you expect me to be happy? How the fuck did you think I’d react?”
She had no earthly idea what he was talking about. “All I did was come home and take a shower, I haven’t—”
“That’s one of the shittiest things about it. You did it while we were away. You did it behind my back while we were off the board, and you just kept on smiling. I can’t fucking believe—you have no idea who I am.”
And she’d thought…
“Hound, I don’t know what—”
“Money, it’s all about money for you, isn’t it? Am I supposed to be impressed? Grateful? You thought you’d pay off a few bills and I’d get in line? Not a chance. This family got along just fine without you.”
“Paid—”
“Did you think I wouldn’t figure it out?”
Stunned, her jaw relaxed, yet she struggled for air. “Baer, I didn’t—”
“Stay out of my life, Freya. The Claymores are not one of your charity cases.”
With that, he disappeared inside and slammed the door.
A charity case…?
On instinct, she almost knocked again. What would that achieve? She couldn’t think straight, none of this made sense. She hadn’t… Who had she talked to? Her cousins, Roxie, none of them knew enough about Baer to interfere. No one knew enough.
The groceries stayed with her on the ride across town. She didn’t want to be alone but hadn’t thought much about where she wanted to go.
Seconds passed in a flash, yet it felt like days before she arrived at Roxie’s. She had the wherewithal at least to get in the right elevators. And thank God when the final one opened, there was Roxie, arms already open.
“Oh, honey…”
She dropped the grocery bag and went to accept the woman’s comfort. They hadn’t even talked… had they? She’d texted… maybe. God, she couldn’t even remember the ride over.
“What happened?” her friend asked, guiding her to the couch. There were drinks and nibbles already laid out. Roxie was always a consummate hostess. Shame her guts felt too squeezed to function. “You went over there?”
“I went to… I was supposed to go for dinner. He wouldn’t even let me in. Just said we were through and slammed the door in my face.”
“I know it hurts, it’s horrible…” Roxie guided a drink into her hand. “I can’t believe he’s such an asshole. I’m beginning to think K2 was the only exception in your dating history—though, I don’t know him that well.” Roxie’s focus bounced to the side. “Is Kinloch Gramercy-Peake an asshole?”
“Sometimes.”
That wasn’t her voice. Zairn had joined them.
She turned to offer him a smile. “I’m sorry if I crashed a date night.”
“Every night is date night,” Roxie answered, urging the glass higher when she turned back. “Don’t worry about him, he has some meeting thing anyway. Is it with Kinloch Gramercy-Peake?”
“No,” Zairn said. “I can set something up if you want to hang out with him… Means no indoor plumb—”
Roxie’s klaxon sound effect cut him off. “And that’s why I don’t know him better.”
“I’ve spoiled you.”
“Hey, I peed in actual toilets long before I met you, Skippy. I’m a worldly woman. I’ve never seen the allure of showering in an ice-cold waterfall. Hypothermia is not sexy. And while we’re on the subject, why are men such assholes?”
“Were we on the subject?”
“We’re on it now.”
“You’ve asked me this before.”
“And you are yet to come up with a satisfactory answer,” Roxie declared and took her hand. “This Baer loser guy is threatened; he thinks your money, your independence, diminishes his manhood. You don’t want to be with a weak-egoed man. Didn’t Chapman teach you anything? You can do so much better. Here’s what we’re going to do, you’re going to finish that drink, then were going to the spa. No, we’ll bring it to us up here. We’ll drink and beautify ourselves. After that we’ll hit the Ruby Room to dance our troubles away. And don’t worry, if you want casual, meaningless sex, Tripp’s right downstairs. You know he’s good for it.”
Sex was the last thing on her mind. Baer… she’d never seen him like that. How could he think she wanted to control him? She wanted them to have a life together. No power struggle. Was that na?ve?
“I don’t know if I’m in the best headspace to be much of a dance partner tonight.”
“What if you want casual, meaningless sex, Lola?”
“Aww, don’t you worry your pretty head, Casanova, it’s always meaningless with you. Meaningless but for the charge card.”
“What a romantic,” Zairn said, a smile in his voice. “I’m going downstairs, you two be good.”
“Unlikely. I love you!” Roxie called out to him as the elevator closed.
She finally sipped the drink and was pleased it went down well. Maybe her friend was right, the alcohol might help.
“Roxie… will it always be like this? Am I meant to be alone forever? Why is it I keep thinking I’ve found it, only to have it taken away? I really thought… I really thought Baer could… Why does he care so much that I have money?”
“He’s done you a favor, honey. Being with him would’ve been a nightmare, you shouldn’t apologize for who you are any more than he should. Though, no, he should apologize for being him. Now you know he’s small and threatened—”
“That’s just it, he’s not! Never was. I told him about Kinloch, about everything, he was never jealous, never threatened. The money shouldn’t matter so much.”
“They don’t know how they’ll feel about it until they live it. Trust that, it’s coming from someone who knows. I didn’t have any idea what this whole crazy existence would be until I was in it. I got through it because I loved Zairn, because he supported me, and always made sure my boundaries were respected… and that’s not a sex thing—not only a sex thing.”
“I was daydreaming about a future with Baer, and I liked what I saw. With Kinloch, it was mapped out, everything was anticipated for us.” Which is why it would never have worked between them. Neither of them would’ve been happy in that existence. “With Baer, I thought… I imagined us in control, living a life that we chose… It was all in my head.”
Roxie raised her glass. “You’re not the first woman to have done that, and the only thing wrong with that is not looping the guy in. You wanted different things from the relationship.”
She had no idea what he wanted from a relationship. “The way he made me feel, Rox…” She almost squirmed. “Was that all in my head too?”
With sympathy, Roxie’s sorrow matched her mood. “I don’t know, honey. I never saw you together.”
“Holly said we had chemistry.” She groaned and slugged another mouthful from the glass. “What is that? What’s chemistry? He’s a goddamn gigolo. It’s literally his job to make women feel the way he made me feel.”
“You wouldn’t be the first woman to be played like that either.”
“But he let me into his life, Rox. I met his family, his father; I went to his home. He doesn’t do that with every client, and I know that because his father told me Baer never brought women around.” Wouldn’t take them long to figure out what he did if there was a constant parade of affluent women and a lot of cash coming in. “Why did he do that? To hurt me? And then…” Her glass met her lips again. “I tried to talk about it when we were away, and he made up his stupid rule…”
“His stupid rule?”
“I had a no sex while I was paying him rule—”
“Good rule.”
Roxie inspired.
“And he said we couldn’t talk about money.”
“Because you’d fight about it.”
“You know, it’s worse than that. He didn’t willingly let me into his life at all, I forced myself into it. I didn’t think at the time that I—do you think it was all about the payday? The vacation—”
“Maybe. But if he’s that kind of guy, you’re well rid of him.”
Roxie was being her friend, supporting her, and it was appreciated. She just couldn’t believe Baer was that good an actor. Had it been fake all along?
“I think you’re right…” Tipping the liquid into her mouth, she gulped until it was gone. “Let’s call the spa.”