Chapter 44
FORTY-FOUR
“I STAYED IN HIS bed all night,” she admitted to her friend on the phone.
“What did he say when you woke up?”
To her shame… “Well, I…”
Roxie exhaled. “You snuck out, didn’t you?”
“I didn’t sneak,” she asserted. “I just left… quietly… while he was sleeping.”
“Girl, you have to stop doing that! Did you at least shower and get ready at the house? Give him a chance to wake up and talk to you?”
“I went to the gym.”
Her friend was incredulous. “To shower?”
“I worked out.” Because she’d been slacking. At least, that was what she told herself. “Then showered.”
Unfortunately, Roxie wasn’t easily appeased. “You worked out to give yourself an excuse for the shower. Where are you right now?”
She’d hoped to avoid that question, but it had been asked.
Lying was out of the question, though she did brace herself for a negative reaction. “The library.”
“Oh, God, Harper, you’re working from the library? I didn’t even know there was a library in LA. Is it in a prehistoric tar pit? Geez. Send me the location, that’s maybe the one place in LA I won’t get arrested. Though I sure wouldn’t put money on that. The library! How are you talking to me?”
“I’m in the hallway outside.”
“You can’t go to your parents, and you’re avoiding the solution.”
She couldn’t think of Bastian that way. “I can rent office space.”
“And where do you plan to sleep?”
In her office space? Boy, pathetic, that’s what she was. Her bank balance really didn’t support LA living.
She growled. “This is exactly why I shouldn’t have—we shouldn’t have—I was just using him.”
“You weren’t using him,” Roxie said. “Relying on your friends is what you’re supposed to do. He wanted to help, I’ll bet he still does.”
“It screws with everyone’s heads. Being with him is easy, it’s great, but now his family think we’re together again. Adara keeps asking where I am—”
“You haven’t told them?”
“I don’t trust any of them not to contact him. Adara would say she wouldn’t but get Carnell to—it’s a mess. A complete mess. His life was nice and easy before I came along. I’ve wrecked it. I’ve wrecked his life and my own! Why can’t I have an easy life?”
“You can,” Roxie said without hesitation. “Pack a bag and go to the airport.”
“The airport?”
“I’ll send you a phone number, text it when you have what you need. Clothes, work stuff, whatever. A car will come to wherever you are and—”
“Take me where? You said it yourself, I can’t go to my parents, I can’t go to Bastian’s. I’ll go to a hotel tonight. I will get myself together. I will.”
“That’s what I’m suggesting. Pack a bag, text the number, and you can clear your head here with me.”
She didn’t even know where Roxie was on the globe. Another example of her being a terrible friend.
“I landed myself on Bastian. I won’t land myself on you.”
It was so difficult to figure people out. Ordering her thoughts was hard enough without trying to make any kind of plans. Plans? That was a joke. Her life was spiraling; it took everything in her just to dig her nails in and hang on.
“Difference is, we won’t have sex…” Roxie said. “Unless you ask really, really nicely. That would be one sex tape to catapult the brand, you’d be doing me a favor. You know what, screw it, let’s have sex.”
Still pathetic, she could at least muster a smile now. “Thank you. For listening. For calming me down. I don’t know why I—it’s been more difficult lately to…”
“Function?” Roxie asked. “I have my own theories on that.”
“Theories?” She didn’t get it. “Everything’s happening at once. For so long, my life ticked along…” the best days coincided with Damon being in Australia. Coincidence? Not likely. “Now everything’s changing all at once.”
“Are you going to a Grand tonight? You said you’d go to a hotel. Will it be a Grand?”
A hotel was the plan to avoid the man who owned those buildings. What sense would that be?
“No.” She couldn’t afford it, certainly not for more than a night or two, did they do discount coupons? That reason was less important than… “I wouldn’t put Bastian in that position.”
“I’m sure he’d give you space if you need space. First time I descended on Z’s place without invitation, the staff kept my secret. From everyone. They didn’t even tell Zairn I was there. Employees are vetted at the highest levels, they’re responsible—”
“You think I should go to a Grand?”
“All I’m saying is, we have an account with the Grand. You can stay in any of them and use our accounts. Check in under a pseudo name if you want. Bastian will never know.”
The point wasn’t to shut him out, but she also didn’t want to go too full on.
“I’m not good at this. At reading people and figuring out when it’s too much or not enough.”
“And you have no space to breathe right now, I get that. Why do you think I told you to get on a plane? We’re all breathing over here.
We’re hogging the oxygen. Trust me. You can work from anywhere, just like me once upon a time.
You can do in-person stuff by video call. We have all the tech you’ll need.”
“I can’t. How can—”
“We have all kinds of people in LA, capable of anything. If there’s something that requires a physical presence—”
“I can’t afford staff. And that’s a bureaucratic nightmare I don’t have time for right now.”
Her whole body hurt without him. She’d got him back only to wreck it all over again.
“We have staff,” Roxie said. “I have staff.”
“In LA?”
