Chapter 45
FORTY-FIVE
WHETHER OR NOT she was going to get on a plane, she needed her files. Yes, that’s right, from her office at Bastian’s.
She’d be the first to admit her headspace was a wreck when fleeing the house. That didn’t excuse the insanity of her leaving important things behind.
It didn’t matter. She was there now and would do her best to clear out as much as she could. She’d asked the cab to wait by the gate. He would. Wouldn’t he? The guy wanted his fare and this would only take a few minutes.
Bastian would be at work.
The house would be empty.
Reminding herself didn’t prevent her tippytoeing like a cat burglar in the cartoons. The building didn’t exactly echo, but it didn’t feel the same without him. Couldn’t that be said about any room? Every single breath was razor blades in her throat when her feet weren’t taking her to him.
Breathing only got harder as she moved deeper into the house. She could smell him, almost feel his presence in the air. All she wanted to do was fall into him and it was so selfish. Bastian wasn’t a man who needed someone like her in his life.
The trouble was his good heart. Her selfishness may never have had a chance to manifest if he’d been able to walk away from someone in need.
In need? God, it wasn’t like she’d been dying.
Ascending the stairs, she rested a palm on the banister then withdrew it. Why? Fool. Bastian wouldn’t be dusting for prints, sheesh.
“Robyn, you said this was urgent.”
Bastian’s voice came from somewhere upstairs, she froze on the spot. He was home?
“And you don’t think the rest of our lives is important?” a woman asked, clear as a whistle.
Robyn? He was with Robyn… and quite possibly in his bedroom.
She closed her eyes tight. Please don’t say this was post-coital. Oh, she wouldn’t be able to handle walking in on that.
“I thought you were in trouble,” Bastian said. “You haven’t been here for months.”
“You said it when we broke up, you said it’s time to figure out what’s important. I didn’t hear you then, I wasn’t ready to listen.”
“That’s fine. You didn’t have to call me out of the office in the middle of the afternoon to tell me that.”
“People are more important than work,” Robyn said. “We had a good thing going, we should never have ended it.”
“You were sure you didn’t want it.”
“What did I know?” Robyn asked on a self-deprecating laugh. “It didn’t consume me. Not until I didn’t have you anymore. These last few weeks, I can’t stop thinking about you.”
“I heard you were in Bali.”
“I was.”
“Finding yourself?”
“You could say that,” Robyn said, a smile in the words. “Isn’t that what you told me? We have to figure out what’s important. What you wanted, all of it, I didn’t see it, how important it is to—we have to do this the right way.”
“Robyn, we don’t—”
“I hurt you. I get that. You were trying to tell me we had a future and I wouldn’t listen. It’s no excuse, but everyone knows how your mom is…”
“How my mom is?”
That piqued her interest too. Please don’t insult Carolyn. If Robyn was trying to win Bastian back, deriding his family wouldn’t grease those skids. Walk it back, Robyn. Walk it back.
“She wants you settled down, she wants tradition fulfilled, and an heir and… I wasn’t sure I was ready for that. No.” Her voice strengthened. “I wasn’t ready for that. I wasn’t then. To see what I needed, I had to live without you.”
“To give yourself time to miss me.”
Wasn’t that what he’d said to her? Her fingers curled tighter around the metal handrail that was currently holding her up, palmprint be damned.
“Yes,” Robyn said. “I did miss you. I missed you so much and… Don’t they say if you love something you should set it free? You set me free and this is me, coming back to you. It’s all right. This is the time. This is where our life together starts. Right now.”
“Robyn, we can’t—”
“You have your pride, I understand a man like you doesn’t like being spurned. I didn’t mean it like that; I didn’t mean to refuse or reject you. I just needed some time to get a little perspective.” There was that little laugh again. “A lot of perspective.”
“Things have changed.”
“It’ll take you time to trust me again. I’m willing to do whatever you need me—”
“This is not a punishment. You were right in everything you said then.”
“No, I’m right now. You were right. When we talked about marriage and a family, I got… I panicked. It’s silly, I am sorry.”
“The conversation was hypothetical. If we didn’t want the same things from the future, there was no point continuing the relationship. We agreed then, our expectations are different.”
“Not anymore. It doesn’t have to be hypothetical. It’s not hypothetical. I’m ready. I’m willing. I want this, Bastian. I want you. And we can have it all. You’ll do the proposal. We’ll throw a huge engagement party. Everything. I’ll involve Carolyn and Keely. We can be a family. All of us.”
“It shouldn’t be like that, Robyn. You shouldn’t have to consciously involve people against your will.
Family should be family. You don’t have to like everyone a hundred percent of the time, but the love was never there between any of you.
I’d have more respect if you’d just say you don’t like them—”
“I didn’t say that. I never said that! Your mother didn’t like me from the word go. Without her approval, it’s… I’ll do it. I’ll find a way. I’ll talk to her and apologize for hurting you. I know I’ll have to pay my dues. I’ll do that. Whatever it takes.”
Thing was, if Robyn didn’t have Carolyn, then she had no hope of winning her way into Keely’s good graces. The women were closer than any mother and daughter she’d ever known. And “family” to the Hunts was on a whole other level.
“I would never let a woman I love be mistreated.”
“They didn’t mistreat me,” Robyn said. “It’s a tough circle to crack. They’re close, really close and… I could never figure out my way in.”
Is that what it was like? A love interest had to wheedle their way in? Was there a dance? A specific combination of moves guaranteed to get through the proverbial door? That hadn’t been her experience with the Hunts.
Suppose that was a sign Carolyn and Keely never saw her as a serious contender. She hadn’t been shut out or left in the cold. It was hard to imagine those women doing that to anyone. Then again, they loved Bastian so much, it was only right they protect him from people entrusted with his heart.
“We didn’t split up because of my family.”
“No,” Robyn agreed. “Though I was intimidated. You’re talking about marriage and kids, and there’s your mom glaring at me. How could I be okay with the grandmother of my children disliking me so vehemently?”
Were they talking about the same woman? Carolyn didn’t vehemently dislike anyone. Was she capable of being anything but her warm, welcoming self?
“My family weren’t the reason we broke up.”
“That was part of it, those things add up. But it will be different this time, I promise. I won’t be scared of the future Carolyn wants for you.
I’m ready to do it all. It’s time to figure out what’s important.
That’s what you said. I’ve figured it out, and you’re what’s important.
I want to be with you, Bastian. Forever with you. ”
What was she doing? Her files would have to wait, or she’d start new files. She couldn’t go up there in case they saw her, and if they reunited there and then—God, she wanted to bleach that mental image from her thoughts.
Backing slowly down the stairs, she hoped more than ever that the cab was still waiting. She needed to get out of there. Fast.