Chapter 23
TWENTY-THREE
VIX - PRESENT
I ran out of there like I was caught with my tongue down Kash’s throat.
We weren’t doing anything wrong. I wouldn’t hurt Austin like that, and he didn’t seem bothered in the slightest to see us hanging out.
So why do I feel so guilty for being there?
The way Kash was looking at me… It felt so wrong, but at the same time, right.
Why did I like it? My stomach feels like it’s filled with a thousand drunken butterflies sloshing into one another, and I can’t tell if I feel nauseous or love-struck.
What would Austin think if he knew the thoughts running through my mind right now? Would he hate me? I ask myself countless questions, trying to work out the confusion going on inside of me.
Kash has always been a flirt. He likes to get a rise out of me and push my buttons. It’s his love language with everyone. But this feels different.
I arrive at my room and try the door, but it’s locked.
I remember teasing Leah before I left about her mystery date.
I have my keys with me, but I don’t want to intrude on this little secret that she’s been keeping.
She’ll tell us on her own time. So I walk, and I keep walking to clear my head.
The air is crisp, the cold nipping at my nose as winter is still in full swing, but spring is trying to sing its way through.
It seems no matter how far I walk, I can’t seem to shake this feeling deep in my soul.
I love Austin more than anything, and I would never want to jeopardize what we have.
Some people cross your path for a reason, and that one person may have multiple soulmates in their lifetime.
Austin is one of my soulmates, I’m sure of that.
But from the moment I met Kash, it’s like a small fire ignited inside of me, and I’ve been desperately trying to put out the flames, ignoring the embers that have silently been crackling in my heart.
AUSTIN
I don’t know what happened before I walked into this room tonight, but from the way Vix reacted, it’s like she was spooked by the sight of me.
“What did you say to make her run away so fast?” I ask Kash.
“Nothing! I hadn’t said anything. We were watching a movie, and then you came home, and she ran out,” he explains.
“Well shit, see. I knew I didn’t have anything to worry about. Especially since she’s afraid of being alone with you,” I tease, a wide grin stretches across his face.
“Oh, very funny. It was you that scared her off, not me, my man.” Kash physically relaxes, as if the tension from moments ago is slipping from his body.
I laugh, the digs I could throw his way about how unafraid of me she is, especially with my face between her legs, would be way too cruel to use right now.
So I keep grinning, which sets him off on its own.
“Would you stop smiling at me like that, god damn, now you’re scaring me,” he jokes.
That makes me cheese harder.
“I’m going for a walk to clear my head,” he tells me and slips on his jacket.
“Don’t scare anyone else off while you’re out there,” I tease, and he flips me off. I laugh to myself, finding this way funnier than it actually is.
VIX
“YOU!” The fiery red head points her overly long, red manicured nail in my direction.
“I have a bone to pick with you,” she shouts, storming her way across the room.
I can feel people staring at me due to the outburst. I sit in the student lounge sipping my coffee and reading my book, completely minding my own business, when someone shows up all crotchety and ready to throw hands.
“Well, hello to you, too, Lana. What can I do for you?” I ask, a little too much bite in my tone.
“What didn’t you do?” she retaliates. “You got Austin, yay for you, but that doesn’t mean you get to stake a claim on Kash, too,” she spits.
I laugh. I can’t help myself. I close my book now that she’s piqued my interest.
“I’m sorry, what are you going on about?”
“Oh, don’t act like you have nothing to do with Kash breaking things off with me. He won’t take my calls, tells me he’s not my boyfriend, and avoids me at all costs, and I know it has something to do with you, and I want to know why.”
This information catches me off guard. He made it seem like he didn’t care what we thought about Lana.
“Maybe he’s just come to his senses,” I smirk.
I don’t understand my dislike for this woman.
She seems to rub me the wrong way with her self-centred attitude.
No one is entitled to another human being, and Kash deserves so much better than her.
If she were a dragon, smoke would be puffing from her nose right now with the way she’s glaring at me.
She’s about to spit more fire when I hold my hand up to stop her.
“Look, Lana, I don’t know what happened with you and Kash, but if he’s not interested in hooking up with you anymore, then that’s between you two. I’m with Austin, Kash is free to do whatever he wants, and if that’s not you, then I don’t know what to tell ya.”
I open my book back to where I left off and continue reading as if she isn’t standing right in front of me, throwing daggers with her eyes. She snatches the book out of my hand and throws it down on the table before me, rattling my cup of coffee and my last nerve.
“Do I have your attention now?”
I let out a breath and take a moment before reacting. I’m about to rip her a new one when the energy in the room shifts and I feel him before I hear him.
“LANA.” His voice booms through the room, and my entire body stiffens. Kash is walking over, eyes full of fury for his ex-fling. “I know you two aren’t friends, so there would be no reason for you to be over here spewing your bullshit onto Vix.”
Lana immediately starts to grovel.
“Hey baby, I tried calling you but—”
“Cut the shit,” he cuts her off. “We’re done, Lana.
I told you we’re done. It was just hookups, nothing more, and you knew that.
Time to move on. Don’t bring your bullshit to my friends just because you’re pissed at me.
” He shuts her down. Lana’s eyes water for a split second, and then, like the crazy woman I always thought her to be, she snaps into the evil, vindictive woman she hides behind all of that makeup.
“She’ll just break your heart, Kash. You know she’ll always choose him, and then you’ll come running back to me.” Her voice comes out sickly sweet, and with that, she smiles, blows him a kiss, and walks out of the lounge.
Kash turns to me, no longer giving the situation any attention.
“Hey.” He smiles at me, and my heart warms.
“Hi.” I can’t help but feel the blush rise through my cheeks.
I take a sip of my coffee to cover up the evident shyness that has just washed over me.
Kash sits in the chair across from me, leaning forward, his arms on his knees.
Lana’s words echo in my mind, and I think we’re about to address the elephant in the room, finally.
“Look…” he starts. “I have feelings for you,” Kash blurts out, and I freeze. Unable to move, unable to speak. Frozen by his outright confession, and confused about what my own heart is feeling.
“Now, before you say anything, I know, it’s fucked up.
I don’t know when it started, or why, and believe me, I tried to make it stop.
But I can’t. I think about you all the time.
When I wake up, when I go to sleep, in the shower.
” He stops himself from admitting too much.
“That’s beside the point,” he stumbles over his words.
“The point is, I have feelings for you, and Austin is my friend; hell, he’s practically my brother.
You are my friend. And I don’t want any awkwardness to come out of this.
I just thought you deserved to know.” He leans back in his chair and exhales.
His eyes come to mine, and he waits. A moment of silence passes over us, and I know I need to say something, but what?
“I—” I swallow down the lump that has formed in my throat. “Kash…” I struggle to find the words. How do I say anything back to him when I don’t even know how I feel? And what about Austin? I need to get out of here.
“I know this is a lot to digest. I mean it, I don’t want things to get weird.
But Vix, I can’t keep pretending that I’m not into you.
” We sit in silence for several moments while I try to wrap my head around the words Kash just spilled from his heart.
There are so many things I would love to say, but so much I can’t right at this moment.
I need to process my feelings, I need to figure out the messy storm that is brewing inside my mind.
I really need to leave. Now. There’s only one person I think of that can help me through this mindfuck. Leah.
“Time,” I blurt, dropping my eyes to the floor. I pick up my book, shove it into my bag and grab my coffee cup. “I need some time,” I say and hurry out of the room before Kash can say another word.