“Everywhere. Believe me when I say, anything you want accomplished on this earth is entirely plausible. Trust me. You wouldn’t believe some of the shit I’ve seen pulled off.
If we can get a plane full of cherry blossom shipped from Japan to the Bahamas in the blink of an eye, anything is possible.
Besides, people are on payroll anyway. They might as well earn their keep. ”
Someone else said that.
The dinner party. Bastian. The night they broke up.
The walk away… And the angst that followed.
Why was walking away from him akin to trauma?
Explained why her insides ached. There was too much.
Inside her. Whatever was crammed in there wanted to get out, yet it stayed pent up, pressurized, ready to blow only… nothing came out.
“I don’t know…”
“It’s that or I get on a plane,” Roxie said with such conviction, there was no doubting her.
“Is that what you want? I’ll get on a plane.
Don’t believe I won’t, Ms. Scott. I’ll do it.
No problem. No hesitation. I’ll bring an entourage like you wouldn’t believe.
The ground will shake. And you won’t be our first stop, honey, no, my first stop will be at your Mr. Hunt’s office. ”
“No—”
“I want to know why he thought it was okay to take advantage of you when you’re vulnerable.”
“It wasn’t like that. It was mutual, I could’ve said no. We were crazy, it wasn’t smart, but… Have you never had a moment like that? When you didn’t need words, the moment was just perfect. Everything lined up and it was just… irresistible?”
“I’m married to Zairn Lomond, honey, absolutely every minute I have with him is like that.
” She sighed. “You can take care of yourself, I get that. But does he? You better figure out what comes next because I guarantee Bastian will track you down. When he does, you have to be ready to stand your ground.”
Ground for what? “You just said he’d give me space.”
“If that’s what you want, tell him. You have to tell him. Demand it. Say the words. Articulate what you want in no uncertain terms. Don’t let him drive. Be forceful and sure or he’ll walk all over you. Be sure, honey.”
She was anything but that. “I’m not ready to talk to him.”
“Then get on a plane,” Roxie droned. “Just do it. You’ll be protected here, you’ll get your work done, and no man will seduce you in rapturous silent moments of carnal communication. Although Tripp’s always on call if you do need a smidge of that.”
“I don’t know Tripp.”
Which kind of wasn’t the point. The words came out before comprehension kicked in.
“Or, hey, go join Zairn,” Roxie said. “I don’t know exactly where he is or what he’s doing, but if you need a hot guy to hold you with no pressure of anything else…”
She laughed. Yeah, it was kind of pathetic, but only Roxie could make something like that possible.
“You’re lucky to have a guy you can…”
“Trust that much?” Roxie asked. “No prenup, I get what I want. I’ll screw him hard in the divorce if we get one. And not in the way he begs for every night. We’re here for whatever you need. My guy’ll feel you up if you want that too.”
“It wouldn’t mean anything to him.”
“No, it would be entirely mechanical. But if you close your eyes, he’ll give it his best shot.”
She would never be that close to Zairn and her friend knew it. It was a tease, a way to cheer her up. The idea was so ludicrous, it worked.
“Because the equipment only functions for you.”
“You better believe it. That cock only comes when Lola calls.”
Her next laugh was stronger. “And only he can make you call.”
“All night long, sister.”
This woman deserved complete, submerging happiness. It was such a wonder how two people could be so perfect for each other while coming from such completely different places.
“Zairn Lomond is one of the most desirable men on the planet.”
“Mm hmm.”
That must contribute a lot to Roxie’s confidence.
Not that she got it from Zairn, but being part of a solid partnership.
Nothing was shouldered alone. What belonged to Roxie belonged to Zairn too, from their friends, their business, every detail of their lives.
Except, somehow, they didn’t crowd each other. Nothing felt forced or hostile.
“And you married him.”
“Want to know what else?” Roxie’s bass dropped just a little. “We started out as friends.”
She couldn’t let her mind even go there. “He wanted you from the moment he met you. He told me that.”
“I didn’t say we weren’t horny friends. We knew each other six weeks before we had sex. How long had you known Bastian before you two…?”
“Less than that.” She quickly followed up. “But not by much.”
“Sometimes biology follows instinct. It knows something you don’t.”
“What?”
Roxie’s laugh was short. “Oh, honey, if I tell you that, I’d suck the fun right out of it.”
“You’re supposed to be my friend,” she said on a faux sob for the sake of clarity.
“Get on a plane. Be my friend up close. We’ll get through this.”
She’d wrecked one friendship, did she want to wreck another?
Yet there was something appealing about the idea of running out on her life.
It didn’t fit and she couldn’t figure it out.
Something had to change. Roxie was so together, so calm and optimistic, maybe she could absorb some of that by proximity alone.
“I have a client meeting tomorrow morning.”
“Take the meeting, then get on a plane.”
Maybe it was time to let someone else take the wheel.
“Let me think about it.”
“Twenty-four hours,” Roxie said. “You better be in the air within twenty-four hours.”
She worked well with clear instructions and Roxie delivered. It didn’t solve anything but at least gave her something to work toward. Would it be enough to distract her from the mess of her life?